Leo sighed. He hadn't wanted April to be a part of this conversation, though it made him feel guilty, considering everything she had done for them.

Donnie glanced at the clock. "I thought it was Casey's job to check on us."

"He's asleep." April scowled. "Funny that the two of you share a room with him, and you snuck down here after he fell asleep."

"So how did you even know we weren't in bed?" Raph said.

"Because it's my job to check on MIkey and Leo."

Leo cringed at the pain in his chest as he turned sideways on the couch so that he could face April. "We couldn't sleep, so we're kind of talking things through. I didn't think we'd actually be able to sleep unless we did."

April's expression softened. "Oh. That makes sense. Sorry." She walked over to the chair next to Donnie and started to sit down.

Leo was trying to figure out whether he should ask her to leave them alone, and how to ask her to leave them alone without hurting her feelings.

Donnie spoke up. "It's kind of a private conversation, April." His voice was firm but gentle.

Leo was floored. Donnie was sending April away? He exchanged a glance with Raph, whose elevated eyebrows indicated a similar response. It made sense, of course. Donnie was vulnerable and probably didn't want April to see that side of him. Leo could hardly blame him for that. But it was still surprising that Donnie felt so strongly about it that he was giving up a chance for April to sit by him, especially since if he was upset, there was a good chance she'd kiss him on the cheek.

Fleetingly, Leo thought that he ought to talk to April about that, since it generally left Donnie completely and utterly baffled by her normal indifference.

"Oh." April sounded startled. "I'm sorry. I guess I should have figured that out."

Donnie gave her a weak smile.

"Thanks for caring though, imouto," Raph said.

Leo shook his head in amazement. The whole world was upside down. Donnie was asking April to leave, and Raph was behaving in a way that could only be described as tender.

April beamed. "You know I'm older than you, right?"

Raph rolled his eyes. "Fine. Shut up and leave us alone, Nēchan."

Now that sounded more like Raph.

"That's better." April grinned. She turned to go, pausing before she did. "If you guys need me, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, April," Leo said. "For everything."

"No problem. You know, it was either help you guys or be stuck alone with Casey, so it was a pretty easy decision."

The fact that she was trying to make light of it indicated to Leo that she had, in fact, been extremely rattled by the whole thing. She was, in a way, trying to console herself. She had saved them, and she wanted to be a part of this conversation. He felt terrible for shutting her out.

But some things were just too private.

Raph snorted. "Try living in the same room as him."

"Pass." With that, April left the room.

They waited until her footsteps had faded before talking again.

Donnie grinned stupidly. "April doesn't want to be alone with Casey?"

"Oh, shut up, Donnie," Raph said.

"We'll have to let everyone in on this a little, guys," Leo said. "Maybe not everything…but after what April went through, she at least deserves to know some of it."

"What about Mikey?" Raph said. "I still can't believe how tame his nightmare was. Do we really want to tell him how bad ours were?"

Donnie shrugged. "In Mikey's defense, he didn't exactly have the most competent beaver."

"Good," Leo said firmly. "I'd rather have my nightmare all over again than let Mikey have to go through something like that."

"I still say we shouldn't tell him." Raph crossed his arms defensively.

"We can't shelter him forever," Donnie said. "I feel like Splinter would want us to be open with him."

Splinter. Leo missed him so badly. Being the leader had been hard enough when he had Splinter's authority to fall back on, but now he was alone at the top.

No. Not alone. His team had his back as much as he had theirs.

"I think you're right, Donnie," Leo sighed. He hated to admit it. He was with Raph – as he had told April, Mikey deserved to be innocent. Nevertheless, Mikey was part of their team. Their brother. He would probably want to know. "But he's sleeping really well right now. We should wait 'til morning. And then, I guess we should decide how much of this we want to share with April and Casey."

Donnie grimaced. "What minimum percentage should we share with them? I mean, is ten percent too low?"

"Whatever you're most comfortable with. We should definitely at least tell her about how her intervening saved us. I already told her a little about mine. She didn't really pry too much. I think she gets it. And Casey, well, he probably won't pry too much, either. He's laid back like that."

Raph heaved an exasperated sigh. Leo could tell from Raph's expression that he would rather not share any of it with their friends, even after he'd just called April his sister. Not just sister. Little sister. Raph wanted to protect her as much as he wanted to protect Mikey. "Fine."

"So…what are we going to do moving forward?" Donnie asked.

Suddenly, Leo was keenly aware of the fact that both of his brothers were staring at him, waiting for him to lead them. He bit his lip and thought for a moment. "Splinter would tell us that acceptance is the key to peace. I think we all need to accept the fact that some of what our nightmares showed us was true. Donnie, you have made a lot of mistakes and screw-ups. We all have. Raph, you can't always be in control. There are always times you're going to be weak. And that goes for all of us. And me? I have to accept the fact that I haven't always been the best leader. I have failed, a lot of times. And of course Shredder is a better leader than I am – he has way more experience.

"But none of that makes us useless, or powerless, or failures. It's not a reason to hate ourselves. We've been that way in the past, but we can move forward from it." Leo let out a light chuckle. "It's like Donnie said. We need to focus on the future tense here. We'll find a way to go back to New York and make things right. Sure, we'll have setbacks, just like always. But we'll find a way to beat the Kraang. We'll find Karai."

Donnie's face started to light up. "Maybe we'll find Sensei, too. In my dream, that voice kept telling me that hope was the same thing is fear. But I'd rather be hopeful than give up."

"Donnie, there's no way that he could have survived that," Raph said. "He was out when he hit the water."

"We don't know that for sure." Donnie's voice leapt up in pitch slightly. "He might have woken just before impact. Even if he didn't, he has human DNA, which means he has a diving reflex. He would have automatically held his breath. There's a chance he woke up and was able to swim out."

Leo braced himself. There was still something he hadn't told his brothers. "Donnie…I want to believe that as much as you do. I hoped too. But…you said that I was dead, right?"

"Medically speaking, yes."

"There was this light. It was beautiful, and it was like I was becoming part of it. Splinter was there, guys. If I was dead, and he was there, then…do the math."

"There's no scientific evidence to support the thought of an afterlife."

"Splinter believed there was," Raph said.

"Oh come on, Raph. You don't actually believe that, do you?"

Raph was silent for a moment. "Yeah, I do."

"Okay. So Splinter was there, Leo. How was he there, exactly?"

"He told me that I couldn't give up. That I had to fight. He gave me a new pair of katanas, and I felt like my chest was exploding with air. Then he kicked me over my heart, and I fell into this dark place I couldn't escape. But something punched my chest again, and I heard you telling me that I couldn't leave you guys. My chest got punched again, and then I used my katanas to slice my way out of that place. I opened my eyes, and, well, you know the rest."

Donnie pursed his lips and shook his head. "Leo, that coincides with me giving you CPR. No one knows what happens to the mind in situations like that. It was a construct of your subconscious. We were all yelling at you not to give up, and to fight. Splinter kicking you after you could breath was me, practically breaking your shell after I gave you rescue breaths. I compressed your heart two more times after that, and then you woke up."

"No, Donnie. I heard you guys yelling too, but it was far away."

"I'm telling you, there's not any scientific evidence that suggests…"

"Splinter is dead." Raph snapped. "Just accept it and move on. We can't have any peace until we all accept that fact. Afterlife or not, you know that there wasn't any way out of that. You've been saying that this whole time until now."

"But – we can't give up hope, right? Splinter talked about acceptance, but he told me that there was always hope."

Donnie was right. Splinter did frequently talk about diametrically opposed things like that. But maybe, just maybe, acceptance and hope weren't so opposite from each other. "We need to accept that he's gone and hold onto hope. Sensei seemed to be able to do it. Why shouldn't we?"

Donnie was beaming, and hope was dawning on Raphael's face for the first time in months.

"What do you say, team?" Leo said, smacking a fist into his hand. "Let's do this."

Raph grinned. "Whatever you say, chief."

"High three?" Donnie asked.

Suddenly, Leo found himself ready to explode with hope too. "High three."

Three hands slapped together.

Miles away, deep in the sewers of New York City, Splinter sat in the lotus position. He had been scouring the city for months, looking for his sons, gathering intel from any of the Kraang who were too scared to refuse him information, and dispatching the ones who did refuse.

All of their reports were the same. The attempt to dispatch three of the ones known as 'the turtles,' the one who was known as 'April O'Neil,' and the one…

Splinter groaned. Nearly four months of only communicating with Kraang was starting to wear on him.

The Kraang had failed to kill three of his sons, April, and Casey. Their location was unknown. When he inquired about his fourth son, he got the same answers every time. Shredder was thought to have killed Leonardo, but the Kraang had been unable to confirm it. No one had retrieved his body, though the current report was that the others had taken it.

Splinter hoped beyond hope that this was true. If Leonardo was not dead, and was with his brothers, then there was the chance that Donatello would be able to revive him. On the other hand, without his laboratory, would Donatello be able to manage it?

Drawing a deep breath, Splinter began to meditate, focusing all his thoughts on Leonardo.

Leonardo, my son. I know that you and I have a strong connection. You, more than all of my sons, have been faithful to the art of meditation. Perhaps, if you still live, my reassurance will reach you in some small way, whether you recognize it or not.

I know you are prone to despair when it comes to your capabilities as a leader, and how you allow your self-doubt to consume you. You might look at this present situation and want to forsake your position.

No, Leonardo. I forbid you from this. You cannot abandon your role. Your family needs you. They need their leader.

Even in the depths of his meditation, Splinter longed to be close to his son. He imagined reaching out and placing his hand on the side of Leonardo's face.

I chose you as leader for a reason, Leonardo. You asked to be leader because you were the only one with the courage and capability to lead. I chose you because I believed – and still do – that you are able to lead this family with bravery and honor. Do not give in to despair. Fight. Fight, my son.

Still in his trance, Splinter imagined handing Leonardo a new pair of katanas, to remind him of his responsibility as leader. To encourage him.

Fight, Leonardo!

He imagined that they were together in the dojo, and that Leonardo was before him, waiting for instructions. He imagined that they were training, getting ready to practice what they were working on just prior to the invasion: a kata for defense against a high, spinning kick to the chest.

Hajime!

Of course, Leonardo would not be able to block it the first time…

A loud sound echoing through the sewers brought Splinter out of his trance, severing his imagined connection with Leonardo. As he rose from the ground, he cursed himself for hoping. If he could only accept the harsh probability that his son was dead, he could move on and find peace in the fact that his other sons were still alive.

Acceptance was always the way to true peace.

But maybe – just maybe – Leonardo was out there, fighting his way to becoming the greatest leader the world would ever see. After all, as he had told his sons on countless occasions, there was always hope. It was time he listened to his own advice.

"Yame," sighed Splinter. Tears rose in his eyes. "You have done well, my son."

The End

Author's note: I hope you enjoyed this story - I had fun writing it. Thanks to everyone who read, favorited, followed, and reviewed this story! Special thanks to Athese, who pointed out that Mikey deserved to know the truth, too.

If you like this story, and you haven't already, check out my profile to see some of the other things I've written for TMNT 2012. Most of my other stories take place after "Slash and Destroy" and before "The Good, the Bad, and the Casey Jones," so they take a significant departure from canon at that point.

Keep on being awesome guys - LTD - Like a turtle do! Booyakasha!