Tenel Ka and Jacen:
Jacen was always the sweetest boy when we were growing up. I loved that he was so connected to nature, something important to my own ancestry. I think that is how we first connected, if I am honest with myself.
He loved animals, and it broke his heart as a child even when a mouse got caught in a trap, pesky though they were.
Thinking of that now makes me sad to think that the sweet, loving person he started out as became so twisted and dark. And now he is gone; his only good legacy being his daughter Allana.
But I do remember the day we created her together. What a wonderful experience, and to think it all began with those simplest, yet most intimate of embraces: that of the lips.
Jacen's kisses were not just a touch of his lips to mine. When he kissed, he was offering himself to me in a way he'd never offered to anyone else. And though quiet and oftentimes withdrawn as Jacen could be, he sure knew how to make love to me.
A smile hints upon my face, a whisper of a sigh escaping me. I must be careful not to let anything obvious slip past my defenses, lest the scum of Hapan society use it against me. Force knows some persons will do anything to gain my crown.
But I do allow my remembered joy to flood me, calming my aching soul. I yearn to feel Jacen- not Caedus's- arms about me, to have him hold me one last time in the embrace of love as only he could.
I see him in our daughter, which at times only pulls at my heart-strings. Yet I would have it no other way. There could be no better means by which to remember the only man I have ever, and will ever love.
A glance at my desk reminds me that I have work to do before I can take a holiday to see Allana. So, sad as it makes me to put away my memories of Jacen, I know I must. For one must move on; or one will get left behind when the galaxy continues to shift.