Rating Changed!! As of this chapter, the story is now rated M. :)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

During the afternoon, Harry was encouraged by Hermione to go outside for some fresh air and maybe go down and see Hagrid for a while. Harry reluctantly agreed, and allowed the brunette to lead him out of the Entrance Hall and onto the cool late September grounds of Hogwarts. The air whipped by them and ruffled Harry's hair causing it to fly up and try to rush off only to be forced to lay flat. The bird's were twittering and standing upon posts ready to take flight; you had to walk away from the posts in fear of anything disgusting dropping out of nowhere.

Harry groaned, "Hermione-"

"Come on, Harry. You have to stay normal, if not-"

"I just don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to answer questions."

"Then don't!" insisted Hermione. "You don't have to answer to anyone, Harry."

"But, it's Hagrid! I can't tell him to piss off… not today, Hermione." He gave her a pleading look.

She smiled gently and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Oh, Harry. I'm so sorry all this had to happen so badly. You don't deserve it."

Harry hugged her warmly, "It's okay, and it's not your fault. You didn't cause this. I did." He smiled, and kissed her cheek, "Want to do our homework together?"

She beamed, "I'd love too!" she said, jumping up and clapping. She led the way back to the entrance. "We can't ever make up our minds."

Harry laughed weakly, "Yeah, first we head off toward Hagrid's and come back. You know, I think we're nutters."

Hermione giggled, "Nutters, we are my dear Harry." said the young girl with a skip in her step. "But, that's the beauty of our friendship." She flashed him a perky smile.

Harry's laugh got a little stronger, as he followed her around corners. The students that passed by whispered, a few Slytherin's stared at them flummoxed. A couple called out, asking if it was all a put-on. But, Harry ignored them, as Hermione kept him entertained by random silly comments that caused him to laugh or snort with amusement.

"Er - Hermione." said Harry, as they went a floor and a half up from Lucius's.

"Yes, Harry?" she stopped and turned.

"We need to go back-"

Hermione laughed, "Why?"

"My stuff is in Lucius' rooms." He said, just as a Hufflepuff fourth year walked by. She tripped over her own shoes when he said this.

"Oh!" She giggled, "Nutters we sure are. Come on!" She switched hands and scaled back down quickly, dragging Harry along in her wake. She then stopped at the door, and cleared her throat, "You better go in first." she said going sheepish. Harry laughed, and moved forward and entered the office without knocking. Hermione timidly stepped in and stood by the door. "I'll wait here!" she squeaked, biting her lip and staring around her.

Harry headed passed the portrait and to the living corridors, to see Lucius was sitting on an armchair and Severus was in the other and they were talking over a drink.

"I saw you walk back and forth on the grounds, as if you were a wayward cat." said Lucius, with amusement, as Harry stopped over to pick up his school bag. Lucius' pulled him down for a hard kiss, which Severus pointed looked away from.

Smiling softly, Harry's eyes glittered, "That's because we couldn't make up our minds - twice. We've had to double back twice. Now, I'm going to Gryffindor to finish my homework with Hermione."

"Where were you going?" asked Lucius, as he handed Harry his Transfiguration book.

"We were going to Hagrids." He said, softly. "But, I don't feel like telling Hagrid to piss off-" He cringed visibly at the thought. "So, we decided to go do our homework instead."

"How you feeling?" asked Lucius, raising the boy's chin and searching his face.

"I'm fine." said Harry, his hand gripping the arm of the chair that Lucius was residing on. He leaned in and kissed Lucius softly.

"I don't believe it."

Harry laughed, and dropped his bag a moment when the man curled his hand around the teen's slender waist and pulled him down. Harry pressed his head against Lucius' chest, while a hand stroked his chest and stomach affectionately. "I'll be fine." Harry corrected, looking lazily over at Severus before turning back to Lucius.

"You know, he didn't mean it." said Severus. "As much as I dislike your father- greatly." Harry sniggered at Severus, only he could make a remark like that sound funny. "I do not believe he was serious. He's a Gryffindor and he panicked."

Harry bit his lip, "That hurt." He said, softly as he looked far off. "Maybe he was serious and maybe he wasn't. But, I've had my say and I'm not changing my words." He tried not to blush as he said this. Lucius' fingers brushed against his cheek. His eyes flickered up at him for the briefest of moments, "I meant what I told him, whether his threat becomes fact or fiction." Harry lay there on Lucius' lap; he didn't want to move, but he had a friend outside waiting and he couldn't keep her waiting for too long. "I better get out there, Hermione's waiting on me." He said, pressing his forehead into Lucius' chest.

His chin was lifted up once again and Lucius brushed a kiss against Harry's lips. "You coming back?"

"Why wouldn't I?" said Harry, pulling himself out of the position he was in.

Lucius nodded, "If you see my son on the way, would you let him know, I'm looking for him?"

Harry laughed again but a little more quietly, "Will do." said Harry. He adjusted his robes, picked up his bag, and gave a small smile. "See you later." He nodded to Severus, and brushed by but not without touching Lucius one last time on the shoulder.

Harry and Hermione checked the library before heading off to Gryffindor, mainly to see if Draco was in there and too his luck he was. With Hermione's hand in his he walked over to Draco, Blaise Zabini, and three more of his friends.

Draco looked up and passed him at Hermione, who was blushing slightly in the cheeks, "Hey Harry." said Draco, his eyes lingering on Hermione.

The rest of the group, Pansy included were looking at them strangely.

Harry forced a fake smile, "Draco. Your father is looking for you."

Draco snorted and shook his head, "Is he looking for me or is he sitting there having a drink and waiting for me to randomly pop up?"

Harry laughed very softly, "Exactly. He just told me if I saw you on my way."

"Lucky, you found me then." said Draco, smirking.

"So, this isn't fake-" said Pansy, still in disbelief.

Draco blinked and looked over at her, "Why would I lie about it?" He asked, disgruntled. "Why would Harry lie about it?"

Pansy stared at him and laughed, "Harry? It's Harry now?"

Harry and Hermione exchanged looks, "Draco, I'll see you-" said Harry touching him on the shoulder.

Draco nodded, "See you, later."

"Are you really accepting this?" Was the last thing Harry and Hermione heard before they left the library.

"She's a -" Hermione stopped, and looked at Harry.

"Bitch?" He finished for her.

"Yeah…" She agreed.

"We've always known that dear."

"Yeah…" repeated Hermione biting her lip.

Harry and Hermione hardly got any peace and quiet in Gryffindor. The ones who were most bold, like Lavender, Parvati, Seamus, and Dean came over inquiring about what was going on.

"Harry? Are you really, serious about this?" asked Parvati, for the umpteenth time. "I mean, he is a Malfoy and - he was horrible to you last year…"

Harry rolled his eyes, and glanced up from the Transfiguration book he had wide open. "Why is it so important?"

"We just wondered-" said Parvati, her curiosity at its highest.

"Of course you did -" retorted Harry coldly. "Everyone wonders about my so-called life. Why not back off and get your own and leave me alone? I get enough bull shit with the damn papers, I don't need a full on interrogation while I'm trying to study in private in the common room." he leaned back and picked up the book and placed it in front of his face, to tell her that the conversation was over with.

Her face was red with embarrassment and she walked away with a chastened edge. Hermione's hand ran up his shoulder and rubbed it affectionately, "That's my Harry. You tell them where to stick it -"

Harry laughed weakly and flipped the book back onto the table. He took a hold of Hermione's notes and compared them to his own. They talked quietly back and forth with one another as people randomly walked by and stared. But, after Parvati had been told off, not many dared to come up and ask him again, except for the mates in his dorm. They still had some gaul left in them.

Seamus asked him if he was taking a love potion, while Dean brought up the fact that Gryffindors didn't naturally date Slytherins, especially the teachers. Harry pretended as if they hadn't spoken as he finished his homework.

By dinnertime Harry was annoyed and he gave Hermione a sorrowful look as they were heading toward the Great Hall. Instead, he stopped at the fourth floor, "I am not in the mood to eat. I'm going to go lay down." he said, he said wearily. "Do you mind?"

Hermione smiled softly and touched his cheek and kissed it, "Of course not, Harry. Go on, I'll bring you something up later."

He returned the smile, thankful for her understanding. He hugged her and then headed down the corridor and to Lucius' office. He soon went through the portrait and found himself in an empty room. Harry knew he ought to go to dinner, but to thousands of prying eyes; Harry just couldn't muster anymore energy to do so. He sank down onto the comfortable sofa and then kicked off his shoes and lifted his feet and grabbed a cushion. What little bit of the day he spent out in roaming eyes of Hogwart's society was exhausting and the teen felt his nerves wind around what was left of his energy and squeeze until it dwindled. Harry didn't know how long he lay there but it was long enough for him to forget the world around him momentarily.

When Harry awoke he felt something brush against the fringe of his bangs and then touch his forehead, running down passed temple, and along his soft cheek. A sigh escaped his mouth, as the slumbering sleep left his body and his mind began to clear. He opened his brilliant eyes only to come face to face with Lucius who was sitting on the edge of the sofa with his hand continuously stroking him. Harry brought his hand from under the cushion and touched Lucius' knee, and shifted in his place from his side to his back.

No words needed to be exchanged as the older man bowed his head and placed a kiss against his forehead and then his lips. Harry's heart immediately responded as his mouth opened and drank him in. He brought his hand up from Lucius' knee and pressed supplely along his cheek. The gentle tremors ran along Harry's veins racing through and causing a warmness to wrap velvety like around him, holding him close and when his eyes reopened and his lips parted from Lucius' he was aware that the velvet internal feeling of being held was indeed real and external.

"I was worried." He said at last, his voice was quiet and earnest. "Are you hungry?" Harry licked his lips and kissed him innocently, before shaking his head; he brushed his fingers through Lucius' blond hair distractedly. "You still tired? You've been asleep for about an hour." His eyes were burning slightly and his limbs felt as if they weighed more before he lay down. He was about to say no, when Lucius snorted, "Yes, you are." He said at once. "You're exhausted, emotionally and mentally. Can you get up and make it to the bed, or do I need to carry you?"

Harry laughed softly, and forced his tired body to rise up and wrap his arms around Lucius. "I believe I can make it." His voice was barely above a whisper, due to the lack of energy to bring it up a notch. "Thank you." He said, pulling back, only to receive a kiss in return.

-

At the start of the next morning, Harry was sitting cross legged at the dining table staring at the letters in front of him. He wasn't entirely sure whether he wanted to open them or not.

One was from Remus, Sirius, and his mother. It didn't surprise Harry that there wasn't a letter from his father in the pile. He was kind of glad there wasn't either. Lucius watched him over breakfast and urged him to open Remus' first. Harry sighed, picked it up, and ripped the seal.

Dear Cub,

I am so very sorry I was not there to stop your father from acting foolishly. When I saw the paper the next morning, I was positively livid with anger. I cannot express just how upset me and the werewolf was over what we saw in the paper. Your father has received his comeuppance for acting so horrible toward his only child. Your mother was not happy with what she found in the way she found out, nor was Sirius or the Headmaster. The werewolf was especially, unhappy. It took a lot to keep the wolf tucked away.

James is my best friend. I love him dearly, but you are my cub and there is nothing greater in this world to a wolf than his cub, by blood or not. You know very well, that I give you my whole heart and blessing on your relationship with Lucius Malfoy, and I will always stand by you, whether your decisions are wrong or right, they are yours and yours alone to make. Don't ever forget how much I love you and never allow one man's judgement to taint us all.

You know me better than that. I love you; write me back so I know you received this.

Love always,

Remus and Moony

Harry laughed quietly and handed the letter unconsciously to Lucius before picking up Sirius' letter with a grimace. His godfather was known pretty well for taking his father's side on just about anything.

"You should have known this." said Lucius, holding Remus' letter.

"I know," said Harry softly, as he hesitantly unfolded Sirius' letter. "What do you do when you have a wayward heart?" He turned his eyes down onto Sirius' letter finally. It was long, at least two pages.

Dear Harry,

There's not much I can say that Remus hasn't already said. I know you anticipated on a letter from me backing up what your dad has done. But, I do not and would not ever back my best friend up for the ridiculous episode he pulled against you; his only son and my only godson. Although, we're not as close as I would like to be, you still are the most important thing to me. As your godfather it is my duty, my heart would not allow me to ever take your father's side on this.

I love you more than anything in this world, and I reminded your dad yesterday that he was acting in the exact same fashion that my family acted toward me for being in Gryffindor. I do not think he appreciated the truthful comparison, nor did he appreciate about being ravaged by an angry werewolf. I'll tell you, I have never seen Moony act that way, not even Wormtail brought that kind of anger out of him.

I will admit to you, I find your newfound companion strange. We have not gotten along in the past, but things can change. They always do, and even if I am not exactly thrilled with this relationship; it is not mine to dictate. It is your own and your father should have known that and had just a bit more grace and tact. His pride was wounded he took it out on you. But, I accept your decision and accept it as it is and I would never dishonour you by turning into my parents and acting snide and cynical. I wish you the best and I love you, never forget that. You are my number one priority. If anything was to happen to your parents, it is in my hands to take over and take control but not of your life. It is my duty to take control of what you cannot and your life isn't in the godfather manual. I should have seen it years ago that I was not supportive of you and I tended to make fun and joke at your expense when I am sure it hurt the most. I will make damn sure I never make that mistake again.


I have to be honest with you, when I saw you with Remus the night before you had to go back to school, I became so jealous and my heart sank and drowned in that green foam of jealousy. It was then that I realized that I didn't even know my godson and there were weeks that went by when you and I wouldn't speak, except for an exchange of greetings and a couple hugs. I've never went out of my way to check on you and you've never made an effort to come see me, while Remus is always at your side and you are always going out of your way to see him. It hurt, Harry, it hurt something fierce and since then I have been revaluating our lives and priorities.

I wanted to let you know this, but I did not know how. I hope you keep in mind how I feel, for everything I said is true. I believe your father realises just what a moron he's been - especially after being kicked hard in the arse by those he never expected.

Enjoy your morning Harry. I hope I helped, even if it is a late a little late. Don't listen to your father; he's just being a jack arse. Besides, since when has your father ever gone through with anything as ridiculous as that? Not to mention he loses you he loses his wife as well. Take care.

Love,


Your Godfather, Sirius

Harry swallowed the feelings that threatened to leave his heart, which was feeling restricted and strained. He smiled, "Nothing I expected." He said, after a second and handed the letter to Lucius before picking up his mums. "Do I even want to read?" He looked down solemnly at it.

Lucius brushed the boy's hair out of the way and grazed the ear with a simple silver loop. Harry looked up at the touch, "I think you ought to read. Don't torture yourself with the Gryffindor curiosity."

Harry snickered softly, "Yeah, best not." He picked up his mother's letter. "Now or never."

Dear Harry,


Oh, honey, I couldn't believe it! I never thought it possible for your father to do something so cruel and inhuman. He was always an insensitive git but he went way too far with you my baby. Please do not believe that I agree with anything that was said yesterday. I can't believe the way I found out. My own husband and father of our only child turning into a right bastard before my eyes. I never would have believed it. I wanted to come to the school, but the Headmaster told me you were in good care.

I want you to know, that even though I do have my concerns as every mother would and does, I am supporting you as much as I possibly can from a mother's side of love. You remember that I will never forsake you for anything in this world. You know, I have your back in all you do. If you believe this is the relationship you want and if you're happy then I have no choice but to support you. I don't quite understand your reasons, and maybe sometime you could explain them to me, but until then I will make sure your father can't walk again for a week - or maybe a month. Who knows. I love you loads son, and please, don't stress the idiocy of your father. He's famous for it and now the whole world knows.

Love,
Your mum

Harry laughed and again restrained the tears. "I feel sorry for dad."

Lucius scowled, "Feel bad?" He asked, darkly. "Why should you feel bad?"

Harry handed him his mother's letter, "It's funny but - I can imagine Remus and my mum being upset? A redhead and a werewolf? How can you not feel sorry?"

Lucius rolled his eyes, "He hit you, that's how I don't feel sorry. If I knew it wouldn't backlash on you, I'd go over there and take care of it myself." His tone had turned sharp his eyes lit up. But, as quickly as Harry saw it, it vanished.

Lucius didn't want to pry into the letter from his mother, so he sat it down nonchalantly and picked up the grapefruit. "Eat. You had nothing yesterday and you'll be sick if you don't eat something."

Harry looked down at his half eaten strawberry shortcake muffin and the water sitting on the table. "I am!" he insisted, although his appetite wasn't really into the food he ate it anyway.

Before Harry left for classes, Lucius pulled him close and claimed him with a hard kiss that left Harry dazed and in a much lighter mood than it had started off.

He was surprised to meet Hermione just outside of Lucius' office. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him in a sisterly embrace. "Morning, Harry how you feeling?"

Harry pulled out the three letters he got from his family and handed them to her. "A little better, I wouldn't know what to do with you and Lucius. I'd be bloody lost."

Hermione smiled softly and opened Remus' letter as they headed toward Transfiguration. "Did your dad write?"

"No, I'm glad he didn't." said Harry, as they rounded the corner and ran into a set of Ravenclaws who were going in the same direction.

Several of them stared at Harry theorising where he had been, while other's trying to decipher whether the newspaper was right or wrong. The door to the Transfiguration room was closed; the Gryffindor's headed toward them from the tower. Ron was staring at his best friend hoping to catch his eye, but Harry pointedly rummaged through his bag and pretended as if Ron wasn't even there.

It broke Harry's heart to do this, to pretend as if Ron didn't exist, but he didn't know what else to do. He was hurt even more by Ron's lack of trust in him and now Harry had absolutely no trust toward Ron.

He wondered if it would ever be replenished.

After Transfiguration came Care of Magical Creatures. The teen had half a mind to skip it, but Hermione gave him that, 'I don't think so.' look.

The grounds were cool with the beginning of October weather. The wind breezed by ruffling Harry's coal black hair and trying to push him forward. Harry could hear Ron's footsteps behind him but he kept his eyes on the dry yellowing grass.

Hermione's arm looped through Harry's when there was a call for his name behind them. He glanced over to see Draco walking up to him. The Gryffindor's eyed him shrewdly, while the Slytherin's hung back and observed the strangeness.

"Hey Draco." said Harry amiable.

"You didn't come to dinner last night."

"I fell asleep." He told the Slytherin.

"At five o' clock?"

"Yeah, I was drained."

"Apparently," His eyes then fell on Hermione, "Hello Hermione."

Hermione looked over at him and tried not to blush, "Hi, Draco."

Hagrid's Hut came into view and they could see the massive half-giant standing there with his eyes glittering brightly.

During the middle of the lesson, Hagrid motioned for Harry, who dropped the bright blue crab egg and headed over to the stump that Hagrid was perched upon.

"How yeh doing Harry?" asked Hagrid, with concern. "I read about the papers and wha' happened. I never believed it of ol' James."

Harry grimaced inwardly, and glanced over his shoulder at Hermione who was talking to Draco. He spared a look at Ron to see that he was staring back at him. Their eyes locked, and a zap of pain shot deep like a knife to his heart. He looked away quickly when his eyes started to burn.

"I'm fine, Hagrid." He said softly.

Hagrid arched an eyebrow, "Yeh don't look fine, Harry. You miss him don'chya?"

Harry flinched visibly when Hagrid said that. "Of course I do." He said swiftly.

"Believe me, Harry he regrets betraying your trust. He's been down at me hut too much for a seventeen year old." The rip in his heart began to cut deeper; Harry looked away from Hagrid and crossed his arms over his chest. He suddenly felt very vulnerable. "He only did wha' he thought was best. He had no idea tha' yer father would do what he did. No one would have guessed tha' he woul' take it so far."

"Yeah, well, he did." said Harry shortly. "I'll forgive Ron, just not today."

Hagrid arched an eyebrow, his beard twitched, "I believe yeh already have deep down and yeh're letting tha' ol' pride get in the way."

Harry scowled and dropped his arms, "It's not my pride that's in the way, Hagrid. It's the fact that I trusted my best friend with something and he went behind my back."

"He was concerned! I woul' be too if I were 'em. Yeh know he don' think straigh' much of the time. He listened to his 'eart Harry not his mind."

This conversation was turning more and more hurtful by each passing moment it continued on. He swallowed the thick lump in his throat. "I know, but I told him how I felt. I did everything I could to convince him how important this was for me..." he murmured looking down at his shoes.

"Yeh were hurt once before Harry, I am sure he just didn' want that to happen again."

"No." said Harry shaking his head. "It's not that. He went off like he did because of the animosity between the families."

"Do you really, think that was what it was all about?" asked Hagrid, truthfully. "You honestly believe it was because of the Weasley and Malfoy banter that caused yer best friend to call upon your father for 'elp?"

Harry felt his green irises burn as the tears began to swim to the surface. It was becoming harder and harder to swallow the lumps that continued to form. "It's just all fucked up." said Harry finally. "I want my life back."

Hagrid tilted his head and patted the boy on the arm, "Yeh'll get it. I don' understand yeh Harry, but I'll go with you on it. I told him that. I believe he has been punished..."

Harry was beginning to feel feverish, splotches of heat formed along his face and beneath his robes. His heart was pounding so hard he was sure everyone could hear it. He felt on display for the whole world to see.

He had to get out of there.

As soon as class was over, Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and nearly ran away from Hagrid's hut.

"Harry what happened?" she asked, running just behind him.

Harry shook his head not wanting to answer her; he pushed open the Hogwart's doors. "I think I'm going back to bed..." He said, looking over his shoulder. "I can't stand this!"

With his emotions flying high Harry's vision had tunnelled so much that he hadn't been paying attention as to where he was walking until he literally bumped into someone who had been standing there for quite a while.

Harry found his eyes flickering up to his father.

Hermione's hand gripped Harry as the teen backed up quickly.

"Harry." He said, softly to his son.

Students that filtered in gasped, when they saw James Potter. The students from Care of Magical Creatures had finally caught up to Harry and Hermione, and stopped instinctively when they saw Harry and James.

Harry didn't respond to James and turned to go, "Wait!" Called James, his hand out to stop his son. Harry jerked away before his could come in contact with him. "Please, Harry? Can we go and talk?"

"What for? So you can humiliate me again?"

"No, no. I am so sorry!" His tone grew louder than usual. "I never meant to lash out in the way I did. I wasn't thinking straight. Please, Harry?"

This day was just getting more and more emotional. Harry was on the verge of a nervous, mental, and emotional breakdown. How much more could he take before he made an even bigger fool of himself?

"I don't want to talk." said Harry, his face aflame.

"Then can I talk?" asked James, pleadingly. "I am so sorry, I never meant what I said, and I'm sorry for what I did. The Headmaster has given me permission to come and talk to you."

Harry grimaced as people gathered around to hear, the teen couldn't stand anymore drama. "Not here! I'm sick of people nosing into my business. Besides, you've said enough to last a lifetime. I got the hint the other day; I'm not changing my mind."

James cringed, "I know, and I accept that. I never should have gone off like I did, especially in front of the goddamn world. I know how you feel now."

"Really?" challenged Harry, arching an eyebrow. "Well, I'm still not talking here and I don't think I want to be alone with you." At this remark, a flash of pain splashed over James' features. His hazel brown eyes glittered sadly.

Words were drastically failing him.

"I believe that Harry has endured enough humiliation, James Potter." said Lucius Malfoy, stepping up beside Harry. "Why don't you two take this in my office?" He looked Harry over, as if x-raying him.

James glanced warily at Lucius for a moment before looking back at Harry and nodded, "That sounds fine, Harry?" He looked quickly to the teen with pleading eyes. The only response Harry gave was a nod and then he walked off toward the Grand Staircase, leaving James to stand there confused for a moment.

He was the first to arrive in Lucius' empty office, and he took full advantage of the few seconds he had alone before his father joined him. He leant against the closed door with his eyes closed, taking several deep breaths and trying to stop the trembling in his arms and legs. This was the last thing he needed today.

He just had time to pull himself together before a knock came at the door. For the minute, he didn't bother to open it and instead moved around the large desk to sit in the chair next to Lucius', one that had been put there recently for him. He felt better in it, safer, and so he slowly lifted his head to look up when the door opened.

James entered looking thoroughly out of his depth, clearly unsure what to think about the Slytherin who came in close behind. Harry didn't particularly care, nor did he attempt to stop the flash of relief that crossed his face as Lucius closed the door behind him and moved to sit in his own chair, automatically picking up Harry's hand and locking their fingers together.

James' hazel eyes dropped to their hands and then pointedly looked away and took in the sight of the office instead. The silence dragged on awkwardly, but it gave Harry the time to calm down and assess the situation, still grateful for Lucius' presence.

"You said you wanted to talk, so talk." He said idly after a minute, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. James hesitated and then glanced at the chair that sat on the other side of the desk, but obviously decided to remain standing, he started pacing.

"I'm so sorry." He murmured, his voice breaking slightly. "When Ron told me, I couldn't believe it. I let old rivalries get in the way of any rational thought, and I managed to convince myself that this whole thing was a farce, a way for you to rebel against me for talking to Roger at the Ball. I regret it, like I've never regretted anything before. I regret every word spoken that day and when I hit you – oh Merlin, Harry, I was such a fool. Can you ever forgive me?"

Harry didn't bother to reply, if just because he could think of nothing to say to that. He knew that, in the end, he had no choice anyway. He wasn't the type to hold grudges when it hurt him as much as it hurt the other person. Lucius squeezed his hand gently, but he too remained silent. When it became apparent that James was waiting for an answer though, Harry spoke softly.

"I've had more than enough drama for one weekend." He murmured. "And I don't need anymore added to it. You hurt me, your words more than the slap, and they won't be easy to forget." James opened his mouth to speak, but Harry shook his head. "However, I don't want to live my life constantly afraid that I'll do something wrong and you will carry through with your threat to disown me. I just want everything to go back to normal; I don't want to have to answer to my every step, just because someone somewhere doesn't understand something I'm doing with my own life. I have enough people on my back; I don't need you as well."

"Harry-"

"I love Lucius." Harry interrupted softly, averting his eyes from the Slytherin pointedly, and unable to stop the slight blush that stained his cheeks. "I love him. I feel safe with him, like he'll take care of everything, of me, and never intentionally hurt me."

"I wouldn't. Ever." Lucius murmured more for Harry's benefit that anything else, lifting the smaller hand up to his lips to press a brief kiss to the knuckles. James bowed his head.

"I won't deny that this is hard to accept," he said, choosing his words very carefully, "but I do agree that it is not my place to say who you can and who you cant give your heart too. You were right, when you said before that I had never suffered as you did with Roger, I was a fool and I didn't even think you were hurting. I've had to sit myself down and imagine how I would feel if your mother ever did the same to me… I'm sorry Harry, I'm so sorry for never being there for you." He said and then paused, his eyes rimming with tears. "It's just… when things get difficult and uncomfortable, I tend to try and laugh it away, and it's who I am. I just – I want things to go back the way they were with us. No. No, I don't."

"You don't?" Harry asked, confused, and James offered a small sad smile.

"I don't. I want us to be closer. I want to understand, and be there for you when you're hurting. I want to be a better father, but there are times when I just don't know what to do. I've never intended to hurt you, if I could take back every word, every action, of the last few weeks, please, believe that I would do so…"

Harry felt the lump in his throat getting bigger by the second, and he wondered, almost hysterically, if he would end up choking on it. His grip tightened on Lucius' hand until his knuckles were white, but the older man gave no sign that it hurt, and instead squeezed back softly once more.

"I – I don't know. I don't know what to do, or think, anymore." Harry whispered and then before he could say anything else, James spoke again, desperation and pleading crawling into his tone.

"Don't be scared of me! Of all people, please do not be scared of me...!" He sounded like a wounded animal. "I'm your father not a monster." Tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes as he sank to his knees heavily in the middle of the office, his head bowed and his unruly hair falling to cover his face from view.

Harry bit his lip and turned his head away, trying to tell himself that his father deserved every last bit of this, but he couldn't do it. He knew that he wouldn't be able to stay mad forever and he had never before seen James in this state. For him to actually cry and beg – in front of a Slytherin at that – Harry's chest tightened, he never wanted to see it again.

Instead of speaking, he stood swiftly and made his way around to the other side of the desk, his emerald gaze fixed on the shaking shoulders of his father. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around the man's neck, and barely noticed as Lucius slipped out of the room silently, allowing them time to themselves.

"It's okay." Harry whispered, choking back his own tears. "Everything will be okay." In response, James grabbed Harry around the waist and pulled him closer, holding him as tightly as he possibly could without cutting off his air supply.

They remained that way for a long time, whispering to each other words of apology and forgiveness, for times that went way beyond the weekend and well into the childhood. James apologised for everything from laughing when he fell and grazed his knee at five, to even think about forgiving Roger of his atrocities, and by the time they pulled away from each other's grasp, night had fallen and they were both laughing through their exhausting tears at any horrible pranks that James suggested for the Ravenclaw.