Chapter 20.
"Why…why am I so angry?" I stutter out to Danahi, who is still surveying me as I hold the book.
"It's the book, it's this sort of magic. In a way it feeds off anger." He says calmly like he talks about this sort of stuff everyday. "You can control it Ve"
"How? How can I? All I can think about it what everyone has done to me and how I hate them all so much" I say with gritted teeth.
"Stop concentrating on the book. This is why you're angry, its making you feel that way."
"How the hell does a book make me angry?" I glare at him, more of my anger rising.
"Because it's what this sort of magic does Vienna, this is how it lives. You need to calm down."
"I'm trying!" I yell at him.
"Vienna, stop, calm down, I'm not enemy here. Here, take my hands." What the hell is holding his hands going to do? He looks at me with wide eyes, clearly genuine with his instructions. I slowly extend my hands toward his and eventually take hold.
Nothing happens at first but I see Danahi close his eyes and he tenses in concentration. What is he doing?
A few more moments pass but my anger doesn't budge, then without warning, it slowly fades away. My mind calms and I sag in relief. I feel exhausted. Another moment passes and he finally lets go of me. My anger has diminished a little, though not gone completely.
"What was that?" I ask him. He looks slightly worn out, like whatever he just done just took all of his energy.
"A spell. It counteracts aggression. Pretty useful really. I guess you could call it a happy spell, it calms people down, and I've used it multiple times to get away from guardians." Wow.
"Oh nice. Well I guess it worked. You may have to show me how to use that one."
I honestly can't believe how angry I got. It blinded me.
I'm hesitant to touch the book again, afraid that it might take over me, but a small nod from him persuades me. I glance down at the book again. It just looks like a brown leather parcel. Nothing seems to be holding it together. It just looks like a brown leather box.
Just as my hands collide with the book. I feel more or the anger flare up but it's immediately pushed down by Danahi's counteraction spell. Though with the pulse of anger, I hear a solitary whisper, hushing a single sentence in Latin.
"Occulta et ipse vivet vinctum"
It's only whispered once. Staring down at the book, I feel a burning wonder to see what would happen if I said it.
I concentrate on the words and try to replicate the words.
"Occulta et ipse vivet vinctum" I whisper. I say it so low that Danahi can't hear it, it's only when his brow creases do I realise he knows something is happening.
I feel a small flutter in my head and I expect a vision but it doesn't come, instead something more surprising happens. It's like someone is washing a dirty wall. Brown leather melts away in different places but flows over the whole book. I see sparkles of silver on the top and bottom but I can't quite make what it is yet.
I'm too stunned by what's happening. So it Danahi. He leans forward and gasps. I watch as more of the cover slips away and once it stops it takes a clear form of a book. A very thick one. I can tell by the pages that it is worn down, pages peek out between others. I turn back to the cover, which I can clearly see now. A silver N resides in the top left corner, the silver gleaming like it has been freshly done. At the bottom on the page, more silver writing sits.
Book of Shadows.
"Any idea what that means?" I ask Danahi. He still eyes the book warily
"A book of shadows contains all of a Witches spells and information. It pretty much is the life of a witch. Everyone has to have them." How does he know that?
"How do you know? Do you have one?" I raise an eyebrow at him and he looks back up to me, wearing his trademark smirk.
"Sources. And I did. Mine was stolen."
"What do you mean, stolen?"
"When I ran from Guardians. They found my stuff and they burned it all so I don't have access to any of it. Although, I've slowly been collecting my stuff again."
"Yeah about that. Why are you running from the Guardians."
"Because of my last name." he says the last few words gravely and then shifts his attention back to the book. He reaches forward, as if to take it.
"Hey," I swat his hand. "Keep your hands off. I'm the one that opened it, I get the first look." Danahi narrows his eyes at me.
"Don't forget who got you that book." It sounds like a threat. I straighten up and look at him squarely.
"Don't forget who the one that opened it was. You couldn't, I could, so I'm claiming it" I tell him evenly. I pick the book up and hold it in my lap. Danahi visibly tries to hold himself back.
"Well at least show me something. I got that for you, you owe me." He says through gritted teeth.
"Fine" I agree.
I sit with the Book of Shadows in my lap, running my hands over the material. I can't believe this is it. This Book, this is what I've have seen in so many of my visions. This is what I was meant to get. But it's also the very thing that killed my family. It's also the thing that created strigoi. My anger slowly ebbs in again, but I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
The first thing I see when I open it, is a coal smudged piece of paper. Black marks are smeared on the back and a few on the front. I run my fingers over it and what feels like ash, covers my fingertips. Fire. This must have been what Louella was writing the day she was killed, like in my last vision. Black ink whirls around the paper, all in cursive writing and is barely recognisable.
"My dearest daughter,
If you are reading this, it means that you have found our family history and also the price of the damage it causes. It also means you know that the people you thought to be your parents, are not. For that, I am sorry. I had no choice but to send you away to a family who can live out their lives long enough to raise you to the bright young woman I know you will be, as I cannot give you the life you need.
Our family is one of many origins my dear, we are the Nesahlas. But between the greed of the royal families and the anguish our name has brought us, I am saddened to say you may never wear our family name. Through the years our family has had powers not many can quiet fathom, and as the first family to use our blood to forge the darkness that will soon plague our world, the king wants our line extinguished. You must not share this secret with anyone, keep your new family name as it will bring safety to you and your family for many years to come. By the time you may have found this, we will be gone, but my dear, dear daughter, do not worry or cry for us, for we are always here.
Love always, your mother, Louella Nesahla"
I read the letter over and over, reading yet not processing the information. Her daughter must be Vienna, the first Vienna Markson. I wonder if she ever found this. Danahi comes to stand behind me and peeks over my shoulder to read the letter. He gives a small nod of acknowledgement as he reads and then sits back in front of me.
"How is this letter so well preserved? I mean these people lived centuries ago, it looks as if it's been freshly written" I look back to him and he shrugs.
"Must have been the spell, looks like every page within the book was protected from aging even a day."
"Yeah about that, how come I was the only one able to open it?
We're related. You have the same powers as me so why wouldn't it work for you?" he shrugs again.
I go to turn the page to see what else I could find in here but I notice Danahi leaning over, also looking. I pull the book toward my chest, covering the pages.
"Hey, eyes off, you seen your page."
"Are you kidding me? That was one letter!" he says with wide eyes, clearly desperate to learn more.
"Yeah, and you still seen it." I narrow my eyes at him, seeing if he will challenge me.
He glares at me for a moment longer and then glances around the space we are in. He then gets up and starts putting things away.
"Whoa hey, what are you doing?" I shut the book and stand up beside him.
"Packing up, we have been out here for a long time and people will wonder, especially your boyfriend." He spits the words out and continues to pack his things up.
"Fine" I say bluntly. My anger is starting to return and I'm starting to get frustrated.
I shove the book of shadows into my bag and start walking back to my room but before I take a step, Danahi interrupts.
"Hey, don't forget you still need to learn magic. I'll find you tomorrow." He says and returns to packing his things. I sigh and keep walking back to my dorm.
As I'm walking back to my room, my rage continues to flow back to me, Danahi's spell is clearly wearing off. Maybe I should get him to teach me that one. I walk past crowds of people, all standing close together, whispering and giggling. I stomp back to my room and slam the door. Before I have a chance to think someone knocks behind me. Shit, Max is here, I forgot about him. I quickly shove my bag under my bed and open the door.
Max stands there looking disappointed.
"What happened to you today?" he says evenly, still standing in my doorway. I open the door further to let him in but he doesn't move a muscle.
"Sorry I wasn't feeling well today, I was going to find you but I've been sick." I say in a small voice. Maybe I should be an actress. Max's eyes soften and he steps forward to hug me.
"Are you ok? Do you know why you were sick?" he asks, giving me a kiss on my forehead.
"No, it just came on."
"When was the last time you had blood?" he asks. Oh right. I forgot I needed that. I haven't had any in almost 3 days.
"About 3 days." I say truthfully. He sighs and steps back and takes my hand.
"Come on then, you need to feed." He ushers me out of my door before I can say anything. I cast a quick glance at where my bag hides with the book and then shut my door.
I manage to plaster a fake smile on my face the whole way over to the feeders, hoping that Max doesn't start asking any questions. Questions that I cant answer and right now, I really dont want to get into. The more I see people around this place, the more time I spend with Max, the more my anger builds. We walk into the feeder's room together, put my name down and wait patiently. Not many people are here so I don't have long to wait.
This time my feeder is a man. Long blond hair that sits just below his ears, he has a dazed expression on his face, the expression indicating the high that these people get from a bite. He sits up eagerly as he sees me approach and tilts his neck, giving me clear access. Suddenly, hunger blooms in my stomach. I try to calm myself and then feed from him. My fangs sink into his neck and I taste blood starting to flow into my mouth. I feel the feeder go slack against me, the high taking affect. I drink for a bit longer than I should, savouring every single drop he gives me.
Before I can stop it, a dangerous thought flows through my mind. What would it be like to take all of his blood. With great restraint, I pull myself away and lick my lips.