Chapter 21.
It seems that everywhere I go, people are whispering and giving me strange looks, I can tell its mostly about me by the way they go quiet when I approach them. People are also head over heels excited just because the school dance is tonight. Which is about as stupid as it sounds. I mean who gets excited to be stuck in a stuffy, hot gym with people you cant stand on a normal day, forced to listen to music the teachers probably keep on their iPods…. I wonder if they would know how to use an iPod.
Why am I not surprised that Max is making me go, against my will might I add, and it's making me even more frustrated and angry towards him. As if I needed more stress to deal with but I can't help it. My temper and anger levels just manifest at every single moment of the day and what's worse, is that its now over the little things. I am meant to be meeting Danahi today but I have no idea when, he simply said he would find me. Like that's really helpful to me right now, especially with the out of control way I'm feeling.
I really need to ask about the aggression spell. It helped calm me so fast and so easily previously that I could do with the same assistance before I end up strangling someone.
I'm walking through the hallways on the way to the cafeteria with Max but I keep hearing whispers and seeing heads turn in my direction…. I just want to snap. Max doesn't seem to notice anything is wrong so I guess I'm a good actor. I squeeze his hand tightly as I try to push down some of my anger, but it doesn't work.
"So what do you reckon you will wear tonight?" it takes me a few moments to realise he actually said something.
"Hm what? Oh, um, I dunno."
"Well I really like that blue dress. You know the one that your mum brought you?" ugh I hate that dress. Actually, I hate any dress.
"Yeah, no, well….I don't know. I'll probably just wear jeans or something, I really can't be bothered." Max swiftly turns around in front of me.
"Nope, I don't think so. You're wearing a dress. I hardly see you in one and although you look hot with whatever you wear, I think you should wear a dress." He says with a small smile. Then it falters.
"I mean, I would love to see you in a dress but I guess you don't have to, if you don't want to. It's up to you, if you want to wear jeans or something go ahead I mean you dont have to listen to me I was just…" considering how my moods are lately, I'm a little surprised when I feel a small smile creep to my face.
"Fine, fine yes, I will wear a dress." I tell him and his smile comes back. He pulls me to him, his arms tighten around me waist, completely eliminating the space between us.
"Good," he says darkly and leans in to whisper in my ear. "Dresses are easier to take off afterward." He leans back with a dark look in his eyes. I gasp a little and the more I look at him, the more I like the idea of the dress.
I'm not really hungry lately, so I sit in the cafeteria with Max and sit back watching everyone else shovel down their lunch.
"Hey so, what happened to your friend before? Dave I think it was"
"Oh yea, I think he went back to court." I say tightly hoping he will drop the subject.
"Fair enough, you know he looks like you? It's kind of scary really." He says, taking a bite of a muffin. He does?
"He does? That's kind of weird."
"Yeah I know."
The day passes and I somehow manage not to hit anyone or scream, although I still haven't caught up with Danahi. I haven't had a chance to sit down and read the book but I'm hoping I can look at a few pages before I have to go to the dance.
I'm on my way back to my room and the whispers still continue. People sneak glances at me and continue their whispers to their little pack surrounding them. My anger boils and it takes every ounce of control I have not to turn around and hit the first person I see.
I take deep breaths until I reach my room and once I shut the door I sag against it and fall to the floor. Tears of frustration begin to fall. Why won't this anger go away? I know the sort of magic I have feeds off it but I just want it to stop. Its then I think about what happened to my family because of this, I think about the secrets the Moroi have been keeping just because they were afraid of something different, and my aggression rolls over me again.
I stand back up and get my bearings. I hate them all. I try to push some of it back.
Standing in the bathroom, straightening my hair, I realise that even with all this anger, I haven't had a vision. Now that I figured out its something that can trigger visions I'm surprised none haven't come.
I abandon my hair for a moment and summon some of that anger to see if I can bring on a vision. My fury brews and fills my mind but nothing happens. I feel no fluttering, nothing. It won't work. I concentrate on it for a few more moments but nothing comes. I can't bring on visions anymore. I slump against the wall, trying to figure out why but I can't. I'm going to have to ask Danahi. I remember I was going to have a look at the book before I go tonight.
I fish out my bag from under my bed and grab out the Nesahla book. I run my hand over the cover, trying to get any sort of feel for why my visions won't work. When I open the book, the letter is the first thing I find, I keep turning the pages and all I see is cursive writing, some in Latin, some in English. As I flip through the pages, my odds of finding something that will help me go down. Just before I give up on the book, a page catches my eye, or rather, the title does. At the top of the page the letters curl around each other and it's hard to understand and I can only just make it out.
"Strigoi" is all it says but I can clearly tell it's the spell to create strigoi. I read over the page and memories of my vision pour back to me, of the man tumbling over to his side, the mortal life leaving him and being overtaken by an immortal one. I wonder what it would be like to create a Strigoi, to watch someone die and then have them rise again, completely different but also the same. The same body, just with a different life force running through them.
Realising I've been distracted from my original task I slam the book shut and shove it back under my bed.
Once my hair is straightened to perfection, I put on a little makeup. The only thing I have ever liked about makeup is it makes my eyes look really bright. The blue stands out with just hints on green around my iris. I stare back at my face, I guess I can't really complain with how I look. Bright eyes stare back at me, with a little button nose, a pouty top lip and a full bottom one. I head back out to my wardrobe and fish out the blue dress my mum brought me. This is the only fancy dress she brought me, only being able to afford it because of her job. I don't even want to know how much it cost.
I pull it on, slightly admiring how I look in the mirror. I gotta say, mum did well with this dress. It's the first time I've worn it and considering how much I hate dresses I find myself becoming very fond of this one. It's a tight fitted royal blue, floor length dress.
A little crystal belt sits above my hips but my favourite part is the back. My back is completely bare, the dress drooping all the way to the small of my back and around my hips where it stops. The small straps sit on my shoulders, holding it up.
I'm fixing my hair just as Max walks in the door but stops as soon as he sees me. I turn to him and he is gaping at me.
"What? What is it disgusting?" the slight admiration I felt for myself before has now completely disappeared, my temper returning.
"Of course it is. Never mind I'm going to get changed, I'm not wearing this." I pick up the bottom on my dress and head back into my wardrobe but Max grabs hold of my arm stopping me.
"Oh no you don't. Don't you dare take it off" he breathes out. He's still holding my arm and he pulls me back and holds me at arm's length, his eyes travelling up and down my body. "You look…"
"Horrible, disgusting, ugly" I say to him, meeting his eyes levelly.
"Beautiful. You look absolutely stunning Vienna. Don't take it off." He pulls me to him and I feel a slight flutter in my stomach through the rage I can't really stop. He pulls me closer to him again and slides his hand over my bare back.
"I especially love this" he whispers. My breathing accelerates a little.
"Easy now, we still have a dance to go to." I tell him. I slide my hands over his chest, distracting him even more.
"Are you sure you want to go? I mean we can just stay here and I can admire you in this dress." He says.
"Oh no, were going." I laugh at him.
"So now you want to go? I had trouble talking about it to you before?" he laughs with me. I nod to him. "Fine, we'll go. Then everyone can see how amazing you look." He kisses me on the forehead and we head out.
The ground is a little slippery, so Max has to steady my all the way there.
Now I'm just getting angry at the weather. The room is full of people, all congregating in their little groups passing around gossip. I sigh and look back to Max who is surveying his surroundings.
He gives me a sympathetic look and we head over to a small group of people Max know. I stand beside him, not saying anything. With how much my temper seems to be flaring lately I don't trust myself to say anything. People come and go, some of them I know are heading out to different parties and the like. Though half hour into it, I just want to leave.
"Max can we leave? Please?" I beg him. These people just make me so angry.
"Why? You okay?" he asks and he snakes his arms around me. A teacher who leans against the wall eyes us suspiciously, clearly waiting for us to make out.
"Yeah I just hate being around all these people." I say truthfully.
Looking around again I see people in groups, all being excited over something. It grows slowly as people spread from group to group. Some good gossip must be spreading.
"Please Max, I just want to leave." I plead again. He gives me a small nod and quickly ducks over to the group he was talking to, then returns to my side.
"Come on."
We walk back to my room quietly. For some reason my rage seems to be building again though I have no idea why. My paranoia rises too and I keep glancing around to see if anyone is following us. Max eyes me warily but thankfully he doesn't ask questions. We walk back to my room and the closer we approach the door, the more I feel a sense of dread passing over me. I try to shove the thoughts out, I have no idea why I need to feel that way.
The hallway to my dorm is quiet save for a few raised voices in some rooms indicating little parties taking place. When I reach my door, my dread rises again, as does my paranoia. I feel like someone is watching me.
"Hey Ve, um, I think someone may have tried to break into your room." He says quietly, eyeing off the door that appears slightly ajar.
What? Why would someone break into my room? My panic rises. The book. I try to ignore the feeling that someone is watching me.
"Who knows someone was probably drunk and ran into my door and broke it open." I say loudly in case anyone actually is watching me, but after that I lean into Max.
"Don't, say a thing. Just nod in agreement with me and follow me into my room" his eyebrows crease and he gives an obvious nod and we walk into my room as I shut the door behind us immediately.
"Hey, what's going on?" Max asks I shake my head and quickly run over to my bed, pulling out my bag. I rummage through it and it's empty.
"No, no, no, no, this is not happening." More dread and panic rises. "God dammit" All I can think is Danahi must have taken it.
"What's happening? What's going on Vienna?" I don't have time to get Max up to speed on everything that has happened in the last few weeks but I quickly relay the most important details, namely my visions and the book. I give Max a run down without names and places as the less he knows, the safer he is. I can't tell him about Danahi either, not yet anyway.
I sit back on my bed with my head in my hands. This isn't happening right now. When I sit, I hear a slight crumpling under me. I get up and search through my blankets but I can't find anything though I can still hear the little rumple every time I move something. I then decide to pick up my mattress and feel around the top of my bed frame. I push my mattress up further and Max comes over to help me. While he is holding it I retrieve a piece of paper from under it. When I open it, all I can see are rough scribbles, I can hardly understand it but the more I look the clearer it becomes.
"Vienna, I tried my best to hide you, but it obviously wasn't enough. The guardians found me. I don't know how but they did and it's only a matter of time before they find you. I don't know where you hid the book but I hope to god you put it somewhere where no one will find it, if they do, well, we are all in trouble. I don't have much time left but you need to run. You need to leave and hide. Eventually you'll probably find others like you but for now you need to take care of yourself. They will find you. When you find this you need to burn it, I'm probably no longer alive. They will find me and kill me, I'm sorry I couldn't be any more of use to you, I wish I had of taught you when I had the chance but I'm sure you will find a way to learn our families magic by yourself, you're a clever girl. Be careful and trust no one.
~D"
Danahi didn't take the book, he didn't find it. The guardians found him and Danahi isn't here anymore, he can't help me. I can only seem to come up with one answer as to who took the book. The Guardians. They know about me.