George let out a deep sigh.
This is definitely not how he would want to be remembered, for having the most boring funeral known to man.
"He was an outstanding member of this church for over fifteen years. We will all feel his loss long after he is gone."
"I don't think Uncle Bilius ever went to church," whispered Fred.
"This is the worst funeral I've ever been to," George muttered, hanging his head around his knees. Mum had Percy poke his back and they both gave him stern glares so he would sit up 'properly.'
Charlie was asleep with a piece of drool making its way down his chin. Bill was awake, his unfocused gaze settling somewhere around the pretty fiance of their cousin. Ron and Ginny covertly read a comic hidden between them. Fred had his head tilted back, staring at the ceiling with much concentration.
"When I die, I don't want a funeral," he said.
"Huh?"
"I don't want one. They're boring, filled with church stuff, and everyone has to dress like a bunch of stuffy berks."
"What would you want instead? A party?"
"Definitely," said Fred, a smile on his face. "Uncle Bilius was the best. If he wasn't in the casket he would have walked out by now to get a drink."
"He was a true Christian, filled with charity, love and sobriety," said the parson.
"Sobriety?" said George with a bit of a laugh.
Those of the congregation who were actually paying attention to the never-ending sermon were starting to look around at each other.
"Are we at the right funeral?" he head Dad whisper to Mum. She gave a shrug, then spied Charlie and the drool that was now settling on his left breast pocket.
"Bill, wake your brother up," Mum whispered. He promptly hit his brother in the side with an elbow.
"Amen!" said Charlie, startling from his chair.
Fred and George laughed.