Author's Note: So this is a little one-sided Harry crushing on his teacher. For those of you who don't know the game (it can be devilish, I tell you), Shoot, Shag, Marry is as it sounds; you have three people and you have to shoot one, shag one and marry one.

Minerva/Harry

"Madam Hooch, Madam Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall."

Harry Potter had never played 'Shoot, Shag, Marry" before and he wasn't entirely sure if he liked it, especially not after the Weasley twins started bringing teachers into it; it had been an easy enough decision to shoot Snape, shag Sinistra and marry Sprout, but this lineup was much more tricky. As soon as his head of house's name had been uttered, Harry had to physically try not to blush at the thought of choosing to shag her. The idea of marrying her gave him a similarly queasy feeling.

"That's easy," Fred declared, "you shag Hooch, because that old witch still has mad game, you marry Pomfrey, because she'd take really good care of you, and you shoot McGonagall because she's so tough she probably wouldn't feel it anyway."

There was a general murmur of consensus and Harry was glad that he wouldn't have to make more of a contribution; he didn't trust himself when it came to what he might reveal.

Along in the staffroom, a similar conversation was happening between two teachers.

"Rolanda, I'm not sure this is at all appropriate," Minerva McGonagall said hesitantly.

Rolanda Hooch brushed the comment away with a wave of her hand.

"Shoot, shag, marry," she said, "Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and, ah, one of the Weasley twins."

"They are two different people," Minerva said with a dry laugh, "You know that right?"

"Fine, fine," Rolanda nodded, "Fred then. Ron, Harry and Fred."

"Well, you'd shag Fred, wouldn't you?" Minerva said casually, before a scandalized look came over her face (she definitely hadn't meant to answer that as quickly as she had).

Making the other decision was much harder; she cared about the boys as students and people, but (quite rightly) had never thought about them in any other light. And she definitely had no impulse to kill either one!

"I suppose," she said hesitantly, "that I would marry Ron and shoot Harry, mostly because Harry survived a killing curse, so one would assume that he could survive a tiny piece of metal."

Rolanda grinned.

"He wouldn't like that," she said, with a sly look about her, "I reckon the Potter boy has a crush on you."

Minerva went slightly red.

"Of course he doesn't!" she insisted, but Rolanda shook her head.

"No," the Quidditch mistress said with confidence, "I bet if he were playing this game, you'd be the one he shagged. Or worse, married."

Minerva didn't know how to respond to that. The idea of a student having a crush on her was flattering, she supposed, but not exactly desired. She gave a sigh; it was not going to be easy to look Harry in the eye during Transfiguration tomorrow!