In which we get a chance to see some of Spock's Amazon reviews.

The next "real" chapter to come Monday, when we will finally catch up with Spock, Selik, and the rest of the clan.

Comments always appreciated, if you can spare them.

Cheers

6.

4.283 Stars

i.

1,128 of 1,161 beings found this review helpful.

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(Note that the above image suggests I have given this item a 4 out of 5 star rating; however, in actuality, I award this 'toy' 4.28311 stars. Detailed statistical analysis of my rating is available for those who wish to see it. My wife gave this toy "ten stars", even though I explained several times that that rating did not conform to the 5-star parameter inherent to the system).

This is a review of NebuCore's Body Alive Kit, model 320-X, which I purchased as an enrichment activity for my six year old daughters, who are of Vulcan and human ancestry, but are primarily Vulcan in phenotype. I mention this seemingly irrelevant biological detail because the toy was created by humans for humans, and I was skeptical how well it would suit a more Vulcan learning-style (primarily self-paced with no guide or teacher. All Vulcan toys are self-correcting, even those that are open-ended).

These concerns were not justified, as the toy has served them appropriately.

The Body Alive is a generic model of the interior of humanoid bodies, covering the torso area (heart, kidneys, liver, digestive organs, lungs, pancreas) and the brain. The parts can be moved to mimic the exact systems of various species. The child may then program functions into the toy via a PADD, and the model begins to behave in the fashion of a working body. The body simulates all abled functions as well as disabled functions (diseases, congenital malformations, etc).

My wife worried that the toy would be morbid and "gory" due to its highly detailed design, and insisted I purchase a different toy for our daughters. She was pleasantly surprised to find that, in person, the toy is not at all discomfiting.

She—as she does with all toys we purchase—programmed communication software into the device to alert her when there was any sort of system error or potential danger, such as short circuiting. She noted to me that the code underlying Body Alive was very elegant and therefore easy to alter to tailor the systems for our daughters' use. Though I have not personally tested the truth of her observations, I do not doubt the veracity of her claims. Her work in communications and systems engineering, specifically, cybernetics, is unparalleled and has won her many accolades, grants, and awards.

I bought this toy for my daughters to encourage their curiosity in the life sciences, primarily biology and chemistry. They are voracious learners, and memorize data well, but they have been less intrigued by biology and chemistry because it is frequently less applicable than what they are learning in physics.

In this regard, they take heavily after their mother, in that they tend to appreciate applied, practical sciences. I, too, lean in this direction, but having been the science officer of a starship and as someone who is frequently in contact with unfamiliar beings and environments, I have also learned the value of the life sciences.

My eldest daughter (by 3.21 minutes) has had several moments where she lost her emotional control because the chief medical officer on the ship of our previous posting, Dr. Leonard McCoy, would not allow her to perform simple surgeries. Because she cannot "do" anything with the biological science she studies, she prefers not to learn any of it at all.

The Body Alive allows her to perform surgeries in a situation where the stakes are not a living being's life, and she has found the toy limitlessly enriching and fascinating. My younger daughter still shows no interest in the biological sciences. However, she has used her fascination with electronics to program the Body Alive to "walk" by attaching it to two motorized robotic legs, which for some reason, people find quite terrifying.

My wife would also like to point out the toy is both great for cooperative and single play, though I do not understand why she does not simply offer her own review of the product (perhaps because she is frustrated that she cannot put in "ten stars" — I, too, was frustrated by not being able to put in 4.283 stars).

ii.

843 of 991 beings found this review helpful.

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(Note 1: The above image suggests I have given this item a 1 out of 5 star rating; however, in actuality, I award it zero stars. The system does not allow this option.)

(Note 2: I originally awarded this item approximately 5 stars, but since speaking with my wife, I have revised my opinion. I have left up the original, positive review for the sake of accountability.)

Original Review:

The book My Two Mothers are Klingon Warriors and My Father is a Yet-Classified Light-Based Sentient is a forty-eight page book marketed toward young children with rudimentary language and reading skills, in which the the author communicates data primarily through the use of illustrations. The pictures are colorful and dynamic without exaggerated brightness and contrast, which can hurt young Vulcan eyes. Aesthetically pleasing renderings accompany simple but evocative text.

The purpose of My Two Mothers are Klingon is to expose adolescent beings to diverse family structures in an attempt to normalise a broader range of social systems and behaviours than what a child may be typically exposed to in the home. My daughters are three years, two months, and nineteen days old and understood the message of the book quite well. Our own family is inter-species, and though my children 'pass' as full Vulcans (and they are full Vulcans, in the same way that they are 'full' humans, and fully my daughters, and fully my wife's daughters; there is nothing partial about my offspring), we do come under a small amount of scrutiny if out together in public when passersby can discern that my bonded is human. Curious children walk up to us and pose queries. Curious adults do the same.

This book made my children feel less unusual and targeted, and for that I am grateful.

It is unlikely that I would have purchased this book had my children not been attracted by the image of two Klingon women on the cover and asked for it. I talk to my children candidly about these issues and can provide more context than a short 'picture book.' That said, I do not believe the book has been a detriment to their understanding. It seemingly achieved its stated purpose, to present a variety of families without moral judgment.

Updated/Edited Review:

I hereby retract all positive statements I made about the book My Two Mothers are Klingon Warriors and my Father is a Yet-Classified Light-Based Sentient.

When my wife returned from a short two-week mission on an off-world Vulcan colony, she resumed her part in our family's nightly routine, which involves reading stories to our daughters before they succumb to sleep. Both children requested My Two Mothers are Klingon. Not having been around when I purchased the book, this was my wife's first exposure to it. After reading through the book, she kissed our children good night in an unusually restrained manner, turned off their lantern, then took the book with her as she left their chambers. It is customary for us to leave the book on the shelves. I followed her through the corridors, curious as to her destination.

She threw the book in the garbage compactor located in the kitchen.

I conveyed to her my confusion and uncertainty regarding her behavior. She conveyed to me her negative feelings regarding my judgment on the matter of this book. To be precise, she said, "Why are all of the humans depicted in this book white?"

I admit that I was initially flummoxed by the question. "As well as all the Vulcans? And Bajorans? All of the species with melanocytic skin are white, white, white as marshmallows," she said. I should note that the white sentients illustrated do have some pigment, and are not as white as marshmallows. My wife sometimes utilises hyperbole to make rhetorical points.

I explained that the monophenotypical appearance of the melanocytic characters did not occur to me whilst reading, though now it seems quite obvious.

I cannot in good conscience recommend a book that is meant to normalise diversity that depicts only a narrow range of skin pigments.

I only hope that I have not done lasting damage to my daughters. My wife assures me that this is not the case, so at this time, we will not be seeking psychological intervention to help them work through any negative messages they may have inadvertently internalised based on my oversight. However, I fully understand that many of you may have purchased this book based on my review and now believe that your children require therapy as a result. If you contact me privately, I am willing to reimburse you the full cost of such sessions. I take full responsibility.

iii.

1901 of 2238 beings found this review helpful.

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(Note that the above image suggests I have awarded this item 5 stars. In reality, I do not understand this rating system at all and choose to refrain from using it. Though I understand the necessity of a simplified grading system to convey information quickly to those who do not have time to read each review in-full, I cannot begin to offer a proper rating based on this system without a detailed rubric describing how the stars are levelled.)

This is a review for AstrOs. Note that the seemingly random capital letter in the penultimate position of the word is intentional and not a mistake on my part. I believe that the marketers meant to draw a linguistic link between the 'o' in the word 'astro' and the O-shape of the cereal pieces. It is a pun, though not for comedic effect. Rather, it is meant for aesthetic flourish.

AstrOs is a grain-based cold cereal seemingly devoid of any nutritional value outside of providing calories. I would never have purchased such an item. My father bought it despite the fact that our shopping list specified a much more nutritious alternative, his only explanation being that my daughters requested it.

I thought immediately to throw the cereal away, but my daughters, who are 2.5 years old and just beginning to speak in complete sentences, repeated, "I want that," without cease.

I asked them, "Would you not prefer the more logical choice of nutrient-dense wild millet?"

To which they in unison replied, "No."

You should consider, readers, before purchasing this cereal that the bright graphic renderings on the cover of the box seem to have illogical hold on children's attention.

I had prepared to hide the cereal to use as bird feed, but I turned around to realise my wife was already pouring bowls of it for each of my twins.

I led her out of the room whilst my daughters ate to explain how illogical AstrOs were. She informed me that overly-dictating what children eat can lead to unhealthy relationship with food, and that there is no such thing as an illogical food. If it keeps them full, gives them energy, and they enjoy it, then it is as logical as it needs to be.

I advise all of you who are considering avoiding this cereal after your children personally request it to take heed of her advice. She struggled in the past for many years with eating and has much personal experience with this issue. I did further research, and published studies support her opinion. I can provide links to the articles should you wish to read them.

For now, our children are allowed to eat AstrOs.

The taste is not unappealing.