THE AFTERMATH OF iCARLY

Sam: the top of her 'most awkward moment' list

Welcome to another episode of Awkward Moments of Sam Puckett's Life. Your host, SeddieBenett here, reporting live from the Ridgeway Mall. Accompanying Miss Puckett is the cute Brad, fudge-making legend and also the even cuter Freddie Benson, technological genius. They are having lunch together. Yes, all three of them.

It had to come on top of the list of "Most Awkward Moments" in Sam's opinion. She constantly looked at Freddie and Brad - like some weird tennis match.

"Who knew that you would agree to go dress shopping," teases Freddie.

"Shut up, Fredwart," she retaliates.

"Do you guys still fight like this all the time?" Brad asks, kind of not hoping for a response.

They both looked at one another, not wanting to respond to that question. Things had been, for lack of a different word to be used here, awkward. Awkward indeed. It was the reason that their fighting didn't really have that same bite as it once did. Because things were said... or not said, in Sam's point of view, it was definitely awkward. You could feel the awkward, as she used to say.

Carly wouldn't approve of what was going on. But then again, if they started going out more seriously, she wouldn't approve of that either. Sam sighed, hoping Brad or Freddie didn't see or hear her. Her best friend was hard to please. But seriously... who died and made Carly queen of the world?

"I'm hungry," she says, since no one's said anything in a while.

"The food's coming," replies Brad, with his cute smile. God damn it, thought Sam.

Sam watches Freddie fiddle with a speck of something on his fork, before placing it on the table and straightening it perfectly. The boy had grown a pair in the past week or so. Maybe that was thanks to the "wonderful" Angela. Oh, Angela. Why did she have to be so damned amazing? Sam wanted to punch her beautiful face.

"Hey guys," says Brad, breaking another bout of silence. "Bathroom break, be right back."

"Great."

"Thanks for sharing."

Sam and Freddie spoke simultaneously. Brad leaves them to it for the time being. You'd think that they'd use this golden opportunity to discuss something of value, as in, the thing that Sam wanted to tell him before Brad had asked them about their lunch decision. But that would be something that normal people would do. They weren't normal.

"I hope they bring hot-sauce for the pizza this time," says Sam.

"Why you need hot-sauce for a Hawaiian pizza is beyond me." Freddie responds, chuckling half-heartedly.

"Why you need to be dating some gorgeous, perfect, girly girl is beyond me." It just slipped out. She wasn't even thinking about what she was saying, but his eyes stared at her, unblinkingly.

"Sam-"

"I mean," she continues, cutting him off. "Why would any girl want to date... this mess?" her hand motions around his face, and laughs. He rolls his eyes at her.

So she was very quickly giving up on the whole "perfection" thing before it even began. But she missed this. The playful teasing and just being with him. She somehow could sense that he missed it too. They had spent far too long worrying about whether they should be dating again or not, and not enough time on just being friends. Best friends. Be it a little far-fetched.

Not to say that she didn't not like him. Not to say that he didn't not like her. There were too many 'nots' in there.

"I asked Angela on a second date," he says. If he's waiting for a reaction, she's not going to give him one. "But she hasn't responded to my invite."

"I wonder why that is," she replies, with a cheeky smirk.

"She thinks that you and I still have... feelings for each other."

Sam's smirk drops, and she looks at the random couple on the other side of the café who were a little too close for comfort. She feels her heart race all of a sudden, and her palms grow sweaty and gross. She wipes them on her pants a couple of times, then picks up the glass of water and drains it in one gulp.

"It's really warm in here, isn't it warm...?" she purposely isn't responding to the 'feelings' thing.

"It's true, isn't it?"

Yes! She felt like screaming out, but held back her answer. There was no way she could say it. Not in a million years! The sweaty palms returned with vengeance. It was best to not say anything. Focus on something else, she told herself. Like... ooh, is that a piñata on the ceiling?

"Is that a piñata on the ceiling?" Sam asks, out loud.

"I know you're scared," whispers Freddie. "And I know that we've done it before and it didn't work, but-"

"You know, Brad is taking a really long time... I thought girls took longer in the bathroom..."

"Puckett! God damn it, listen to me!" Freddie yells, knocking the chair from underneath him as he stands up. She has never seen him so determined before. "I still love you!"

The café went suddenly silent.

No. What? No. What? Sam could see that Freddie was just as uncomfortable from his admission as she was.

What the hell, dude? Sam thought, frantically. Just... what the hell? Since when was it okay for a dork to still love her? Since when was it okay for it to be shouted out in front of actual real live people? Since when, in the history of the universe, was it alright for Freddie to still be in love with Sam?

The only thing that Sam could hear at that moment was her heart pounding inside of her ears. You know that feeling when you're terrified? Yeah, that was happening to her right now. She felt like the world had completely stopped moving, time was standing still. Brad, who had entered at the wrong or right time, was now standing right next to the table, eyeing them both.

Freddie stared at her, not saying anything else. Sam could feel everyone's eyes on them all and was going red as a tomato.

"Well this is awkward," says Brad. "Should I leave you two to work out... whatever you need to work out?"

"No!" She didn't want to be left alone with Freddie, if it could be helped.

"Yes." He, as far as she could tell, wasn't about to leave anything unsaid.

Again, the simultaneous response. They had to stop doing that, thought Sam.

Sam looked at Brad, who was now backing away slowly. The silence between them all was deafening. She wondered if he was starting to regret asking her to his sister's wedding. And really, she thought. Why wouldn't he full of regret? He walked into a rabbit burrow of chaos and madness of whatever she and Fredward were becoming. He would be an idiot if he didn't feel like his emotions were being violated right now.

The point was that she didn't want to look at Freddie now, as their moment had long since passed. It wasn't ever coming back. Tension was still hanging around them like a bad smell.

"One Hawaiian pizza with extra ham," announces the waiter, placing the pizza dish down on the table.

"Yay," says Sam, taking her mind off things. "Pizza's here! I love pizza!"

"Oh so you 'love' pizza? You can say THAT?" Freddie yells, rising to his feet once again. She tries her best to ignore him... but fails.

"Hey waiter," calls Brad, making a hasty escape before things get too heated. "About that extra ham..." his voice fades as he disappears after the waiter.

Sam clenches her teeth, and makes fists with her hands about ready to punch the boy across from her right in the throat. Yes, that's how mad she was feeling right about now. What was his problem? Sam thought, with a scowl. In fact, she was ready to say it out loud.

"What is your problem, Benson? You know what, don't answer that. So you still have feelings for me... so what? It's not like it changes anything. And... If you want a full-blown confession, you're not getting one. You should know by now that's not my style. So quit being childish and let me enjoy this here Hawaiian pizza with extra ham!" she takes a breath after it all.

"I just confessed my feelings!" Freddie protests. "Don't I deserve a little declaration of admiration?"

"Do you really want an answer to that?"

The silence drags on, and Sam busies her mouth with a slice of delicious pizza - well it's usually delicious. Today, she realises, it can only taste like cardboard. And she had eaten cardboard. What? School projects made her very hungry sometimes. It was a project on pie. Well, pie charts. To her it looked like a homemade apple pie.

Brad doesn't come back from wherever he scampered off to earlier. Freddie sits there, mulling over everything that has been said. Sam remains completely oblivious to it all as per usual. Lunch is well and truly over. She knows that there's a chance that her "friendship" with Freddie could be well and truly over too. But at least lunch is an ongoing everyday occurrence. A friendship is only as strong as the people included in it are and if the desire to move forward together overcomes any other doubt or fear.

It sounded like a bad version of Dr Phil inside her brain right now.

They walked to the counter, forgetting that Brad may be still inside, and still keeping away from the complete and utter awkwardness. Sam watched as Freddie paid for everything, because she wasn't about to offer. And then they walked out back into the mall. Sam fiddled with the bag that contained her new dress - it was true, she looked kind of smoking hot in it... okay, she looked drop-dead gorgeous. There was no denying it. Damn that Angela and her good sense of judgement! But that was beside the point.

"So that's it," says Freddie, quietly. "You have nothing else to say." It was like he was asking... no... begging for her 'admiration' - whatever that meant.

"I have nothing else to say," she replies, nodding.

"You're really infuriating, you know that right?"

"Don't use fancy words just to make yourself look smarter than me."

"Then give me one reason why we should keep on being friends, and I'll be nice about it."

Sam screwed up her nose in thought. On the one hand, if she didn't answer and teased him for being a dork, she could lose him forever. Uhh, yay? She wasn't sure if she could handle being without Carly and Freddie. On the other hand... no Fredward Benson to make her feel stupid or to make her feel inadequate.

"Carly," she finally blurts out.

"Huh?"

"We have to stay friends for Carly's sake," Sam was secretly impressed that she'd thought of this answer. "It wouldn't be fair on her if we spilt up."

"That's not what I..." his voice trailed off. "Do you have another reason to tell me?"

"No I don't. But..."

"But what?" She could tell he was dubious of her intentions. She didn't care.

"Just. Close your eyes for a sec."