BONUS CHAPTER 5!!!!
dedicated to...
The Gaara Loves Cookies Fanclub in Narutofan Forums!
The couple(s) or character(s) it's dedicated to is/are: GaaOC, KankoOC
A parody chapter in which Gaara and Kankorou meets two gorgeous girls in a bakery... and apply for jobs!
Enjoy!
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♥ Chapter XXIX: Cookie Love ♥
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"Temari. What the heck is that?" Kankorou's eye twitched as he eyed his younger blonde sister, Temari, sit at the kitchen table and gobble up what seemed to be…
… cookies?
"Cookies, bakayaro. What do you think?" she grunted as she stuffed another one in her already full mouth.
"I was just surprised that you ate cookies," Kankorou snorted. "I mean, it's so girly."
Temari spat a piece of cookie at him. "Pch! Baka, cookies aren't girly. Anyway, are you trying to call me a guy?!"
"Ow! Yeah, you are unusually tomboyish… ow! Ow! OW! STOP SPITTING AT ME, DAMN BAKA – OW!!"
"Geez, you're so noisy. What the hell are you doing anyway?" Gaara sighed, as the red-haired eighteen-year-old stepped into the kitchen. "It's just nine a.m., can't you keep it quiet? You'll awake otou-san if you keep making noise like that."
"So what? He deserves to be awakened," Temari said with a muffled voice. "It isn't like he has never awakened us."
"That's not what I meant," Gaara moaned. "I meant, do you really want to torment us – and yourself – by awakening him?"
"Hmm. That's a point," Temari said with furrowed eyebrows as she munched on some more cookies.
"What is it you're eating anyway?" Gaara wanted to know as he eyed her maniac-like eating.
"Cookies!" Temari beamed happily.
"Cookies?" Gaara repeated in disbelief, being rewarded cookie pieces spat at him. "Ow!"
"What is it that is so astonishing with it anyway?" Temari fumed. "Is it a crime for a girl to eat cookies?"
"A girl?" Gaara's left eyebrow arose. "I didn't really know you actually admitted you were a girl – OW!"
"What's this noise this early, my dear children?" a voice boomed from the doorway. "Are you having a row?"
"Oh no," Kankorou groaned.
"No, we're not, dad," Temari said calmly as she began chewing on a new cookie.
"Oh yes, you must!" The man who was supposedly the three siblings' father swept into the room, wearing a white pajama with ducks on. "What else could cause this havoc this early? Huh?!"
"Cookies," Temari replied simply as Kankorou and Gaara backed away from the scene, leaning against the wall to avoid their father.
"Thank God he isn't properly awake yet," Gaara mumbled to his older brother. Kankorou could only nod in agreement.
"Cookies?!"
A vein popped on Temari's head. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT, ANYWAY?"
Silence. A long, long silence that made the two brothers terrified; not only had their sister's wrath awakened, but also –
"Tema-chaaaaan! You're eating COOKIES! Oh, how WONDERFUL! God bless my soul! He has FINALLY heard my prayers! Oh, maybe I can finally have my daughter married and let my soul rest in peace, happily aware that I've grandchildren – OUAFRGH!"
The two brothers backed away some more as they saw their hyperactive father punched to the wall, their sister towering over him, fire blazing in her eyes. "You crazy man," she hissed furiously, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THAT, HUH? YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY I'M NOT GIRLY ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED, HUH?!?!"
"Oh, kami…," Gaara sighed. "Just another normal day, huh?"
---
Temari stared in horror at the jar of cookies.
"… Th-th-th-the…"
Oh, the horror.
"… Th-th-the c-c-c-c-c-coo-coo –"
Kankorou looked anxiously at his younger sister. "What's wrong, Temari?"
"The cookies…," Temari managed to whisper. "…they're… gone."
Silence. Oh, horrific silence.
"THE COOKIES!" Temari yelled. "THE COOKIES! AAAARGH! NOOOO! NOOOO!"
"Tema-chan?" Their father peeked in from the doorway, bandage decorating his head. "What is it you're – UFRGH!"
"What's going on?" Gaara tiredly asked as he stepped into the kitchen, only to find his father cowering with Temari holding a frying pan over his head, several veins popping on her head.
"Temari's cookies are gone," Kankorou explained to his brother.
"YOU! HAVE YOU EATEN THE COOKIES?" Temari demanded, swinging the frying pan dangerously above her father's already bandaged head.
"N-no, Tema-chan," he whimpered. "Please, don't hit me – OW!"
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Temari exploded. "GET – THE – COOKIES – NOW!"
"Tema-chan, I – ow! Ow! Ow! OW! Oh, kami… OW!"
After striking several blows, Temari turned to her brothers, rage still imprinted on her face. Both instantly backed off, but her death glare, that was even worse than Tenten's, stopped them. "You," she snarled, "GET ME THE COOKIES! NOW!"
"H-h-hai! Where did you buy them?" Kankorou asked.
"YOU IDIOT! AT THE BAKERY, OF COURSE!" Temari shrieked, lunging at him with the frying pan. Kankorou miraculously survived by dodging it. "THE BAKERY AROUND THE CORNER! IT'S NEW! NOW, GET ME THOSE COOKIES!"
"Yes, ma'am," Gaara and Kankorou said at the same time before dashing out of the house.
---
"Where was that bakery now again?" Kankorou muttered as he and Gaara proceeded down the street.
"Around the corner," Gaara yawned. "Temari is really insane, isn't she?"
"Aa." Kankorou shook his head. "I can't even believe that that bonehead Shikamaru is her friend… or Tenten and the others, too. I wonder if they've even seen her gone mad."
"They have," Gaara replied. "It's just that their gang is so full of fearsome women, that they aren't really frightened of her anymore."
"Honestly?" Kankorou quirked an eyebrow upwards. "I mean, the bun-head girl is dangerous, alright, but what about Uchiha's girlfriend? And Shikamaru's? I mean, sure as hell they can't be as threatening. And gosh, that Hyuuga kid, it's enough to talk with her to make her faint."
"I've heard from Temari Shikamaru's girlfriend has the same temper as she does. They've lots in common, apparently." He shrugged. "I don't know about Uchiha's girlfriend, though. I mean, she did argue with the bun-head and Uchiha at the Tivoli, didn't she?"
"Yeah, I guess." Kankorou scratched his head. "Oh, we're here."
That was when the two teens saw them.
It was a… divine sight. For the first time in his life, Kankorou could actually admit he had had a religious experience, though he didn't have any religion at all.
"Bonjour messieurs, nous vendons des tartes, gateaux et - " (A/N: Okay, so it is a bit weird that they're saying that when it's quite clear they've just stepped into a bakery, but originally my idea was to make them go around and sell cookies by going to people's homes, but then I changed my mind, but didn't bother changing the scene, because I was afraid you guys wouldn't recognize it otherwise. xD; )
It was Gaara who interrupted the angelic voice. "… Do you've a boyfriend?"
"What?"
The first girl stared, confounded, at him. "Excuse me?"
"… I asked if you have a boyfriend?" Gaara repeated his question. Kankorou couldn't help but look at his brother in surprise. It was the first time Gaara had been acting like this; as a little kid, he had been a stubborn, aggressive child who didn't get along with anybody – least of all beautiful strangers.
But then again, his brother had made some process in social life later on in his teenage years, though still considered somewhat bizarre by others because of his adoration of sand. And also…this wasn't just some 'beautiful stranger'.
Heck, the people in front of them couldn't even be compared to angels. They were simply too pretty.
"Um, no, actually not," the first girl frowned. "But why would you ask that, monsieur?"
The second girl elbowed the first, and then hissed: "Just ignore it, Ayumi." Then she turned to Gaara and Kankorou again, smiling a smile that almost made them drool – quite a rare sight. "What would you like?"
"Er… cookies," Kankorou managed to stutter.
"What kind?"
"… Any kind you have," Gaara quickly answered. "By the way, is it hard to handle a bakery?"
Ayumi and her friend exchanged glances. "Well, actually, it's a bit difficult now in the beginning," Ayumi told him. "Me and Utada need helpers, but we can't really afford any." (A/N: I was lacking names, so I decided to name them after two of Japan's pop stars – Ayumi Hamasaki and Utada Hikaru! I actually prefer Utada Hikaru's music, but Ayumi's name sounds better… oops, sorry for being random…)
"Helpers?" Kankorou was awakened of his trance of admiration immediately. "We could help you! For free!"
Utada smiled amusingly. "You two can bake?"
"Yeah. I cook at home," Gaara proudly announced, which wasn't a lie… but he decided to keep the fact secret that the only thing he could actually cook was ramen, which wasn't exactly his fault, considering Naruto's influence on him, as the hyper blonde was the only one out of the three siblings' friends who actually dared to come visit them.
"Oh. For free? Truthfully?" Utada grinned. "Thanks!"
"No prob," Kankorou smirked back, feeling like a winner. Aaaand Sabaku no Kankorou is the winner of the contest! No surprise, though, he totally DID kick everyone's ass at the competition! He's now crowned as the King of the World and Utada's fiancé…
Oh, quit daydreaming, Outer Me.
"So, what time can you come and help?" Ayumi wondered.
"Well, any time," Gaara swiftly responded. "It's the winter holidays now, so we can just come by any time. We don't have much to do, anyway…"
"Great. How about you come by tomorrow at 10 a.m.? That's when most of our customers arrive. We open at eight, but me and Utada prefer to be alone in the mornings, because we don't really like having too much company around then."
"Okay."
"Now, to your cookies…" Utada stuck her tongue at her new helpers. "You don't honestly mean you're going to buy every kind, do you?"
---
Temari was… surprised. No, not exactly surprised.
Stunned with a capital S fitted better.
"You guys…"
It was not exactly like her brothers to do something like that. No, she corrected herself, it's REALLY something they wouldn't do. It's like… the complete opposite of what they normally do.
I wonder what the hell has happened. Has the world been turned upside-down? No, wait… this can't be right. This must be a dream.
"Hey, Temari," Kankorou greeted, lazily waving his hand as he leaned back in the kitchen chair. Temari's astounded gaze scanned the table. It was COMPLETELY covered in a pile of cookies, of every single sort.
"Guys…" Temari's eyes were filled with tears, and she sniffed as cheesy music out of nowhere began to play: "That's just too nice…"
"Actually, these aren't for you," Gaara interrupted, and Temari's tears disappeared at once – as well as the cheesy music.
"What?" she snarled.
"These are ours," Kankorou added. "If you want any, go buy them yourself."
"Temee wa…," Temari hissed, her eyes a blazing red color. (A/N: Ooh, Sharingan! Just kidding. 'Temee' is a very rude way of saying 'you'.)
"But just as you know, we've bought every single cookie from the bakery, so if you want cookies, go somewhere else," Gaara cheerfully tipped her as he crunched on the corner of a chocolate chip cookie.
"WHAT?!" Temari thundered.
"Why, my dearest children," the three siblings' father said in a sing-song voice as he waltzed into the room with his unhurt leg (as the other was broken due to Temari's rampage), "Why are you making such a fuss about –"
He stopped dead. And stared.
And stared.
And STARED.
Until even Temari wondered, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?! and forgot about her precious cookies.
"Gaa-chan? Kan-chan?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Is that... SAND? Not you too, Kan-chan!!! Oh, kami, another sand-obsessed son - BLFRGH!"
"Urusai, otou-san. And STOP CALLING ME KAN-CHAN! It's cookies," Kankorou irritably muttered as he nibbled on another cookie.
"NANDA?! I SHOULD CALL YOU COOKIES?!"
A vein popped on Kankorou's head. "HELL NO, BAKA! I SAID THAT THOSE ARE COOKIES!"
"... Nani?"
"Cookies, otou-san," Gaara calmly explained, "are a kind of… food. But it's baked, and it isn't really food as it couldn't be used for a meal, unless you buy as much as we have." He gestured at the table, and their father's eyes nearly popped out of his eyeholes.
Then he went silent, and said grievously: "And here I was overjoyed that my daughter had finally become enough girly to become a bride… and then my two sons became so as well – BLFRGHTRSCGH!"
"SHUT UP!" the three siblings thundered as they now stood towering over the poor man, holding one frying pan in each hand.
---
"Ohayou, er…" Utada glanced at them with an apologetic grin. "What were your names again?"
"Sabaku no Kankorou. This is my younger brother, Sabaku no Gaara," Kankorou grinned back.
"Oh. Right." Ayumi paused and put a cake for display on the shelf that could be seen from the window, so that passersby could see it. "So, are you familiar with baking?"
"Well, uh…" Kankorou could feel his face going slightly red.
Utada laughed. "I guessed so. You just came around to help us because you think we're pretty, right?"
"… That's not… exactly… why… uh…" Kankorou's face went even redder.
"What he means is that we partly did this because you are pretty, but we're also doing it because we want to be kind," Gaara supplied casually. "And also, we could have use of it too, as we need to improve our cooking grades."
"I thought you cooked at home?" Ayumi teasingly asked.
"Well, yes, if you call making ramen 'cooking'."
Utada sighed and scratched her head. "Okay… then I guess we've some teaching to do, don't we, Ayumi?"
---
"It seemed kind of easy," Kankorou remarked as the two sisters left the kitchen for them to practice. Gaara shrugged as he began to make rather large balls out of the cookie dough, then making them flat and trying to shape them. Kankorou sweatdropped at the sight of his brother's cookies.
"... Gaara, what the hell is that supposed to be? A bear? It isn't exactly romantic with bears, you know."
"It's a heart."
"... Oh. Um... Jason's heart?"
"Jason is not a bear, idiot."
"But it said so in Fruits Basket!"
"... Since when did you start reading Fruits Basket?"
"What? I mean... I mean Prison Break."
"Either way," Gaara changed the topic, "What do you mean, 'romantic'?"
"Well," Kankorou said as he quirked an eyebrow, "Didn't Utada and Ayumi tell us to think 'romantically', since we're making heart-shaped cookies?"
"Oh. Yeah."
Kankorou smirked. "What did you THINK I meant, eh? Ow!"
Gaara, who had thrown some cookie dough in his brother's face, turned away to hide the red tint playing on his cheeks. "Shut up."
---
"Hmm. Not too bad for your first try," Ayumi commented as she eyed the result of Gaara's and Kankorou's cookies. "But the hearts do look a bit funny, though…"
"Kankorou made them," Gaara spontaneously supplied. Kankorou's face turned bright crimson as he snapped:
"It was you who made them! Don't lie, Gaara!"
Utada giggled. "You two are just too funny. Either way, I guess you might do fine working in a bakery, after all."
"But don't you think it's a bit girly?" Ayumi wondered curiously. "A lot of guys would rather die than show up in a bakery with a pink apron."
"Um… well… no," Kankorou lied. "It's pretty nice, actually."
"You're lying," Utada firmly replied.
"Not!" Kankorou denied immediately.
"Are!" Utada insisted.
Ayumi chuckled. "You did it for us, huh?"
"… Yeah," Gaara responded as the two's siblings continued with their quarrel ("Not!", "Are!", "Not!", Are!").
"Hmm. Well, I guess it's worth a reward. Utada!" Ayumi annoyingly called on her sister, smacking her on the head.
"Ow! What, Ayumi?"
"These two deserve a reward, don't they?"
"I guess." Ayumi grinned. Then she exchanged glances with her sister again. "Do you think what I'm thinking?"
"Go ahead," Utada winked.
And the two walked forward to the puzzled brothers, kissing them on one cheek (Utada kissing Kankorou's, Ayumi kissing Gaara's), then walking off into the kitchen, giggling uncontrollably. Gaara and Kankorou only stared after them in a daze.
"Maybe working in a bakery wasn't that bad after all," Gaara said, and Kankorou could do nothing but agree.
Hmm, I was FAIRLY delighted with how this chapter turned out, but as some of you might have noticed, I'm hardly ever delighted with ANY chapter or fanfic I write. I'm sorry about the extreme delay, but guys, even when it's the holidays, I'm busy! x.x; And tired. Isn't it weird? I've got Writer's Block, too.. and all I can think about is Kingdom Hearts, my Christmas present from my parents! It's the most awesome RPG I've ever played, and though some people just start to laugh at the thought of Disney characters, I think you shouldn't prejudge the game just because it has Disney characters - I mean, it's not directed towards any particular age.
Either way, I'll have to say Merry Late Christmas and a Very Happy New Year to you guys! Actually, I was going to write a Christmas-themed chapter where the girls drag out the boys on a shopping tour, where they meet Naruto's hyperactive parents (yes, more weird parents), but I was thinking that maybe I should trash the idea and just finish the remaining fillers and go on with the actual plot.
Also, my profile hasn't been updated for a while, but I'm going to update it soon, for those who actually go check what's up and why I'm updating so slow xD;
Reviews Corner (holy shit, 750 reviews! We're getting close to 800! KEEP ON REVIEWING:D)
Because I don't have a lot of time to answer all reviews now, I'm thinking of just answering a few questions that maybe you guys wonder about? More like a... Q&A part of the story.
Q: Has the story ended?
A: No, it hasn't; it's just a period of bonus chapters, or 'fillers', as you may call it too. As some of the readers are tired of too much drama, I bring you some humor and fluff instead. :) There're actually two chapters left of the actual story, while there're about three, or four bonus chapters left.
Q: What's this about a sequel? And which plot have you decided on?
A: Because of this fanfic's unexpected popularity (not to brag, but... :D), and my gratefulness for all the reviews I've received, I've decided to write a sequel! And which plot? Heh, it's a secret... (no, actually, I haven't decided. xD)
Q: Why are you updating so slowly? Why can't you update every three days like you did in the beginning of the fanfic?
A: I don't know why, but I'm getting Writer's Block more and more often, and those times I don't, I'm often rudely interrupted by my parents who want to use the computer. Also, I'm very busy IRL. I hope you guys don't mind...
Q: When do you play on ending the fillers?
A: Well, there're a few left. I'm enjoying writing these, actually, because they don't really have anything to do with the main plot (but, beware, some characters in the bonus chapters, or their actions, might be of importance in the sequel). The 800th reviewer, though, will not receive a bonus chapter in this fanfic, but in the next one. However, the bonus chapters will ALWAYS appear at the end, so the 800th reviewer will have to wait some time xD;
Q: What's up with James? Why is he being so perverted, when he's so good-looking and can get girls anyway?
A: Well, my original plan was to just make James a nuisance, following Sakura around, so Sasuke can be jealous, but he ended up being downright evil - that's how he became perverted. And well, his attitude keeps the girls away. You've just see his 'romantic', perverted side; but before Sakura came to Paris, he was arrogant and loved to brag about every single 'deed' he had done, and he was also highly competitive when it came to other hot guys, such as Sasuke, for example. Besides, girls were more likely attracted to Sasuke than to him to start off with, so he didn't have many fangirls.
Q: Whatever happened with Daiki? Did he ever find out that Cindy was cheating on him?
A: Well, no. What happened? Heheh... who knows? -smiles evilly-
Q: What happened with James and Hikari?
A: Ah... another unsolved mystery. Hmm, as I said before, who knows? -evil smirk widens-
Q: What's up with the Inners and their iPods?
A: I'm quite a fan of iPods, as I have one myself, and well... what are the Inners supposed to do when their Outer Selves are controlling the actions? Well, when they don't brainstorm or rant or give advice or talk to the Inners nearby, they listen to music or sleep. That's about it.
Q: What will the SUFC do now when Sasuke has a girlfriend?
A: Continue to worship him. They all hate Sakura, but because she's Sasuke's girlfriend, meaning she's important to Sasuke, according to the rules of SUFC, she is also important to them (Rule 101: Whatever is important to Sasuke is important to us as well), and because they want to get in touch with Sasuke, they're also doing their best to 'befriend' her, so they can 'befriend' Sasuke. Unfortunately, that plan doesn't really work, because both Sakura and Sasuke dislike the club.
Q: Why is Sakura's aunt such a bitch?
A: She really isn't. She has a very rough way to show her love - she really does care about her niece, but the behavior in the beginning was just because she thought Sakura was too spoiled for her own good, so she tried to make Sakura see how 'true life' was. Her rough and tough attitude was just to show Sakura everything wasn't always going to go her way.
Q: How old is Cindy, and where does she live?
A: Cindy is 18 years old, like Sasuke, Sakura and everybody else; she lives in the US together with Daiki. They're both 18, but since Daiki is an Uchiha, meaning he's rich, he has a private villa in the US in which he and Cindy lives together, despite being only girlfriend and boyfriend.
Q: Do you hate Anko? Because you did bash her in the previous chapter.
A: I don't hate Anko. I don't really like her either. She's just neutral for me; but it was just to give Kurenai some competition. You know, since Asuma and Kurenai are/were officially together in the manga (oops, sorry for the spoiler!), I kind of figured they could be that too in the fic (but right now, they're not even dating), meaning Kakashi has competition. But it'd be unfair if Kakashi was the only one, since he seems the one to be clear about his feelings, while Kurenai is the more doubtful one. That's why I came up with the idea of having Anko being part of this, but in order to make Kakashi and Kurenai a couple... you have to make some sacrifices. XD Just kidding.
Q: Why is Sakura going to leave now when the mess is gone?
A: Her parents want her to come home (or rather, her mother and stepsister want her to come home). Since she already was on the way home that day, they think it's just fair that she comes home now when she has already promised.
I hope the questions were helpful for those who wondered. xD; Now I've really gotta go, but please review, minna! And ARIGATOU FOR THE REVIEWS!!!
Also, rebel-girl, you've to request your bonus chapter soon, or else your bonus chapter will be given to someone else! (And if nobody claims it, I will make it my own)
Coming Up Next...
The 6th bonus chapter, The Key to Victory! You Aren't Alone, requested by silverdragon994, a tribute to NejiTen!
What are three important things to remember when you're dating someone? One: Don't force your date to do anything he doesn't want to do!...
"Gomen, Tenten-chan, I can't go. I have a date with Naruto-kun..."
Suddenly, a voice interrupted them. "Hey, I'm fr-"
Tenten turned towards her boyfriend that was approaching them, her eyes fiery and threatening. "NEJI, I SWEAR IN KAMI'S NAME THAT IF YOU DON'T COME ALONG, I'LL FRIGGIN' KILL YOU WITH MY NOTEBOOK."
"Uh... okay... I was just about to say I was going to come anyway... but don't kill me, please?"
... Two: Be polite and sweet. Try not to be too dominating...
"I want to eat a hamburger!"
"But c'mon, Tenten, the noodles are really delicious. I promise, you'll absolutely LOVE them -"
"I. Want. Hamburger. NOW."
"... O... kay..."
... and last but not least, Three: Don't reveal too many shocking secrets at once. Reveal them to your boyfriend pleasantly and slowly, so that he won't be scared off.
"Neji..."
"Nanda?"
"... Nobody's at home."
"So what? You've got keys, haven't you?"
"... Er... actually..."
"NO. Don't tell me. You -"
"- forgot the keys in the girls' changing room at school, yeah."
"But can't you sleep in anybody else's house? Like... Sakura... or somebody..."
"Well, uh, Ino's parents are throwing this party for the staff of their company or something, so it'd be weird if I turned up there and just asked for a room to sleep in. Sakura's aunt doesn't have a spare room, because her aunt's friend is visiting from Marseilles or whatever. Hinata's off on a date with Naruto, isn't she? So I can't disturb her. That leaves..."
"... me?!"
Don't miss the next chapter of This Is Not My First Time! Scheduled to come in two weeks... or hopefully earlier!