AN: This one is shorter, by a lot, than the last one. I just couldn't help but think of this. My family has the same conversation every Christmas! It's tons of fun to joke about it whenever we hear "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" on the radio.

Santa Claus

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why

Santa Claus is comin' to town.

Ronon exchanged a glance with Teyla, who had the same look on her face he was sure was on his. They couldn't help but frown. Sheppard and McKay were playing Christmas Carols, trying to give them the 'Christmas Experience', as they put it.

"And you like this holiday?" Ronon asked.

Rodney grinned. "Oh, it's one of our favorite on earth," he promised.

"This Santa is a fat guy in a red suit who gives kids presents, right?"

"That's him," the scientist agreed with a smirk on his face.

"And you sing songs about him?" Teyla couldn't help but ask.

"We call them carols, but yeah," Sheppard agreed.

"And you encourage this?" Ronon added.

"Of course."

"He doesn't creep out any of your children?" she wondered.

"No, they love him. Write him letters, asking him for gifts and stuff."

"Kids'll stand in line for hours just to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they want for Christmas," Sheppard added.

"But didn't the song say 'He sees you when you're sleeping'?"

"Yeah," they agreed.

"Sounds more like a stalker to me," Ronon grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Please, that's…" Rodney froze, a spoon sticking out of his mouth. A half-eaten jell-o cup sat in his hand. "Oh my gosh… That's so true. He is a stalker. Oh gosh! Santa's a stalker!"

Sheppard raised his eyebrow. "You just thought of that?" he wondered.

"Well, yeah. Before I didn't stop to think about it."

"Everyone knows he's like the biggest stalker," the Colonel continued, "He was the first professional stalker."

"And yet you encourage such behavior?" Teyla wondered.

"He gives free gifts," the man reasoned, "Why not?"

"That's a dumb reason," Rodney argued, "That's like going with a stranger because they offered you candy."

"Hey, I accepted plenty of candy from strangers as a kid. It still tasted fine, just as good as stuff my parents gave me!"

McKay shook his head, a hand on his forehead. "He's hopeless. Absolutely hopeless."

"John, isn't it unwise to accept things from strangers?" Teyla reasoned.

"Hey, Ronon accepted all kinds of help from strangers when he first became a runner," he argued.

"Yeah, and the Wraith came and destroyed them because of it," the man added.

"Well, nothing like that happened to me."

"We also don't have hand-vampires on earth," McKay added, taking another bite of Jell-o.

"You're just jealous that I got candy and you didn't," Sheppard decided, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's ridiculous," Rodney complained.

"I knew it!" the Colonel cheered at the look on his team mate's face. Then, he swiped a bite from the Jell-o cup and walked off before McKay began to yell at him.

He vaguely heard the complaints start as the door closed. He smirked smugly as he walked off.

AN: Now I feel complete. I have written a SGA fanfic. Oh, the wonderfulness of it all! So yeah, review and tell me I did horribly (And how to improve) or that I did great. So yeah, MERRY CHRISTMAS! (And a happy new year!)

-RADyo