10 Tips for your semi-alive Gargoyles

1. Forget them. Leave them on Notre Dame and move onto other things.

2. Buy a few garden gnomes, they are much more useful.

3. Steps 4- 10 do not exist.

10 Tips for adapting your Bellringer to a Canadian Winter

Quasimodo may really like a Canadian winter, since the extreme cold and biting wind will allow him to cover his face and essentially hide under a giant mass of thick, fluffy gear. This will tell the world he's not a Canuck, yet will allow him to wander about without feeling so self-conscious about what he'll never be able to change. Just how do you set up your favourite Bellringer for -40c and lower? How will he survive -50c wind-chill? Follow this handy guide to learn how.

1. Your sewing machine is your best tool. Having mastered basic t-shirts and possibly a jacket, your greatest challenge now lays ahead. Winter clothing is thick, heavy and not easily altered. Buy needles and thread intended for sewing horse blankets and leather. Do not start the jacket with an actual horse blanket - the Bellringer will certainly die a little inside if he sees this. Regular black "Duck" brand clothing may be your best start. Buy for the largest man possible - 5X does exist - so there is room for alteration. Your skill on the machine will determine how much you'll be able to do.

2. Knitting and crochet are very useful, yet dying arts. Many grannies are wonderful people. If you lack your own grandmother, rest her gentle soul, there are other grandmothers that would likely be thrilled to make socks, scarves, hats, sweaters and mittens for your Bellringer. Most of these grannies would be happy just to have someone play chess with, tell stories to and to bring them yarn shopping. Be prepared to spend a lot of money on wool and synthetic yarns. If the granny is very special, she will be able to make gloves that fit, as well as enjoy the company of the Bellringer. Hugs to all the grannies!

3. Gloves will be impossible unless you have access to the most skilled of grannies, or if you are quite skilled yourself. Mittens are thus the best option. Ensuring the cuff of the mitten stays on his forearm will be difficult at best.

4. A snowsuit will never fit on the Bellringer. Don't even try it. It may work in fan art but that is where it ends. Besides, a snowsuit is essentially an adult onesie. Quasimodo is better than that.

5. The standard, and sexy, "Hoser Hat" that many of us enjoy will be a stylish accessory that Quasimodo will very likely want to add to his wardrobe. Due to his short neck and unique chin, this will be an item that you will have to make for him. One of your many older hats should be modified to make a fitting prototype. Use the modified hat to make a fashionable new one with oilskin, quilt batting and wild bunny fur for an authentic and warm hat.

6. Lederhosen isn't a word that one thinks of in relation to winter clothing. To keep the straps of an winter overall / snow pant in place on sloping shoulders, a few extra horizontal straps will save a lot of discomfort. Nylon webbing, commonly used in making horse harness and backpacks, will keep the overalls in place. Use the snaps commonly found on backpacks.

7. When the wind is cold, the Bellringer will want a scarf to keep his face from freezing and to cover up everything but his eyes. Let him. Winter is his only chance to do so and it might help him become more social in the long-term. Also, frost bite is serious.

8. A hoodie is easier than a toque for keeping the head & ears warm on the milder -20c days. Also, the pompom looks ridiculous and Quasimodo knows it just as well as you do. Give the pompom to the cat to play with and the toque may be wearable.

9. Even Northerners get cold feet when the temperature dips. To keep your Bellringer from having frozen toes, go straight for the -100 rated boots. Whether Celsius or Fahrenheit, it doesn't matter when it's that cold. Wide calf is the only way to go. Moccasins are a must-have for indoors. Trace his feet and make his moccasins out of the moose hide you've been saving for that special occasion. This is that occasion.

10. Even if, after being covered in gear from hunch-to-toe, your Bellringer is feeling self-conscious, there is a place where no one will care about his appearance at all. Put a jersey on him and go to a hockey game. As long as he's wearing the right colours, and he doesn't get upset about the fighting, he'll just be one of the crowd. Ensure he is holding an extra-large Tim Hortons cup. It doesn't matter so much what is in the cup. If anyone asks about his left eye or what happened to his face, say he was hit by a puck. This will immediately turn the conversation positive.

Hopefully your Bellringer enjoys the winter while it lasts. It's short, a mere six months, thus you and him must make the most of it. Enjoy winter sports when you are able and play in the snow.

For more useful tips, please look for the following guides:

- Gingers are people too

- Advanced sewing tips - making a plaid shirt for the Bellringer

- How to thaw a frozen Bellringer