Doctor's Training

Chapter Two

Constricting Control

Ichigo groaned loudly as Urahara fussed with his clothes. He hated this so much. He hated the fact that he was going out onto a stage, in front of people, in front of a camera for godsakes. He was unconsciously clenching and unclenching his hands until he felt a stress ball placed in one of them. He was thankful, silently, to have Urahara there. His dad wasn't able to come because he was on rounds.

A far too bubbly woman with blond hair leaned into the dressing room. "Ten minutes, Dr. Kurosaki!"

"Ah, Kisuke, how can I do this? I seriously can't do this," he said, squeezing the stress ball almost hard enough to pop it.

Urahara pulled down at the plain black and blue striped t-shirt and adjusted the black jeans. They'd decided to go with a dress that emphasized his youth to make the impact of what they were doing even greater. "You know this is what needs to happen. Every time you end up with a confrontation with a patient, you are getting more and more stressed."

Ichigo let out a long breath. He was right. He was right. He had to do this. He had to get through this.

"Look, just ignore everyone except the host. He's not there to embarrass you, he's there to find out about your life and what you've been through. You have nothing to hide and I've provided him with pictures and documents to show the audience to back up what you say. Stick to answering his questions, and don't go on any tangents," he advised, shuffling the young man to beside the curtain.

Ichigo chewed nervously at his thumbnail again then stopped. No chewing his hands. An infection in the nail bed would reduce his dexterity. He took a long shuddering breath. He looked at Urahara.

"Kisuke, squeeze me before I go out," he said softly. "I know dad usually does it, but I need it now or…"

The older doctor pulled him into a very tight embrace, only letting go when he felt the younger man relax a bit. He pushed him back. "Better?"

"And now, let's welcome our first guest, in his first live appearance ever, Dr. Ichigo Kurosaki!" the man at the desk said, grinning impossibly wide. He was tall, and his name was Shinji. No other name, his show was Shinji At Night. And for some reason, he was incredibly interested in Ichigo.

Ichigo swallowed, nearly tripping as he walked out on stage, smiling nervously as he shook hands with the blond haired man and sat down in the seat, squeezing the stress ball almost manically.

When the applause died down he grinned at him. "So, welcome, Doctor! I understand that you prefer a little bit of order to our interview, so let's start out with some facts about you! Tell us how you became a doctor!"

Ichigo nodded. "My father is a pediatrician, and I suppose it was always going to be my calling. I started reading his medical journals when I was about six or seven I think. I was fascinated by the brain at that time. I guess that's what led me to neurosurgery."

"Folks, I'd like you to understand that he started reading medical journals at six. Now Dr. Kurosaki, how is it that you could do that?" Shinji said, leading the questions just as they had scripted. Ichigo let out a slow breath. It wasn't too bad so far.

"Well, at the time, my dad just thought I was a little advanced in reading, but he noticed that I was understanding the journal articles. When I was eight I was failing school miserably, and was picked up for special education testing. It was through the testing they discovered that my problem was that the material was too simple, and I needed to be advanced. I was also transferred to a special school, and graduated at 12 with my high school diploma. I finished my pre-med in two years, to get my first degree at 14," he said, reciting the script perfectly. He had practiced it so many times the last week over.

The audience was a murmur at the information. "You mentioned testing, I assume one of those was an IQ test?" Shinji asked, leaning forward.

Ichigo's eyes flicked up at him. This wasn't in the script. "Um, yes, I test in approximately the range of 190 but it is possible that it is higher just untestable by conventional means."

"That implies that normal testing isn't effective on you. Why is that?"

Ichigo's eyes widened. This really wasn't on the script, but the information was complete in the book. "Well, um, like it details in my book, I have high functioning autism, mild, obviously, but because of that, there is a possibility that my brain differentiations make my IQ testing somewhat difficult."

Shinji leaned forward. "Really? And how does that affect you? This Autism, I've heard it is nearly a sentence of intellectual inferiority…"

Ichigo bristled. "It most certainly is not. Unless you are going to count Einstein among those inferiors. Many people have incredibly talented minds and are able to accomplish much if given the time and the patience."

"Oh, folks, I think we've hit a sensitive part of Dr. Kurosaki's life! Please, doctor, tell us how you've learned to cope with this…disorder."

Ichigo gritted his teeth. "It is no more of a disorder to me as having blonde hair is to you. I think differently, to put it simply. I sense things more sharply and it gives me the ability to completely focus in on surgery and calculate hundreds of variables in my head at the same time."

The blonde arched a brow at his visibly annoyed guest. "Ah, yes, well, the obvious reason you are agreeing to interviews is due to the book coming out in the next month, which will be available…" Shinji ranted for a bit about the book while Ichigo focused on his breathing, his hand tapping against his thigh. The show went to commercial and he looked up to see Shinji staring at him.

"Hey, I'm sorry, man, didn't mean anything by it, just surprised, they didn't get me an advance copy of the book…" Shinji said with a sheepish smile.

Ichigo bit his lip. "Yeah, I understand. But you went off script and that's not easy for me to handle in front of all these people."

"I am sorry, though. We'll chat a bit more about growing up and show some pictures and your certificates when the commercial comes back, then you can scoot over while the next person comes out."

Ichigo's eyes went wide. "I can't leave when I'm done?"

Shinji snorted. "Well, I guess you could but it would be awkward explaining to the audience…"

He nodded. "Okay, but I can just sit there, right?"

"Of course!" He turned back to the cameraman who was holding up a five countdown on his hand.

"And welcome back! Let's see some pictures of our favorite surgical prodigy that his father was so gracious to provide us with!" The slides moved forward, showing Ichigo at twelve holding his high school diploma, then at fourteen with his first degree, followed by the rest. He showed a picture of him in surgery, and several others wearing his surgical equipment.

"Folks, this young man is phenomenal! Twenty three years old and already well ahead of most of the men and women in his field thirty years his senior! Please give him a hand! Up next we have the amazingly talented Renji Abarai!"

Ichigo scooted over during the commercial break, nervously fingering the stress ball. He really, really hoped that the guy didn't talk to him. Soon enough, the commercial break ended and Shinji introduced that man again. From behind the curtain a man with brilliant red hair tied up in a high spiky ponytail stepped out. He was wearing an extremely tight pair of leather pants and a leather vest that showed of his incredibly toned muscular chest and zig zagging tattoos that covered him from head all the way to his waist. He waved cheerfully at the crowd and shook Shinji's hand and sat down with a fwump and literally sprawled all over the couch, his leg coming uncomfortably close to Ichigo's.

"Renji, welcome back! This time, you've got even more clout behind your name!" Shinji purred, leaning forward to place a fist under his chin.

The red head smiled. "Yeah, so it seems, things 'ave been workin' out well! The booming movie biz around here has kept me very busy!"

Ichigo had no clue who the guy was, but eventually put together he was some kind of film star. He played in a lot of movies but wasn't a headliner or anything. Ichigo concentrated on his stress ball, holding it between his leg and the arm of the couch and squeezing it furiously, trying to keep a neutral face. He hated this feeling of complete…whatever this was. Eventaully they went to commercial and the guy turned to him.

"Heya, Ichigo was it?" he said with a grin.

"Umhum," he said nodding, glancing up at him then back to the floor.

"Whatsamatter wit' you anyway? Don't like me?" he said, a smirk covering his lips.

Ichigo looked up and frowned. "I can't like you nor dislike you as I don't know you."

"Huh, well that was a new one. Whatcha think of me so far anyway?" he said, leaning toward him, a glint in his eye.

"Too forward, brash and quite full of yourself, would be my assessment at this point in time," Ichigo said, feeling his nails dig into the outside of the foam ball.

Renji leaned back. "Well, you don't beat around the bush."

Ichigo frowned. "Bush?" he said looking confused for a moment. "Oh," he said, remembering that it was a metaphor. "Metaphorical bush."

Renji looked away as the interview continued, showing Renji in one of his recent scenes, a very naughty looking sex scene with a famous actress that Ichigo forgot the name of. Ichigo watched it intently and then glanced at the red head who was giving him a funny look. He arched a brow at him and shook his head, resuming his squeezing of the stress ball.

Finally the credits were rolling, and they were waiting for the camera to cut out. After an eternity it did and Ichigo leaped to his feet, ready to dash in the back when a hand encircled his bicep and he started, turning to stare at the offending hand, following it up to the smirking red-head. He scowled at him.

"Hey, you wanna go for drinks after the show wit' my crew, Ichi?" he said with a wide grin.

Ichigo was frozen unsure what to do about the hand on his arm. It was all he could concentrate on, the stress ball in his hand starting to burst at the seams from the pressure when Urahara came up and grabbed him by the arm.

"Come on, you have rounds tonight, remember?" he said, sending a frown in the direction of the red haired man holding his arm. Renji shrugged and let go as the weirdo blonde in the funky white and green bucket hat led the kid away.

"Man, the fuck dude, that boy is smokin'," Renji muttered. "You sure that shit's legal, cuz man, he don't look older than fuckin' sixteen…"

Shinji giggled. "Nope, twenty three. And I think that kid is probably the most stressed out person I've ever had on this show."

Renji looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

"Ren, man, think about it. The kid has gone through like thirty years of school in like ten. Can you imagine how much of a childhood he didn't have? And he never got to be a teenager from what his file read. Pretty much straight into college and then to medical school, never stopping to do any really normal things. Top of that he's got his thing, that autism stuff, and I didn't really go into the problems with his gross motor coordination…" Shinji said, glancing over his notes.

"Gross motor? The fuck dude, speak English," Renji countered.

Shinji sighed. "He didn't like walk until he was two, and still goes to therapy, it seems. But he was so nervous about bringing up his autism shit that I didn't even go there. I heard he was brutally honest, but man, he pegged you right on…" Shinji said, breaking in giggles again.

Renji rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, he knew me for like fuckin' half an hour, most of which I wasn't talkin' to him. You heading to the club tonight?"

Shinji grinned. "Oh, you still cruising for a partner? I thought you and that little gal with the dark hair were gonna go for it."

Renji shook his head. "Nah, she's collar already. But no matter, I'd rather have something more edible, like strawberry…" he said, looking where the doctor had gone.

"Seriously? That boy is oblivious! I doubt he's ever jacked himself, let alone let someone like you...well, do what you do!" Shinji said with a grin.

Renji grinned. "Ah well, you know me, always got my eye on tha hard ta get ones. You meeting yer girl there? She finally gonna play our games?"

Shinji smiled. "Finally! I got her fuckin' brother to turn her on for me, took forever to get her into it, but no 24/7 for her, she ain't that kinda girl. But damn won't she look good in that outfit I got for her. She said she'd try it, but only if I kept it light. So she's coming, but she ain't inta the public displays like the others. Nel is just too sweet, though. I want to make her so naughty before I'm done…"

Renji cocked an eyebrow. "Only you would go out and find a woman who isn't into the lifestyle and turn her into your own dom. I still can't believe you. Man. I offered…"

Shinji shook his head. "Nah, man, I want a woman. And you sure as hell don't look like one."

"Hey, what's her brother think, I mean, if she gets into it, I mean," he said.

"Then ask him, he's coming with her tonight. I get the feeling he's a bit more experienced in it than we thought. Oh, and I'm bringing a switch with me," he said, suddenly remembering.

Renji grinned. "A new switch? Hum. Girl or boy?"

"A guy, and he's built about like that doctor kid. You might get yer rocks off on him since I doubt you'll ever get that boy," he said with a grin.

Renji snickered. "I love a fuckin' challenge. I bet you a week that I can get him under me within three months' time."

"A week?" Shinji said, thoughtfully. "Make it two weeks, and we'll go for it. Work out the details after you lose."

"Like hell, bastard," Renji said as they headed out together.

-Doctor's Training-

"Kisuke," He whined. "That was horrible; please tell me I don't have to do that again!"

Urahara rolled his eyes. "You did great! And the only interview I have scheduled is a private interview on camera and one with a magazine. After that, I don't have any others on the slate for now. Now what was so horrible?"

"He jumped of script!" he growled.

"Ichigo, we've talked about this. You've got to get over wanting to control everything around you at all times. Sometimes you just can't," Urahara said with a sigh.

"Sometimes I'm so tired of it," he said softly, his head thumping into the cool window of the car. Urahara looked over at him, frowning. "I feel like I wound up all the time, you know, like I'm going to just explode. I swear, I need another surgery to get my mind straight."

Urahara nodded absently, wondering what would help him. "What about a vacation, huh, Ichigo? Get out of town or something?"

Ichigo shook his head. "Nah, I gotta be at the hospital until that Inoue girl is discharged. Her radiation therapy is going fine, and she should be released after I clear her next week. And you know I don't like going out of town at all."

"What about in town? Like a club, like that red haired guy suggested?" Urahara asked, really wondering where he was going with it.

"Too many people," he said and closed his eyes. It was getting close to late afternoon, and he had to go check on his latest patient and see how she was.

The rest of the ride was silent and he headed up to the lockers to change. Once in his scrubs and his coat he headed out, nearly tripping into his dad.

"Oh my most talented and picture perfect son, how did the TV interview go?" he cooed, grinning like a madman.

"Shut up, goat face, watch it on TV," he snarled as he ambled away, tripping again over nothing.

Urahara came up behind the elder Kurosaki. "Kisuke, I'm worried about him," he said softly.

"Yeah, he's burning out fast. His tics are back, he's self-stimulating every time he can, and his anxiety is shooting through the roof. He almost destroyed the stress ball I let him take onto the interview couch, and about snapped at the host when he went off script," Kisuke said with a sigh.

Kisuke Urahara knew exactly what was happening. He himself was an administrator now, but his specialty had been pediatric psychiatry and he had practiced as a developmental pediatrician, in fact, the one that Ichigo started seeing at around one year of age. Ichigo had never needed medications to regulate his symptoms, but if he kept going, that would change, and if that changed, he wouldn't be able to perform surgery, especially if he headed down this road. Anti-psychotics tended to limit one's ability to perform neurosurgery.

"Maybe a girlfriend?" Isshin offered softly.

Urahara sighed. "Tatsuki's been trying to get his attention forever, Isshin. Are we even sure he likes girls?"

Isshin thought for a moment. "I don't know, he's awkward around both genders. But he needs something to cling to at the end of the day. I don't like seeing him like this."

In another part of the hospital, Ichigo sneezed violently and shook his head. He knocked on the door, and entered Orhime's room. She was sitting up talking to Nel and Grimmjow. Ichigo smiled as best he could and grabbed the chart.

"Are the headaches going away?" he asked, looking up at the girl, her head still wrapped with white bandages.

She smiled. "Yeah, and they said I could go home next week! There's no sign of the tumor, I'm just amazed, there were three doctors that swore it was inoperable!"

Ichigo nodded. "It happens like that. But I'm glad I could help you."

He checked the IV lines and her last vitals in the chart and was thinking when he felt her hand brush against his hand. He blinked staring at the hand, just as he had the guy's hand at the show and frowned.

"Do you need something? I can get a nurse if you need something," he said, glancing up at her face, noticing a blush spreading across it.

He blinked when she didn't say anything and moved to the end of the bed, replacing the chart and bowing a bit. "Well, let me know if you have any questions, Tatsuki will be around tonight!"

Orhime frowned, and glanced at her friends. Nel patted her leg. "Hey, maybe he's just shy too, but he is awful cute! Take it slow and easy!"

Grimmjow snorted. "Yer one to talk, sis. You and Shinji just hook up a week ago, and yer already all over him and going to that club tonight."

Now Nel blushed. "Well, he's really sweet, and he's a TV star! Oh, now that I think about it, that doctor did an interview with him today, and guess who else was on there? Abarai!"

Grimmjow smiled. "Well, isn't that funny, wonder if that bastard moved on the kid, and that's why he's so fuckin' jumpy…"

Nel shrugged. "I think Shin would have called and told me if he did. You know he can't keep from gossiping about that stuff."

Just then, Grimmjow looked up to see the young doctor having a heated discussion with the nurse. He was obviously agitated. He watched as he started drumming his fingers against his thigh repeatedly, harder and harder until the dark haired nurse grabbed his hand. He shook her away and Grimmjow pushed the door open enough to hear the conversation.

"Ichi, come on, you gotta calm it down and quit doing that, you're making the patients nervous." She said softly.

"Tats, you know well I can't…I'm just…argh. I'm going to the roof and rock, okay, I just have to do something, and…just…if you see Kisuke send him up. I don't think I can deal with patients the rest of today, it's just too fucking much, okay? I feel like my goddamned head is going to explode, okay…" His hands started thrumming against his chin and he rocked back on his heels.

"Okay, okay, I'll cover, go upstairs, and work it out, okay? Do what you have to do. Was it that interview?" she said.

He nodded vigorously. "Fuck, fuck, yes, fuck. He went off script and messed me up."

"Shh, watch your mouth down here," she said, frowning.

He glared at her. "You know I can't fucking control it. I'm going up."

He turned on his heels and almost ran for the door. Grimmjow watched him go and the exasperated sigh from the nurse. He slipped out, and casually followed him, catching up when he got to the stairs, realizing that it took him a bit to navigate them. He was quiet and heard the key in the roof access and the door swung wide. He grinned, catching it and slipping out before the self-locking door closed behind him. He peered around a concrete divider to see him leaning back against a half wall that ran in the middle of roof, rocking his body back and forth, hands interlocked over his head. His face was almost blissful at the action. Then he wrapped his arms tightly around himself and continued the motion. Grimmjow moved around when he heard the door open and a blonde doctor came out.

"Ichigo, you've got to get yourself under control. I can't have you snapping at patients, you know that," he said, staring. "You're ticking and stimming again. What's got you worked up?"

He looked up. "Fuck, Kisuke. I don't know. My nerves are shot."

"Your burning yourself out…that's what," he said softly.

He swallowed. "Get me another surgery, I don't care what, give me a cardiology or a fuckin' gall bladder, just let me into a surgery so I can think."

"Ichigo, you can't do that. I've told you before. No way will I let you do surgery if you're stimming like this. How can I be sure you won't start drumming in surgery?" he said frowning.

"I won't, you know that! That's the only place I'm fuckin' normal!" he was getting exasperated.

Urahara read the storm coming. "Ichigo. Stop. Sit. Think."

Ichigo dropped to sit down crossing his legs and closed his eyes, focusing. "Okay. Better. Not great, but better."

"Now, you know if you start on the medications you can't do surgery, so we have to get through this. You need a break, you know that. How long has it been since you've gone out? You could take that Tatsuki girl on a nice date…quiet restaurant…"

Ichigo glared at him. "No way, she's like…like my sister."

Urahara nodded. "How about that girl that's been hanging out with your patient? She seems to like you enough."

He again shook his head. "Eh, no. I just…I don't like her like that."

Urahara smiled a sly smile. "What about that guy earlier that tried to ask you to the club with his friends? He seemed nice enough."

Ichigo shook his head. "Too many people, though he was kinda nice."

Urahara grinned even wider. Bingo. So that was the trick. He wasn't into girls. "Okay, well, what about taking out one of your nurses, like Yumichika, he's always thought you were cute, talks about you all the time…"

Ichigo looked at him and frowned. "He's so…I don't know. Too girly. He wears make up, and those weird feathers. Besides I think Dr. Ikkaku and him are already dating."

Urahara was quite pleased with himself. He was getting all kinds of information out of the boy. He wasn't sure how his dad would take finding out his only son wasn't interested in procreation. But it honestly didn't surprise him. Then he smiled.

"Hey, didn't you say you talked to that one guy in the cafeteria?" Urahara hadn't recognized that pink dusting on his cheeks for what it was when he told him about talking to him and falling right into him.

Ichigo's face became slightly pink again. "Ah, yeah, he was just being nice though."

"Ha, I have you figured out! You've got a crush on him." Urahara said and kneeled beside him. "I saw him down at your patient's room, why not go talk to him?"

Ichigo looked up, abhorred at the thought. "I can't do that, Kisuke! I…I can't even…oh gods," he muttered, burying his head in his hands. "Don't tell dad, okay, I don't know if he…"

"Ichigo, don't tell him what? That you like guys instead of girls? Do you really think he's going to care?" Urahara said, still kneeling in front of him. "After everything, you know that he loves you for you, not what's up here," he said, pointing to his head. "That's what matters to him. Follow this," he said pointing to his chest. "And find someone that makes your heart beat for them."

"I'm not going to be an organ donor," he muttered, avoiding the obviously metaphoric statement.

"Come on, you okay or you need to go home?" he said.

"Do the hold again, okay, the really, really, really tight one," he said, glancing up at the shaded eyes.

"You know I don't like that one," Urahara said softly, frowning. "I'm afraid you'll pass out one of these days."

"Please, Kisuke, you're the only one strong enough to do it and I really need it right now, or I can't go back in there," he said, standing and turning his back to the other man.

Grimmjow could see he was facing him now as the other man sighed and shook his head. Ichigo reached his arms in front and crossed them over his chest. Urahara then crossed his arms in front of his and began to squeeze him in his grip. Ichigo's eyes fluttered and he sighed out his breath and it was obvious the pressure on his chest was keeping him from breathing in. There was a moment and the man behind him let go, sending the orange haired doctor staggering forward a bit, panting. He shook his hands out and straightened up.

"Okay, I have to apologize to Tatsuki…I kind of went off on the cussing tick on her. She hates it when I do that, but she didn't want me drumming," he said, shrugging at the older doctor.

"She'll forgive you, she always does."

They went through the door and Grimmjow managed to wedge a foot before it closed completely, watching them walk back downstairs and going over what he'd just heard and seen in his mind. He'd been right. The kid was coming apart at the seams. Maybe he'd see what Shinji and Renji thought since they'd been at the interview with him. He shook his head. This whole thing was giving him a headache. Then he grinned. He liked guys, though, and blushed when he was talking about Grimmjow. That was a damn good sign if he ever saw one.