Disclaimer: Still not mine

Survive First

Once again, Leia found herself alone in the snow. The old abandoned Jedi Temple (was it a temple? Leia didn't know what it was exactly) hadn't been made like the one Leia had seen on Coruscant. That one had been designed with proper architectural supports and built with durasteel and other metals, not carved ice tunnels. Here and there, Leia had been made to turn back or find a different way across because the ice floor had given way. It was bad enough she'd lost Luke somewhere in the dark, gloomy, frozen trap – but it would be worse to fall down and be trapped at the bottom of an ice pit to slowly starve to death.

She stopped at a fork in the tunnel and sighed. Which tunnel to take? Which would get her back to the entryway with the fountain and statue? Which would take her back to Luke?

"I'm going to kill him," she grumbled to herself and shined her light into the tunnel on the left first. "Just the two of us, he said. It will be fine, he said. This is all I need before we can rescue Han, he said. WELL, WE HAVE TO SURVIVE FIRST!" Leia yelled the last sentence at the top of her lungs. Her words rebounded back to her from the walls, an echo here and there, fading as it went.

"survive first, survive first"

Exhaustion crept over Leia as the words filled her ears and her mind. She sat down on the cold ground and hugged her knees to her chest for warmth.

Survive first. Put that on her family crest. Or maybe the crest of the Orphan Club – if there ever was a chance to suggest it.

Survival first had been the main thing since she'd become politically active. And it had been the main goal of her father for his time in the Rebellion. Survive first because the more days you live, the more chances you have to make a change. Amidala hadn't survived the end of the Clone Wars and she hadn't lived to see the changes she hoped for – changes she and Leia's father had talked about and changes Bail and Breha had inspired Leia to fight for.

What made her think of Amidala just then? Leia wondered. She'd never really known Amidala, though she knew of her and believed that Amidala was her birth mother. Every now and then she'd hear her mother say, "Just like Amidala." Or her father would stop and look at the paintings of Amidala on Naboo and look at Leia strangely, as though seeing a ghost.

Ah yes, Leia understood the connection between survive first and Amidala: even though Alderaan was peaceful and didn't have weapons, her parents had taught her how to defend herself from an early age. "Really, Leia, do you think senators and queens only defend themselves with words? I'll have you know, when Amidala was queen of Naboo, at fourteen, she led a battle. She fought alongside Jedi and trained security officers and she had to do it to save her planet. Then she fought alongside Jedi in the Clone Wars as a senator. She had several attempts on her life and had to fight to stay alive. So you're going to take self defense classes."

Her parents might have regretted those, in retrospect. Leia had loved learning all the different martial arts and weaponry.

So survive first.

That had changed slightly after the destruction of Alderaan: First goal is that we all survive.

But it wasn't a very good job thus far.

Luke had nearly been killed. Would have if not for somehow escaping Vader. Why had Vader offered Luke a place in the Empire? For his Force abilities? But wasn't Luke a bigger threat?

She wanted to discuss that with Luke but he wouldn't talk about it.

And Han was gone.

"I love you."

"I know."

That scruffy nerf herder.

Leia couldn't think about him, so she pushed herself back to her feet and made her choice. She picked the tunnel on the left and continued on.

When were they even going to rescue Han? Luke and Lando would talk about plans, look at Jabba's palace and the layout. Luke had experience of living on Tatooine and knew the Hutt's reputation and what they could expect. But Luke had also been putting it off with the insistence that he wasn't ready. Of course he didn't explain just what made it so he wasn't ready and wasn't that just amazing.

Leia paused for a moment to kick the ice wall.

Was Luke afraid of Han coming back? Was that why he was stalling? Was he afraid that Han would blame Luke for what had happened at Bespin? She figured that was part of why he didn't talk about it with her. And since Han had been frozen and given to a bounty hunter…well, Han probably had greater reason to be upset with Luke, but that was not the case! Han wouldn't blame Luke for what Vader did. They all knew that Luke was high on the Empire's Most Wanted list (#1!) and Vader would of course do things they didn't like in pursuit of Luke.

She just wished they could talk. Really talk.

She had things she wanted to say! She had things to bring up, questions to ask –

A chill went down Leia's spine that did not have anything to do with the cold. She turned around, feeling watched. "Hello?" she asked. "Luke, is that you?"

Or was this like Hoth with those ice monsters like the one that attacked Luke and hung him upside down in its lair to eat later? On the list of preferred ways to die, stored in an animal's version of a freezer to be eaten was not at all there. This was a Jedi…training ground of sorts. Maybe there would be tests that one needed to pass to be a Jedi. Would the ones who failed be eaten?

No. Surely not. Her father had described the Jedi as peaceful and kind.

"Luke?" she asked again.

She added a bit of urgency to her pace and ran through a mental checklist of best ways to defend against large animals with claws and fangs.

She thought she could hear someone talking, someone saying her name, so she stopped. "Luke? Luke, that better be you!" Leia turned in all directions, both to keep warm by moving and to check in case she had the wrong direction of the sound.

There was a faint sound beneath her and she looked at the ground. The sound grew louder, but she couldn't figure out what it was until the sound filled her ears and the ice gave way beneath her feet.

She fell, ice chunks and flakes falling with her to the bottom of whatever term for this ice pit fit.

Leia crashed on her side and cried out in surprise and pain. Well. She now knew what she'd heard and the source of the funny feeling. The ice had been breaking under her feet. Damn it, she should have known!

She lifted herself up and looked up to where she'd been standing just moments ago. Then she stood and realized just how deep this pit was.

Survive first.

Leia checked what equipment she had with her and came up with her blaster, a light, a half filled canteen of water, and a few emergency rations. No climbing equipment. Nothing she could use to get out of this mess. Leia checked her comlink and found it to be the same usefulness as before: it was dead.

Her eyes filled with frustrated tears and she yelled, "I'LL KICK YOUR ASS FOR THIS, SKYWALKER!" A sob swelled up in her chest and she almost lost it and then she heard, "Leia?"

Leia took a shaky breath and looked up, "Luke? Luke!"

A light shone down on her and she shielded her eyes, trying and failing, to see Luke. "Leia! I heard the crack and…I just hurried over! Don't worry, I'll get you out!"

"I don't have anything! Do you?" Leia called up.

She heard nothing but then had the strangest sensation that she was being lifted. Leia looked down and around her – she was moving!

But how?

Her question was answered when she could see Luke, his hand outstretched, eyes half closed in concentration. Gently, he set her down on the solid ground and lowered his hand.

Leia stared at him in amazement.

Luke hurried to her and took her by the shoulders. "Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself in the fall?"

Leia wrested herself away from him and then gave him a forceful shove to the chest. He made a few stumbling steps backward and asked, "What was that for?"

"What are we doing here, Luke?! Why are we here on this disgusting wasteland in a long forgotten Jedi death trap and not rescuing Han?! Why do you insist we're not ready? Are you afraid of going to rescue him?! Do you think he'll blame you for what happened at Bespin? Is that why you're waiting? Is that why you won't talk to me? Because you think I blame you for what I went through at Bespin? What's the reason?!"

Luke stared at her, mouth open. "I…Leia, I – no, I don't think you blame me for what happened at Cloud City…I hope you don't." His voice fell to a whisper. "I just…I went in without a plan, without thinking, I thought I could just go in there and rescue you guys, rather like we did on the Death Star for you. But I couldn't. I can't do it alone, Leia. You could. I can't. And I owe it to Han to make sure we rescue him and we rescue him properly. I need a lightsaber. That's why we're here. After I get this crystal, I can build my lightsaber and we can rescue Han. And we'll do it together."

Leia stared at him.

"And I haven't really talked with you because…well, because for the longest time, I couldn't help myself. What good would I be for you if I doubted myself? You're the strongest person I know, Leia. I didn't want to let you down again. But I guess I did."

Leia stepped forward and hugged him. Luke hugged her back. "I love you, Leia. I used to think I wanted us to be together, but all I want is for you to be my friend, forever. I love you."

"I love you too." Leia gave him another squeeze. She let go of him, stepped back, and wiped her eyes. Then she saw something behind Luke and said, "Hey, do you see that?"

He turned around and laughed. "I do! That must be the crystal! Come on!" He took her hand and they hurried down the tunnel to where the bright light shone. Odd, how had she missed that before?

They arrived at the crystal and Luke reached out to take…a crystal next to the one that shone so brightly. Leia began to ask why he didn't take the shining one, when Luke said, "Huh, light dimmed when I picked it up. Must just shine so I'll know which one's mine."

Leia looked at the still shining crystal and could have sworn she heard thousands of voices whisper to her, "It's yours, Leia."

"Well, ready to leave?"

Leia nodded and Luke started down a different tunnel. "Don't worry, I know the way out of here."

His back to her, Leia reached out and took the crystal. The bright light from it faded as she picked it up and then put it in her pocket.