Author's Note: So I haven't actually finished Portal 2 yet. Not even close. BUT I figured I'd keep going at it.

Once again, Chell can speak in this but rarely does.

~o0o~

The Courtesy Call Pt. 1

Music, too cheerful than it had any right to be, was dragging Chell out of her deep slumber. It sounded like the beginning of a news reel. Chell rubbed her sticky dry eyes as a male voice, smooth and overly optimistic, spoke through speakers, "Good morning! You have been in suspension for –FIFTY –days." Thick eyebrows furrowed in response. Flexing her fingers and stretching the crinkles in her limbs, Chell gracelessly sat up from her bed.

"In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Centre must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise."

She felt well-rested. Apparently being asleep for fifty days did that to people. With an active mind in process, Chell observed her surroundings. Already she was confused. She was in a hotel room: very ordinary and very impersonal. Chell's double bed was spreading its bloated body over most of the room's space, like some rude fellow on a train seemingly unaware of other passengers. A desk with a chair was across the bed, like a mother and child squeezed into a wall. Next to it was a miniature fridge with a microwave sitting on top. Along with a tall fake-plant in a pot, there was also a large unnecessary poster of beach scenery; as though making up for the lack of holiday experience. How patronising.

Feeling a tad grimy and unclean, Chell felt her orange jumpsuit, noticing its need for a good wash and iron. She'd add herself to that distinction too. Chell gathered a bathroom was included in the hotel mix. Perhaps this mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise allowed a shower. Another edition was brought to Chell's attention: she was wearing white boots. Just like the Advanced Knee Replacements, there were two curved pieces of metal. Considering the lack of machinery in her poor knees, Chell figured these 'Long Fall Boots' (according to text on the shoes) were substitutes.

"You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look up at the ceiling. [BUZZER!]"

Despite the warning, Chell still flinched at the buzzer's avoidable loudness. Chell begrudgingly did as she was told. The ceiling was plain white and dull. But there was also a metal rail connected to it. Before Chell could ponder over its use, the pre-recording voice (was it pre-recorded?) spoke, "Good. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor. [BUZZER!]"

Chell's neck clinked painfully when she obeyed. The muscles in her neck were awfully cramped. "Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise." That was quick. "There is a framed painting on the wall. Please go stand in front of it."

Her search for the framed painting hit an awkward delay when her leg muscle seized up. Chell had to flop back onto her bed, applying pressure and massaging all the painful places. She grumbled about the pathetic gymnastic portion of this so-called exercise. This also made her throat sore. Whatever was going on, Chell hoped that it would end soon. Maybe she truly had escaped Aperture Science and safely made it to a hotel. She hardly recalled how real hotels acted in real life.

The framed painting on the wall was to the left of Chell's bed, right next to the windows. When Chell attempted to the pull away the screens, she discovered they were oddly on the other side. Rightly suspicious, Chell stood in front of the painting, wary of any surprises. The realistically-styled painting depicted a calm scene of wooden cabin by a large lake and forest. A wide snowy mountain stole a majority of the painting, like the double bed. "This is art. You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. [BUZZER!]"

Chell stared.

And felt nothing.

A clock ticked for five seconds.

"You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music."

Just as Chell was about to admit enjoying the serene sounds of violins and guitars, the buzzer blared once again. A spark of irritation tempted Chell to smack the wall in protest. "Good. Now please return to your bed."

At first, Chell ignored the instructions. She fiddled with the hotel door and found it tightly secured; even the provided bathroom was inaccessible. With nowhere else to turn, Chell accepted. She snugged deep under the covers, hugged a pillow close to her (reminding her of an old friend) and drifted off to sleep.

~o0o~

Groggily, Chell pulled away from the strong grips of sleep as though it was gum. Like before, Chell's sleepiness dried up in a matter of seconds as the woman took in her environment. Eyes wide and far more confused than previous awakening, Chell found herself keenly listening to the announcement, "Good morning. You have been in suspension for –nine, nine, nine, nine…nine, nine ni –. This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate [FADES OUT]."

A malfunction had plagued the recording upon the numbered days in suspension. At every 'nine' Chell chest caved painfully in on itself. She dreaded to learn how long life had passed by as she lay unconscious by the hands of Aperture Science technology. Yet, it also switched on her inner demon; it was furious for what the science facility had done to her. Chell glared at the hotel room. It had aged with the time.

All colours had been drained. There were layers upon layers of dust coating every single thing in the room. Chell sneezed when a handful clogged her nose. The speckles danced mockingly around Chell as she navigated the room. The fake plant had crinkled up. The beach poster resembled a desert more than a private getaway. The power had been cut, shrouding the room in the darkness of night, the woman could only guess. Grime tainted the windows and even if it didn't, there was still that screen blocking the view. Chell patted herself down, wiping away the dust that had settled on her. It unnerved the woman; feeling like a lost relic. Fearful of the unknown, Chell clutched at her jumpsuit material, rubbing it between her fingers. It felt oddly soothing and familiar in such a mysterious, unfriendly world.

A sharp gasp shot out of Chell when someone knocked on the door. Dust was sucked down her throat, blocking the passage and resulting in a round of harsh coughing. Chell eventually succeeded in not dying. Her eyes damp from her less-than-pleasant choking experience; the woman waited and narrowed her eyes suspiciously when the knocking persisted. When Chell tried to threaten the visitor, a burning sensation prevented any proper words from forming. The young woman tried to salivate her voice box and attempted a few more times at creating functioning sounds and words but due to a however-long sleep; Chell's voice was failing for the moment.

"Hello? Anyone in there?"

Tensing at the distinctly British accent from behind the door, Chell raised her fists, ready for any fighting. "Hello? Are you…going to open the door? At any time?"

Realising the possibilities in gaining an ally, Chell hesitantly crept closer to the door. The male voice continued to awkwardly try to spark an audible response from her. Well, with the state of Chell's throat that was not going to occur any time soon. As Chell twisted the door handle, the crisp clear-cut voice said brightly, "Aha! I knew there was someone alive in here."

Swinging the door open, Chell prepared her body. Instead of receiving a person crashing into her or throwing a punch, all that greeted her was a round machine, about the size of her head, attached to a ceiling rail. She instantly recalled what it was: a personality core. The core cried out frightfully and rolled back. Its intense single blue eye rotated dizzily in its centre. "Oh. My. God. You look terrible –uuum… good. Looking good, actually."

Gaping at the core, Chell retreated back into her hotel room. The personality core followed her inside, while saying as casually as possible, "Um. Are you okay? A-are you – don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow. Oh, um…I'm Wheatley, by the way…hi."

Just as Chell was about to demand answers (and be reminded her voiceless-ness), the original overly-optimistic announcer spoke up, "Please prepare for emergency evacuation."

"Stay calm!" 'Wheatley' exclaimed. Chell silently assured herself she was only faintly concerned. The personality core's eye whizzed around a bit more. "'Prepare' –that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here."

Wheatley followed the rail up through the hole in the ceiling. The tiles folded back in, as though a personality core had never snuck in. There was a few clunking sounds from above, along with a few concerned mumbles from the personality core. Chell grudgingly wondered if his 'personality' was that of a bumbling idiot. "Oh. You might want to hang onto something. Word of advice, up to you."

The hotel room trembled.

Chell hit a wall and leaned against it in effort to maintain her balance. A chair tumbled over. The twigs on the fake plant snapped off. A tingling in her throat caused Chell to cough up another lung. Her hip protested when it was knocked against the bedside table. It was then Chell recognised the feeling of motion. Her hotel room was moving. "You alright down there?" Wheatley called from above. "Can you hear me? Hello?"

With the state of her voice, Chell wondered what kind of response Wheatley was honestly expecting from her. Tiles moved and the personality core dipped in front of the woman. The machine's eye reacted very much like a human's whirling around in relation to the core's 'emotion.' "Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for… quite a lot longer and…"

Chell waited for the robot to continue. What else could possibly –?

"…and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage."

Chell's jaw dropped.

"B-but don't be alarmed, right?" Wheatley replied exasperatedly. The handles above and below his blue eye looked like a forehead and chin but were more like arms, clinking up and down in relation to the robot's emotions. "Although if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage."

Huffing at that claim, Chell crossed the hotel room. She spotted the artwork and considered staring at it in some vain hope it would sooth her. That attempt was forgotten when Wheatley reached out for a reaction, "Do you understand what I'm saying? At all? Does any of this make sense to you? Just tell me, 'yes.'"

With no voice, the woman was not particularly sure how to answer. Because, no, she had no idea what was going on and what the artificial intelligence was doing. Chell wasn't all that trusting of robots with a conscious since the last one had tried to kill her. Not exactly the best way to be introduced to another life form, granted. Chell, in her thinking of ways to translate her confusion, jigged up and down on her legs –a normal reaction of any human lost, slightly panicky and puzzled.

However, Wheatley was a robot and robots are (obviously) not human. "Okay. What you're doing there is jumping. You just…you just jumped. But never mind. Say 'apple'. Aaaaaple."

Frustrated with a robot treating her like a mindless baby, Chell leapt off the ground to latch onto the machine and deal with it. Wheatley just rolled away from her. The woman fell unceremoniously onto the bed. In the distance, a siren sounded. Wheatley hummed thoughtfully, "More jumping. Okay, you know what? That's close enough. Just hold tight."

Disappearing up into the roof again, Wheatley left Chell to 'hold tight.' The announcer made its irritating presence known, "All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown."

Poor Chell wasn't even given the chance to scream when the hotel room shook violently, followed by the screen blocking the outside view crumbling into pieces. The television, that was previously in the top corner of the room but was no longer in the top corner of the room, came thumping towards the young woman. Chell dodged it but the force pushing the room exaggerating her movement. Ow.

"Okay, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in pretty hot water here!" Wheatley shouted over the chaos. Chell wouldn't put Wheatley as the cause of all this pass him.

The room's light dangled fretfully in correlation with every other shaking object. Chell felt like an ordinary piece of furniture caught up in the mix. The woman gasped when the crumbling screen's damage extended into the hotel room. Before Chell knew it, the entire wall was gone, save for half of the original metal skeleton. Next up, a section of the ceiling collapsed. A piece cut at Chell's ankle as the woman went flying. She scrambled onto the bed, a tight hold on the bed sheets, as the side walls gradually lost a majority of themselves as well.

"How are you doing down there?! You still holding on?!" Chell took back everything bad she's said about the bed. "The reserve power ran out so, of course, the whole Relaxation Centre stops waking up the bloody test subjects."

Through the original frame of the walls, Chell was able to see the outside world. Or, what she had hoped to be the outside world. It was apparent, even from her position that the hotel room was inside a massive underground space. There were other buildings, possibly where other test subjects were held. Those buildings became a nuisance when the moving hotel room bumped into them.

"Hold on! This is a bit tricky!"

Chell's fear only doubled when she realised the implications of Wheatley's statement. The bloody robot was controlling and moving the hotel room. The refrigerator was unplugged from the wall at a harsh push and smacked down. The microwave tossed itself off its cliff as well. The soothing artwork had abandoned ship. Piece by piece, the walls came crumbling down like dry gingerbread. Chell's stomach flipped when the hotel room ascended.

"And of course, nobody tells me anything! Noooo! Why should they tell me anything!?" If only Chell's voice was working. She'd be telling the robot to shut up and stop treating her like a counsellor for workers. "Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?!"

The sarcasm was strong for a robot but paled in comparison to her.

As the hotel room was recklessly dived ahead, Chell bit back a scream. It was like she was on a rollercoaster; a rollercoaster with no safety equipment and a track that hadn't been upgraded for decades and was falling apart while you rode it. "Oi, it's close! Can you see it!? Am I going to make it through? Do I have enough space?"

Looking out, Chell's body racked with fear when she saw the narrow pathway. The buildings were close to each other so Chell, quite frankly, had no clue whether the room could squeeze through or not. "Ah! Just g-got to…get through here –" the room hit a building's side. Chell swore inwardly. "–Okay! I-I just got to concentrate!"

When there was free space, the room turned left. Flat on her sick stomach, Chell attempted to block out Wheatley's ramblings, "And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here to find ten thousand flipping vegetables?!"

Chell's heart skipped a beat. She raised her head from her bed sheets and glanced up at the ceiling. It couldn't be true what the personality core was saying. All the human test subjects were – The hotel room crashed into something. It looked like the room was barely keeping itself together.

"Agh! See, now, I hit that one! I hit that one!" All items but the bed had fallen into gravity's clutches. Chell thanked the bed's weight. Metal screeched as the hotel room was pulled up and away from the thing it crashed into. "Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks –and no one's going to ask, don't worry –but if anyone asks, just tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead."

All the surroundings building were wreaked as well, crippled by age. Peering through the holes Chell could see identical hotel rooms. There wasn't enough time to search for any humans before her personal death-trap moved ahead. "Alright, almost there! On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there that we're going to need to get out of here!" Chell frowned when an old memory accommodated Wheatley's words…equipment. "I think this is a docking station. Get ready!"

By the controls of a personality core, the hotel room swayed back and forth, and back and forth, gradually gaining momentum. Chell shook her head and buried into the mattress realising what the robot idiot was going to do. With enough energy, Wheatley swung the room into a black building. More bits of the wall cracked off. Potential swearing turned into a coughing fit as Chell fretted over the remaining state of her room. It hadn't done anything. "Good news. That is not a docking station. So there's one mystery solved."

Wheatley moved the hotel room away. "Um, I'm going to attempt a manual override of this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!"

"N-no!" Chell croaked out pitifully, as Wheatley flung the room straight back into black wall. The force pushed the young woman off the bed, landing on her back, and sliding close to the edge. A strangled cry cracked her throat as Chell scrambled back up to the bed, cursing every single last machine on earth.

The wall still had not collapsed. But there were obvious dents. Only one last hit Chell calculated. "Almost there! Remember, you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes but –well, you'll figure it out."

Sitting up from her protective position, Chell stared up at the ruined ceiling, where Wheatley was on the other side. No matter how much trouble the robot had caused her, the little devil was bringing her to it. The Portal Device. And that would get her out of Aperture Science. Smirking slightly, far more upbeat about the alliance with Wheatley then seconds ago, Chell prepared herself for the third impact. "Really do hold on this time!" the core warned as he situated the hotel room.

Nodding, Chell kept a good grip but her head looking straight forward as her room was propelled into the building. The wall gave up. The hotel room was lodged into the building like an annex. Dust particles exploded all around, preventing proper vision and added issue to such a dry sore throat. At the end of it all, the hotel room was beyond a wreck. When the dust cleared away, the young woman relaxed, wiping the sweat on her forehead. She heard Wheatley appear above her, "Whew! There we go! Now, to be honest, you are in no fit state to run this particular type of gauntlet but…um…at least you're a good jumper. So, you got that. You got jumping on your side."

Chell raised an eyebrow at the robot.

For a robot, the digital eye was quite emotive. It seemed to shine as Wheatley said, "Just do your best and I'll meet you up ahead."

At that, Wheatley went back up into the ceiling.

Taking a deep breath, Chell stepped onto the threshold between the hotel room and the test chambers. True enough, age reared its ugly head in the way greenery had overgrown and dominated the once dull grey cement walls. The air was damp and smelt of rich soil. Lines of leaves trailed down walls like curtains, reaching the wet mossy ground. It was surprising to see technology still active.

It was a tad steamy too, resulting in Chell unzipping the top half of her jumpsuit and tying it around her waist with the sleeves. Her white tank-top provided enough protection in the meantime. Too bad there was a degrading Aperture Science logo in the centre, as though marking her as property. When Chell stepped onto the glass floor, it shattered. Chell fell through, her Long Fall Boots barricading her precious feet from glass.

Flicking clinging glass pieces off herself, Chell took note of the test chamber. And felt her heart beat increase. There was a bed, cocooned by glass. A bedside table sat beside with a small radio giving off a fast-paced lively tune. A toilet accompanied the lot, though no paper was in sight. Trying to escape it, Chell shut her eyes but her brain provided memories of the awfully familiar place:

TEST CHAMBER 00

VITAL APPARATUS VENT PRESENT

MIND THE APERTURE SCIENCE WEIGHTED STORAGE CUBE

"Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Centre." Chell had jumped at the announcement, expecting the evil robot's voice to speak. However, it was simply the optimistic male voice. "We are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control."

Just like last time, there was a timer on the wall, counting down the portal application. Chell tried to summon the energy to glare at it but the disappointment of being back here again diminished it. She sat down onto the bed, picking up the same empty mug and dropping it onto the ground, just to see it break. It gave her some comfort in this wretched place.

"However, thanks to Emergency Testing Protocols, testing can continue. These pro-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support so that science can be done, even in the event of environmental, social, economic or structural collapse."

Biting her lip, Chell hatefully concluded that, with Wheatley on her side, she was still going to get out of this place, even if navigating through this damned tests was required. It couldn't be too hard; she had already completed them before. "The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three …two… one."

An orange portal bloomed.

Wasting no time, unlike before when she had gawked at the very notion of portal technology existing and working, Chell proceeded out of that cage. Her boots squelched against the soggy moss and water dripped at a steady rhythm. When she crossed over into the other section of the test chamber, a Storage Cube scraped its rusty surface against the equally rusty ground. "Cube and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency." Chell bitterly wondered what use button-based tests truly accomplish for science, as she did what was required.

Besides the obvious environmental feat the chambers had, Chell noticed another difference. A painted large blue stick figure was running on the circular doors. Aperture Science appeared to have a thing for stick figures; understandable, really, when you take into consideration just how little they care for their test subjects. "If cube and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry –the odds of this happening twice are very slim."

As the pre-recordings informed their audience about the Emancipation Grid and its use, Chell set her mind on the portal gun. Last time, the first portal gun she had acquired was part of test 2. Once that incredible piece of technology was in her grasp Chell could get to finding Wheatley and escape. Let's hope round 2 will be a tad more successful.

The elevator had changed. It looked like a glass cylinder. When Chell stepped inside, she could barely stretch her arms to full length. It formed a small dose of fear in the young woman, hoping that the test chambers had not received any more major changes to their layout. That was the only thing on her side. If even that happened then Chell could finally conclude she had pissed off some ancient being and it was taking revenge on her. Perfect.

~o0o~

I love Wheatley. He's so cute. I did add him informing Chell his name. Without the subtitles the player wouldn't know his name until much later on. And I didn't want him to be known as the nameless personality core.

Thank you for reading.