December 1946, New York City

It wasn't until December that I saw the two of them again. But things were obviously just as cold between them. It was at Elissa's masked ball that I had been looking forward to go to all year. I sat next to Elissa and whispered in her ear.

"Do you think he will ask me to dance?" I asked.

Elissa sighed. "Well, Maria. Did you miss the part where he brought a date?" she replied sarcastically. "Really, he's already with Peggy, I think if you'd just accept that you would be far happier."

"But Elsie! Just look at them! They are a terrible match! They hardly talk and she's so quiet to begin with! Look at her, she's so dull and serious! How on earth could someone who gets to see Howard Stark all the time, look so sad?! And he's so incredibly handsome and smart and interesting!"

"Maria!" she exclaimed, exasperated. "It's really none of your business because he obviously sees something in her so let's leave it at that!"

"Oh Elsie, why do you always have to be so logical?"
"I'm just saying that you'll have to content yourself with just admiring him at a distance for now," she said.

"For now?" I gasped. "For now? You think they are going to break up don't you?"
She turned red. "No, I didn't say that."

I grinned. "No, but you as good as told me they would," I muttered under my breath.

So I sat there for a while, blissfully aware that Howard would soon finally be free to date anyone he wanted. Elissa looked terribly annoyed at spilling the secret to me, but I would've figured it out myself anyways. Whenever Howard would remark upon something to Peggy, she would give an almost imperceptible nod or shake of her head. The music began to play but they did not dance together. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Howard ask Peggy if she would dance, but she only gave him a blank look and shook her head. I'd expected that. But to my surprise, he stood up and started walking toward Elissa and me.

"He's going to ask you to dance!" I whispered to her. It was the more likely thing to happen; it wouldn't be uncommon for someone to dance with their cousin. When he made his way over to us, instead of asking Elissa to dance, he turned to me; to my complete astonishment. He held his hand out to me and asked,

"Maria, would you like to dance with me?"

I smiled, "Sure," I said.

Peggy

I watched them dance from where I was sitting and was overcome with conflicting feelings. The first most obvious one was jealousy. Jealousy with a twinge of annoyance. I wondered why out of all people, he would have chosen Maria. If he had danced with Elissa I would have been fine with it, but he knew that Maria had been flirting with him. And he knew I disliked her. As I saw Howard draw closer to her and whisper into her ear when the steps of the dance brought them next to each other, I was so envious that I almost felt sick for a moment. But there was a part of me, that knew I had no right to be upset with either of them. When Howard had asked me to marry him, I had said no. The reason was because I knew that I would never stop being in love with Steve. I could never let go and move on and it would have hardly been fair to Howard to be married to someone who was only half in love with him. And I couldn't even promise that. I shared a bond with Howard, we had been through so much together, but it was not the same type of true love that I had felt for Steve. I couldn't admit to myself that I loved Howard without feeling like I had betrayed my love for Steve. When it came down to the bottom line, I was still in love with Steve, and that would come before any feelings I felt now because I could not let go of Steve.

Howard

I led Maria out to the dance floor. She looked at me confidently as the music began. She was graceful, she never missed one step and danced like a fairy. She almost floated, with a serene smile on her face that made you feel as though everything would be alright and that if she was so content with life, then you should be too. As the dance ended, we walked off the dancefloor and out into the courtyard. I realized she was shivering and immediately took of my jacket wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said, gratefully. "It's cold out here," she remarked, holding her hand out to catch the snowflakes that had begun to fall. "Do I get to keep it?" she joked, looking at the jacket, "It's very nice."

I laughed, "If you'd like," I replied.

"You know, I think I just might," she giggled.

We walked for a while longer and talked about her childhood. It was quite similar to mine as she had grown up in a well-known family just as I had. Her family, the Carbonells, were one of the "old money" families of the East, they had made their fortune in the shipping business years ago, trading all around the the east coast of America and in Europe as well. We found we had a lot in common and I asked her what her favorite thing to do was.

"Oh, I like to write," she answered. "But when I was younger, I wanted to be a ballerina." She smiled embarrassedly, "I wasn't very good though."

"You're a lovely dancer, truly. Best girl I've danced with really."

"Better than Elissa?" she laughed. "That's where I met her you know, ballet class at school."

"Well, Elissa is maybe better technically, but she's not quite as graceful as you," I smiled.

"Oh, I'll have to tell her that next time," she joked. "She won't mind, I've known her forever, we met at boarding school in France you know."

"Really? Do you speak French?" I asked.

She nodded, "Actually I do, better than English since I spent some of my childhood in France."

I switched to French, curious to see how good she was and found that she was as good as she said. We talked in French for a while, talking about Paris and her favorite places to visit in Europe.

As we were about to go back inside, I noticed snow all over her hair. "Wait," I said, brushing it off gently, "you have snow all over your hair."

She looked up then her gaze fell on something above our heads.

"Ah, mistletoe," she laughed, pointing above us. "Se embrasser sous le gui, to kiss under the mistletoe, isn't that what they say in France?"

"Yes, it is." I said.

"Hmm, yes that's what I thought."

We stood for a moment as it continued to snow around us and the warm golden lights from the party inside filled the courtyard.

"We should go inside, the snow's starting to pile up on you again." I laughed.

"Is it?" she asked, "I didn't even notice."

As we walked back inside, she took the jacket and handed it to me. "Thank you. That was very nice of you."

"Well, I couldn't just have let you shiver the whole time, you wouldn't have been any fun to talk to," I joked.

"Well, I'm glad you had fun talking to me," she said, and walked back to sit with Elissa.

I heard Elissa ask "Where were you?" and Maria reply, "Oh I was just talking to your cousin about France, I think we lost track of time out there but we did start talking about you a little, so there was plenty to talk about."

I smiled to myself, Maria was so likable. It was her charisma, she could connect with any conversation and she made you want keep spending time with her in the curious, carefree little world that she wove around herself and anyone she was with. I sat back down next to Peggy and she asked "Where were you?"

"I was just talking with Maria outside. We were just talking about France."

"You could have stayed and talked to me," she replied. "I went to France. With you. Or did you forget?"

Peggy

Each time we went to see Elissa, Maria would be there. And each time Howard would spend time with her, talking about operas and ballets and paintings they had seen. Things that he had never talked about with me. The two of them loved big, grand, glamorous things. Beautiful things that seemingly had no flaws on the outside, a bit like them. They would be saying something in English, then they would quickly switch to French so that only they understood each other. Elissa could speak French too, but not as fluently despite going to boarding school in France, and Howard and Maria would speak especially quickly so that they were seemingly alone in their conversation. It would always be something along the lines of how some painting or historical event had impacted one thing or another. I understood that they enjoyed each other's company, but it obviously was deeper than that, but the two just wouldn't admit that they had feelings for each other. I would simply sit silently and listen to what they were saying, not understanding anything. Maria would then look at me and say, half-apologetically, "I'm sorry, it is just easier to say in French, I cannot find the right word in English you know?" I would nod politely and say, "Of course, its fine."

But it wasn't fine. Inwardly, I got more and more annoyed and jealous until finally one day when Howard and I were sitting by beach at his mansion, I quite impulsively said,

"You know, if you're in love with Maria, you can just say it."

He looked at me, bewildered, "I'm sorry?" he asked.

"You and Maria are always spending so much time together." I accused.

"Yes, I enjoy her company that's all."

"Oh, I think it's more than that, don't you think?"

"Peggy, you're not really the type to get jealous."

I sighed, "Well how could I not, I feel like I'm always being compared to her, and she always wins. And I am so tired of it, Howard."

He laughed ruefully. "Peggy, I think you've compared me to Rogers ever since you met him."

That stopped me. I couldn't deny that because it was true.

His voice softened, "I'm sorry Peggy, that wasn't-"

"No, you're right Howard. You're completely right. I can't let go of Steve."

"It never would've worked out between us, would it?" he asked.

"No, I don't think so." I said. "And Howard thank you for… for everything. I hope you understand, because…" I trailed off.

I leaned in and kissed him lightly, "Because I want you to be happy; you deserve someone who loves you with their whole heart. And I think you know who that is."