Chapter VI- Hormones

It had been almost four weeks since our first therapy session, and we had settled nicely onto the Estate. We would be partaking in couple's therapy once a week. Today would be our first time in group. Ms. King had told us it was more of a meet and greet support group. Before that, I had a doctor's appointment to go to and I was currently trying to find something to wear. Nothing I liked seemed to want to fit though. Sighing in frustration, I gave up and went to grab a tee shirt from the dresser. I pulled it on over my head and stared at my reflection in the full length mirror that hung on the wall.

I pressed my hands to my stomach. I felt my heart speed up as I ran my hands slowly ran the length of my belly. Was my stomach rounder? I couldn't help but satisfy my curiosity. I lifted my shirt and turned, scrutinizing my stomach.

My belly did appear more rounded, just ever so slightly. I bit my bottom lip as I ran my hand along my slightly curved midsection. Even with this new physical evidence I still had trouble believing that there was a baby growing inside of me.

"What are you doing?"

I nearly jumped clear out of my skin. I sometimes forgot how quietly Gary could sneak around. My face began to burn, but I wasn't sure if it was embarrassment from being made to jump from being startled or embarrassment from being caught doing what I had been doing. I turned to see the look he was giving me and I gave him an awkward little grin as I pulled my shirt back down.

"Um. I was just… looking at my stomach." I murmured, deciding honesty was the best policy.

"Why?" he asked, sauntering into the room. (Yes, he sauntered. It was strange.)

"I'm starting to show." I murmured, my face warming up.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes showing his surprise and something akin to awe.

"Yes." I answered, giving him a shy smile.

His eyes wandered down to my stomach. Then much to my surprise, he gently pushed his hand flat against my tummy and ran his hand up and down over the bump. I glanced down for a moment, then my eyes flashed back to his face. And in his downcast eyes I saw something that I think may have bordered on tenderness. That look made my heart flutter.

Honestly I couldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself. He must have felt my eyes on him because he met my gaze, the tenderness replaced by a neutral stare.

"We're going to be late." he said, taking his hand away from my stomach, "So hurry up and finish getting ready."

And with that he left the room. I couldn't help but let a little grin cross my face.

-Doctor Abernathy's Examination Room-

"So, how have you been feeling lately?" Dr. Abernathy asked, her hand pressing on my bare stomach.

"My morning sickness is gone. I'm still tired all the time though."

She smiled and nodded.

"I hear that from a lot of my patients around the end of the first trimester. You can redress now Peter."

She took down some notes on her clipboard and turned to Gary.

"And what about you? Any concerns, questions, comments?"

"Is the therapy really necessary?"

Dr. Abernathy seemed amused by this but I rolled my eyes. I had explained to him that it was necessary so many times, I was losing my patience with that question.

"I'm afraid so. I want you both to have a way to vent your frustrations. Particularly because you're so young. The two of you are the youngest couple we've ever had here. So I'm more concerned about how to go about handling your particular case. Oh, and before I forget. I took the liberty of getting some parenting books for the two of you, and of course, this." She said, handing me a copy of 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'.

"Some of it won't apply to your pregnancy Peter, but a good bit still does. It's really just something for you to look over and maybe it'll help set your mind at ease about some things."

I felt odd about taking the book, but took it from her anyway. For some reason it helped jog my memory.

"Thank you. I actually do have some questions."

"Okay, shoot."

"How am I going to… well, have the kid?"

This question had plagued my mind since I first started to suspect I was carrying a child, and how I had gotten by without an answer up until now was a wonder all its own.

Dr. Abernathy nodded in understanding.

"Generally we deliver by caesarian. We don't perform natural births unless it can't be helped. They put too much stress on both baby and mother. I'm that much more concerned for you because you're young, and you're petite. Even by our usual 'Mother' standards."

"I am?"

She nodded solemnly.

"Yes, you are. Do you have any more questions?"

My heart started pounding. I had one more question to get off my chest.

"Wh- what's the fatality rate among your patients?"

"It's very rare that I lose patients. As long as you carry to term and no complications turn up, you and the baby should both get through this no worse for wear."

"But you have lost patients?"

This question came from Gary. I turned to look at him. His brow was furrowed.

"Yes. I'm afraid I have. Only one from birthing complications though. I've lost five to… Well, I don't like saying this because it worries my patients, but, and I can't stretch this enough, if Peter were to miscarry it would be much more dangerous to him than actually having the baby. I don't want you two to worry though. Miscarriages are rare here."

"So, I'm not going to die if I have this baby?"

"No. In fact, I've got a patient who's here carrying his fourth. I'm sure you'll see him today in group."

"Fourth…" I breathed.

People do this more than once? I couldn't imagine going through this again. Between the morning sickness (which was gone now but while I had it I thought I was going to die), exhaustion, and constantly having to pee, I was not an overjoyed camper. More so when I realized I wasn't even out of my first trimester yet.

She smiled. "Two or three isn't unusual. I've had many patients come through multiple times."

"I don't know if I'll be back on the Estate anytime soon." I said, giving her a small smile.

"Lets try to avoid that. You're both rather young. Plenty of time to wait for the next one." She said, returning my smile.

I cast a sideways glance at Gary and caught his eye as he did the same to me. We quickly averted our glances. I didn't think there was a chance of us coming through again. Me maybe, one day. But not him. We just grated each other too much. And oddly, the thought makes my chest hurt. I… no, it's stupid. Stupid thought. We will go our separate ways. That's just how it has to be.

"So."

I looked back at the doctor.

"Have you been taking your prenatal vitamins every day?"

"I try. Sometimes I forget." I admitted.

"Try to remind him Gary."

"I will." He responded, clearing his throat.

"Excellent. And just so you two know, your teacher will be arriving tomorrow."

Gary and I shared a confused look.

"What?" Gary asked.

"Summer isn't over yet." I pointed out.

"I know, but we wanted you two to get an early start. Also, if you would like to, you're both welcome to stay on the Estate for as long as you're in school. College included. We want to help the two of you as much as possible. Just something to think about, ok?"

I nodded. It made sense. Housing would be taken care of, with our family doctor basically in our back yard. It would be less stressful.

"Ok. Well. I'll see you two next month then. Of course it there are any questions, call me. Here you are, Gary." She said, handing him a few parenting books as she walked us to the door, "You two are off to your first group session, correct?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Good. Have fun!" she said, waving as we left the exam room.

I glanced at my watch.

"Let's drop these books off at the apartment first, ok?"

"Fine with me."

We went up to the apartment in silence. Once in I followed Gary to the kitchen where he unceremoniously dumped the books.

"So…" I started, trailing off awkwardly.

"So, what?" he asked, turning to me.

"Have you… thought of any names?"

There was a moment of silence, short and odd.

"I have." He answered, surprising me.

"Oh, what?"

"I like Brennan for a boy."

"Brennan… Smith." I smiled, "I like it."

"When did we decide it- the baby- was getting my last name?" he asked.

"Oh, um, well I just assumed that's what you wanted. Is it okay?"

The corner of his mouth twitched up in a lopsided smile.

"Yeah. It's fine."

"Thought of any girls names?" I asked, trying to slow my hearts rapid fluttering.

"No, You?"

"For a girl I've been thinking Cecile of Kelleen."

"Kelleen is a nice name. Different." He murmured.

"You don't like it?"

"Better than Cecile."

He was starting to ruffle my feathers.

"Fine. Then you think up a girl's name!" I ground out.

"Kelleen is fine. Don't get your damn panties in a bunch." He shot back.

"But you just said!"

Feathers definitely ruffled.

"I said it was better than Cecile. Don't put words in my mouth."

I huffed. "Are you sure you're fine with it?"

"Yes. Now are we going to group or what?"

I nodded stiffly and followed him out. I wanted desperately to know why Gary had to pick a fight with me about everything. Was Kelleen really such a stupid name? I will admit I've never had a flair for names. I had picked Cecile because it was a name that came up frequently in the Kowalski family. Kelleen had just stood out to me when I had been looking for names. I figured I could just keep making suggestions. We would eventually come up with something. Right?

We walkout to the building where we had therapy but instead of going right towards Ms. King's office, we veered left, following the direction of the sign with the giant neon pink arrow that boldly wore the word 'Group'.

Gary glanced at me. I stared back at him.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked.

Code for 'do we have to'. I'm getting super good at de-coding everything he says.

"It doesn't matter if I am or not. We have to. It's only forty-five minutes Gary." I reasoned.

He sighed. "I hate meeting new people."

"They're only new once."

"Ha. Ha." He grumped, starting down the hall towards the meeting room.

I followed, and a moment later we came to a set of closed double doors, one which had a piece of neon pink construction paper taped to it. Proclaiming 'Group; in a similar fashion of the fore mentioned arrow. Behind the door I could hear voices engaged in pleasant conversation.

I'll admit I was nervous. I don't know why. These were all men in a similar situation, who could understand. Who could help and offer support. I suppose there were still feelings of guilt because I was so young. I didn't want to be looked down on. Who does though?

But it was now or never so I took a deep breath, let it out and nodded at Gary, who had been looking at me with questioning eyes while his hand was placed on the door knob.

And he opened the door and we stepped in.

A beaming woman walked over to us.

"Welcome! Oh, gosh. I'm Mary Lester, I'm the group supervisor. How are you two today?"

Mary appeared to be in her late twenties. She was casually dressed in jeans and a pale pink polo shirt, her blonde hair in a ponytail. She shook our hands, her pleasantness never faltering.

"We're fine. I'm Gary." He said.

"It's good to meet you. And that means you must be Peter." She said, taking my hand.

"Yes." I answered, offering her a weak smile.

"Come with me, we'll get introductions out of the way."

I had been avoiding glancing at the round table that was crowded with eight people and three empty chairs, but I had to look at it now. Eight men, all older than Gary and I, with interest clearly apparent on their faces. A few were clearly pregnant, a couple gave us kind smiles. I returned them as best I could. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, my nerves making my pulse quicken.

"Okay so introductions guys! Who wants to go first?" Mary asked.

A man with dark brown hair that was styled away from his face raised his hand slightly and gave a little grin.

"My names Keith. Jason," he jerked his thumb towards the man to his right," Is carrying out second."

Jason, who appeared slightly younger than Keith and had light brown hair and blue eyes, gave a small wave and a smile.

"I'm Michael. Larry and I are expecting our first." Michael said, laying a hand on Larry's arm.

Michael was one who was obviously pregnant. He had black hair that was slightly grown out and grey eyes. Larry was a read head with blue eyes with glasses.

"I'm Casey."

Casey had short cropped black hair and green eyes. He gave us a little grin.

"Ben."

Ben gave us a short wave. His hair was dyed teal. It was a Mohawk. His eyes were dark.

The next man to speak was clearly pregnant. He had blonde hair that was just barely past his shoulders. His eyes were a pale blue.

"I'm Jack."

"And I'm Samuel."

The man to Jack's right had spoken. He was olive skinned. His head was shaved.

"We're here for our fourth." Jack offered.

Then Jack and Samuel shared a look. It was overwhelming just to watch. In their eyes, mirrored by the other so that it was all the more intense, was what I can only describe as love. I don't think I've ever seen two people look at each other like that. They practically radiated it at each other.

"Well, that's everybody. You guys want to introduce yourselves? Then we'll get started." Mary said, going around to sit in one of the vacant chairs.

I followed Mary to the empty chairs as I started to speak.

"I'm Pete. It's very nice to meet you all." I said, smiling as I sat next to Mary.

"Gary."

Gary's tone was giving away how uncomfortable he was. I would have tried to reassure him but I had no clue how.

We settled into our chairs, not really knowing what to expect. We still had thirty-five minutes.

-Forty Minutes Later-

Slowly, exhausted, I trudged into our apartment behind Gary. Group had been… different. Talk about our lives, concerns, ask and answer questions. Most of our time was spent separated into two groups. The 'Mothers' and the 'Fathers'. I was asked how far along I was and if I had had morning sickness at all and how bad it had been. I also got to listen to Jason and Jack talk about how each of their separate pregnancies had been different.

How these topics could interest me and bore me all at once was confusing in and of itself.

I collapsed onto the couch, sighing contentedly. All I wanted was a nap. Gary sat down on the love seat, which was positioned to form the bottom of an 'L' shape with the couch. We were facing each other. My eyelids felt heavy and I found myself struggling to keep my eyes open. A nap sounded amazing, but…

"Gary, you want to do me a huge favor?" I asked.

"What?" he asked.

"Will you make lunch while I nap?"

A smug, slightly frightening smile slowly spread across his face.

"That depends. What are you going to do for me?" he countered.

Oh, God. Tread lightly, Peter.

"What… what do you want?'

He seemed to consider it for moment.

"I could go for a long, sloppy fellatio session."

Ever so slowly, my face heated up. I stared at him, feeling the blush making my ears burn, trying to determine whether he was pulling my chain or being serious. His smug expression was giving nothing away.

"What?" I squeaked out, having finally managed to collect my thoughts.

There was a pause that seemed to stretch on forever, until he chuckled.

"I had you going, didn't I?"

"That's not funny, Gary."

I was trying to keep my gaze on anything but him, because truth be told, the mental image had been vivid.

"You were thinking about it though, weren't you Femme-boy?"

"No." Deny, deny, deny.

He just kept giving me that smug smile, and when I chanced a glance at him, my face caught fire again.

Oh, God damn it.

He stood and slowly made his way over to me. Gary leaned over so his lips were right by my ear, my heart going twenty miles a minute.

"I know you want me Petey." He whispered.

I shuddered at the feeling of his warm breath on my ear. Then gasped, eyes widening as he ran the tip of his tongue slowly upwards along the cup of my ear. When he reached the upper most part, he started nibbling gently back down to my earlobe. I gasped and griped the front of his shirt as he pushed his knee between my thighs, creating a delicious friction.

His mouth worked its way down to my neck, sucking on a particularly sensitive spot as his hands slid under my shirt and up my bare sides, the ghosting touch of his rough hands making my skin tingle. I twisted his shirt in my fists violently as I bucked my hips up to try to bring some momentary relief to the uncomfortable tightness in the front of my jeans.

And just as his teeth started grazing the sensitive flesh of my neck and he started rolling his hips into my thrusts, my eyes opened. I was alone on the couch in the living room and the lights were off. A quick glance at the clock told me it was 5:30 pm. Long past lunch time. Long past when I had wanted to awaken from my afternoon nap. I was semi hard.

It had been awhile since I had had a dream like that. Quite a while. Six months maybe? Gary hadn't been in the last one, I could say that much.

From the kitchen I heard the sound of cooking pots being moved around on the stove. Okay. I suppose it was time to get up.

Slowly, I sat up and stretched before getting up and heading into the kitchen.

Gary stood in front of the stove and thank God his back was to me because I started blushing hard as soon as I laid eyes on him. Once I got it under control, I stepped a little closer to hm. He was in the process of making spaghetti.

"That smells good."

He glanced at me.

"About time. How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"I slept fine."

My face began burning again.

"Hm."

He turned back to the stove. I stared at him for a moment.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Why?"

He hadn't bothered to turn around.

"You just seem… down."

He looked at me then.

"Quit it." He murmured.

"What?" I asked, my from furrowing.

"Don't pretend like you care?" he grumbled, stirring spaghetti sauce.

This was all very Gary-esqe, but it pissed me off.

"What's your problem?" I asked, angrier still.

"You're my problem." He deadpanned.

I clenched my fists, blood suddenly boiling.

"Fuck You! You're such an ASSHOLE!" I screamed.

I barely registered his stunned expression before I whipped around and started towards the bedroom, grinding my teeth.

I got about halfway through the living room when all my anger dissipated and was replaced with an overwhelming sadness. Tears welled up in my eyes and my throat swelled as I fought back a sob. I pressed my hand to my mouth as I turned around to go back to the kitchen. I didn't know what was happening, but I desperately wanted some comforting.

I got halfway to Gary when I lost my resolve and tears started streaming down my face and the first sob wracked my body.

Gary turned. He was bewildered. And he wasn't the only one. What the fuck was going on with me?

"I'm… so… sorry-!" I sobbed, pressing my face into my hands as I spoke between hitched breaths.

I heard him give an exasperated sigh and after a moment his arms wrapped around me. I gripped the front of his shirt as I buried my face in his chest, no longer holding anything of this emotional bombardment back. One of Gary's hands went to the back of my head, the other to my lower back, gently moving up and down as he tried to console me.

"Hush. You're okay, Petey."

"What's wrong with me?" I cried, not understanding in the least why I felt so sad.

"Nothing. It's just the baby. Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I cried, pushing him away, angry again.

"…"

The glare he gave me only sent me back into sobs. And back into his arms when he begrudgingly pulled me back into an embrace.

After what felt like forever, I was calm again. We stood like that for a while. Just stood. My face and hands resting against his chest, his arms holding me still. Eventually I looked up at him. He seemed a little reluctant to say anything.

"I'm okay now." I whispered, a little hoarsely.

"What the hell was all that?" he asked, releasing me.

"A mood swing from hell apparently." I said, rubbing my cried out eyes.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked, sounding doubtful.

"I think so, yeah. I'm sorry. That was pretty bad." I said, giving him a weak smile.

"I gotta go change my shirt. Food should be done, if you're hungry. And if it's not burned." He said, heading to the bedroom.

I busied myself getting plates and forks while I waited for him.

I felt so awkward now. I had never cried that hard in my life. Damn hormones. I hoped they weren't planning on making this a regular thing. Not that I wouldn't mind if Gary held me like that more oft- wait, what? Where had that come from?! Okay, mind. Do we need to have some words!

Gary came back in fresh shirted and I handed him his plate.

"Thanks." He said, grabbing the back of my head and giving me a quick kiss.

And so, with my heart going twenty miles a minute, and a blush on my face, we sat down to dinner.

-Bedtime-

I had taken a shower after doing the dinner dishes, had brushed my teeth, and then sat with Gary in the living room for an hour and a half watching TV. Now I was sitting in bed, going through emails. And I realized I hadn't called anyone but my mom since I got to the Estate.

I'd have to call Jimmy and see if he was still mad at me.

When Gary walked in, damp from the shower, I shut down my laptop. He stared at me for a moment, rubbing his hair with a towel. He was wearing navy often PJ bottoms, but no shirt.

"Yes?"

"Just making sure you're not going to go weepy on me again."

"I said I was fine." I grumped.

I could already tell I was never going to hear the end of this.

He sat down on his side of the bed, dropping the damp towel onto the floor as I stored my laptop under the bed. And it was that awkward moment again. Every night, right before we laid down. Like we didn't feel right getting into bed together. Or maybe just feeling weird about sharing a bed with another guy in general. In any case, the moment would stretch on until we glanced at each other. And then we would lay down and sleep.

Tonight would be no different it seemed, as we settled down and I turned off the light. We were both on our backs, staring at the ceiling.

"So. How did you like group?" I suddenly remembered to ask.

"They made me feel weird." He answered.

"About what?"

"About you and me."

"What do you mean?"

"They asked how long we'd been together. Told them we weren't. Then they started being preachy at me."

I turned towards him and propped my head on my hand.

"Preachy, huh?"

"Yeah."

I barely caught it, but I saw the corner of his mouth twitch ever so slightly, as he turned towards me and mirrored my position.

"Started telling me how I should make an honorable woman out of you."

"Shut up." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

I jumped as I felt his rough hand slip under my shirt and press against my stomach. I could feel my face heating up as I glanced at his face. His eyes were closed. I smiled. The oddness in his behavior was nice. To be sure things had been… not great but okay. He seemed to have mellowed out.

Of course I wasn't going to get my hopes too high in case he relapsed into his crazy.

I closed my eyes and just let the moment stretch on.

Until I felt his lips on mine. I inhaled sharply, but quickly relaxed, kissing him back.

By the time he pulled away, my head was spinning and my heartbeat was racing. I let out a whine of protest, to no avail.

"Good night."

That was all he said as he rolled over to face away from me. I bit back a frustrated sigh, teeth clenched. All his mixed signals were starting to royally tick me off. But, tomorrow we were going to be starting our schooling so I decided I'd leave it be for tonight.

I settled down and eventually drifted off.

-End Chapter Six-

Hey guys! I'm not dead! So, I'm sure you're all like 'then why did it take so long?' What it comes down to is that I don't have access to an internet connection on a regular basis. Not saying you don't have a right your amazing store of patience this past year. I'm so, so, so sorry! On a better note, I sort of have access to internet again (using a friends). So, in a week or two expect another chapter (already working on it). Thanks again for waiting patiently. You guys are the best. Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear from you, even if it's just to chew me out.