Red sails in the sunseeeet!
Shut up Will!
Way out on the sea-ee!
Why won't you just shut it?!
Go carry my-y loved one!
For the fucking love of Christ!
Home safely to me! To me! To MEEE!
So here we are, waiting for the new arrivals to Beacon. Because of our alien situation, I got to go to Beacon a bit early, and now we are just waiting for the airship to bring in the protagonists, minor characters, and side antagonists. But Will here has been singing the same fucking song for the past 20 minutes!
Got to do something to pass the time. Swift winds you must borroooow! Make straight for the shore-a! We marry tomorrooow! She goes sailin' no more-a!
What the hell is that song anyway?
I don't even have a clue! Must have been something that... Mom... used to listen to. Oh god...
Don't start crying up now! Come on man, you can sing! Come on! Don't do this to me! Red sails on the sunset!
Way out on the sea! Carry my loved one! Home a-safely to me!
What have I done?
Would it help if it were more RWBY themed? Red cloak in that skyjet! Way out in the sky-y! Oh, carry my loved one, home safely to-o I!
Grammar fail.
A swift slice of your scythe will, cut straight through my heart! We'll be partnered tomorrow! We'll go slaying some more!
Way to ruin the rhyme scheme. Tell me, are you actually trying to make a love song for her or are you just trying to annoy me?
Must I quote the Mexican kid again?
Can't you sing something more epic at least?
How about some Skillet? Falling in the black! Slipping through the cracks! Falling to the depths; can I ever go back?
Finally something good!
Cumming inside of Blake!
FUCK YOU, WILL! AND OUR LIBIDO!
If I could fuck you I would. But we can't bend that way.
SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP, WILL! Thankfully this incredibly awkward mental conversation was cut by the awesome airship thing landing. Of course there were like six of them landing, so now we gotta go find which one Ruby's in.
It's that one! I see Jaune barfing!
Quick we need to get to her before she explodes! If we are lucky we can eliminate all trace of Pinkshipping!
Can't we just push Weiss off the cliff?
Remember our lessons, Will. What is that crime called?
*mumbles* Premeditated murder.
Yeah, so none of that. Besides, here's your lovely Ruby. She was currently in her chibi form, geeking out at the collection of "why the fuck not" level of weaponry assorted at Beacon Academy.
"Ohmygosh, sis! That kid's got a collapsible staff! And she's got a fire sword!" Her adorkable chibi tried so hard to float to the admittedly 'mazing looking fire sword, but Yang pulled her back onscreen and into normal form by her hood.
"Easy there, little sister. They're just weapons!"
If you mean, super mega death weapons of awesomeness, then yes you would be correct.
"'Just weapons'? They're an extension of ourselves! They're a part of us! Oh, they're so cool!" ruby gawked.
"Well, why can't you swoon over your own weapon? Aren't you happy with it?"
Ruby x Crescent Rose OTP! I'll bet she uses it to masturbate. The end looks like a dildo.
Shut the ever-loving fuck up! Ruby swung her sweetheart out of its holster to demonstrate, "Of course I'm happy with Crescent Rose! I just really like seeing new ones."
But isn't that cheating?
"It's like meeting new people, but better..." Ah, Ruby has social issues. Just like me
Yang, being the tease, blinded her sister with her own fairy tale hood. "Ruby, come on, why don't you go try and make some friends of your own?"
This seems like the perfect time to intervene!
"Hey, Ruby," I said nonchalantly, making the sisters aware of the fact I had been standing behind them, listening to their conversation.
"OH, BEN!" Ruby called and ran towards me. "Hey. Yang this is the guy I met in the police office the other day. Ben, this is my sister Yang." Ruby introduced us.
We shook hands as Yang spoke, "So you are the alien my sis was talking about."
Crap, cover blown! Let me cover this!
Will looked dead into Ruby's eyes and spoke with his dark-and-threatening voice, "You weren't supposed to tell anyone." He/I/we just stared at her, her face twisting into fear, before Will's face lightened and he gave his best imitation of a kookaburra. Ruby laughed awkwardly, and Yang just kinda scratched her head.
"Don't worry; I'm just joshing with ya."
Joshing with you?! Really? Before Will could respond to my taunt, Yang noticed a small crowd of black silhouettes. "Oh, there are my friends. Gotta go catch up. K, cu, bye!" And with that, she and her groupies ran out past us in a blur, spinning us around like tops.
"World. Spinning. Dizzy. Fall down now." Will mumbled in a childish voice, before Ruby and my body fell over simultaneously.
CRAAAAAAAAASH!
OW! Dang boxes! Oh, wait crap!
"What are you doing!?" Fuck. Weiss. Now I'M the one who knocked over her shit?! Will, let me talk to her before she freezes our dick off!
Yeah, I'm not dealing with the ice bitch! Have fun!
"My sincerest apologies miss." Maybe the good manners will buffer the incident.
"Apologies?! Do you have any idea the damage you could have caused!?" That'd be a no. Now Ruby's bending down to help pick up, but that can only end in- "GIVE ME THAT!" That. Full rage Weiss pulled the box out of her hands and started to shake the powdered explosives around. "This is Dust - mined and purified from the Schnee quarry!"
"Yeah, we know what it is. We didn't know it was in that case though," I countered, trying really hard to sound confident. "Once again, apologies for accidentally knocking over your stuff. If you would allow us to help, we'd be perfectly happy to rectify the situation."
Why so big words?
"I will not allow clumsy buffoons such as yourselves to touch my possessions. If you fell on them without holding anything, imagine what you would do while holding my luggage!" Throughout her rant, she kept shaking the dust shaker, a cloud of powdered disaster hanging in the air.
"Ah, ah, AAHH"
Crap, she's gonna blow! Use the finger technique!
Quickly I placed my finger under Ruby's nose to stop the incoming explosive sneeze. After a few more convulsions, the sneeze died down.
"Thanks Ben," Ruby replied.
"No pro-"
"AAACHOOO!" BBBOOOOOOOOOOOMM!
A huge fireball flashed around us from Ruby's sneeze. When I opened my eyes, everyone around was covered in a layer of soot.
"This is exactly what I was talking about!" Looks like we get more Weiss rant.
Hey, dude do you feel that?
Feel what? My chin is really hot, I guess- OH GOD! "BEARD ON FIRE! BEARD ON FIRE!" So with my beard ablaze, I started running around like a maniac trying to find something to put it out with. Thankfully, out of nowhere a blast of snow smacked me right in the face, dowsing the flame on my beard.
"Danku," was what came out of my mouth through the snow. I wiped my face clear of the magical ice fluff to see the hot ice chick and the fire dude. Temp's kids, right?
Dang it! Now the readers are gonna complain about us talking to someone BESIDES the 12 named characters in the huge school that probably houses hundreds!
"Don't mention it," The chick-Krystal maybe?-said. "I just wanted you to make you stop running around like an idiot."
Man, why do the ice themed girls all have to be so cold… OOOOOOOOOH. Never mind.
"Kay," The flame head, Ignatius question mark, said, "Now I think you'd better go back to your bitch. She's looks like she's getting a tongue lashing, and not the good kind!" Well, that dude has a mouth fit for angels. But I do need to get back to Ruby, cause right about now-
BLAKE! She's gonna be here soon!
Oh, now you're swooning over her. Geeze, make up your mind will you! But it looks like our timing is getting better. Looks like she is just about to interrupt.
"Hey, I said I was sorry, princess!" Ruby cried out in frustration. And just like in the show, Blake had to go and correct her.
"It's heiress, actually." Blake pointed out, holding up the jar of dirt that caused my beard fire. "Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company. One of the largest producers of energy propellant in the world."
"Finally! Some recognition!" Why would anyone recognize the heir to a freaking mining company? I couldn't even recognize a business leader outside Steve Jobs.
"The same company infamous for its controversial labor forces and questionable business partners." Oh yeah, Weiss was probably on her hit list. That could explain it.
I sure wouldn't mind getting a hit on that ass.
WILL!
"Wha- How dare you- The nerve of... Ugh!" Finally, Weiss grabbed the jar o' dirt from Blake and ran off pissed into the distance.
"I promise I'll make this up to you!" Ruby called after her. I didn't catch what she said after that as my head was forced to turn and stare at Blake's retreat. WILL!
But that ass! And you were the one that got me all hot for her!
Dude, you're drooling.
What?! Oh, ew gross!
When I finally was able to get control back from my lower brain, Ruby had already collapsed into a pile on the ground, and Jaune was already helping her up. "Hey... I'm Jaune."
"Ruby." She responded as he helped him up, and I returned to her side, "Aren't you the guy that threw up on the ship?"
And man did Jaune blush. He's redder than Ruby's cloak! "I kinda get motion sickness," he said while he scratched his head awkwardly.
"Hey, no worries, man," I interjected. "Everybody's gets queasy now and again. I'm Ben by the way."
And you are NOT stealing MY redhead!
Dude, chillax. All we have to do is get him to meet Pyrrha and then happy Arckos shipping.
*Grumbling again* fine he can have redhead number 2.
"Yeah, don't worry, Vomit boy," Ruby blurted out, before she caught herself. "OOPS!" Her hand smacked over her mouth as her face turned red like roses.
Fills my dreams and…
ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING!
"Vomit boy!" Jaune repelled at the name
"Look, I'm sorry! Vomit Boy was the first thing that came to mind." Ruby's arms were waving around in apology, again.
"Oh, yeah? What if I called you Crater Face?" Oh you got burned, literally.
"Hey, that explosion was an accident!"
"And, they're all better than 'the alien problem'" Oh, wait, secret dang it!
"Um, alien?" Jaune asked, staring. Now it's my turn for my face to match my jacket.
"Uh, long story," Well, it sure is awkward on this side.
And with that I shall enjoy this moment of awkward silence.
"So... I got this thing!" Thankfully Ruby sensed a change in subject was necessary. She stabbed the earth with her beloved life partner of a weapon.
"Whoa! Is that a scythe?" Jaune asked
"No Jaune, it's a shovel," I joked.
"I don't really appreciate the sarcasm," Jaune deadpanned.
"It's also a customizable high-impact sniper rifle!" Ruby loves talking about her beloved sniper-scythe.
"A-wha...?" Oh, Jaune.
"It's also a gun." A gun that sounds like it could cut through steel at a half mile!
"Oh. That's cool!"
"That thing is just pure awesomeness!" Scythe-guns? Once more, all thanks to the lord and creator of this world, Monty Oum!
Then Ruby asked, "So what've you guys got?"
"Oh! I, uh..." And Jaune fumbles around with his ancestral sword, "I got this sword!"
"Ooooohh!"
"Sweetness." Even if it sucks compared to the rest of the weapons, it still looks cool for a sword.
"Yeah, and I've got a shield, too!" With that, he grabbed his scabbard, and popped out the shield.
Prepare yourselves for some lame slapstick.
"So, what do they do?" Ruby had to have pressed something on the shield, cause it went all crazy and started jumping around, retracting and expanding, bouncing around like a superball. Finally, Jaune got a hold of shieldbard and retracted it back to his belt. "The shield gets smaller, so when I get tired of carrying it, I can just... put it away..."
"But... wouldn't it weigh the same" Yup, law of conservation of mass. Thank you physics. Oh, wait, I mean PHYSICSSSS!
Before Jaune could feel lame again I decided to intervene, "Well, it still is out of the way, and he doesn't have to use his hands to carry it, so it still works. Now my turn for showentell!" I unhooked Deadshot from belt and with a press of the button it unfolded into bow-mode.
"Cool bow." Jaune commented.
Ruby just stared in awe, all cute-like. "So that's what it turns into."
"It also turns into Kusarigama." With a press of a button, the bow split in half, and the scythes came out. I caught the second blade with my right hand and swung at the air for flourish, and a flourish of voice, "HEYA!" Ruby's eyes were wide in fascination, taking in every inch of my lethal weapon.
Dare I even make a joke with that?
Shut it. Jaune, however, was just looking in a state of confusion. Before I could respond, Ruby answered his unasked question. "It turns into hand-scythes."
"Oh," that face was just priceless.
"Yeah, I'm kind of a dork when it comes to weapons," Ruby admitted.
"Really," I joked, "I never would have guessed!"
"Yeah, I mean, look at my scythe!" Ruby said while caressing her own weapon lovingly.
Can I please make a joke with that? Please!?
Shut up, Will. Ruby continued, "I may have gone little overboard when designing it."
"Wait - you made that?!" Technically all she said was she designed it.
"Of course! All students at Signal forge their own weapons! Didn't you make yours?"
Maybe Ruby can help me attach a rocket launcher or something. No, wait, idea! Helicopter blades! Then I could FLY!
"I think you know the story behind these," I said as I twirled my scythes. "The guy who saved me from the aliens gave me them after his arm got cut off."
"Wait, what?" And now Jaune gets to hear my backstory. Backstory for everyone! "Aliens?! And who got his arm chopped off?"
"Why do you think I got called 'the alien problem?' Basically I got abducted, a Huntsman saved me, but he got his arm cut off in the battle. He gave me Deadshot here while he is getting a rocket-launching prosthesis."
"You were abducted by aliens?" Jaune asked incredulously.
You use that word a lot. And now is the perfect time to make a better cover story, by the way.
"Well, it turned out to be terrorists. But the name kinda stuck," I lied on the fly. Ruby looked at me questioningly, but a mouthing of "go with it," left her quite. I decided to divert the conversation back to the way it should be going: making Jaune feel uncomfortable. "So, what about your weapon? You make it?" Even though I knew, it made sense in the conversation.
Jaune held his sword out, glancing over it nervously. "It's a hand-me-down. My great-great-grandfather used it to fight in the war," he admitted somewhat unsure of himself.
"Sounds more like a family heirloom to me!" Ruby joked and laughed. "Well, I like it! Not many people have an appreciation for the classics these days."
"Yeah, the classics..." Jaune mumbled kinda dejectedly.
"Hey, I think it's cool that you use your family's weapon. Honoring your family's legacy and all that."
"Yeah, honoring my family." Jaune's face fell a little bit more. Dang it, I forgot about his backstory there! Now I just made him feel worse!
And you're not helping me out bringing up the family thing. We have nothing from our family. Nothing. We should make something anew. Maybe a shield with our family crest on it?
Our family crest has a naked mermaid on it. We are not brandishing that into battle.
Why NOT!?
Because we have to get back to the conversation. We all had started walking around the grounds at some point, I really don't know when.
"So why'd you help me out back there? In the courtyard?" Ruby inquired of Jaune.
"Eh, why not? My mom always says, 'strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.'" Jaune answered
"Ok, better question: Why didn't you help me when I fell over?" Ruby pointed at me accusingly.
"Sorry, I was kinda distracted by my beard catching fire!" I countered, arms raised in defense.
"I meant after that! You were just staring at that girl!" And once again, Will has fucked me over.
I REGRET NOTHING!
I chuckled nervously before I answered, "Sorry, I was kinda distracted by her, uh, assets." Fuck! Did I say that out loud?! My face was redder than a ruby. Ruby and Jaune just stared at me. "Aaaaawkwaaard!" I mumbled out. And that's how our first day at Beacon began. With awkward conversations and exploding sneezes.
Oh, is it time for the end credits? I MAY FALL! But not like this!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
I know I said no author's notes, but I thought I would just come out and mention this. After a delicious dinner at my fav restaurant and the 'MAZING new intro for RWBY season two coming out, I am going to be working on what I call the RWBY Tuesday challenge, where I will try my hardest to post something RWBY every Tuesday, at least till season two, hopefully till the season ends. But don't worry; I will most likely fail epically and not post for the rest of the summer. I will probably post this story a lot (I might be stealing the writing from Timey. Don't tell him!), but I might make some one-shot or something else.
And also, I update my profile with how far along my work is daily, so you can see what I'm working on. And finally while you're there you can check out my forum topic so we can actually get ULTIMATE DEATHBATTLE SHOWDOWN TOURNAMENT off the ground, or you can steal some of my old ideas I haven't gotten to yet.
Oh, and the songs used were Red Sails in the Sunset (I listened to the Colm Wilkinson version and it has been stuck in my head for days!), Falling Inside the Black (Skillet), and of course Red like Roses and I May Fall (RWBY).
This is going on forever, but I also just noticed that the day I am uploading this, May 27, 2014, it has been exactly 1 year since I published my first story on Fanfiction. 1 year with that The Hottest Day of the Year up, and I'm only on chapter 2! Such is life.
At any rate, read and enjoy or review and follow depending on whether I put this is at the top or the bottom.
-The Dark Moon has set!