My sweet child,

I will never get the chance to hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep. I will never get the chance to look into your eyes, or kiss you goodnight. I won't see your first steps, or hear your first word, or feel your hand in mine. I will never get to see you graduate, go off to college, get married, and have babies of your own.

I will never get the chance, because you never got a chance.

Callie put the blue ball point pen that she had rummaged through seven boxes to find before closing her journal with a teary blink. For weeks now she had been penning letters to the child she never got to hold, or hear the heartbeat of. For the child who was loved immensely since the moment the stick turned positive…for the child she never got to have.

Remorse clouded her every sense these days. From choosing the house with the tire swing in the backyard, over the one with the bay window in the small corner bedroom. For, she immediately imagined her baby girl's bedroom, decked out in hues of pinks and purples. The young woman had long since chopped off her hair, needing a change after the loss of her second child. From the moment she walked out of the hospital that dreary Tuesday, she knew that things in her life needed to change. And so, Callie set forth in making these life decisions, with only her small family's interest at heart.

It had been three months since she had spoken to her mother-in-law, reverting back to secret Skype conversations with Lena, through the telephoto lens of her newly acquired iPad. She threw herself into unpacking and decorating their new home, the one that Brandon was originally going to buy her back on the east coast.

That was the first decision Callie had made, choosing to remain in California, instead of slinking back to the side of the country they had hidden on for the last four years. The young woman, with the blunt bob, had decided to stay in her home state, and remind her husband's family exactly what they were missing out on.

Callie had stared at the small purple journal she had taken to writing her letters to her unborn daughter in, for what seemed like the better part of an hour when she heard the door swing open. The peals of laughter coming from her son's mouth caused a smile to burst on her face, as she stood, hastily wiping her eyes as she went to envelope him in a hug.

The small child jumped into his mother's arms, wrapping his around her neck, and placing a wet kiss to her cheek.

"Hello, little man." Callie said, kissing Avery on the forehead.

"Hi, mama." The boy replied, his hazel eyes shining at his mother. He squirmed, a sure signal that he wanted to be let down. Callie obliged and placed her son on the floor. Where he immediately took off for his bedroom, only looking behind him once, to make sure his mother was following him. The young woman laughed, and called out a hello to her husband who was just entering the living room.

"Avery, I wanted to see your mother too!" Brandon called up the stairs, feigning anger. Avery laughed, shrugged his shoulders, and said.

"When you snooze, you snooze, daddy." And went back into his bedroom, this time dragging his mother by the hand, and closing his bedroom door behind him.

Stef was known by many people in her community. To some she was the fearless woman protector, who jumped in front of a gun to save a small boy during an armed robbery. To others she was the hard but fair mom to countless children. To few she was the woman with whom she shared her deepest secrets. But to her family, and though they loved her dearly, right now Stef was Enemy #1, signed, decreed, declared.

There was this feeling Stef was experiencing, something she hadn't felt for a long while, emptiness. A horrid hollow feeling had settled upon her the night her wife didn't kiss her good night, or good morning the following day. That lasted a few days until Stef had finally had enough, she wasn't going to lose her wife as well as her children, and her grandchildren. And the plural of the word caused a sadness to overtake her heart, gripping it tightly, almost to the point where she could scream, or cry, or both.

But Stef knew, even in the deepest recesses of her heart, that there had to be redemption for her.

Forgiveness. The word caused a sob to escape from the woman who was currently seated in the waiting area of a private psychologist. The cop was dressed in plain clothes, clutching a wallet and keys in her hands, and sobbing. She ignored the stares she was recieving from the other inhabitants of the waiting area. Maybe they weren't as fucked up as she was right now, but they were all here because they needed help.

Redemption. Stef chanted in her head. She was here for redemption, a chance at seeing her son smile again, at seeing the other children he and Callie would grace their family with. But most of all she wanted to see Avery. To apologize to him. Stef realized in the end, no matter how she felt, her grandson was the priority now. He came first. And that small boy needed to know that Stef loved him.

But redemption is a long road littered with car accidents, and slips and trips and falls. It's missed phone calls, and unopened letters. It's harsh words, slammed doors, and speeding away. It's tears of anger, hatred, and maybe joy. It's an emotional roller coaster, one the woman had to ride on her own right now.

There was one thing Stef had to do before she could embark on her journey, and that was accept her son's relationship.

Suffice it to say, even after all that had happened, Stef wasn't ready to do that yet.

A/N: It is short, I know. But please don't shoot me. I have valid excuses for my absence, and let's be honest, this time I wasn't gone for almost two years. First and foremost, I am getting married in exactly one month! Yay. Secondly, I was going through some very personal things. Things that are better kept in the recesses of my mind, and so I sat down and wrote this out. In actually it's been in scattered pieces all over my google drive, and I slapped them together.

For some reason, I as a female, cannot seem to get Callie's character right in this story. I think I've turned her into something soft, something that we all know she isn't. So for the next few chapters, she is going to go hard, and fight back against Stef tooth and nail. Stef on the other hand is going to be battling for redemption, and forgiveness. At the end of this story, everything will be realigned. And god, do I freaking talk a lot. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. See you in the next installment. (: