Founders' Firelight Festival - 2000 (cont.)

Lorelai made it back from Hartford in record time and was now wandering around the Festival, pretending she wasn't looking for Luke and wondering what she would do if she saw him with Rachel. Do I be a supportive friend and be okay with this relationship? Or should I pull a Graduate and object? Passing by the town troubadour, Lorelai just barely managed to stop herself from requesting he play Simon & Garfunkel.

It didn't help her nerves that everywhere she looked Lorelai saw young couples in love, smiling in the firelight, rubbing their togetherness in her face. Every time the happy couple wasn't Luke and Rachel, Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief. But the romantic atmosphere of the bonfire was making Lorelai feel regret. If I had just kissed him at last year's Festival, Lorelai thought, he'd be here with me instead of Rachel.

But then Lorelai remembered the relief she felt when Kirk interrupted them. She felt that same sense of relief when Mrs. Kim barged into the diner the night she was playing poker with Luke, stopping him from asking her out on a date. And again when she stopped herself from kissing Luke the night they were looking at paint swatches. Rory would always come first and Rory wasn't ready for Lorelai to have a Luke in her life. A Max Medina maybe, a person Lorelai could date but never really get close to, someone she would never really share her life with. But not a Luke.

Glancing up she saw Luke and Rachel sitting next to each other on a bench, arms touching, deep in conversation, and seemingly oblivious to the rest of the world. Lorelai saw their closeness and knew that she wanted Luke to have that with someone, even if it wasn't with Lorelai. Okay, time to put your game face on Gilmore and be a good friend.

. . . . .

Luke had turned to watch Rachel leave, so he didn't notice Lorelai was there until she sat down next to him on the bench.

"So, where the hell is the fire department when you need them?" Lorelai joked, gesturing toward the bonfire. She was determined to act normal around Luke and determined to be a friend to Luke, even if she was now more convinced than ever that her feelings for the man went well beyond friendship.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be in Hartford?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"Climbed out the window."

"Okay."

"That's it. You're not curious why?"

"No."

"That's what I love about you," Lorelai smiled. She was surprised by how simple it was to slip back into an easy conversational rhythm with Luke. As if she hadn't raced from Hartford to see him before it was too late. As if she hadn't been considering professing her feelings for him only moments earlier. But then, she realized, she had been unconsciously using bits and jokes and banter to avoid having a serious conversation with Luke about their relationship for a long time. Years maybe.

"Hey, did you see Harry and Taylor get into a fist fight?"

"No! What? How did I miss that? I'm so bummed!"

"It was good," Luke laughed. For his part, although Luke had wanted to speak with Lorelai all day, to gauge her reaction to Rachel's return, right now he was just happy to see her and talk with her and act like Rachel wasn't somewhere getting punch and waiting on him to make up his mind. But then, it had become second nature by now for Luke to repress whatever longing he felt for Lorelai, forget whatever happened that made things temporarily awkward between them, be it an almost kiss or an almost date or an ex-girlfriend showing up, and then carry on as if nothing had changed. Luke could go on pretending forever. So it was not surprising that Lorelai was the first to break.

"So where's Rachel?"

"Oh, she's a founder's party punch junkie."

"God, even the nice girls aren't safe. She's having a good time?"

"I guess so."

Luke was giving away nothing and Lorelai knew that if she wanted answers, she would need to ask more pointed questions. Steeling herself for his reply, Lorelai broached the subject head on. "So, what's the haps with you two?"

"The haps? Well, lets see. What is the haps?" Luke delayed responding, not wanting to reveal that Lorelai was the reason things with Rachel remained so unsettled.

"I mean, like, you know, what's going. . ." Lorelai prodded.

"I know what you meant by the haps," Luke cut in.

"Okay, well you're repeating it like a thousand times."

"I was pondering."

"Well you ponder really slowly." Lorelai couldn't keep the annoyance out of her voice. Too late she realized that it might be a good thing if Luke didn't know where things stood with Rachel. At least it meant things weren't as final as Miss Patty had made it seem.

"If I did it fast it wouldn't be pondering. Pondering by nature is a slow connotation." Luke hoped Lorelai wouldn't press the issue any further, but he also knew Lorelai didn't usually stop talking until she got all the information she wanted.

"Is she, um, staying?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want her to?"

"I don't know."

Lorelai tried, but failed, to keep herself from smiling at that news.

. . . . .

After grabbing her second cup of punch and doing a full loop of the town square snapping pictures, Rachel started to head back to Luke, stopping only when she noticed that Lorelai was still there talking to him. Sitting next to each other on the bench, framed by twinkle lights in the background, knees touching as they turned toward each other, and their smiling faces lit by the fire, Rachel reflexively brought her camera up to take a photo. It was only after the shutter sounded that Rachel realized what was so odd about the scene.

I didn't know Luke could smile like that.

And then it hit her. Lorelai wasn't just a customer or a friend or a girl Luke had maybe gone on a few dates with and needed to let down easy. Luke loved Lorelai. And, if she wasn't mistaken, the feeling was mutual. Trying to reconcile how the Luke she knew could even consider getting back together with her when he was in love with another woman, who was clearly just as much in love with him, Rachel had another revelation. I wonder if he knows.

. . . . .

After sitting in silence for a few moments, Lorelai decided to continue her earlier line of questioning, not satisfied with all of the uncertainty surrounding whether or not Luke was with Rachel.

"She seems to really like you," Lorelai said, studying Luke's face for his reaction, imploring him to open up and let her know what he was thinking.

"Yeah she does. But she doesn't have the greatest attention span."

"Yeah."

"But she is here."

"She is."

"I mean, she left before, I lived. Maybe this time..."

"So what are you going to do?" Lorelai asked, cutting to the chase.

"I don't know. You spend a lot of time debating things, you know. Is it right, is it wrong, or should I do this, should I do that. I mean, sometimes you should just jump in and take a shot. What's the worst that can happen, right?" Luke realized he had stopped talking about Rachel about halfway through his remarks and was instead talking about Lorelai.

"I think that's really great," Lorelai said, not completely understanding his reticence. Lorelai sensed Luke was trying to talk himself into getting back together with Rachel. But what she couldn't decide was whether his reluctance was based on his history with Rachel or if something else was stopping him. In reality, Luke was trying to talk himself into confessing his feelings for Lorelai but was waiting for some kind of sign from her, some flicker of jealousy.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I just.. I just know you've been carrying a torch for her for a really long time."

"I have not been carrying a torch for her," Luke denied.

"Well, but you wanted this to happen. Right?" Lorelai held her breath but Luke just looked at her, not able to respond. He had wanted it at one point, he was just pretty sure he wanted it with someone else now.

"I want you to be happy Luke. And if you want this to happen and you're just worried about her leaving again... I don't know. Maybe you do need to just take the plunge, jump in, and believe her. Unless..."

"Unless?"

"Unless there is some other reason you don't want to." Lorelai looked into his eyes, urging him to realize that she was the reason he shouldn't take Rachel back.

"Like what?" Luke replied too quickly, not wanting to read too much into Lorelai's statement.

"Like... like, I don't know," Lorelai finished deflated.

Luke just nodded. If he still was unable to tell Lorelai what he really wanted, he supposed he couldn't expect her to tell him either. "Well, uh, I guess I'm gonna go check up on Rachel. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah tomorrow."

Luke rapped his fingers against her knee in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture and then stood up. Maybe I'll be ready to jump tomorrow, he sighed.

. . . . . .

Not finding Rachel at the Festival, Luke headed back to the diner. Walking in he saw Rachel standing by the stairs to the apartment, her bags already in her hand, as if she was just waiting for him to return before going.

"You're leaving?" Luke said, amazed by how much it hurt him that she was, even though he was fairly sure he hadn't wanted her to stay.

"I am."

"Okay then," Luke said, waving her toward the door dismissively.

"Don't you even want to know why?" Rachel asked, needing Luke to understand that this time was different.

"It's just like all the other times Rachel. You're the anywhere but here girl, you're restless, you're bored, it is what it is. Although usually you last more than a day..."

"That's not it."

"Really? Then what is it?"

"There's someone else, Luke."

"You're seeing someone else?"

"No, not for me Luke. For you."

"I, uh... what?" Luke stared at Rachel for a beat, trying to figure out if she was really leaving because of Lorelai.

"Admit it Luke, your heart wouldn't be in it if I stayed. How could it be?"

"I'm sorry Rachel," Luke said truthfully.

Rachel walked toward him and gave him a big hug. "I'll miss you. Stay in touch?" She continued to the exit of the diner but paused at the doorway to turn back. "She feels the same way Luke. So don't wait too long, okay?"

"To what?"

"To tell her."

. . . . . .

Lorelai walked into her empty house feeling completely alone. Luke was going to jump in and give it a shot with Rachel and, worse, Lorelai was the one who had pushed him into it. Who am I, Yente? Lorelai went to pick up the phone and started to punch in a familiar number. Maybe it's time I give Max a real chance, Lorelai thought, but paused when she heard a knock at the front door.

"Luke?" Lorelai almost gasped seeing him on her porch. And then she did gasp when she noticed how he was looking at her, with so much yearning and need and desire in his eyes.

"I know it's not tomorrow yet, but do you mind if I come in?" Luke said, his voice deeper than usual and wavering only slightly. Lorelai stepped wordlessly aside to let him in and then closed the door, her mind still reeling from his appearance here at her home. She had been so certain only seconds before that Luke was off somewhere with Rachel.

"I thought you were, uh, taking the plunge with Rachel," Lorelai started awkwardly but then, realizing how it sounded, stopped to stifle a giggle. "I mean, uh -"

"I think the response you're looking for is 'dirty'?" Luke cut her off with a throaty chuckle. "And no. She, uh, left."

"Oh Luke. I'm... sorry," Lorelai said, trying to hard to sound genuinely sorry and searching his eyes for any sign of hurt or pain. Instead he was giving her another one of those looks that made her cheeks flush and her knees wobble slightly.

"She had her reasons." Luke's eyes remained locked with Lorelai's so that she didn't even notice that he had moved a few steps closer to her.

"Really? What?" Lorelai asked, her breath catching.

"Well, reason, really. Singular."

"Oh," Lorelai said, barely above a whisper as one of Luke's hands went to caress the side of her cheek while the other landed on her waist, pulling her forward and erasing the remaining distance between them.

"Lorelai?" Luke's breath was ragged and his heart was beating furiously in his chest, but Luke had never felt so certain of any decision before. "I'm going to jump now."

And Luke bent down slightly to kiss her, softly at first but then, once Lorelai began to respond, more heatedly, letting years of pent up passion out in one perfect kiss. Lorelai finally broke the kiss but stayed in Luke's arms, leaning her forehead against his while she caught her breath, not wanting to fully break the embrace.

"Mom?"

Lorelai turned to look at the doorway where a devastated looking Rory stood, tears streaming down her face. All thoughts of Luke and kisses and jumping went out of her head and she immediately ran to hug her daughter.

"We broke up!" Rory cried, clinging to her mom, while Lorelai gently stroked her daughters hair. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Luke leave quietly a moment later but didn't bother to look up to say goodbye. Rory needed her and Rory came first.

"Are you okay?"

"No," Rory sniffled, sounding anguished. "But Mom?"

"Yeah sweets?"

"I'm really happy about you and Luke," Rory said, hugging her mom even tighter.

The envelop came in the mail a month later. Luke was surprised when he saw who it was from but opened it right away anyway, pulling out a single photograph. Luke and Lorelai, sitting next to each other on a bench at the Firelight Festival, turned toward each other, their knees touching, and their faces lit by the bonfire. Luke recognized the expression on his face as one of genuine happiness and love. It was the same expression he had been wearing almost every day since the Firelight Festival, or at least every day he got to spend with Lorelai. Looking closer at the photograph, Luke broke into a smile noticing the same exact expression on Lorelai's face.

Turning the photograph over he saw a note in Rachel's loopy handwriting.

In case you still needed that push, remember: the camera never lies.

Author's Note: And this story is complete. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks to everyone for the follows and reviews.