"I don't know."

"Seriously? Because I find that hard to believe. Yeah, no, I'm not buying that you walk straight out of Hell and just happen to land less than a mile away from our bunker, which you then knew how to find, and knew we would be here." Dean was getting frustrated. Gabriel refused to give him any straight answers.

Gabriel was getting defensive. "Well, hey, it's the truth, Dean-o. I don't remember how I got out of Hell and I don't know how I knew where to find you."

"Say we believe you," Sam interrupted.

"You really should, you know," Gabriel muttered. "I did die for you."

"We know," Sammy said. "And we never did thank you for that."

"Well, yeah, 'cause he was dead."

Sam refused to let go of the point. "So, we're doing it now. Thank you for sacrificing yourself for us."

"He didn't do it just for us," Dean felt obliged to point out.

"Shut up, Dean." Sam turned back to Gabriel. "But I don't think that you're telling us the whole truth."

Gabriel stood up off the couch and walked away to the edge of the room, keeping his back pointedly turned towards the boys. "And why should I?"

"Because we're actually trying to help you."

"I don't need any help."

Sam laughed. "Yeah, you do. You have no idea how to function as a normal human."

"Excuse you, I acted like a human for millennia before you two came along and discovered me!"

"Well, no, you didn't," Dean argued. "You lived on Earth, sure, but you played pagan god for a while and when you weren't doing that, you were creating your own little fantasy worlds and punishing people magically who pissed you off. Not exactly human, don't you think?"

Gabe snorted. "Details."

"Did you ever have an actual job?" Sam pressed.

Gabriel turned back around and scowled at them both. "Yes!"

"One that you could actually make a living off of?" Dean clarified.

That shut him up for a second. Then "No," he said honestly. "Not really, no. Well…once. But that was in the Middle Ages and there was this girl…erm, not important now, I don't think."

"Probably not," Dean agreed readily.

"All right, I answered your questions."

"Not really," Dean muttered. Gabriel glared.

"Your turn. What's been happening topside?"

Sam glanced at Dean and Dean nodded his permission for his little brother to tell the story. It was quite an interesting tale. "Well…I became Lucifer's vessel long enough to throw myself and Lucifer and Michael into the cage. Then I got pulled out, but my soul got left behind. Eventually Dean made a deal with Death and got my soul back, and Death put a wall in my mind so I wouldn't remember Hell, but Cas broke it down because he was working with the King of Hell, Crowley, and he was going to swallow every soul in Purgatory and become the new God—"

"What?!"

Sam was on a roll and didn't stop to elaborate. "And he did, but then there were leviathans and everyone thought he had died, but he hadn't, and we had to deal with the leviathans without him. Oh, and I kind of went insane, and I was dying, but then Cas showed up, at first sort of human but then he wasn't and he took the crazy part out of me and into himself and then he was in a coma for several months and Meg, a demon, took care of him."

"What?!"

"Yeah. And there's a new prophet, Kevin, and…wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Then a couple months later, Cas woke up and we thought he was going to be okay, but he was basically a child. And he really liked bees, and he didn't like fighting. But he liked Meg, for some reason."

"And Sorry!, the board game," Dean broke in.

"That too. But then there was this tablet that has all sorts of information on monsters, and we needed to translate it because we needed to know how to kill leviathans and then there was this prophet we met. He's just a kid, really, not even in college yet. His name's Kevin. And he figured out how to kill them, but when we did…Um, Dean and Cas got dragged back to Purgatory with them. And…Dean?"

Dean took over. "Well, me and Cas were in Purgatory, and Sam stopped hunting because of this chick and a dog."

"It wasn't exactly like that, Dean."

"Basically it was. And then someone helped me out of Purgatory, and I got him out too, but Cas was left behind. And he showed up a couple months after that and we still have no idea how he got out. But he's not nuts anymore, so that's good, and he's got his whole angel mojo. Right now, we're working on the demon tablet. There's a series of three trials that if we complete, could close the Gates of Hell forever. No more demons to deal with up here, ever. I was supposed to be the one who was doing the trials, but Sammy completed the first one instead of me. So now Kevin is sitting in some small enclosed space trying to translate the next bit. And…that's just about it for important stuff. Oh! And Crowley, the aforementioned King of Hell, drops in occasionally and only tries to kill us half the time."

"WHAT?!" Gabriel looked incredulously at both of them.

Sam nodded.

Randomly, Gabriel started laughing. "This…this is ridiculous!" he managed. Then he stopped laughing and looked suspiciously at Sam and Dean. "This is all fake, isn't it? I never got out. This isn't real."