"Twelve, wake up!"

There was so much screaming. The smell of searing flesh. The shouting of a name she barely recognized. The jungle. Thick hot rain pouring into her mouth.

"Everdeen come on!"

That voice. Sunlight burst in the arena and soaked Katniss in warmth for a moment. The earth beneath her feet began shaking.

"Katniss! You're dreaming! Wake up!"

The jungle melted into pine trees as high as the sky. A dark-haired man swinging from a rope around his neck dangled in front of her. A raven-haired girl who looked like Johanna but with spearmint green eyes was sitting up against the trunk of a tree, blood oozing from her neck like a ruby necklace. More screaming. An arena with lots of slate and rocks, blood splattering everywhere, bones crunching.

Katniss allowed herself to be roused from her nightmare and she went completely rigid, staring up at the ceiling, her lungs burning from the rapid intake of breath. Her vision was obscured by a tiny frame above her. Her face, staring down at her with sweaty concern. The concern melted into relief when Katniss's breathing returned to normal and her eyes less dilated. Johanna resettled her body with her legs arched over Katniss's prone form, her back against the wall. "That was a rough one. Was it one of mine?"

Katniss nodded, still unable to form coherent words. Of all Johanna's nightmares - and there were plenty - the ones revolving around her family were the worst. She didn't know what was reality and what was the cruel imagination of the dream world but it was always awful. President Snow was often present in the dreams with blood falling from his mouth, head thrown back and cackling. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Johanna dismissed her with a wave of her hand. "Your dreams are no better, trust me. If I have to see that mousey Career from your first games another time I'm going to dig up her body and kill her again myself." Katniss shuddered involuntarily at the memory. She had a vague notion of Clove in her brain but Johanna's memories of her games were pushing it out. Thinking of Clove poised over her, running the blade over her mouth made her feel angry as Johanna, whereas her own memories of her interaction made her scared. Johanna noticed her expression change and offered a soft smile. "I watched your games. The whole thing."

"So did everyone else."

Johanna shook her head and rolled her eyes in exasperation. "No, brainless, your games. I was a mentor that year, of course." Katniss's eyes grew large involuntarily. "Relax, they were idiots. Got whacked off right at the Bloodbath. Funny, I can barely remember their faces now."

"I can see them," Katniss replied softly. "I don't remember them much from my games. Seemed small, both of them. I was paying more attention to not dying. And Rue."

Johanna's smile dropped. "That girl did more for this rebellion than any of us, you know that?" Katniss pushed herself up from her sleeping position, arranging her pillow so she could sit against the wall. Their legs made an intimate little 't' shape across the bed. "If it weren't for her, you'd never have survived or found Peeta. And if she hadn't been so... so pure of heart, she wouldn't have caused the outrage she did. Her death pushed you. It still pushes you. And we all know you need a push a lot of the time."

"I owe her a lot."

Johanna placed her hand over Katniss's and squeezed it. "We all owe her a debt. You were too brainless to figure out that the Careers had trapped the Cornucopia on your own. Plus you went and got yourself stung by all those tracker-jackers and had Peeta not gotten Cato off your trail and Rue not gotten you the herbs, you would've been finished." Katniss watched the almost proud look on Johanna's face. "You really surprised me."

"Did I?"

"It's hard for me to remember - the bleeding or whatever - but I watched everything. I watched your reaping. I've never seen someone look that brave and that fucking scared in my entire life." Johanna paused, placing a hand on her own stomach. "And now I can feel it. The courage, the fear. Mostly the fear." Her voice dropped off and Katniss squeezed her hand in return, urging her to continue. "Anyway, you don't know this because you never got a chance to mentor - lucky you - but a lot of the time is spent hobnobbing with idiots from the Capitol. Getting them drunk, making them pay for parachutes for your tribute. Having them bulk up the odds. My kids were out quick, first day, so usually that means we get to go home early. Blight was drunk as a skunk, which wasn't new, so he went back with the bodies and I stayed behind. For you."

Katniss's eyebrows furrowed. "For me?"

Johanna's gaze moved away from her, almost embarrassedly, and she looked down at her legs that were hanging off the bed. "Like I told you in the Training Center, you intrigued me. Your tacky romance drama notwithstanding, I liked you. I saw this girl that didn't give a fuck about her boyfriend or whatever somewhere in that arena. I saw a survivor who wanted to win." She held Katniss's gaze for just a moment. "Anyway, so you get knocked around by those fireballs. You look like a fucking wreck, burned everywhere. They made all these mine accident jokes." Johanna sneered in disgust. "I punched a guy." Katniss shot her a disbelieving stare and Johanna narrowed her eyes. "Think about it. You've got my memories locked in there somewhere. Everything's hazy to me but I remember hitting a guy."

Katniss didn't know where to start. She thought about Blight, the only person from Johanna's past she had ever seen, other than Finnick of course. The memories clouded in front of her mind's eye as images of Blight talking to her on a train, of the two of them drinking, of seeing him miserable on the front porch of what looks like a luxurious cabin. Finally, hugging him goodbye as he boards a train. Dinners. Drinks. People chattering away. Then, miraculously, her own face on ten TV screens, larger than life. The fireball coming at her, singeing her leg. There's a leftover feeling of anxiety in her chest. Suddenly a man makes a remark next to her. "What precious irony, a girl from that coal district getting burned." A big laugh. Johanna's fist clenches and she socks him right in the jaw, sending him tumbling into a table full of pastries.

"You weren't kidding." It reminded her of something Gale would do. In the times before rebellion and reapings when she and Gale would traverse the deep woods, he'd have the same intense, indignant reaction to the people of the Capitol. All the treasonous and terrible things he would say, and mean them. Johanna's entire body was filled of that same fire.

"He was fat, right?" Johanna asked wistfully. "Fat shit. So afterwards I make myself scarce because they don't exactly love me in those wine and dine events. You don't know what we do during the games, the mentors who've already lost. Most of us just get drunk but I figured I'd had enough wine. I went into another viewing room with less people. In these viewing rooms you can tune in to a specific tribute. There's always cameras on you in the arena, you know that. But if you're boring or someone else is dying, or if let's say, you prepare a funeral for someone?" Katniss smiled. "They cut away in editing. These pre-editing cameras are for the mentors only, to keep track of their specific tribute in case they need help. Of course your wonderful mentor was not watching yours. So I did."

"You watched me? Only me?"

Johanna scoffed. "What was I gonna watch? Bread boy follow the Careers around? Watch the little redhead from Five? I watched you."

"Why me?"

"I don't know," Johanna answered honestly. "I told you, you intrigued me. After you did your stunt in the tree the cameras followed those kids screaming into the lake. They followed Peeta a lot after he told you to run. But me? I was watching you. I saw you test your bow in the tree. Kill that rabbit like no one was watching, because really, no one was."

"You were." Katniss closed her eyes as Johanna spoke, trying to relive the memory as best as Johanna could remember it. Nightmarish flashes of water with bright white cut into her memory but mostly, it was clear. Sitting in a large, plush room with twenty-four televisions, all sorted by district. Other people were in there, most she didn't recognize. Johanna was sitting in a seat in the far back, staring at Katniss as she stalked the rabbit. Then, Rue. Her eyes opened. "I didn't think someone like you would sympathize with me taking on a tiny girl as an ally."

Johanna's face formed an unreadable expression and she drew her hands back into her own lap. "She wasn't your ally, brainless. There are friends, and there are allies. Rue was your friend. And, from what I can tell of your memories, she was like your sister. Now that I've met Prim, I can see why. I get it."

Bringing up Prim and Rue caused only confusion for Katniss. Her memories of them were so faint and that caused a heavy feeling in her gut. So she switched topics. "Friends and allies," Katniss repeated. "Which are we?"

Johanna chuckled. "Do you think I sit up in the middle of the night and have a heart to heart with my allies? Think I wanna roll in and do this with Beetee?" Johanna blinked at the strangeness of calling him by his real name. "We're friends, I guess."

"Most of my friends end up dead," Katniss warned in a low tone. "Or broken."

Johanna leaned in confidentially. "Luckily for us, I'm already broken. And I don't have any use for friends, never did." Johanna's smile fell from her face, replacing it with a somewhat nervous expression. "Maybe it's because I've talked to Bread Boy or Doctor Aurelius too much, but I'm thinking friends with you is better than nothing with you." Johanna felt Katniss's limbs tense beneath her blanket. "Look I'm not Gale or Peeta, okay? I'm not gonna put any pressure on you. But - because I'm not Gale or Peeta, I'm not going to lie to you. I won't settle for second place, or third, or fourth but I won't push you. Not now, not while we're this close to getting to Snow."

Katniss fidgeted with the blanket across her lap. Hearing Johanna speak like this, with sympathy but directly and honestly, reminded her of Peeta. How his strong comfort was always so open and earnest. In a million year she'd never expect it from Johanna, but before the body switch she had never thought about it either. "Thanks."

"Once this rebellion is over, then we'll have our talk."

"Who says I'll be around?" Katniss asked amusedly.

Johanna rolled her eyes. "It's everyone's job to keep you safe, Mockingjay. You'll survive this rebellion. You'll probably go back to your little Podunk District and I'll be there. And we'll have that chat." Off Katniss' wary look Johanna stiffened. "We don't have to. You can tell me right now to back off, and I will. But I don't think you want me to back off, do you?" Katniss didn't repsond. Instead she looked down at her hands. Johanna's hands were small, feminine but calloused. Katniss enjoyed the feel of them. "That's what I thought."

Johanna scooted over her legs and off the edge of the bed to pad across the room back to her own mattress. Katniss settled back in to her bed for the night, turning on her side to face Johanna in the darkness. Her hand slid underneath her pillow as she tried to lull herself to sleep. But Johanna's promise of their talk after the rebellion kept her mind and body awake. Whatever the talk consisted of, Katniss was certain she wanted to hear it.

"I can't make you any promises," Katniss called out into the darkness.

She heard Johanna chuckle lowly. "I'm not one of your boyfriends, Katniss. I'm not asking for any." Katniss ruminated on that point for a long set of clicks from the clock on their wall. Johanna didn't want any promises of love or any declarations of intent. She just wanted honesty and feeling. Johanna related to things physically; she wasn't into the head game that Gale and Peeta had been.

She began to think she might have more in common with the irascible District 7 victor than she thought. Katniss hoped that when they switched back they didn't go back to hating each other. She wasn't sure she could take that rejection. Not since she'd seen the sides of Johanna the older victor tried to hide, not since being able to feel the range of emotions Johanna felt for her.

Katniss plopped herself into the seat across from Haymitch in the cafeteria, her eyes wandering to Johanna sitting with Prim, chatting idly. Watching Johanna interact as her with her sister made a strange pang of loneliness tug inside Katniss's chest. It didn't feel like her own grief, though. It felt old and gnarled, hidden away in brush. She shook her head to clear the images of fire and pine woods and looked over at Haymitch. "Any word yet?"

The older mentor looked up Katniss and raised an eyebrow with a sardonic smile. "Why? Not enjoying your vacation from being the Mockingjay, sweetheart? Isn't this what you wanted?"

Katniss firmed her lips at his confrontational remark. "I didn't want to lose my family. Twice." Haymitch's eyebrows furrowed. "I can feel her loss, too. Her nightmares are usually all about her family. Then I wake up and watch her taking mine."

Beetee rolled his chair next to where Katniss was sitting, setting his tray next to hers. He smiled kindly at her. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

The young victor searched for the appropriate word. Each morning when she awoke she was becoming more and more accustomed to be inside Johanna's skin. Hearing her voice when she spoke and looking into her eyes in the mirror; it was a pattern Katniss didn't want to fall prey to. She felt the more she gave in to being Johanna, the more they would 'bleed' together and she might lose herself. This rebellion had already taken her friends, her home, Peeta. It couldn't have her sense of self too. "Muddled?" she suggested, shrugging her shoulders. "It gets more confusing day by day." Her voice dropped an octave and snarled. "Not that Jo has made it any easier."

"How's that?" Beetee asked, shoveling oatmeal in his mouth.

Katniss knew there was a blush blooming on her cheeks. Curse Johanna and her pale skin. Haymitch looked at her knowingly but Beetee was all earnest interest. She hadn't kept up with her promise to keep him abreast of all the feelings she had so naturally he was curious about how they were living. Katniss had kept it from him mostly because all of their feelings were confusing and sexual and not something she wanted to share. "Well apparently it's no secret that Jo has been..." Katniss trailed off, unable to form the words.

Haymitch smirked. "Flirting with Cressida?"

Katniss coughed. "Yes. That. And she's taken to doing the same thing to me." Her eyes dropped to her food bowl. "I don't know if she's just trying to rile me since she gets some sick satisfaction out of pissing me off. Or if this is some weird side effect of the switch. Or if..."

The older man smiled and scratched his chin. "Or if she means it." Haymitch took a bite of his oatmeal, contemplating his next words carefully. "I would say, and I don't know Jo all that well but I've been around her and the other victors long enough, that if she's taken an interest in you, it's probably for real." He spooned another helping of the oatmeal into his mouth. "She seem like the type to waste her time?"

An exasperated sigh left Katniss's mouth. It was so annoyed it sounded just like Johanna's. Her eyes moved back to over to where Johanna was sitting, quietly eating her oatmeal. Her sister and mother had left the table. "She's hard to read. Some days she's open, other times she's completely closed off."

"Sounds familiar," Haymitch commented.

Beetee piped in. "Johanna puts up a lot of walls, Katniss. You saw it when you first met her." Katniss blushed harder and Beetee smiled gently. "Not in the Training Center. On the beach. She really did save my life and Wiress's and you immediately went after her so she choked up."

"That's not fair," Katniss shot back. "I didn't know it was for me. I didn't know about the rebellion." Her eyes leveled at Haymitch who rolled his blue ones in return.

"The arena is not the best place to meet someone and suss out their real personality. Johanna had an act to put on. You should know that better than anyone." The star-crossed lovers. Katniss felt the familiar jealousy spread inside Johanna's body. This time, for some reason, it made her smile a little. "Had she been nice to you right off the bat, you would've thought something was up. At that point it wasn't safe to reveal anything. Not with the tributes from One and Two still around."

Silence fell between the three victors as Katniss stared down into her bowl. Johanna's open statement about 'not settling for second-best' had been a source of both anxiety and elation and Katniss didn't know to whom those feelings belonged. Romantic entanglements was not something she was well-versed or took an interest in. Gale's pursuit of her had waned since the rebellion - brought on by her disinterest, Peeta's capture, and the fact that Gale could not reconcile her ambivalence toward the rebellion. Katniss had vowed to do whatever it took to get Peeta out of the arena alive. That sentiment, taken on the surface, sounded a lot like love. Katniss had thought it was love, or as close to it as she would come. Surely Peeta loved her, was in love with her, but her feelings for him were heightened by the arena and dampened by their interactions elsewhere. He was familiar, he was comfort. He was hope. But Johanna was something else, something kind of dangerous but alluring. She was Gale's fire and Peeta's comfort. She was both of them and yet, altogether different.

"That said," Beetee began, interrupted Katniss's thoughts, "I am nearly finished with fixing the original mechanism. There's a few little switches on there that I'm unsure of their function. I'd like to figure that out before we test it again."

"How long do you think that will take?" Katniss asked.

Beetee pushed his glasses up on to the bridge of his nose. "Not that long. Fixing the metal pieces was like putting together a moving jigsaw puzzle but eventually I figured it out. I want to be absolutely certain before I subject both you and Johanna to the same thing again." Katniss's eyes were pained with worry. Each passing moment she felt her self slipping away. Beetee nodded his head in understanding. "I will get you as soon as I figure it out, I promise."

Johanna grunted as she pulled herself up and got the bar to go beneath her chin for the eleventh consecutive time. Sweat dripped down her forehead and stung her eyes, clutching her eyelashes before flicking on to the ground. The heart rate monitor strapped around her chest beeped steadily beneath her shirt. Soldier York had dismissed them from training a little earlier than normal and Katniss's schedule for the day was empty until dinner. Johanna took that time to get in some more physical work. Katniss is an athletic girl but most of her ability to stalk and run and fight is in how tiny she is. Other than her hands which are very strong, the rest of her body lacked pure muscle. Johanna was used to her own frame - slight, but each muscle counted and her arm strength was deceiving. In District 7 kids are taught how to wield axes by five years old. If you can't lift an axe over your head easily and accurately, you were destined to a career sweeping up sawdust. No Mason had ever swept sawdust. Now no Mason ever could; Johanna shook her head to clear those thoughts.

In hopes of building some more muscle she continued to do chin-ups in the deserted training area. Once she had exhausted her muscles she left the area for the range, opting to test out Beetee's bow again. She picked up the non-explosive arrows and loaded them in the quiver. Johanna herself had no idea how to properly use a bow and arrow; her experience in the training center before her games was minimal and generally, she lacked the subtlety for archery. Katniss's body knew it just as her own body knew how to wield an axe and it never failed to relax the District 12 native. To help soothe her muscles she loaded the bow and began taking out the popped up targets as they emerged. The bow was precise and required such concentration to take down a target. When she hurled an axe she was as accurate as anything but you didn't have to be a surgeon to kill someone with an axe.

Hers - or Katniss's - victor senses pricked up as she got close to the last few arrows. She was being watched. Once she had spent all the arrows in the quiver she turned around to see her own face staring back at her. Her lips split into a catlike grin. "Don't want you to get rusty, Mockingjay."

Katniss bit her bottom lip and raised an eyebrow. She had come upon Johanna shooting the arrows and was immediately struck by a strong sensation she had felt moderately in the meadow when they had first switched and Johanna had practiced with the bow for the first time. Katniss allowed herself to feel whatever it was that Johanna was feeling as she unloaded the quiver. It was pure arousal, laced with a little bit of admiration. Being around Johanna was too confusing. Her own attraction to the other girl, combined with the attraction she could feel inside Johanna for her, was too complicated. But she couldn't pass an opportunity to get Johanna against the ropes. "You really like watching me shoot, huh?"

Johanna had the decency to blush and duck her gaze. "Please. Like you don't love watching me toss an axe." Katniss shook her head and Johanna raised both her eyebrows. "Really?" Johanna shucked the bow and quiver on to the floor. She confidently sauntered over to the weapons' closet and removed two small hatchets from the pegs on the wall. She walked back to Katniss and handed her the axes, nodding toward the targets. "Go ahead."

Katniss narrowed her eyes. "You'll lie."

Johanna lifted her shirt and exposed the heart rate monitor wrapped around her ribs. She knew just by looking at the expression on her face that Katniss felt the arousal she would feel seeing Katniss exposed. There was no hiding behind her smirk and her coarse words anymore. Katniss could feel what she had spent a lot of time denying herself. "If I - or you - get a little excited, we'll know."

Katniss sighed. Even before she began she knew Johanna would feel it. Watching Johanna use the axes or the rifles always made her a little bit nervous and she didn't know why. Being inside Johanna had been eye-opening in that respect; it taught her how to identify all the sexual feelings inside her body. Both the ones she wanted and the ones she didn't. Katniss sucked in a deep breath and turned to the targets. She whipped back, then tossed both axes in quick succession toward the targets, grunting with each release.

The heart rate monitor beeped more rapidly and Johanna smirked smugly at Katniss. "That doesn't mean anything," Katniss mumbled, wiping her hands on her 13-issued pants and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Sure it doesn't. Whatever helps you sleep at night, kid." Johanna nudged her in the shoulder with a pleased smile and the two of them ambled toward the exit. There was some time to kill before dinner so Johanna figured she would take a shower and catch up on some studying she had been neglecting. Katniss had been good about keeping her up with her studies and even making her a better sharpshooter. Soldier York had even "commended" Johanna on her better attitude.

Once they were back in their compartment Johanna stripped out of her clothes and kicked them to the side, entering the bathroom without even looking toward Katniss. Quickly she showered and exited the bathroom, the towel wrapped under her arms. Katniss was sitting on the edge of her bed with her feet dangling down, swinging back and forth. She looked up as Johanna entered the room, padding across the floor barefoot until she got to her bed. Johanna pulled on her clothes, tossing the towel over a nearby chair. "Johanna?"

Johanna peered at Katniss. "Hm?"

"Would you..." Katniss hefted a large sigh and slid off the bed. "I haven't been able to take a decent bath since the switch. Showers seem to be completely off the chart for me - um, for you." A shadow crossed over Johanna's face. "Would you help me? I think that I would - or that you would - maybe do better if you had some help?"

Johanna's face turned into a scowl before a small smirk appeared on her lips. "Want me to tell you how you feel when you see me naked?" Katniss rolled her eyes and took Johanna by the hand to lead her into the bathroom. She had no desire to keep up Johanna's insistence on not bathing, and who would be better equipped to help Johanna than Johanna herself? The creaking of the shower and the water streaming onto her seemed too daunting but a regular bath would probably be okay, she thought. Johanna suddenly jerked her hand back as the water began filling the tub. "I don't think you want to do this."

The sincerity in Johanna's tone took Katniss by surprise and she turned around. Johanna was eyeing the bathtub with distrust and Katniss softened her voice. "Like you said, we can't go back, so we might as well get on with things. You can't let this fear take over your life. You swam in the Quell, right? We had to. This water's the same. This is safer."

Johanna rolled her eyes. "Of course I did, brainless. Before you tried to drown yourself." Katniss puckered her lips. "It's not that, it's -" Johanna cut herself off. She didn't want Katniss to relive the nightmares she relived when she went near water. Not just because of her pride - though that comprised most of the reason - but also because it was so painful. "There are some things you don't need to know about me. I don't need or want anyone's pity."

Katniss took Johanna's hand again and held it between both of her own. "I know that terrible things happened to you in the Capitol, Johanna." Johanna's gaze dropped to the floor. "I can see them sometimes at night. Going to visit Peeta does it, too. And I know it has something to do with water, with... with lightning or electricity or something. But I think I can help. It doesn't totally put me off like it does for you. I'm still me, somewhere in here, and I'm okay with water. Maybe with both of us, we can help get you through this." Johanna still seemed very uncertain. "I don't pity you. It's partly guilt because your torture is essentially my fault."

Johanna's gaze leveled intently on Katniss. "That's not true. Every death or misfortune in this rebellion is not your fault just because you picked some berries and chose to die with dignity. I don't know who's been filling your head with this shit - or maybe you're just ridiculously self-involved - but either way, know that at least I can say I made my own choices and before recently I had pretty little regard for you." Katniss smiled. In her "Johanna" way she had tried to absolve Katniss of the guilt she felt over her capture. Johanna's eyes dropped to her feet. "I couldn't ask you for help, Everdeen."

Katniss smirked. "I know you wouldn't but I'm asking you. So come on." Katniss met Johanna's eyes meaningfully. "Trust me."

Johanna laughed ruefully. "You know I can feel that you don't trust me. I look in your eyes - in my eyes - and I can still feel that you are stuck in that arena on your back with me digging into your forearm." Her eyes took on a faraway quality as she tried to blink out the image of looking up at her face, sweating and concerned, stabbing into Katniss's arm. She refocused on Katniss. "Not that I blame you."

Katniss nodded her head and swallowed the saliva in her mouth. She knew she'd have to choose her next few words very carefully in order to keep Johanna opening up. Beetee had been correct in that Johanna was a tough nut to crack. She was quick to put up walls. "It's not because it's you," Katniss began. "It's the arena. The situation. You hitting me with that coil sent my already pretty fragile state into another world. I didn't know what was happening. Only that it was painful and that I wasn't going to protect Peeta. I had failed."

"If we had let you both go with the wire, you'd both probably be dead." Katniss looked puzzled for a moment. "The wire snaps, you both go running away from Brutus and Enobaria. Right into the Capitol hovercraft that didn't need you to break down the dome for it to enter. They'd have scooped you both right up, probably killed you on television, then kept Peeta around to help quell the rebellion. Or kept you alive until Peeta could talk 'sense' into everyone, then killed you. And before you start on your 'at least my sister would be safe' bullshit, she'd be dead right after you. Twelve would still be dust." Johanna saw Katniss's expression become pained and she sighed. "I'm saying this because you need to get out of your guilt. It's not helping you, Peeta, the rebellion, anyone. You don't have to feel guilty that you survived. Survival is not a privilege, survival is earned."

Katniss's mouth quirked upward. "Johanna Mason, victor, fighter, rebel, philosopher?" Johanna jabbed Katniss in the ribs, a blush scattering along her cheeks.

"Just because I'm in your brain doesn't mean I'm the brainless one." Katniss stuck out her tongue and Johanna chuckled, enjoying the petulant look on her own face. She heaved a sigh as the smile began to fade from Katniss's face while she filled the tub with warm water. "I gotta warn you, it's not going to be pretty."

Katniss nodded. "I know. Maybe if you - I don't know, talk me through it?" Johanna quirked her eyebrow as Katniss began stripping out of her clothing. "I'm saying maybe if you talk while I do this, it'll make the time go by quicker. Associate water with something else."

"With you," Johanna added, eyes dropping back to the floor. "To be honest, I don't know if that's going to help." Katniss looked up at her, clad in only her bra and panties. Johanna firmed her lips. This was more sharing than she wanted to do, but Katniss could reach into her memories anyway and pluck out whatever she wanted. "I thought about you a lot. While - while I was there."

"Because it was my fault?"

"No brainless. Because ...I don't know, actually. I just kept hoping you were alive. That you were making him pay. The only reason I thought you were alive is because Peeta never stopped screaming for you. I figured if you were dead, they'd use that to torture him." Johanna watched in horror as Katniss's eyes took on a horrified, faraway stare. Johanna grabbed her hand and squeezed it in earnest. "Hey, hey, it's okay," she said, her voice dropping to a soothing tone. Katniss leveled her gaze at her and smiled a little. "We're not there anymore. We're here." Katniss turned off the water and shivered. "All right, take off your clothes."

Katniss raised her eyebrows to her hairline. "Pervert."

Johanna snickered. "It's perverted to see myself naked? I think we both know this is not the first or last time." Johanna was taken aback at the strong arousal she felt when Katniss unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor, bending down to remove her underwear. When Katniss stood she saw her own face with a slacked jaw. Johanna blinked rapidly and smirked. "Well, well, well. The girl on fire is not as pure as we think. Is this how you felt in the elevator? 'Cos you could've given a girl a compliment instead of staring around me."

"Shut up," Katniss commanded with an embarrassed grin on her face. Slowly Katniss dipped her one leg into the bath, followed by the other. She stood in the water and let it gently lap at the back of her knees. Katniss lowered herself into the tub as she clutched the edges. She began to hyperventilate and within seconds Johanna was kneeling next to her, prying her hand off the tub and clasping it within her own.

"It's okay. Just breathe, Katniss. Breathe slowly for me." Katniss screwed her eyes shut and focused on breathing. The images in her brain of an all-white room flashed like television static. She felt cold water rushing around her. "Hey." Johanna snapped the fingers on her free hand. "Don't give in to my memories. Look at me." Johanna took Katniss by the chin and forced her to look over. "Open your eyes."

Katniss opened her eyes to see her own reflection staring back at her. Johanna used her hand to stroke what little hair she had grown, rubbing Katniss's temple with her thumb. "That's frightening."

"I know." Johanna grabbed the soap bar from the side of the tub and worked it into a lather in her hands. With deliberate movements she ran the soap over the back of Katniss's neck, working it into her shoulders. Katniss breathed out a sigh, focusing on the little white bubbles of soap as they dropped from her skin and hit the water. "You don't have to do this, you know. For me."

Katniss looked up at Johanna who was focused on cleaning her skin. "It's the least I can do." Johanna gave her a dour look and Katniss smiled weakly. "Not because of the Quell. Or the torture. Because-" Katniss sucked in a sharp breath. "Because of you. Because I want to, for you."

Johanna dropped her gaze as she scrubbed Katniss's back, tenderly going over the faint pink scars that spidered along her shoulder blades. There was the barest hint of a smile on her face. "Okay." They fell into silence as Johanna washed what little hair she had, massaging her scalp as she did so. Katniss was doing wonderfully ignoring the pangs of flashbacks that threatened to overtake her. A few times her teeth clenched as a particularly gruesome memory would crop up before Johanna would talk her out of it. She felt like a balloon only faintly tethered to reality and Johanna was a petulant child with the string, tugging her back down.

Never in her life could Johanna remember anyone making a sacrifice for her. Katniss's actions were thoroughly unselfish - even if she did want to be clean. It gave her something she hadn't felt in a long while: hope. Johanna helped her out of the tub and pulled the drain. She wrapped Katniss in a nearby towel and ruffled her damp locks. "You did great," Katniss whispered, closing her eyes at the warmth of the towel with Johanna's body pressing against her own.

"Not me, you. I never could've gotten in there." Johanna shook her head as she watched the water swirl down into the drain and a shudder ran down her spine.

Katniss placed her hand on Johanna's cheek to bring back her gaze. "Yes, you would have. And you will. There was a lot of fear there but there's even more courage."

Johanna scrunched her nose and was grateful that Katniss's darkened skin made her blush less apparent. "No more mushy talks okay Everdeen? I can't take it anymore." Johanna smiled devilishly and Katniss poked her in the bicep and walked around her, shaking her head.

"Afraid you're going soft, Mason?" Katniss called from the next room. Johanna followed her out and placed her hands on her hips.

"I don't know. Why don't you touch me and find out?" Johanna nodded toward Katniss, her eyes dropping to where her own private area was.

Katniss groaned and a bloom of red spread across her cheeks. "You're such a pervert, geez."

Johanna shrugged. "You bring it out in me."

Two days before the soldiers were to be shipped out on the first Capitol offensive, Soldier York finally recommended Johanna and Katniss for the exam. "About damn time," they both muttered under their breaths in unison. Katniss looked up at Johanna in desperation. "We have to see Beetee first."

The pair made their descent as quickly as possible to the laboratory where Beetee was holed up. He nearly rolled them over in the doorway, the metal contraption in his hand. "Ladies! I'm so glad you came down here. I was just-"

"Yeah great," Johanna interrupted. Her patience was long gone, if it was ever truly present to begin with. "York has just recommended us for the exam and we have to report ASAP or Boggs'll have a baby. Is this thing gonna work?"

Beetee nodded. "It should. Haven't quite figured out all the bells and whistles so to speak, but in theory it should be one hundred percent functional. I must warn you, it's still untested and highly unstable."

Johanna snatched it from his hand and fixed it within her palm. The metal began to vibrate as she clenched it in her open hand. She looked over at Katniss who wore a worried look on her face. "It's been quite a ride, Everdeen. I was just getting used to your cute little braid."

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Let's just get this over with."

"A-fucking-greed." Johanna held up her hand. Katniss drew in a deep, hesitant breath. She then clasped her hand over Johanna's tightly, the magnetizing force of the metal pulling them together. A small tremor went through their hands and down their arms and Johanna unconsciously snatched Katniss's other hand tightly.

The blue light flickered in between them. The room began buzzing as if all the air particles were catching the electricity from within the mechanism. Suddenly the light shot outward and both girls stumbled back, but didn't fall. The piece unhooked from Johanna's hand and fell to the ground with a loud clang. Johanna looked over at Katniss in concern. "Are you okay?"

Beetee's eyes lit up behind his thick frames. "Did it work?"

Katniss gazed back at Johanna and sadly still saw her own reflection. "Fuck." Johanna looked like she was nearly shooting flames from her eyes in anger. "We're going to have to pass the Block like this."

"No shit." Johanna looked down at Beetee who was examining the device. "Volts, what the hell?"

Beetee peered at Johanna over his glasses. "I'm quite confused. It looks as it did after you both used it the first time. As far as I know it should have worked." His puzzled expression became sympathetic. "I'm very sorry but you'll have to proceed as you are. Hopefully I can figure this out before you leave. Otherwise I don't know how much longer I'll have access to all this technology, presuming the Capitol offensive goes well and the war ends."

Katniss drew in a deep, deliberate breath as she focused her eyes on Johanna. "We're victors, right? We can take anything they throw at us." Johanna smirked.

"Couldn't have said it better myself," she replied with a wink. She held out her arm. "Let's go, Solider Mason."

Katniss grinned and looped her arm through Johanna's. "After you, Soldier Everdeen."

Johanna flew through the exam. The obstacle course, the written, the weapons proficiency, even the Block. Katniss's weakness was not her own and when she needed to get down on the ground and follow orders, she did. She met with Finnick and Gale in the Command Room and received their instructions on their procedure, celebrating their success. Gale had his panties in a knot about not being in combat but Johanna was just thrilled to get a chance to get back to the Capitol. Get closer to Snow. Get closer to seeing him die. Even if it was all a show, it'd be quite a show.

They emerged from the meeting in high spirits but it was quickly dashed by the stone sober face of Haymitch. Johanna stopped in her tracks. "Whoa. Even I can tell that face means something's up."

Haymitch took Johanna by the shoulder and drew her down the hallway away from the boys. Once they were out of earshot he leaned in. "Johanna failed the Block exam." Johanna stared at the blond mentor in confusion. Failed? How could Katniss have failed? "They flooded the streets. She had one of your flashbacks, didn't know where she was. It wasn't too bad but they're not letting her go to the Capitol now."

"But she has to go, Haymitch," Johanna pleaded, eyes wide. "She has to make him pay."

"Looks like you'll have to do that for her, sweetheart."

All she could hear in her brain was Katniss's voice over and over again: I kill Snow. I kill Snow. "No. She deserves this." She didn't wait to hear any more. After a stop in her compartment and a brief talk with Boggs she went out into the woods, gathering some fresh pine boughs still on the trees. She bundled it together and quickly reversed her trip and half-jogged back to the infirmary.

As she arrived Katniss was sitting up on the edge of the bed in the hospital gown, the morphlng drip detached from her body and dripping slowly on to the floor. Johanna walked in on hunter's feet and lifted herself onto the bed next to Katniss. She placed her hand over Katniss's. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," Johanna interrupted brusquely. "If I hadn't been fucking with Volts none of this would've happened. You'd be going to the Capitol. You'd be making him pay."

There was a lot of truth to that statement, but Katniss's anger toward Johanna was stunted by how powerful the flashback had been. One moment she was aimed up with her rifle, about to take down a Peacekeeper, and the next thing she knew water had flooded the streets. It came rushing at her and she dropped to her knees, screaming as the flashback became reality. Chained in a white room, soaking in bone-chilling water, electrical shocks hitting her temples and her ribs. Katniss looked down at Johanna's hand and saw a tiny bundle wrapped in her ribbons. She narrowed her gaze. "What's that?"

Johanna peered down on the small gift and her mouth twitched. "It's for you. Well, us, really. I got the pine needles from outside. Figured it would be comforting to ...you know, me. Sometimes when I have bad flashbacks in my sessions or whatever, thinking of home helps. But the ribbon, the green one, smells like you. I thought that it would be nice to have something while you're stuck in this stinking infirmary" Johanna looked away in an attempt to curtail her emotions. "I won't let you down again. I will kill that fucking bastard."

Katniss took the small gift and her eyes met Johanna's. She didn't know if being in her body had made Johanna more empathetic, or maybe she did feel something toward her but either way, Katniss knew of only one way to thank her. Gathering Johanna's plentiful courage she placed her hand softly on the side of Johanna's cheek and pushed their lips together. Johanna smiled into the kiss and slid her tongue along Katniss's lower lip. It was a weird sensation - kissing her own lips - but it didn't feel that way. It felt like she was kissing Katniss. It made her heart pound in her chest and gooseflesh appear all over her arms. Finally.

A shudder went through Johanna's body, jolting from her lips right to her core. Behind her closed eyes there was a brilliant blue light that she blissfully ignored. Her hand curled around the back of Katniss's neck and her thumb traced underneath Katniss's ear. After long, wonderful minutes she felt Katniss's lips still and she pulled away from her with a hard pant. Her hand went to her own heart and beneath her fingers she felt the rough fabric of the hospital gown. "What?" Her eyes met Katniss's and it was actually Katniss's eyes she was staring into. Gray ones, wide and imploring, nearly panicked. "It worked."

Katniss felt around her body slowly. She was in the armor from the exam and not the gown. Her head was heavy with the weight of her braid. More importantly, her feelings and memories were her own. The tingle in her lips from Johanna's kiss was her own. "Do you think it was..." Katniss motioned between the two of them.

Johanna grinned and shrugged her shoulders, enjoying the familiarity of her own muscles. "I know I'm good but I'm not sure about body-switching good."

"That could not have been a coincidence," Katniss muttered with the tips of her fingers brushing against her own lips. The swell inside her stomach and heat that had spread from her mouth to her loins had been so unexpected. As had realizing halfway through their breathless kiss that she was back inside her own body. She recognized the warmth in her stomach from the beach, but not the fire she felt, and when she opened her eyes and saw Johanna there was the flood of arousal. That was totally new. And worrisome.

Johanna raised both eyebrows as she gazed upon Katniss's face. It almost didn't feel real that they had kissed at all. Johanna's lips had kissed many others in her lifetime but none of them made her feel like an electric shock had gone straight to her heart. In a good way. It was disheartening though as Katniss didn't seem to mirror that feeling. "You should get going. They're probably going to need to debrief you some more."

Katniss nodded absently. She slid off the bed and landed on her feet, squatting her knees a few times to adjust herself to her own weight. She and Johanna didn't have that much of a weight deferential between them but it was all distributed differently. "I guess I'll go." She turned halfway to face Johanna. "I'll come back before we leave."

"Don't bother," Johanna replied, playing mindlessly with the morphling drip. "I don't need you to do me any favors."

"It wouldn't be a favor. I'd be doing it because I want to." Johanna looked at her sourly. "What?"

"When things get a little too real the Mockingjay bails." Katniss crossed her arms over her chest. "You felt something when we kissed, didn't you? Not just the switch. Something else. And now you're bailing."

Katniss felt the intimate anger Johanna always seemed to inspire in her. "I said I would come back!" she barked.

"Out of pity!" Johanna shot back. "Poor District Seven, can't stand the water, can't go to the fucking Capitol. I'm about as useful as fucking Buttercup and neither he nor I want your pity, Everdeen."

Katniss groaned and turned away from Johanna, placing her hands on either sides of her head. The emotions the kiss had caused her were not something she wanted to discuss prior to her suicide mission to the Capitol. Johanna would just be another person she'd let down. "It's not pity," Katniss spat out. "I thought you said you wanted to be friends."

Johanna cackled behind her and Katniss whirled back around. "I told you I wasn't going to pressure you and I'm not. But unlike your boyfriends, I actually felt what you feel inside. You can't lie to me. You can lie to yourself now I guess, but not to me. Not anymore." Johanna felt familiar fury rising in her body. "Go. Go to the Capitol, have your fucking moment. Don't forget to kiss your other friends goodbye, too. Maybe your 'magic kiss' will straighten up Peeta, too."

Katniss was very glad that they had some privacy because it only took her a split second to whip Johanna across the cheek with her open palm in a loud slap that surely would've brought them attention. Wide set brown eyes flashed both anger and arousal and Katniss used her stinging right hand to grip Johanna's hospital gown above her chest and crush their bodies together in another kiss. She stood between Johanna's legs and kept her tight fist wrapped in Johanna's gown. This kiss was much less gentle than before, much less timid. Her teeth clashed against Johanna's and the older victor's two tiny fists had her around by the waist, pulling her closer.

The brunette pulled away and ran her tongue along the outside of her bottom lip, tasting the slightly coppery liquid that Johanna had drawn with her teeth. Their faces stayed only a hair's breadth apart as Katniss tried to catch her breath. "Will you really wait for me until I get back? You're not just trying to fuck with me, right?" Katniss whispered against Johanna's parted lips.

She felt Johanna's lips grow into a grin. "Why, would that just devastate you?" Johanna asked in a light, mocking tone. Katniss could feel Johanna's pouted bottom lip on her own.

"Yes. A little," Katniss admitted, her gray eyes dropping from holding Johanna's intense gaze.

Johanna placed her hand on Katniss's face and drew her in for another, rather brief kiss. "As long as you don't go and do something stupid like get yourself killed, I'll be there." The menace in Johanna's tone was gone. Katniss could detect the hint of sincerity, of worry, and it made her smile.

"It's everyone's job to keep me safe, remember?" Katniss teased. "But I won't make any promises."

"So you've said."

Katniss pulled back a few inches and cocked her head to the side. "Maybe one." Johanna raised her eyebrows. "That talk you wanted."

Johanna grinned. "Looking forward to it." Katniss nodded her head and turned from Johanna, afraid of allowing the unshed tears in her eyes to fall. She didn't need or want Johanna to see her cry. Not now. "Say hi to Cressida for me," Johanna called to Katniss. The brunette pivoted to see Johanna laying on the bed, the bundle in her hands on her stomach.

"You're impossible."

The older victor smirked smugly. "Make him pay for it."

"Why do you think I'm going anyway, brainless?" Katniss called back at her as she went through the doorway.

Johanna slid the ribbons from the pine bundle and set the leaves on her stomach. She brought the ribbons toward her face. Very carefully she unknotted them until she had isolated the green one. Katniss's. She wove the ribbon through her fingers and held it to her nose, inhaling deeply.

When Katniss exited the room she nearly walked right into Haymitch. Immediately she flushed beetroot all across her cheeks. "Haymitch," she squeaked.

"Mockingjay," he responded. "It's really you in there, right?" He rapped on her head lightly with his knuckles for good measure. Katniss nodded and scratched the back of her neck. Haymitch's eyes went to her lips, then back up to her. "Everything go okay in there?" His tone was light and teasing but with a touch of what perhaps was Haymitch's "fatherly concern."

"It's fine." Haymitch lifted a questioning eyebrow but said nothing. The fullness of her lips and the redness of her cheeks spoke for her anyway.

"Care to tell me what happened?" Haymitch inquired softly.

Katniss poked at the ground with her boot. "We kissed. A-and while we were ...kissing, we switched back." Katniss's eyes met her mentor's and they begged to not have to continue. Her embarrassed smile was enough.

"Is that right? Okay then Katniss. Let's get you back to your squad and then on to the Capitol. Plutarch wants as many young and attractive victors as possible."

"That explains why you're not going," Katniss ribbed, glad for the change in subject.

Haymitch huffed dramatically. "Are you sure Mason's not still in there?"

"Well I didn't strip when I said it, did I?"

Haymitch chuckled and put his arm over Katniss's shoulder as they walked. "And I'm very glad you didn't." Beetee rolled toward Haymitch and Katniss. "Katniss why don't you go on ahead? I'll tell Beetee what happened." Katniss nodded in thanks and took off toward the elevators. Haymitch returned his attention to Beetee and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tell me what?" Beetee asked. "Did you tell her I figured it out?"

Haymitch shook his head. "No I did not. It happened before I got here." Beetee could sense the half-truth of Haymitch's statement but knew well enough not to question it. "Do me a favor. Don't tell them it was on a delay, okay?"

"Why not?"

Haymitch smiled and clapped Beetee on the shoulder. "Just trust me. They're better off thinking they did it."

Author's Note: Thank you all for the continued and quite humbling support for this little story. This is the second to last chapter, and I hope to post the last one before the next chapter of Burn It Down.

Thanks to Johannas-Motivational-Insults for the verrrry helpful beta read. :)