Harry and Ron were in their office at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. They had just completed an assignment, and after briefing Gawain Robards, their boss, they now had to write up their reports.
Harry and Ron had joined the Aurors straight after leaving Hogwarts, as did several other students in their year. Ginny had joined them when she had finished, but then after the first year she had quit, and got an apprenticeship with Bill, as a curse breaker. While Harry was disappointed not to be working with Ginny, her new career path seemed a perfect fit for Ginny. She enjoyed the research about the history of the curses; then the chance to go and put her knowledge to work in the field.
Ginny found she enjoyed the travelling more than she thought she would. As a first year apprentice, she was mainly based in England, and working at Gringott's and occasionally the Ministry. Her second year afforded her the opportunity to work in Egypt, where Bill spent a lot of his time. It was at this time that she moved in with Harry. She decided she needed to move out of the Burrow, and when Hermione and Ron decided to move in together, the opportunity was too good to pass up.
Harry raced through his report, cursing that they both had to write out individual reports. He kept glancing at the clock, then scribbling furiously. Ron, who was pleased with their work that morning, was content to take his time, pausing to go and chat with fellow Aurors, and confirming several facts with Harry. Just as he was settling down to write his report properly, Harry stood up, signed his report, and put it in his 'Out' tray. He straightened his desk, popped a breath mint, went to the loo, and brushed his hair. Ron watched on, amused.
"Right, I'm done, so I'm taking an early lunch. I'll catch you later," said Harry.
Ron leaned back in his chair, grinning. "Ooh, got a hot date, have we?"
Harry winked at Ron. "You know it!" he said.
Ron wondered if it was with Ginny. Hermione would kill him if he didn't find out. "Any one I know?" asked Ron, trying to appear indifferent.
"Oh yeah, you know her. You're pretty close to her actually," smiled Harry.
'Yes!' thought Ron. "Well, I can't think of too many women I'm close to, one or two, unless you count Mum, and Fleur, and Aunt Muriel and-"
"It's none of them, all right? Look, I have to go, I don't want to keep her waiting," said Harry, anxious to get away.
"She must be pretty special, the way you're carrying on," cried Ron, as Harry left their office.
Harry popped his head back around the corner, "She is. It's your girlfriend, actually. I'm meeting Hermione. See ya!"
"Hey, wait, I'll come too," called Ron, starting to get up.
Robards took that moment to walk past their office. "Weasley, you're not going any where till I get your report, understood?" He continued walking, not waiting for a reply.
"Damn," said Ron, sitting back down. He hoped Hermione knew what she was doing.
Harry hurried downstairs; he was meeting Hermione in a little cafe close to the Ministry. He walked in and looked around, spotting her straight away. He went over to her and kissed her cheek. "Been waiting long?" he asked.
Hermione appeared nervous. "Oh, Harry, hi, no, I've only been here a few minutes."
Harry looked around. "There's a couple of spare tables over there, it looks like all the booths are taken," he said, pointing.
Harry agreed, so they went to the counter and ordered their meal and got their drinks. They made their way to a table, then Hermione ventured over to an occupied booth and slid in.
Harry said, "Hermione, I don't think-hey, what's going on?"
"Sit down, Harry," said Hermione, in a voice Harry knew meant no arguing. Harry sat down and looked around. "Ladies," he said in suspicious greeting.
Sitting in the booth were Cho Chang, Susan Bones, Padma and Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown.
"Harry," they all said in greeting, some friendly, some not.
Hermione could sense how uncomfortable Harry was, and knew she'd have to act fast or Harry would get up and leave. "Ladies, I'd like to thank you all for coming today-"
"You mean you arranged this?" asked Harry, surprised. Hermione nodded and continued.
"-and wanting to help Harry. You have, at some stage, been in a relationship with him and-"
"Not me, I just came to see Harry squirm!" quipped Lavender.
Harry frowned at her, and she smirked at him. They had never been good friends, and Lavender knew Harry hadn't been supportive of her relationship with Ron back in their sixth year.
"Nevertheless Lavender, Harry has told me he wants to find the perfect woman, so I thought, with all your help, you can tell Harry where things went wrong with your relationships, so he can learn from them, and not make the same mistakes," said Hermione.
Silence followed. Everyone turned to Hermione, to see what they were supposed to do next.
She cleared her throat. "Right, well, Susan, you were Harry's first girlfriend after Hogwarts, maybe you can give us some insight. Would you care to share?"
Susan winked at Harry. "That's not the only 'first' I was, was I, Harry? Yep, I popped his cherry. Is that what you say for guys? Anyway, we were both in training with the Aurors; we'd been paired together for our martial arts training. We hit it off and started hanging around a bit. When he confessed to me one Aurors night out he'd never, well, done the deed, I took it upon myself to train Harry in other areas of his life, if you know what I mean?" she said with a wink to the other occupants at the table.
Padma glared at Susan, "Pity you never trained him on oral sex, then. I've never had to give so many directions, and I work in the Portkey department."
Harry blushed.
Susan glared at Padma. "His tongue wasn't the organ I was concerned with. Have you seen his pe-"
"Okay, okay! I think we get the point. Padma, despite the fellatio fiasco-"
At this Lavender and Parvati snickered. Harry groaned.
"-you were with Harry recently, how were his dates before the, er-"
"Fellatio fiasco!" cried Lavender, Parvati and Susan, giggling.
"Ssh, Merlin, will you keep it down," said Harry, mortified as people looked around.
"Well, before that it was really nice. We had coffee, we went out for dinner and a movie, although I didn't really want to see that particular movie, and it went for three hours. Three hours!" shrieked Padma, glaring at Harry.
Parvati and Lavender just shook their heads, "tsk, tsk."
"It was Lord of the Rings! I was dying to see it, I'd been telling you that during our dinner," said Harry in exasperation.
"All right, so we have a communication problem there, that's something you can work on, Harry. Cho, is there any thing you'd like to say? You dated Harry at Hogwarts, then again after Susan, didn't you?" asked Hermione.
Lavender made the sound of a whip. Harry glared at her again, and she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Well, I'd hardly call either of those times 'dating', more like one date each time. At Hogwarts, we had a visit to Hogsmeade. It was Valentine's Day. I'd been looking forward to it so much, I thought I was finally getting over poor Cedric. We started out really well, then everything went wrong." said Cho, sniffing.
'Here we go,' thought Harry, unsympathetically.
"Well, what happened?' asked Hermione.
"You happened! I finally got him to take me to Madame Puddifoot's, and he tells me we don't have long, that he has to go and meet you. He made another date, during his date with me! I was devastated," she said, looking for sympathy.
She met six pairs of eyes who knew Cho's habits by now, and were unimpressed. "Heartless bitches!" she said.
"Well, I'm sorry to have played a part in that, but I'm seeing a pattern here, lack of communication. If Harry had only told you he was meeting me because I had made an appointment for him, things may have ended differently. Please continue, Cho," said Hermione.
"Hermione, I don't think we need to hear anything more from Cho. We didn't really go out anywhere, no dates or anything," said Harry, giving Cho a funny look.
"No, we just went straight to bed," said Cho, calmly. Jaws dropped as all the women looked at Harry, who blushed even more.
"Hi Harry, Hermione, what's going on?"
Harry looked up and jumped out of the booth. "Ginny! Look, Ginny's here, isn't that great? Here, have my seat. Can I get you a coffee, something to eat? Please?" asked Harry, desperate to get away from the table.
"Sure, I'll have a sandwich and a juice, thanks Harry," said Ginny, sliding into the booth. She greeted the other women. "Ladies. Cho."
Harry smiled as he walked away. Ginny had never been friends with Cho, or even friendly when they'd been in the DA. He made a mental note to ask her why, later.
"So what's going on? This looks like a serious discussion," asked Ginny.
"We're telling Harry all his dating flaws, so when he meets the right woman, he won't stuff it up," said Lavender.
"You didn't tell Harry what you wanted on your sandwich, or what kind of juice. More communication issues, Hermione," said Padma, looking at Ginny.
Ginny shrugged. "Harry knows what I like. What do you mean by communication issues?" she asked, frowning.
"Cho was talking about Harry taking her to Hogsmeade and forgetting to tell her he was meeting me later. Then Padma said he took her to see a movie that was three hours long," said Hermione
"It was 'Lord of the Rings'! One of the biggest movies out. How did you not know it went for so long, it tells you on your ticket, and the times are showing where you purchase your tickets," said Ginny, glaring at Padma.
"Yes, well, I really didn't look, did I?" said Padma, huffily.
"As for your Hogsmeade date, I believe Harry was, what, fourteen, fifteen? With no experience with girls, with only Fred and George as examples of how to treat witches, oh and despite the fact that he had a DARK WIZARD AFTER HIM!" said Ginny, getting heated as she glared at Cho, who glared back.
"Okay, okay, let's just take a minute and remember we're here to help Harry," said Hermione, trying to keep things calm.
"Look, I really don't know what is wrong with you girls, well, except for you Cho. I know what went on between you and Harry. Look, Harry is a great guy, and he's a great room mate. He looked after me when I was sick that time with the flu. He took me out when my Valentine's date cancelled on me at the last minute-"
"He cancelled on me for that! I had tickets to the Weird Sisters concert," said Padme, crossing her arms defensively.
"Well, that's not the sort of music Harry likes, he's more into the Muggle music, classic rock, I think it's called. Although we did go to Glastonbury Festival earlier this year to hear some new Muggle bands. Merlin, we had a blast. It's a Muggle music festival, a weekend of camping out and listening to cool music," she explained.
The other girls didn't look too impressed.
"Look, he rubs my back and brings me chocolate when I've got my monthlies, he gets tickets to Harpies games for us, he adores his godson, he always kisses my Mum on the cheek and eats her treacle tart," said Ginny in a rush.
"Well that's no hardship Ginny, it's his favourite dessert," said Hermione. Ginny turned to her.
"It USED to be, until everyone started giving it to him. If we went to a magical restaurant, he'd never have to order it, they'd just bring it, and he is too polite to say no. His new favourite is Tiramisu, but he still eats my mum's treacle tart, only because she makes it just for him. The idea of hurting her feelings is unbearable to Harry," said Ginny.
She got out of the booth and stood up. "Look, there's nothing wrong with Harry, he's a sweet, loving young man, who wants to be in love. You should stop and think of what he's been through, and his upbringing. Padma, really? If you're into girls, you should have been up front with Harry about that. Susan, you don't know how much you hurt Harry. He gave you a precious gift, and you took it, then threw it back in his face when he caught you sleeping with other guys. And Cho, don't even get me started!" said Ginny, holding up her hand as Cho opened her mouth. "Shame on you, all of you!" she said.
"Hey, what did we do?" asked Lavender, pointing to her and Parvati.
"Since when should Harry's love life be open for discussion in a cafe, and be the source of your amusement, Lavender. I'm surprised at you too, Hermione," said Ginny.
"Hey, are you leaving?" asked Harry, returning with her food in a paper bag, and her drink.
Ginny nodded, too upset to talk. "Why are you here, anyway?" he asked.
"Oh, I just came to get my next assignment, I'm off to Egypt in a couple of days, I thought I'd stop by your office and let you know. Ron said you were here, but he didn't say with who."
"Oh, okay. Here, I got you a ham and cheese sandwich, pumpkin juice and a slice of carrot cake, I know it's your favourite."
"What's your favourite dessert, Harry?" asked Parvati, nudging Lavender.
"Well everyone thinks it's Treacle tart, but really, I'm sick of it. I only eat it when I go to the Burrow. Molly does make a delicious one. My new favourite is Tiramisu," said Harry.
Ginny raised her eyebrows defiantly as the women looked at her.
"Now, I also got you an apple, because you usually get hungry about three in the afternoon. I didn't know if you would be in the office or home, but don't worry about tea, I'm cooking your favourite tonight, in honour of your new assignment. So no snacking, got it!" he said, teasingly.
Ginny kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks Harry, that sounds great. You're the best. Well, I'll see you at home. Hermione, I'll be in touch. Ladies. Cho." she nodded to them as she walked away.
All the ladies noticed Harry's eyes followed her. He turned back to them and saw them staring at him.
"What?" he asked, defensively.
"Is Ginny seeing anybody, Harry?" asked Lavender.
Hermione kicked her under the table.
"No, she's not. It's hard for her to be in a relationship, because she's away so much with her work," said Harry.
"I bet you miss her when she's gone," said Parvati, nudging Padme.
"Sure, she's my best friend. We do lots of things together when she's home. Look, I really think I need to get back to the office. If I'm going to cook tea for Ginny, I'll need to stop at the market on my way home. Oh, and get a bottle of wine. I hope they have her favourite. Do you think flowers would be nice? I mean, it's a big deal, getting another international assignment. Oh, what's the date, I might need to get some chocolate too," said Harry.
All the ladies at the table just stared at him. He blushed, aware he was rambling. "What? It helps her when, well, you know, it's, er, you know, time of the month."
Now they all stared at him in astonishment, which made him blush harder. "Okay, well, this was fun, er, good to see you all, ladies. Enjoy the rest of your day. Hermione, I will be in touch, you can guarantee that!" said Harry, with a glare at Hermione, and with a wave he was gone.
"Well, that was interesting," said Susan. "Why did you need to speak to us, when it's obvious he's in love with her?"
"What about her, did you hear her defend him?" asked Padma, chuckling.
"She did make some good points. Harry really is a great guy," said Hermione.
"Look, I don't like her, and she doesn't like me, I think we can all agree on that," said Cho, with a sneer.
Everyone nodded.
Cho's face softened. "Harry is a great guy, I think we can all agree on that, too. So, if it's Weasley he wants, and she's the one to make him happy, well, I hope it works out for them," said Cho.
"What happened with you and Harry, anyway?" asked Lavender. Cho sighed.
"Let's just say it involved leather, chains and a whip," said Cho.
" I didn't think Harry was into that?" asked Hermione, stunned.
"He's not, I am! Poor Harry had performance issues, and quickly left. Even now, he can barely look me in the eye," said Cho.
Every one at the table burst into laughter.
"So, any ideas how we can get them two together?" asked Hermione, hopefully.
Parvati asked. "Do they really not know how they feel about each other? They seemed so, coupley, don't you think?"
Hermione sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid they have no idea. Ron and I noticed it the other week. They really are-"
"CLUELESS!" shouted the girls, then they all giggled.