A/N: I caved, I like this game too much and FNAF 2 made me think of a scenario and it evolved into this here. Whenever the muse strikes or if people really want it I could make another chapter. Leave a review if you enjoyed or have suggestions for chapters!

Animatronic speak

Thoughts

*Warning, Mike got a huge ego boost. He is far more vulgar.* You have been warned.

"All in." Mike said. Sliding what was left of his stack of chips into the fairly large pot. Everyone was already in pretty heavily anyway and he got really greedy in poker. He'd buy this fucking hand if he had to.

"Dammit Mike…" Bonnie said, sighing and throwing his cards in the middle to show his fold.

"Mr. Mike that's no fair! Now I have to fold." Chica said, almost visibly sulking with the mediocre amount of chips she had left.

"Ye have no poker face matey. This be my domain. Call." Foxy said, pushing what was equal to Mike's stack in the, now very large, pot.

"My boy, you and Foxy can have this one over my dead body. Call." Freddy said, shoving only half of his stack into the pot to call Mike's bet.

"Dammit…twos." Mike said, throwing his hand down in a defeated gesture.

"Ha! Cast ye gaze to this mateys! Full house." Foxy began pulling the chips to her, but Freddy stopped her by showing a larger full house.

"I'll take those." Freddy was stopped himself by Mike letting a small giggle escape him as he grabbed his animatronic arm.

"Sorry about that, two pairs of twos or four of a kind if you prefer." Mike Said, brandishing his four twos to Freddy and smiling in victory when he heard Bonnie smack his head onto the table in exasperation.

Foxy sighed heavily and Chica whined softly when they saw the large stack of go to Mike's part of the table. "That's three four of a kinds in a row. You're not dealing anymore. Give me that deck." Bonnie said, grabbing the cards on the table an beginning to shuffle them to ensure Mike didn't win the next hand.

Now everyone, with cards in hand, smirked something awful when they glared at Mike. "All in!" Chica said, betting like the five chips she had left.

Everyone followed suit with everyone putting everything they had in, excluding Mike who only had about half of his chips in. He was staring over his cards in a way that made his eyes glow with mal intent. Almost sparkling with suppressed mirth.

"Full house!"

"Bigger full house!

"Four of a kind!"

"Bigger four of a kind!"

"Straight Flush!"

"GODDAMMIT!"

Mike was then viciously beaten by Bonnie as he hopped over the table and tackled him to the floor.

Some Time Later

"Bonnie lad, that may have been a bit too much." Foxy said, surveying the damage to her animatronic brother.

"I didn't know we had an off switch." He replied, refusing to lift his head and face the shame of being shut off mid-beating.

"I can't believe you dealt me a straight flush and then tackled me." Mike said, nursing a small bump on his head.

"Well Mikey, I suppose ye have to be headin' home fer the night? Couldn't stay a bit longer?" Foxy asked, wrapping an arm around the smaller man and planting a small kiss on his cheek.

"Sorry Foxy, boss wanted to speak to me when I got off my shift and he might think something happened. Maybe tomorrow." With a small wave Mike bid goodbye to his animatronic friends and headed home.

Mike's Crib

When he got home, Mike checked his answering machine and found a message on it from the previous day at three in the afternoon.

He clicked play and let the message play out in its entirety.

"Hey Mike, it's your boss. I'm just calling you to tell you that you are being replaced as the night watchmen. I'll pay you for the rest of the week but you won't need to come in because your replacement starts tomorrow. He's a veteran watchmen and his name is Jeremy Fitzgerald. You've been fired on account of tampering with the animatronics, particularly Foxy. Have a nice day."

Mike stood stock still just absorbing the phone message, not even breathing. He was being replaced for repairing an out of order animatronic that he so happened to care about. Mike's face contorted into one of rage and he ground his teeth so hard he thoughts they would chip.

"This is bullshit!" Mike seethed, grabbing his coat and keys while heading back out to his car. He was going to wait for his boss to come in at eight and give him such an ass whooping.

Back at the Pizzeria

Mike had explained his situation to the animatronics when they prodded him about it on his return. They all expressed similar feelings of anger and disappointment, Foxy in particular was fairly pissed she wouldn't see Mike again and was very vocal in expressing the length to which she was upset.

"I appreciate you guys wanting to help, but I'm going to talk to boss first and then I'll figure out if I want you guys to say anything. Foxy just wait in your cove and I am going to drag him in there to show him what I did. See if he thinks I tampered with the animatronics after that." Mike said, grumbling to himself at the end.

"Mr. Mike didn't you actually tamper with Foxy?" Chica asked, childishly tilting her head to the side in a way that alleviated a lot of Mike's anger.

"No, I repaired her original suit. I didn't tamper with a damn thing."

"Not that Mr. Mike, the other thing."

Mike gave her a confused look before it suddenly dawned on him what she was talking about. "That's not tampering Chica." He was unable to explain any further before Freddy pulled her behind their show curtain. Bonnie giggling the whole time.

"If that be tamperin' matey, then I'd like ye to tamper with me all day." Foxy said directly into his ear, rubbing a finger up and the side of his throat.

"Not now, boss is coming." Mike said, noticing how close it was to eight.

"To 'ell with 'em matey I'm 'orny." Foxy said, beginning to trail her hand down to the rim of Mike's pants.

Mike jumped from his seat at half-mast…

Lol, accidental pirate pun.

Would you go the fuck away?

…and pushed Foxy into pirate cove with a promise of some other time.

No sooner did he hide her did his boss come into the building.

"Mike, you're still here…why?" He said with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm here to get my job back. That's why."

"Oh, well, my decision still stands. You were a very good night watchmen. Surprised you're still alive honestly."

"Forget the greeting crap. I didn't tamper with Foxy you stupid cunt."

"Then why is it in its old suit?"

"Because she changed a few weeks ago? You fucking idiot. That's why you think I tampered with them?"

"Well yeah, all of the animatronics are acting differently. Through the security cameras we know you modified Foxy and that is grounds for immediate termination. Regardless of whether or not it's out of order."

Mike was directly in his boss's face. "For the love of god Deryl, I fixed the damn thing! She kept me alive for a few days and I actually became friends with them. Amazing how nice people are when you don't treat them like a piece of property."

"First, back the fuck up. Second, they are my property. Lastly, they aren't people. They're things." Deryl said, glaring straight back into Mike's hateful eyes.

They were stopped from confronting each other with fists by Chica sticking her head out from backstage. "Mr. Mike?"

Deryl's eyes widened in surprise and Mike calmed down when he backed off. Facing the chicken Mike composed himself and reeled his anger in.

"Yes Chica?" Deryl's eyes widened even farther when he saw Mike speaking back and forth.

"What's sex?" Chica was pulled back behind the curtains where Mike could just barely make out Freddy laughing his ass off. Or was it Bonnie? No, definitely Freddy, he just laughed out boy.

"MIKE!" Deryl yelled, shaking Mike from his stupor along with physically shaking him.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I don't think I need any more proof you tampered with them! Do you know what will happen to this restaurant if your sick little joke is heard by one of the customers?" Deryl yelled, barely restraining himself from fisticuffs.

"Relax man, Chica was asking something Freddy probably told her about what Foxy and I did." Mike didn't even think what he said was wrong.

"You did what?" Deryl said, absolutely dumbfounded.

"Oh yeah forgot to mention. Foxy and I have some pretty wild sex during my shift. At least for a couple weeks now." Mike explained, eyes closed in a massive shiteating grin.

Deryl's face of confusion and incredulous was something Mike would treasure. Suddenly, Deryl busted out laughing, actually falling to his knees as he laughed out the air in his lungs.

"Sweet merciful god…you need to be a comedian dude." Deryl began, wiping a tear from is eye as he tried to stand. "If this wasn't a children's restaurant I would have let this whole thing slide for that fucking joke. So that's why you tampered with them, fucking great man."

"No I'm dead serious. Got half a boner here dude. Foxy was about to give me a handy-j right before you came in." Mike deadpanned, completely stunned that Daryl thought it was a joke.

"Dude…stop it…your killing me." He said, laughing in between words as he struggled to stare into Mike's eyes finding he wasn't kidding.

"You're serious? You and the fox actually fuck?"

"Hell yeah! Tightest pussy ever!" Mike bragged, putting his hands on imaginary hips and gyrating his hips.

"MIKE!"

"What Freddy?"

"Chica can hear everything you say my boy! Tone it down a notch. Lord knows I don't want to hear it either." Freddy then receded behind the the curtain to do who knows what.

"They can…have…sex? Why…how…when…I just…" Daryl said. Confused beyond the point of return.

"I don't know about the others and I don't want to know. But Foxy can. So I'm just going to work here as normal, understood?" Mike said, grasping the man's face in both hands to make sure he actually paid attention.

"Y-Yeah…you'll be the night janitor…I guess." Daryl answered looking as confused as ever.

"My old salary too?"

"Yeah."

"Good, see you guys tonight!"

Before walking out the front door, Mike turned around and went backstage to talk to Freddy.

"Hey Fred, are we going to fuck with Jeremy tonight?"

"Maliciously my boy."

Eleven Thirty

Mike never thought he willingly get in one of the empty suits in the backstage, but by god he did and was it heavy.

"I've got maybe one good scare in this suit before I can't carry it anymore." Mike said to Foxy, who had been assisting him in getting her male suit on.

"Aye matey, it can be a bit 'eavy fer a human. But ye can 'andle me in the sack so ye should be fine."

"We've got a little time before Jeremy arrives." Mike said, facing Foxy with the suit on.

"Ye scoundrel, we just got ye in the suit." Foxy said, coyly smiling at the man.

"I didn't say anything about taking the suit off. I wonder if this thing has a penis?"

"Mikey! That be a bit too much fer even me. I can't 'ave sex with meself."

"Aww man. That would have been awesome."

The particularly weird conversation wasn't allowed to go any farther when the front door chimed a familiar ding that meant someone was entering the restaurant.

"Quick! Be quiet." Mike said, pushing his horniness out of his mind and straining his ears to hear any words that escaped the new guards mouth.

"I could hold ten of these things off. Four of you aren't scary at all." Mike heard Jeremy grumble to himself when he walked past.

Mike spoke as quietly as he could into the walkie talkie. "Good to go?"

Freddy's voice came through the other end. "You bet."

"Mission fuck with Jeremy is a go."

With Jeremy

Unbeknownst to Jeremy, Mike had recorded over the messages left to him and left Jeremy a few of his own.

"New message? Memories man, memories." Jeremy said, hitting play on the machine to trigger the message.

"Hey man, Jeremy right? Yeah, I just got to say welcome to Fazbear's and all that bullshit. Let's be frank here, we both know these cocksuckers are alive and gunning for you right? Well I expect you to know if you were a veteran guard."

"You're right there buddy."

"Anyway, I'm the security guard you were supposed to replace. My name's Mike, Mike Schmidt. I want to clear something up though, I didn't tamper with the animatronics."

"That makes two people who did. You guys have balls of fucking steel."

"I had a mechanical engineering degree and I just took this job to keep the bills paid you know? Well, after my first week shit started getting weird, but that's a story for another time. Pro tip, if you wait just a second after seeing Foxy sprint you can shut the doors and make the fucker slam into it. Found that out by accident and god was it funny."

"This dude is completely mad."

"Good luck, heard about when you worked at the old restaurant. You should be fine."

Jeremy had tuned out Mike once he learned he was insane and started watching the cameras, finding no real threat since it was Monday. He pulled out his lunch and began to eat a bologna sandwich when something Mike said caught him off guard.

"Daryl probably told you this, but just to make sure I'll tell you. Don't run out of power, the whole building goes out and Freddy WILL kill you if you run out. He almost got me tonight because I was greedy with the doors."

"This place has really hit the shitter. Can't say I expected much from them after…all that crap."

Jeremy was pretty vigilant with the camera, using it far more than Mike did. So much that by the time it was four, he had only twenty percent power left. But by that time he had figured out something was up with the animatronics.

He only saw it for a brief moment, just the quickest of switches between cameras, but he swore he saw Bonnie give him the finger.

"Give it a break Jeremy, the whole building runs on your power. It's just a far more important flashlight. What the fuck is that?"

Jeremy had switched to pirate cove and saw something being dragged out; it looked very familiar and once he switched to the backstage camera he saw something human shaped being placed in the backroom before whatever dragged him back there left the room. He caught Foxy on the cameras and became very curious as to what Foxy could hide behind its curtain.

"Oh no." Realization clicked on the man and he hastily played the final message on the machine, praying that nothing happened to Mike.

"Hey, uh, it's Friday…*BANG* BANG* BANG*…and that's the third time Foxy's pounded on my door. I might not make it through tonight and it's only three and I'm down to ten percent power…I don't have any family to say goodbye to and I'm really disappointed about that. But I have a few college friends who I was pretty tight with and SKRREEEEEE-" The message was cut off suddenly with one of the animatronics screeching their head off and apparently caused Mike to stop the message.

"Foxy must of got you. Poor dude…I guess it doesn't matter how good you are at this place. They get you anyway." Jeremy sighed heavily as the clock struck midnight and he began to leave the restaurant, but stopped. He had to know if Mike was in the suit Foxy dragged out. He had to.

Silently, he made his way to the back room, unaware of the four animatronics staring him down as he walked. He came upon the rigid, and filled, suit of Foxy and felt his sandwich rise to the back of his throat.

"Please don't be in there." Jeremy said, grasping the head at both sides and lifting it to find the bloody and mangled face of Mike Schmidt.

"Oh…my…god…"Jeremy placed his hand over his mouth, just barely holding back his lunch.

Mike's about to fucking hate me.

"BOO!" Mike suddenly shouted, reaching his hands out at the wheezing man.

"OH MY GO-" Was all Jeremy could say before the terrible fright forced him to throw his lunch all over Mike's face and suit.

Minutes passed in silence as the two men stared each other down, one staring in horror at what he did. The other covered in puke.

Mike said nothing, simply standing up, wide eyed and unblinking, and walking past Jeremy and into the nearby bathrooms.

After a moment Mike came out and walked right past Jeremy into pirate cove.

"Give me your hook." Jeremy heard him say.

"What fer? What's that smell?" Presumably Foxy, said back.

"Give me your hook. I'm going to murder that motherfucker." Jeremy's eyes widened ins shock.

"Why matey?"

Mike had most likely lost his patience at this point. "HE PUKED ON ME! GIVE ME THE FUCKING HOOK!"

Holy shit he's serious. Run Jeremy, run while you can.

Jeremy did run he ran straight for the entrance doors and fumbled with the knob. Only realizing it was locked and he had left his keys in the office. Jeremy then sprinted down the hallway, into his office, and then back out with keys in tow.

Just before Jeremy could unlock the doors, he felt himself get tackled to the floor and caught the glint of Foxy's hook in the moonlight with Mike's deranged grin staring back at him.

Jeremy screamed like a little girl and covered his face with his hands, begging for forgiveness from when he puked on Mike. In all his years of guarding the animatronics, this scared him more than anything.

"Stop screaming before I actually kill you." He heard Mike say, sliding off of him and sitting beside him. Using the hook to scratch his chin idly.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to puke on you." Jeremy said, bowing down in front of Mike as to spare him from death.

"I won't kill you. I deserved it for scaring you. This whole thing was a bust, well it wouldn't have been if you didn't puke on me." Mike said, resting his hands on his fists and flapping his lips like a horse in exasperation.

"Why did you do that? How are you not dead? Give me answers you fucking prick!" Jeremy said, pointing an accusing finger down at Mike. His previous fear of dying alleviated.

"Daryl wanted to replace me for 'tampering' with the animatronics and I wanted to fuck with you real bad tonight for accepting this job."

"The hell is your problem?! How are you in Foxy's suit without being dead?"

"Well, when you take the endoskeleton out it gets pretty roomy. Plus the animatronics are pretty chill."

Speaking of animatronics, Bonnie decided to show himself at the moment. Freddy still laughing his ass off with Chica on the stage. Foxy doing who knows what in the cove.

"Yo." The bunny said.

Jeremy looked at Bonnie with a startled look before sighing and glaring. "If you guys are cool now, why did you try and kill me back in the old restaurant?"

"For kicks. We were never actually going to kill you, at least until the murders" Bonnie said, shrugging his shoulders.

"So you guys have really been killing people this whole time?"

"We actually haven't stopped killing people technically. Relax! I'm kidding! Put Foxy's hook down." Bonnie said, throwing his hands up in a defensive manner when Jeremy lunged at him with the hook. Restrained only by Mike.

"I'm so done. Fuck you all. I'm out."

"You up for poker tomorrow?" Bonnie said, glaring sideways at Mike for a moment before looking back at Jeremy again.

"You fucking play poker too?!"

A/N: Done, yeah it's short I know. But the first chapter was the big chapter and I didn't want to drag out the chapter any longer than it needed to be. If you want, you can leave a review for chapter ideas or PM me them. I don't care. If it isn't my idea I'll credit you at the top. Hope you enjoyed!