AN: Okay, I am so going to have to have people vote on this 'cause, seriously, I am growing frustrated. Still have five different endings, still have only one couple (not Kiba/Naru. I like, but no. And, no, Naru/Hina is NOT happening. That's like Eww! They're brother and sister!), and still have no idea how to cut the limbs off my tree. So...If any of you have an idea (het or shonen-ai, doesn't matter to me or a story idea) give me some inkling of what you are thinking. Okay, enough of my babbling, let the story commence!
"Dad! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?" Hinata did not bellow, scream, or yell, but she could make her voice carry like nothing else.
"...Kitchen," mumbled a distracted voice.
She grinned. Her dad was cooking again. Gliding through the house on silent feet, she took a chair at the bar connected to the rest of the counters and, of course, the oven-stove. Arashi was deep into his work, a new western style food being prepared. He growled as he sucked on his finger, giving puppy eyes at the burnt appendage. Hinata tried not to laugh at his antics and barely succeeded.
"Daddy, Naruto's bonded himself to Kiba."
"Mhmm."
"Shino-kun, Shika-kun, and Sasuke-teme saw it and know about it too."
"That's good."
"Naruto and I were having sex on the couch yesterday..."
"Mm. Yes, that's goooo—WHAT!?"
"Thought that would get your attention!" Hinata crowed as her dad turned to face her fully. "Now, that you are not distracted," she glared at the man as he glared back, "Naruto has been bonded to Kiba-niisan and he's going to be coming here to live until the bonding pull is gone. We need to figure out if it's wise to let his big mouth see you, or if we should put you under a genjutsu."
Arashi rubbed his face. "How did Naruto bond himself to Kiba?"
"A bite to the back of his neck," Hinata stated calmly. Arashi groaned into his hands and Hinata had to hide her smirk. Served the man right for not telling his kids about things like that! "And Shika, Sasuke, and Shino saw."
Arashi let his head hit the counter with extreme force. Hinata winced. That had to hurt, she thought cringing. "But I have one suggestion..."
"Wha?"
"Tell the Rookie Nine."
Arashi looked at this creature out to destroy him. How could such a cute, sweet looking girl...be so—so evil?
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Kiba had, in the end, taken Naruto from Shino and carried him through the town to the closest point that they knew Hinata's house was. Which really wasn't that close, to tell the truth. Kiba sighed. All he had wanted out of life was a great partner, a nice girl to settle down with when he was of age, and a few kids. Nothing special, even if he really wanted to be Hokage, and nothing that he couldn't achieve.
Until now.
"Don't look at Uzamaki-san like that, Kiba-san. He did not do the bonding on purpose."
Kiba looked up at the bug-nin like he was insane. "I don't blame him, I blame myself, my Ma, Fate...I just can't believe how simple life was until just an hour ago when all I had to worry about was if my companion would actually help me get this girl. What's a guy to do?"
"Live, grow, understand, and smile," an unexpected voice sang softly.
Hinata was there in front of them, her pale, pupil-less eyes bright with laughter. "Come on, its time you two met our dad. And for a few questions, I'll think!" She grinned mischievously...Oh, they knew they were so gonna regret this.
"What the hell right, Shino, dude?" Kiba grinned. He loved this kind of stuff.
Shino nodded reluctantly, following the koniochi as she drifted almost aimlessly along. Shikamaru and Sasuke met up with them at the edge of the village wall, both leaning against the wall without expression. Hinata tugged them both after her as she danced through the outer gates, her smile widening if that was possible. "Okay, boys, here is where you hang on to me." She grinned, folded her hands too fast to see and they were gone in a near silent poff of smoke and leaves.
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"I can't explain!"
Hinata looked at Arashi, her eyebrow rising well into her hair line. "Shouldn't that be can instead of can't?"
"Well, no. I mean, I just disappeared right off the face of the earth for nearly thirteen years."
"You do know your mental right?" Naruto grumbled from his perch on the overly stuffed couch. He struggled to stay awake, his eyes almost completely closed. He yawned. Kami! He was so tired! He spared the other three completely dumbfounded rookie nin with a glance before feeling as if his head was ten sizes too big. Giving up for now, he closed his eyes, his body seeking oblivion even as his conscious mind drifted to Kyuubi and Hito-kun.
"Guys?"
"Naruto!" Hito exclaimed in alarm. It was settling in too fast!
"Naruto...What's wrong?" Kyuubi was just a plain bastard, THE Ass-Hole of the Universe, and a demigod-like creature with a temper, but he was not a heartless demon.
"It's the exchange! It's settling too fast for his body to cope and your power is too restricted right now to take the brunt of it," Hito explained quickly.
Kyuubi's eyes bulged. "No! I have never thought that this would happen...It's much too soon. We're going to have to do something—and quick—or Naruto won't live to see thirteen!"
"Get Dad, then."
"Yessss...I will have him informed."
"By tha way—what is an exchange?" Naruto asked blearily. Kami, his head was pounding...
"The exchange is—um, Hito, HOW do I explain something like THIS? There is no translation in any language that I know, and the Demon Common is, well, it's Demonic. Is it possible to somehow translate all of the necessary bits and leave the rest until later?" Hito and Kyuubi shared a look of slight despair. The Demonic tongue didn't translate into Human Common...unless—"The Americans! They make up words all the time to explain things or to name or label actions, thoughts, illnesses, and such. It's perfect, but it'll take a few hours—or even days!—to translate it all. Sleep, kit. Rest and let your body be restored. Some of it is going to hurt but you will be up and running in no time."
Naruto just rolled his eyes, snuggled close to the bars, touching fur and fire-like heat, and slept.
"I'll inform our good boss what's going on, you just keep chakra running full speed ahead," Hito whispered before forcing his chakra through the bars with a pained hiss. This was soooo gonna hurt later...
He opened his eyes, the blur of one, three, no, six people in the room. The one he was concerned with was the tall blond man and his adoptive daughter. "Arashi..."
The blond looked at Naruto's face, and Hito knew he had to have noticed that the brown eyes were definitely not that cerulean blue of his beloved son. "The exchange, it's come too soon. Ask Gamabunta the Toad Boss what that means," he whispered. With that, Hito let his head fall back down into the darkness of the blond child's mind with a sigh. Yeah, he missed being alive and all, but—damn it—he had taken to Naruto like he was his own kid!
Back with Kyuubi, the fox demon seemed sad for some reason. "Oi, bush-tail, what's gotten you down and mopey?"
"I am unable to heal the wounds, Hito-kun."
Shit! Something was really wrong if Kyuubi called him Hito-kun. "Ah. Well, let me help. I might have been an ANBU, but I did know how to heal then, and I still do now. So, budge your wide load over and let me take a look, huh?"
It took Kyuubi all of ten seconds to figure out that Hito had insulted the great demon. "You little ingrate, idiotic, prat-ish, stupidly minuscule maggot! Don't you dare call my ass a Wide Load!"
"Oi, what would you call it then? It's ten times the size of a whale's ass, you douche!"
"RARRWW! You bastard!"
"Wide Load..." Hito sing-songed.
"BASTARD!"
"Wide Load."
"Bastard!"
"Wide Load."
"PRICK!"
"Wide Load..." he sung.
"YOU, YOU, YOU—!"
"At a loss for words?"
"RARW!"
Hito chuckled. He so loved teasing that big fur ball. He lay back against the bars, his hands buried in Kyuubi's thick fur, scratching behind the great beast's ears. Kyuu purred, closing red eyes in ecstasy.
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"You're the Yondaime Hokage..." Shino had been delicately maneuvered onto the couch beside Kiba, Shikamaru, and Sasuke. He was stunned. The man was dead. Or so he'd been told his entire life. Dead men did not offer tea and candied sweets.
"Yes, I would think so. But I retired a bit abruptly, I might say." His face was curved into a sly grin.
Hinata smacked her dear father on the arm. "Oh, I swear, you are almost worse than Naruto, Daddy! Quit trying to scare my friends senseless or you'll be eating pickle relish for a month!"
Arashi looked down right horrified causing Kiba to burst out laughing, falling off the arm rest of the couch. Hinata looked at Arashi, Arashi looked at Hinata, then they started giggling. Hinata tried to hold it in but ended up hiccuping like a sick a hamster causing Arashi to guffaw. Shikamaru just shook his head, a small smile forming on his lips. Shino snorted so quietly anyone would be hard pressed to hear the small sound. This was just...
"...ridiculous," Sasuke snorted. He chuckled slightly, looking at the blond man with reserved eyes. He really did start laughing, though, when Hinata smacked the blond man upside the head with extreme force when he almost sat on Naruto. This guy was just too much.
He looked at Shikamaru and Shino, all three sharing looks of complete bemused amusement. No wonder Naruto was so loud and crazy if this guy was his dad. They just wondered how the title of Hokage had been given to such an unstable, clearly insane individual...Wait, never mind.
"So," Arashi asked as he stood, wiping tears from his face, "anymore sugar and caffeine laced food for my young guests?"
Shino shook his head in disbelief. No wonder Hinata was so loud and happy, her adoptive dad was as bad if not worse than she was. And Naruto, well, that was a given by now.
"Hey, um, Hokage-sama—" Kiba started but was interrupted by Hinata's giggle and Arashi's face of utter horror.
"Just Arashi, please," the blond man shuddered. "Hokage just sounds so, so formal and old."
Kiba just rolled his eyes. "Yes. Arashi-sama, what was that thing with Naruto a few minutes ago? I mean, his eyes were brown...and his emotions were really strange. Like there was someone else there..." Kiba trailed off with a terrified expression. "The monster..." was whispered through suddenly frozen lips.
Arashi studied him. "I'll talk to you alone, since you are the one to be bonded quite suddenly to my child. If you would please follow?" The blond man glided silently out of the room leaving one extremely confused Uchiha, a curious Nara, and one puzzled (though you would have to be able to read his mind to tell) Aburame. Hinata looked at her friends and sighed. This was sooner than even she suspected, but what the hell, right?
"Anyway! On to other topics: Tell no one, right? Right. Good, we've got that cleared right up. Time to get the rest of you home. I've got to cook supper and your parents might like you home. Sasuke will be walking back home with me, you two...BYE!" She touched their arms and they poofed out back to their previous point. Shino sighed and Shikamaru actually growled. This was getting old...