Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic…except for Neal, Dean, Haldon, Peters, Mr. Crocelli, Steven, Jeffery. If I DID own the characters (Uh, DPS ones, obviously!), I'd have Charlie all to myself! And the things we could do in that Indian cave! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Charlie huffed. "It's hard to think of yourself as anything when everyone's telling you what to do, what to eat, what to wear."

Mr. Keating smiled. "I know, Mr. Dalton. I went through it, but the tides are turning. Young men like you and Todd and Knox will change things around and people will learn that our young people have things…important things…to say." His smile faded as he pulled out a sheet of paper from his pocket. "Your roommate gave me this when he saw me."

Charlie felt the sting in his eyes as he realised what Mr. Keating was holding. "Look, Cap'n, I…"

Mr. Keating didn't pay attention to Charlie's protests as he looked at the letter. "Kind of a sad letter to write, wasn't it?" Charlie sighed. "Your sigh tells me so." This time Mr. Keating sighed. "'Without friends, nothing matters. Without hope…without life. Nothing matters anymore, 'Captain'. NOTHING!'" Mr. Keating looked up at Charlie. "You have hope, Charlie. You will always have me if you need someone to talk to. Mr. Crocelli as well. Your new roommate cares enough about you to call the one person he felt you would need. Talk to Knox as you would if he were here. Don't shut others out because you're in pain."

"Neil was the only person in the world who understood me, Mr. Keating." Charlie sighed. "He knew how my parents treated me and what they thought of me. Even though he was an only child, he understood."

"You have to believe that you are important, Charlie." Mr. Keating sighed. "Is that why you were always choking on the marrow of life?"

Charlie looked up at Mr. Keating. "Yes, Cap'n. If I didn't act out, my parents wouldn't pay attention to me. I wanted their attention and their love. I watched as they doted on my older brothers and ignored me. They didn't ship me off to Welton because it was the best preparatory school in the nation. My brothers went there so they knew the discipline that would be instilled. My parents sent me to Welton to get rid of me. My older brothers didn't go to Welton until they were juniors in high school, Cap'n. I was enrolled at age 11. Before that was a ritzy private school. They didn't want to deal with me, Mr. Keating." Charlie wiped a tear.

"You are not some toy, Charlie. You're a human and you need to acknowledge you are."

"I can't, Mr. Keating."

"Why not?"

"I can't let them see they've hurt me like they have…"

"But if you don't say anything, then you have given them the power over you." Mr. Keating sighed. He looked back down at the letter. "'Each of us asked what we could have done to have protected you that night. Should we have ripped you from the car? Should we have called you? Gone to visit you? Could we, the Dead Poet's Society, your closest friends, have done something to save you?' Don't play the 'coulda-shoulda-woulda' game, Mr. Dalton. We all wondered what we could have done, but we couldn't have done anything. Neil was the one…the ONLY one…that could have done something." Mr. Keating felt his heart drop a little at the sight of Charlie. It was hard to believe that the young man sitting in the cave with him was Charlie Dalton, the young man responsible for the now legendary 'Phone Call From God', the same young man who didn't care about the rules and sought the best way to break them, and yet still not get into too much trouble. "You've a whole life ahead of you. Don't die because Neil did."

"You don't understand, Mr. Keating." Charlie looked hard at his old teacher. "Neil was…"

"You're not Neil and you shouldn't stop living because he died, Charlie. By all means, hate him. Grieve him. Never forget him. But don't stop your life because your best friend ended his." Suddenly Mr. Keating trembled with fear. Something was nagging at him that there was more wrong with Charlie than just Neil's death and the being ignored by his family. "Talk to me, Mr. Dalton. What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean, Mr. Keating?"

"You seem very distant tonight."

"I've a lot of things on my mind, Cap'n."

"Talk to me, Charlie." Mr. Keating prodded.

Charlie looked at his former teacher and sighed. "When I was at Welton and getting the good grades, I at least got some attention from Mom and Dad. Now that I'm here, nothing. Every time I call home, they're just heading out the door for some important social or they're not there. The only letter I've gotten since coming here has been the scathing letter from William."

"Makes you wonder if it's worth it all?"

"Have you ever felt abandoned and alone, Mr. Keating?" Charlie looked down to the fire.

"I heard that the Native Americans believe that if you look into a fire long enough, you'll see your past, present and future." Mr. Keating softly laughed. He then looked at Charlie who was staring intently at the fire as though it were playing a movie of his life. "No, Mr. Dalton. I dare not say I ever felt abandoned and alone."

"Since Neil's death, that's all I have felt. When he was alive, it didn't matter if my parents paid attention to me. I had Neil and his parents, who doted on me as well." Charlie smiled. "I remember this one time I went home with Neil for the summer." He looked at Mr. Keating. "My parents didn't want to deal with me over the summer. They had their hands full with Michael. So, I spent the summer with Neil and his parents. Say what you will about Mr. Perry, but he loved Neil and he treated me as though I were his son." Charlie wiped a few stray tears.

"'You deserved to live. You deserved to be happy. You didn't deserve to be a prisoner to your father's dreams for you. You certainly didn't deserve to die. We, your friends, didn't deserve it either.' You're right, Charlie. You don't deserve to die either. So, don't. Find your voice again and live like you always have."

Charlie couldn't stop the tears. "I can't, Cap'n. I can't."

Mr. Keating reached out and hugged Charlie, letting him cry on his shoulder. "Yes you can and I'm just a phone call away to help."