A/N: Author's Note at bottom. Please read it, hm?

-Morris Code-

"KYUUBI TALKING TO NARUTO AND HITOGOROSHI."

"Hitogoroshi talking to Kyuubi and Naruto."

"Naruto talking to Hitogoroshi and Kyuubi."

Naruto thinking to himself.

"Regular talking."

"Two or More (Hito, Kyu, and-or Naruto) talking at once"

:Akamaru, Kuromaru, or a dog/fox speaking:

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Naruto sighed and palmed his face. Yesterday, all the newly bonded had confirmed that they could more-or-less understand the canine pups, some better than others. This morning, he was working with said pups, Kiba, Choji and . . . Sakura. Now he was wondering how he had gotten roped into helping Kiba deal with his problem. He could understand why the teen had come to him, Naruto was Kiba's alpha and all, but this seemed to be pushing Naruto's tolerance level for foolishness.

"This is kind of funny."

"I think I've found out why dying wasn't so bad. At least now I can't be forced into being an instructor of any kind."

"I think you two should shut your mouths before I let one of you drive this Fools Errand."

"What, and have to deal with pink-bitch and the walking meatball? I don't think so, tiny Tim."

"Kyu has a point, Na-ru chaaaan," Hito sang. The mallet that just happened to appear over his head, and just happen to fall on his face when he looked up, and just happened to flatten the little bastard was not Naruto's fault. Nope, not at all. Kyu rolled around cackling like mad as she watched her lover being flattened.

Naruto whistled a tune as he watched the pinkette fall over the obstical course wall with a devious smile splitting his face. "Choji! Sakura is your teammate. You've already gotten over the wall. Kiba can only do so much from this side, so help her out. What do you think team work is?"

Turning away from the sudden dog pile as Akamaru, Ichigo and Kiba leap over – and onto their teammates – Naruto focused on his other problem. "Shino, Sasuke, what are you two doing here? I thought you had practice with your sensei?"

Sasuke scoffed. "Our sensei won't be at the training fields for another four hours. It was either this or deal with Ino."

Shino coughed into his jacket. To Naruto, it sounded suspiciously like a chocked off laugh. " . . . It would seem that, while the jutsu is effective, Ino-san has more stamina and a higher pain tolerance than most training genin."

Naruto now felt his own lips twitching. Biting his cheek to keep from out right laughter, Naruto nodded as he tried to think of something new . . . something effective, really. His brow furrowed after a second. His eyes widened when a wonderfully insidious idea popped into his head. He even heard Kyu and Hito cackling in the background. So, this was all his own then? Excellent.

"What I have in mind make even Neji and Tenten scream in fear!" he declared to all. Kiba, Hinata and Choji shuddered, Sakura blinking in non-comprehension. Sasuke and Shino were actually looking at each other contemplating whether or not it was worth it. Naruto made a "move it" motion and Kiba's team continued on. All was fairly quiet, the morning a comfortable non-silence as birds chirped and the wind blew lightly through the tree tops. A screech of "SASUKE-KUN! INO IS HERE TO FETCH YOU, MY LOVE!" made them all jump.

Naruto bit his lip. "Or I have another idea, but Kiba will be taking the brunt of the blow out," he whispered so that Kiba couldn't possibly hear over Choji's bull-rage roar as his last bag of chips were soaked by the mini-moat.

Sasuke looked at Naruto desperately though his voice stayed monotone. "Do that one first. If it doesn't work, we'll resort to more . . . drastic measures." He gulped as another call came, other voices sharing in the banshee scream. "I just – I just don't think I could handle what Hinata calls a Gai-Lee Induced Coma Of Youth. Not right now."

Naruto nodded. "Alright. What you are going to do is spar at full capacity. No pulls on this one or I'll have to introduce you to Gai-sensei." Sasuke and Shino blanched, one much more obvious than the other, and Shino's glasses slipped down his nose with sudden perspiration.

Naruto smirked as he sauntered off with a jaunty step. When he was sure he was out of sight of everyone, he felt the sweating start. How in the pink panties was he supposed to get away with this? If the fangirls didn't ravage him like savage animals, Kiba was likely to break him into itty-bitty pieces, alpha or no.

Staring at the gates with something akin to terror, he gulped and henged into every fangirl's dream guy – AKA Sasuke – and slouched outside with a grumpy scowl and pout lips. The girls squealed, surging forwards. "Sasuke" hn-ed at them and at least two swooned as they all stopped a few feet away. Then, a smirk of such devious nature had them all salivating at what wicked idea could have made that look appear. More than one girl outright blew off from nose bleeds when he poofed in all his naked glory. Most of them had cameras out but not one shot was of Sasuke. No, Inuzuka Kiba was the one in his birthday suit now, flexing and grinning mischievously. Not only was Kiba better sculpted and brawny, but there was a wildness to his sex appeal that made many a fangirl switch sides. Those inclined to yaoi thought processes were getting doujin wrote out in their heads.

Naruto decided to really play with them and flowed into Shino, the bug boy having a few fangirls now. If he was going to get killed over this, it was going to take more than one to do it. It helped that all the guys he knew were well . . . endowed for their young age. Not to mention having washboard abs with perfectly defined muscles everywhere. Of course, he couldn't resist and did the same in his own image. The flashing of cameras hadn't stopped yet and even a few were exchanging rolls of film or camera cards.

To finish out the set of guys, namely his clan, Shikamaru finished the presentation in a lazy flare. When he finally went poof in substitution, the fangirls were all running off in a daze, most of them making their way to the photography studios used by the shinobi of Konohagakure. It would be commented that the ladies and gentlemen behind the counters had never seen such well-developed teens and more than what was recorded had to be sent home due to blood loss and a realization that they were lusting after jailbait, even by ninja standards.

He sat on the wall as he watched them all. He was just glad that it was mostly over. Tomorrow would be the fall out day when all the girls realized that they hadn't gotten one naked picture of Sasuke.

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It actually took until the day of Kiba and his team training under Tsume-san that there was a general outcry. Naruto and Hinata were sparring as Shikamaru challenged Asuma to another round of Shogi. The jounin was crying over his seventh straight loss before blustering himself into another round.

"That man never learns," Naruto muttered. Hinata nodded as she darted forward with her arm outstretched, two fingers glowing with chakra. Naruto bent back and slithered away in a tucked roll.

"Truly. Even you stopped playing mind games with Shika."

Naruto sighed as he dodged another glowing set of fingers. He knew he was one never to give up, but man did having his ass handed to him by such a lazy boy bite his ego in half. He slid into the splits and swung his forward leg around, knocking Hinata off balance when he caught one of her ankles. It didn't really slow her down, but it let him roll out of the way as she torpedoed into the ground where he had lain. Pushing himself to his feet, he was forced to jump straight up, rolling as he hit the ground and righted himself. Hinata was on him again, forcing him to dodge without touching, the blond swinging forward with an outstretched hand to repel his sister. She stumbled back and coughed before dry heaving.

"Oops," he mumbled as he rubbed his neck. "I hadn't thought I'd put that much chakra on my hands. It's a little less that yours, actually." He stood there perplexed for all of ten seconds. "HEY! Were you trying to kill me? What would have happened if your blows had hit?"

Hinata came up for breath, her eyes watering. "No, aniki. I was actually molding it into scalpels of a sort. They were blunt so don't worry."

Naruto sighed and rubbed his face. Damn, he was getting tired of things jumping out to bite him. It was annoying and just damn well frustrating. First Kiba, getting Ichigo, then the power transfer resulting in a whole new clan right under Jii-jii's nose, not to mention that everyone now can turn into women . . . and doesn't that have all kinds of pranking potential?

There was a shiver of awareness, something tingling up his spine akin to soul searing terror. He looked around him, his senses going haywire as he tried to pinpoint the sensation. That's when he knew. They were here to take his soul and burn it in the depths of Hell and make him repent for trying to fool them. Well, they would have to work harder than this. He was a King among amateur pranksters and this would be The Test to see if he could throw the guilt to someone else. They were . . . Fangirls.

"Uzumaki . . . were you the one to trick us?" hissed someone with a whispering, low voice. Naruto shivered and tried very hard to not just run like a guilty person.

" . . . What?" he asked, his voice cracking. He could see Asuma and Shikamaru moving away at a snail's crawl, only noticeable since they were now several feet away from the game board.

"Uuuuu-zuuuu-maaaaa-kiiieeeeeeeeee, ansssswer ussssss!" raged many voices in a tone that made the skin crawl and Naruto whimper under pressure.

"W-what d-d-did I d-do?" he cried in a fair imitation of someone who has been wrongly accused. Well, he sure as hell was not going to be caught by psycho chicks with demonic voices so he had to play it up. Poor Sasuke was likely to skin him alive once he was through, though. "W-wait! When! When did I d-do it?"

If it was possible to crawl from a movie into real life, these girls were it. Forget The Ring, that little girl may have been scary but times her by about sixty and you have an army of undead-looking teens with revenge in mind as they moved from all sorts of places, many he didn't even want to think about as he doubted his heart could take it. One even stepped out of a tree right beside him with pasty features and pale, blueish-gray eyes that looked insane. He prayed fervently to anyone listening to not let him die a horrible fangirl-induced death. It just wouldn't be right.

"Why do weeeee not have picturessss of Ssssssassssukeeeeee?" Naruto actually started crying. Hinata took one look at her brother and then pierced the other girls where they were with a stare even Shinigami knew better than to put on her face.

"Enough," she spat, her saliva actually a mild acid that made the skin rash when it touched those closer to her. Several cried out and shook whatever body part had been attacked. Was Naruto ever grateful that he had taught her to do that. "The fact that you are still going after a boy who is, may I remind you, dating not only someone else, but a close friend of mine, tells me you all need a psych evaluation. If you little tarts aren't out of here in three seconds, I will unleash Mother Nature's Gift on all of you still here. One!"

Naruto had never seen fangirls move so quickly away from anything, much less another girl. The blond gave his sister hero-worship eyes. She was . . . she was Goddess Supreme! He bowed to her, kowtowing like a worshiper of a fanatical god. "Oh, Goddess Supreme! I worship thee!"

Shikamaru was down there with the blond in milliseconds, Asuma soon joining. By the end of the week, every male ever assaulted by the Fangirl was making a shrine to their newest Goddess Supreme in adoration. Flowers strew her path and many brought her presents. Married men had to, of course, explain to their wives why a teenager was their newest idol, the story of how she had defeated an accursed army of Fangirls having been retold and exaggerated.

But that wouldn't be for a while and it was nearing lunch.

"I can't believe they keep telling people about me scaring off fangirls," Hinata scowled into her ramen bowl as she contemplated stabbing Naruto in the butt with a chopstick. Ayame laughed as she set out another bowl.

"It's just never been done before. I mean, how many people stand up to fangirls of all things?" Ayame swirled a fishcake around before eating it, Hinata contemplating her older friend. Old Man Ichiraku did good by Ayame, especially as the ramen maker was her only parent. One thing was for sure, his little girl was a world class ramen cook.

Finally coming to a decision, Hinata look Ayame in the eye. "Meme-chan, who do you think would be a good match for Naruto?"

Ayame stopped munching, looking at her friend closely. "Meh, Nata-chan. What are you talking about? I mean, you're twelve and thirteen! Why are you worried now?"

Hinata looked over all the people in the stand, the small gang that was her brother and several of their new clan along with Kagura and Sakura. "I'm just thinking how everyone has already started their wooing, talking to their 'one and only' in the romantic sense. I'd be worried for myself if I didn't have such high expectations. But Naruto . . . who our age would be worth it, Meme?"

Ayame started ticking people off on her fingers, not really getting much in the way. "Wow. Now that you mention it, I wouldn't pair that poor boy off with anyone his age or a year or two younger. Older? Maybe. Kurenai has been on-again-off-again dating Asuma, I'm not interested in someone who's practically my brother, Tenten-chan is slobbering over Ice Prince Hyuuga, and the only one half decent in attitude is Anko."

Hinata snorted. "Decent in the same sentence as Anko? Are you kidding? She shows more skin than clothes!"

Ayame laughed. "True, true." She snorted. "Or lover boy could date outside the village. I don't doubt that once he's somewhere less antagonistic, he'll find some pretty little princess and make her swoon. That or the scariest bitch in existence with a little Uzamaki charm under his belt."

Hinata grinned. "Both."

"Is that a bet, lil' Nata?" Ayame murmured with a maniacal gleam in her eye. Hinata leaned in close and grinned.

"Hell yes it is. Want to make something of it?"

Ayame grinned. "Give me two days."

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Kiba had known his mother was going to be brutal, but this made him too pissed for words. She had deliberately put his team in a situation they could not deal with, not now, not even with more teams for back up. This was unjust and cruel and she knew it.

"Kiba," whimpered Sakura as she slid against Choji's back. Akamaru and Ichigo were held in Choji's arms as Sakura did her best to keep the Inuzuka Pack from ripping them a new one. "Can I take them off now? It hurts to run."

Kiba felt his brow go up. Weights. They were all wearing weights with a Hinata-class genjutsu tag on each one. "Deactivate the tag before dropping them. Sakura, do Choji's ankles, I'll get his wrists. You, Choji, are to head straight for the safety zone. Sakura and I will be defending you this time. Your family jutsu makes you too venerable against these kind of opponents."

Choji nodded silently, the pups in his hands crying out as first the genjutsu tags dispelled then the weights drop with a thunderous sound. Unburdened, the chunky boy was able to more carefully cradle the puppies and they sighed. They had not been ready for this. Not even close.

Sakura had his ankle weights off seconds later, stepping back and disengaging her own while Kiba gave a feral grin. "You'll have to excuse us," he murmured as his own weights left a crater and a thick cloud of dust and earth, the three escaping in the scent and sound confusion with speeds almost unheard of for genin. It took almost thirty seconds for the pack to realize their quarry were moving so fast as to blur from sight.

Kiba was behind Choji urging him on, pushing him upright and forward when he was almost sent rolling as a pack member tripped him. Kiba snapped at the canine as Sakura and Choji blazed on ahead, the young heir striking out with Naruto-grade scent pellets. Flowers were scented in the air along with manure, water, garbage, and most notably a scent that was like rage manifest.

Kiba appeared with a mask over his face and shedding his over-scented jacket. The pack was suitably detained, Sakura and Choji at the safety zone tending to the pups and each other. The fights made on the way there were understated and quick, more Kiba dodging and speeding up just that tiny bit until he was almost running flat out. The speed Kiba obtained had him there in mere seconds, the feral teen breathing pretty regularly despite the intense run from one end of Konoha to the other. Sakura could hardly believe that he had done that, though, her mind running on how it was possible if the feral had only started weight training a few days before this. Something was going on here and she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"That was not the objective of the exercise," snarled Tsume at the three teens, Akamaru and Ichigo out from pain and exhaustion. Kiba gave his mother a stare down, not even flinching. He was under different management now and would not bow to another Alpha, not even his mother. He may lover her but Naruto and his new pack came first.

"No, it was to punish me and, in consequence, them for being on my team," he snarled as his hands went out to encompass the other two teens and the pups. "Is this how you will treat my Al—Naruto? How about Hinata and the others for associating with me and each other? Do you plan on taking him and the others down like you trying to do to us? I have seen your tests for yearsand you have never tried to do this to chunin much less genin fresh from the academy and green." Sakura gasped, Choji showing a look of extreme surprise. "If this is how it will be, I won't let my team be mistreated by my own mother. We will fail. Kurenai will know why. And you may never see me darken the door of your territory again."

Tsume growled at her son, not showing the heart break. She couldn't help but try and make him see reason – her reason – but that blond brat had made him different. Had made him not hers anymore and it ate at her that she was not a strong enough Alpha to keep him at her side. Hana might have been great, but her potential was not as an Alpha. She would be the perfect subordinate, a strong right hand. But not Alpha.

"There is nothing to change your mind?"

Kiba looked at his mother. "He is stronger. He is faster. He is wiser." Kiba rubbed his face as he showed – told – her what he meant, the speed Kiba was able to effect after such a short time, his ability to keep his team well and alive against impossible odds, his new inner strength that kept him from bowing to anyone who tried to dominate him. "He is Alpha and no one, not even the Hokage, can truly stop him. And . . . he is my brother and best friend. He is a fair Alpha, taking his rule as not a burden, but a truth and responsibility to make sure we are all alive. He would not turn away those in need, instead taking them in and making them the best they can be within his capabilities. He has made friends with those of power already and has yet to leave the village. All you have to do is ask him."

Tsume stared at the backhanded plea to talk to Naruto, to listen to Kiba's Alpha and maybe even become a part of his life again. It would be a different role, but he would still be her child, her young Alpha. "You are dismissed for the day," she growled.

As soon as they headed back to where they had dropped their weights, she crumpled to the ground, tears trailing down her face. She shook. She felt like it all falling apart . . . and she felt a fluttering of freedom. Her sobs became louder, harsher even, as they jerked her body and made her gasp for breath. She wouldn't have to be Alpha anymore, a position she felt she was inadequate for without her first mate. She wouldn't send her children or her sisters or her brothers to their death. She wouldn't be responsible for the lives of the entire clan all alone anymore. Hana found her shortly after, her concern enough to bring Kuromaru to her mother's side to try an comfort the hysterical kunoichi. But not even Kuromaru could bring Tsume to tell him what was wrong. Only the scent of Kiba and his team and pack pups led him anywhere and guessed that they might have had a falling out. He was only half right, but it was a start of sorts.

Kiba looked to his team, sighing as he ran a hand through his wild mane of hair. "I'm sorry about Ma, guys. She's been worried about me since I found another Alpha."

Sakura blinked wide-eyed. "New Alpha? Is it possible outside the clan?"

Kiba should have known that the pinkette would know something of his family. She was quite intelligent with a remarkable ability to put pieces together in correct order. He nodded slightly for her benefit. "But, if that's true, why haven't more tried to do it? Your clan is so strong and fast, not to mention well known for their battle strategy and ferocity."

Kiba rubbed his neck in a move picked up from Naruto. "Ah, now that's the clincher. It has to be someone we at the very least see as equals or enormously strong with a basic knowledge of the clan. Since not many actually know anything about the clan, not many can take the position of Alpha. Not for lack of trying, but most would rather die than be under rule of a tyrant. It is how the Inuzuka are."

Sakura nodded. "That would make sense. Not many are that dedicated to taking over the enemy." She quieted for a few minutes as Kiba looked the pups over, wincing when he found that Akamaru had a sightly crushed tail. "But," Kiba looked back at his teammate, "can you tell us who your Alpha is? I just assumed it was Tsume-san."

Choji munched away on another bag of chips, tipping his head as he studied his new friend. "Yes. Are we allowed to know?"

Kiba shrugged. "Not now, no. We are still too new for anyone outside our little family to know and if someone did find out, my Alpha could be executed for doing this without the knowledge of some of the higher ups. The other clans don't know because my mother keeps trying to fight for me and take me back."

Choji whistled. "Damn, Kiba. Your mother has really let this go too long." Kiba nodded at the assessment. "Then, if you and your new family need help, I'll be there. I might not be much now, but I think with a little bit of snitching I can improve enough to be a help."

Kiba grinned at them. "Thanks, Choji."

Sakura stood and declared softly, "And I will do my part. It is wrong to try and destroy your Alpha if what you said about him is truth. I think I might like to be a part of his pack one day, if as nothing more than a friend and companion." She bowed before heading off, her weights on and the genjutsu reactivated. Kiba shared a look with Choji.

"If only there was a clan of her, ya know?" Kiba remarked. "Once she learned that Sasuke was not an idol and that he was taken, she settled down to be one scarily smart girl that could do anything if given the chance."

Choji nodded and helped Kiba take the pups out for lunch. They caught up to Sakura along the way, inviting her to come with, her cheerful face welcome to the two boys who were getting used to this new Sakura. She wasn't demure, per say, but a lot less fanatical and lot more analytical. A blessing and a curse, for sure, but much better than a fangirl.

"Ichiraku-san!" Choji exclaimed jovially. "Three bowls of beef and one of rabbit, if you have it."

Old Man Ichiraku laughed at the teen, dishing out the four bowls of goodness. Sakura made her order for a miso ramen with extra onions and fishcakes, laughing at Kiba's face. When Naruto along with Shikamaru and Asume arrived carrying Hinata like a queen, Sakura gave them a puzzled look before asking just what had she, Hinata, done for such royal treatment. Kiba and Choji both ended up bowing before the Goddess Supreme, Sakura laughing uproariously and thanking her lucky stars that it hadn't been her there too.

. . . Not that she wouldn't try and get her hands on some of those pictures.

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Shino cracked his neck as he waited, Kakashi putting Sasuke through his paces with the Uchiha kata. Ino had been "tied down" with his bugs, the kikaichu running all over the catatonic girl's skin. Hey were having too much fun making her stay that way but Shino was in no hurry to bring the insects to heel. It was too peaceful.

"I'm bored," Sasuke groused to him once Kakashi left for a second, stretching out so that he could really spar against Shino. Shino nodded in agreement, testing a kick and punch combination he had been working on.

"Want to spar? Kakashi-sensei won't be back for a while." Shino's brow went up. "I've been giving him Naruto's experimental stuff."

Shino shook his head, laughter trying to spill from his lips. " . . . will he be alive?"

Sasuke snorted. "Unfortunately."

They stepped into each other, the raven sweeping out a leg. Shino flipped over him, hand already smacking his neck with a little chakra applied. Sasuke turned into a log, the wood splintering with ease. Shino looked for him, jumping to the tip of the staff that emerged from the ground, the raven spewing flames along the length of fire tempered wood. The brunet had to leap away to safety, his body folding away as a kunai pierced his stomach, bugs exploding with a buzz.

Sasuke cursed when he had to hold himself from the ground with the staff as Shino tried his trick, only without the long hunk of wood. Twisting, the raven set his feet on Shino's shoulders and sprang away, the brunet almost catching him in the face with a kunai that had been thrown straight up. The raven vaulted further on his pole, trying to find a good distance to do a jutsu. His staff went to his spine a chakra held it there, hands flashing too fast to see as he blew several balls of blue and orange fire at Shino and the kikaichu trying to move in on him. It was when Shino switched with his pole that he was defeated, the brunet helping his friend to his feet.

To their poor ears' abused state, Ino was once again awake and not exactly going rabid fangirl, but cuddling Sasuke no matter how he protested. Finally getting fed up, he forced a little of the poison that he had used on Kakashi on Ino and seconds later she was running for the nearest convenient restrooms. Looking at each other, they made like bats out of hell and ran, settling themselves in a dango shop, listening to the gossip.

One name caught their attention.

"Yeah, she fought them all off without even moving!" exclaimed a supposed "eye witness" to the scene. "All hale Hinata-sama! Goddess Supreme!"

The two shared a look. This was . . . odd. Well, odder than usual. By the end of lunch, both were seriously considering proposing to their sister but it held little appeal. Besides, Sasuke reasoned, I have Kura-chan.

When they returned, both Kakashi and Ino were yet to appear. Kagura, little imp, seemed to find out this information like a blood hound. She was wrapped around Sasuke, telling him what really happened when she had had lunch with Hinata and Naruto, the raven laughing. Shino shook his head, leading the way to the compound for a little private workout as he wondered what would happen next. Not every week would be this crazy, would it?

A shiver of foreboding told him to not ask such questions.

A/N: if it looks like it's a bit more aggressive and pissed off than usual, that would be because I am sick and cranky and not even worth the company right now. Hopefully, it sounds alright. I've only re-read it six times now. Still, if I have made another plot hole, let me know. I've gotten better at spotting them, but I do know what's going on and can (and usually will) over look them.

And, hey, let me know I have readers . . . please? A review with a smiley face or a word of wisdom goes a long way to helping me write. I know it sounds silly, but the more reviews I get, the more I seem inspired to write.