NOTES:

Sasuke/Kagura (OC) and Kiba/Ino and Lee/Sakura and Hinata/Gaara and Suki (OC)/Kankuro and Shino/Shikamaru(partially fem) and Choji/Ayame (Ramen girl) is a side pairing and Naruto/Anko/Temari and Neji/Tenten

AN: I have the worst luck with this story, I swear. This is the third time—THIRD TIME—that I lost all my notes on it. Four years olds and children in general keep killing my files.

Is very displeased. Oh well, here's a new chapter. Sorry for being so disjointed and short. v_v

1234567890

An hour before Kiba, Ichigo, and Akamaru left, Naruto had his brother make a clone. The henge into Tsumiko was almost second nature now and Naruto nodded. With a good luck wink and a covertly deposited scroll or three. It would look odd if a newly arrived older cousin just vanished for a short while …

1234567890

Kiba bit his lip to keep his words to himself, though a growl rumbled from his chest mostly on its own. Kurenai looked at him askance but said nothing. Tazuna was worse than they had first seen, if that was possible, and grating on everyone's nerves.

"Choji," Kiba bit out when the teen nearly went ballistic after being insulted to his maximum extent. The boy looked to Kiba, though, when he shook his head. "Do not kill him," the taller teen murmured just loud enough for Choji to hear. "He won't be able to take any one of your attacks. Sakura," Kiba motioned her forward for a moment. "Give him hell. Don't get caught. And, nothing lethal no matter how much you think he might deserve it," he whispered into her ear. "Now," he loudly yawned to make a show of it, "try to be nice, children."

For the next two hours, Tazuna had a series of unfortunate events that led to him tripping, smacking his head into low hanging tree branches, and cursing up a storm when he stepped on pebbles through his thin bottomed flip-flop sandals. Kiba felt satisfaction. Now if only Sakura could pull those chakra strings without being so obvious . . .

Choji was stomping along as always, right into a puddle and growling when his bag of chips went flying into said puddle when he tripped because of the stupid puddle. Snarling, he knew they couldn't stop to let him get another one out, he was far from a seal master and only through Naruto and Arashi was he able to do this little bit. Sighing in agonizing sadness, he trudged on. Only to freeze at the sound of chain links clinking together. With a groan, he was pulled apart, gore splattering the group, though Kiba hid a small smirk.

"Sakura, watch Tazuna and rip a hole in anything coming after him. Kurenai," he barked decisively, flicking his fingers in ANBU sign language. Mild surprise flitted through her eyes even as she nodded, her red eyes near glowing as she easily took out Ni while Kiba wrapped Ichi with the once conjoined chain, Choji having severed it with a well aimed kunai from the gauntlet Ni wore. They were tied and questioned thoroughly by – Kiba couldn't help the shiver – Sakura as Choji took over, Kiba, Ichigo, and Akamaru keeping an eye out. If he hadn't smelt the pups, we wouldn't know they were there in the trees. Naruto had really had Hana train them well.

"Tazuna-san, these men are not just bandits," Kiba stated clearly, concisely. His slitted eyes glittered harshly and the man flinched. "We would like to hear the truth . . . and without any embellishments."

Kurenai stood back and let Kiba interrogate their client, her lips pressed tightly in a thin line. Choji was hard in the face, his eyes decidedly less than friendly at the moment. Sakura trapped the two missing-nin before locking them into a pre-written scroll Kiba had supplied her with at one point earlier in the month. Dusting herself of imaginary lint and dirt, she trotted over, her pink hair swaying. Her glare had Tazuna shaking in his sandals.

"Alright, alright! I'll tell ya!"

1234567890

A minor interlude with the others:

Sasuke let his head hang. He was on boarder patrol with his team, Kakashi nose deep in his porn, Ino trying her damnedest to get into his pants, and Shino roaring in silent laughter. That last one had his brow ticking in unabashed fury. Shino was supposed to help him, not make it worse.

"Yo! Special delivery to Uchiha!" thundered a loud, obnoxious voice. Sasuke grimaced in thought of what the fangirls might have done now. Just what did they think when sending their less than private pictures, thongs, lingerie in general, sex toys, animals – both stuffed and real – clothes, foods, charms, oils, bathing soaps, and other miscellaneous stuffs?

"Here," he called, hand raised. As he had been sitting somewhere mostly unseen even by the jounin, he needed to make sure he could be pointed out.

"Awesome! Alright, this is from an Uzamaki-san. Not sure which one, but I guess you'll find out. Just sign here . . . here . . . and here. Thanks! Toodles, y'all."

The interesting delivery boy left, another case of something or other rattling in his arms. Almost dreading opening the box – if it was Hinata, he just might be screwed; however, if it was Naruto, it would most likely be more or less harmless in the end – but knowing he would have to. Gripping it with surprising ease, the raven made his way from the whispering gossipers all nin seemed to be. He snorted. Worse than Ino, Hinata, Sakura, Kagura, and Ayame-san at Ichiraku's Ramen Diner.

Closing his room door after shooing out a few camouflaged nin – seriously, this was his room for the moment; go away – he took a kunai to the sturdy wire enforced tape holding the cardboard together. Flipping back the top panels, his face glowed in joy. This was, it was—There was nothing to describe his joy as he cackled insanely. His life was going to be so much better now!

"Has insanity finally taken you?" Shino mused as he stepped into the bunk. He and Shino were sharing a room, Shino on top, Sasuke on bottom (it was not fair that Shino was now that fast) and therefore, both had warded the room to their chakra. Even if the door was locked, the other could open it from the outside.

"No, Shino! Naruto has become a god," he crowed, showing Shino his newest gift. Brows rose into Shino's hairline before he chuckled softly. Sasuke smirked as he lifted it out. "Time to test this."

1234567890

Naruto felt a shiver crawl up his spine. Shikamaru looked at him strangely as he paled. "What?"

"I think something horrible has just happened. I . . . I think a fanclub is being made."

Hinata chuckled. "Welcome to my world."

Asuma decided that silence was the best part of valor and made his move . . . only to loose as his piece was captured. "I don't think I'll ever win."

1234567890

Intermission over!

Kiba felt the intense urge to cringe away from the mist. It smelt of old blood and sickness and made him want to gag. He doubted sincerely that the others could smell anything out of the ordinary other than a slight copper tint, easily looked over and dismissed. Akamaru and Ichigo were huddled in his jacket and whimpering softly. He wanted to too.

"Be silent," cautioned the man in the boat, his eyes watching everything with an intensity similar to that of an old war veteran. Kiba nodded to his team and sensei.

"Lets go."

They sat huddled for a miserable hour of complete silence. Unnatural silence that made the hairs on your arms and neck stand up and only made the lupine teen tense and more than a little paranoid. At the rocky outcrop of shore, the boats man lifted his hat in a silent salute before paddling away. Kiba couldn't help but feel that a nightmare had begun and they were the star players in a tragedy. Kurenai – seasoned jounin and all – didn't seem to even register it. Sakura and Choji were fairly calm and nearly jovial. Ol' Tazuna was tense but that was to be expected. He knew something was off with his home turf. Kiba couldn't help but feel that horror awaited them.

Just out of sight from the house, along the trudged out bank side road, Kiba wished that he hadn't felt such a premonition. The giant blade that cleaved through the Sakura-Clone Kiwimari (spelling?) amongst a small POOF sound with all the silence of an experienced shinobi was his proof that things were going to shit. Only Sakura's quick thinking and precise ability let her get away. The scent of her blood said she wasn't completely successful but better hurt than dead.

"Tazuna!" Kurenai bit through her teeth as she held a katana against her arm like one would a baton. Kiba whistled out, Choji nodding as he brought out a bow staff, the metal telescoping out with a *snick* sound. Sakura was beside him with only a kunai, her left hand holding the deep yet non life-threatening wound caused by the giant cleaver that belonged to the silent and unknown shinobi.

"Well, well. Three gaki, two inu and a Kunoichi in a tree. Is this the best they had to offer?"

Kurenai was indeed in a tree, facing off with a very tall, terrifyingly serene man. Kiba let Akamaru and Ichigo bound away from him, the two doing their scouting duties so that he wouldn't have to. Ichigo gave yip as she ran, reporting a second close by, Akamaru running from the opposite direction as they charged the unknown in the tree. He swiped out with his cleaver, the two images disintegrating into two neatly halved leaves. "Interesting technique, Yuhi Kurenai-san. Illusions are your forte, are they not?"

"Of course, Momochi Zabuza-san. Just as Silent Killing is yours. Please, let us pass."

There was a short, hard bark of laughter from the man Momochi Zabuza. "That I cannot do. Just let me kill the old man and our fight won't happen."

The red-eyed woman sighed. "I am unable to do as you ask, Momochi-san." She flashed through hand signs too quickly to see, her eyes seeming to glow. Then, with a leap, the deadly dance began, Kurenai calmly keeping the man away from her client and students. Water clones took up where the man was unable to, their jeering annoying and ugly. The sudden pressure of killing intent, though, got the three genin the worst.

Sakura shook as tears traveled in silver patterns down her face, her wide green eyes muted and glassy. Choji was physically ill, loosing his lunch which was no mean feat. Kiba felt bad, yes, but after dealing with Arashi-san and Naruto in full out "fight-to-the-death" mode, the emotion didn't quite effect him as badly. When faced with the Kyuubi verses a human with killing intent, Kyuubi won hands down.

"Sakura, keep Tazuna safe. Choji, cover her," Kiba ordered as he thrashed the water clones, his speed almost faster than the missing nin he was facing. Naruto had really put him through his paces and now it was all paying off. Screw that sissy crap of Kurenai, let Naruto train the new recruits! A grin covered his face at the odd thought in the midst of full out battle.

"Don't loose focus, boy," purred a voice in his ear moments before his clone took out the mizu bushin at his back. He sighed in relief. That had been stupidly close and naïve of him.

"Kiba! Can we take them off?" Choji asked lowly, depending on Kiba's keen sense of hearing. Kiba blinked as his eyes widened. He had forgotten those damned things completely . . .

"TAKE 'EM OFF!" he roared, shedding his own in the middle of the road, the weights thudding dully with small clouds of dust. Sakura and Choji did the same, theirs not quite as impressive, but still dangerously giving an advantage. Kiba gave a feral grin as he disappeared from sight only to reappear behind a bushin, then another, and another. Choji was right behind him, slashing viciously. Sakura spun around their client, taking down three in a matter of moments. They were finally doing something, doing it well, and as close to perfect as one could get considering they were greenhorn genin with little field experience.

Kurenai did nothing but blink as she made another illusion, one that finally, successfully caught the Missing S-Class Nin in it's web. With a swift hand, she knocked him unconscious before pulling some of her clothing ribbon to tie him solidly, chakra spiraling into the cloth. The screech of surprise was, well, surprising since they were only anticipating Zabuza. The sight of Akamaru and Ichigo dragging a masked nin just their age, one having, by some strange chance, conjured what looked like Naruto's Industrial Grade No-Ninja Twisty Wire. Odd name, damn near perfect results.

"What the hell?" Kiba mumbled as Kurenai toted the unconscious missing nin easily over her shoulder. The downed and still conscious nin struggled harder, the IGNNTW (I'm not typing that every time) tightening like a snake would. "First, you take down the dude with the giant ass sword in like less than fifteen minutes and Akamaru and Ichigo pop out of the brush with another nin only, he is in a mask!" He raked a hand through his hair. "What the hell? I thought these guys were supposed to be hard to beat!"

Kurenai chuckled. "Zabuza-san has a weakness against Genjutsu, something I am proficient in creating. If I had used brute force, I would have lost within moments. This one, though . . . I am not so sure. Why not ask your companions?"

:He smells of the tall bloody one, Nii-kun,: Ichigo grumbled, sprawled like a living rug in the middle of the road. Her tongue lolled as she caught her breath.

Akamaru yipped in agreement. :Of course, catching this one was no fun . . . he used NEEDLES!:

Kiba snorted, well aware of Akamaru's intense dislike of needles of any kind. "Yeah, but what did you two do?"

Flashback . . .

Akamaru pressed a leaf to his head once he was out of sight of the humans, transforming into a child-like form. Ichigo too was as a child, a small girl, tears coming to her eyes until she smiled. Deciding to capture the other nin they had smelt not far off, the two took off running, giggling like the kids they currently were. Feet from the ninja's hiding place, Ichigo tripped.

"Ah!" she cried out as tears once again filled her eyes. Her hands were holding her knee as if she had scraped it. "Nii-chan, it hurts," she whimpered.

Akamaru felt his hair stand on end a little. Ichigo was much too good at faking things like this. However, he decided to go into panic mode, running around and gibbering until he stumbled upon the enemy, tears in his own eyes as he clutched to the kimono sleeve from his shorter height. "Pwease! Help my sister! She gots hurt!"

The masked face tilted, the scent changing from readiness to what Akamaru had dubbed the "AW!" emotion. He could practically see the big gushy hearts in the masked ninja's hidden eyes. "Where is she, little one?"

Akamaru gave a big toothy grin of his five-six year old human body. "Thank you, Ninja-chan!"

Taking the male's hand, Akamaru ran as fast as he supposed a child would, wholly inadequate compared to the ninja as his back, but convincing. When they reached Ichigo, she was whimpering pitifully as tears ran down her face. Akamaru let go to gasp as the nin approached, turning his back to Akamaru. His mistake.

With a tiny flourish, Akamaru unfurled a scroll and Naruto's Industrial Grade No-Ninja Twisty Wire held within. Unfortunately for Akamaru, the nin heard him and threw needles in his direction, leaving Ichigo on the ground. That, however, didn't even begin to stop her little devious mind. She leaned forward and bit the nin's hand, the ninja giving an odd gurgled squeak. It might have been because a mouth full of needle sharp fox teeth embedded themselves in his hand and stuck there.

Wasting no time, Akamaru lassoed the nin with the IGNNTW as enemy-nin slapped Ichigo off his hand. That was the end of it. Reacting to the chakra in his system, the wire slithered from Akamaru's hand to securely wrap the nin from head to toe, binding so tightly that movement was near prohibited. Time to go find Kiba, then.

END Flashback

Kiba snorted. "Seriously?"

Their nods had him cackling madly, unable to do more than hold his sides in mirth. Choji stifled a grin, picking up his and Sakura's weights. The pinkette chuckled. She and Choji had no idea of what was said, but if those two pups did it, it must have been hilarious . . . if testament of a nearly asphyxiated Kiba wasn't enough.

He hadn't recovered too much more even after they got to Tazuna's house. He would shake his head every so often and chuckle. Inari didn't bring down his mood, either, the dog-nin just grunting and fluffing the boy's hair. He just knew that this trip was going to be weird in odd and unexpected ways.