Did I mention how much I absolutely love reviews? I just want to know what people think about my work. It's obvious to me that my writing can be improved and I'm definitely trying, but feedback from people besides myself is always great. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Also, just letting you know I have no idea how I'm even going to end this story but it won't be very soon. I have a few possibilities bouncing around in my head but no definites. Smut in this chapter*
When I woke up, my head hurt slightly, and I only remembered little snippets of last night. Wow, this is what only one drink did to me? I definitely would not handle my alcohol well if I drank too much of it. As I became more awake, I realized that I was in Allen's apartment. His bedroom had only a bed, a nightstand, and a closet filled with clothes. As I crawled out of the bed I noticed my scabbed over thigh. They were so obvious. Allen saw them. How could I have forgotten? Oh no. What was he going to say?
I looked through his closet and found a t-shirt to wear and then walked into the kitchen where Allen was cooking some breakfast.
"Hey. Watcha making?" I asked.
"Bacon and eggs. Nothing too fancy." He turned around to face me. "Oh your clothes are in the wash right now."
"Ok," I replied. I was waiting for him to bring the cuts up but he didn't even glance at them. "Are we going to talk about the bright red elephant in the room?"
"What do you mean?" he asked as he moved the bacon from the pan to a plate.
"I know you saw my thigh. You had to have when you undressed me last night."
Allen sighed and kept quiet while he finished with the breakfast. I took a seat at the small table in the living room. The whole apartment wasn't very big. The living room and kitchen were morphed into one with the table in between. The living room had a decent tv and a couch with a few books on a coffee table. The kitchen was just a stove, refrigerator, and sink and dishwasher. There was an empty bedroom with a futon and one bathroom and shower. It was pretty impressive since he was working at some hardware store and was also enrolled in online college courses.
Allen brought two plates with bacon and eggs to the table as well as forks and some milk.
"I wasn't going to talk about the cuts," he started, "because you had cut yourself so many times and it looked really bad. I knew that something horrible must have triggered you and then I thought that these probably happened after you came out. Then I thought that you might think I'm disappointed in you or mad but I'm not so I wasn't going to bring it up. It you'd like to share with me why you did it, that's fine, I'm here to listen. I love you Justin, I really do."
He was doing it again. Being all kinds of perfect and wonderful and nice to me. I felt like I didn't deserve his love. He should be giving it to someone worthy. Not some boy who cuts himself because life sucks. I felt pretty pathetic. But Allen was doing that thing where he was all kinds of perfect and nice and so I decided to share with him the dream I'd had. I told him with great detail, trying to describe how it felt and how it looked so he got a deep understanding of how it made me feel.
"When I woke up, all I could think about was you being dead. Your cold lifeless body, how scared I was. I couldn't get it out of my head. It felt so real, it all felt so real. I couldn't get it out of my head. I knew you were alive but it still felt so real and raw and terrifying."
I didn't realize that while telling the story I had started to cry. Allen immediately came over to me and hugged me and stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head while I hugged him back and just breathed his smell in and focused on being wrapped in his arms. I stayed there, feeling the warmth of his body and being safe until I realized that my butt was no longer touching the chair and Allen was carrying me to the bedroom. He tossed me onto the bed causing me to giggle.
"Let's finish what you tried to start last night," Allen whispered as he straddled my hips. He pushed his hips into mine. His warmth pressed into me, making me go hard. I tried to stifle a moan but failed. He started to leave little kisses all along the lobe of my ear. It tickled and I reacted by squirming underneath him, making our hips grind against each other again. My breath hitched in my throat and all I could think about was me and Allen being together and how great it was to be this intimate with a person. His hands started to rub over my chest and my nipples. He was now kissing along my jaw and then down my neck.
Once again, I was moaning into him and I had started panting. He knew all the right things to make me go absolutely crazy. I started to think Allen was going to keep going agonizingly slow until he reached my manhood. I felt myself growing impatient until he started to pull off my boxers while slipping out of his own pants. He started to slide into me, going as far as he could then pulling almost all the way out, getting a little faster and pushing a little harder each time. The whole effect was tantalizing, really. After a few minutes, though it felt like a century, his speed had picked up.
He kept hitting a certain spot inside of me that sent oh so delicious waves of pleasure coursing through me. All too soon, I felt the familiar climax into ecstasy. I felt him release himself into me as I came. Without even hesitating, he moved around until he was on his hands and knees.
"Justin, please; I need to feel you inside of me." His begging and pleading was intoxicating and arousing. The thought that all of his distress and frustration was because of me gave me a rush. It was enough for me to start pushing myself into him, back and forth, back and forth, until I reached a comfortable and pleasurable rhythm.
"Oh -fuck! Oh Justin!" his moans were music to my ears. He was so warm and tight around me. Once again I found my release. When we were both finally satisfied we started to cuddle. I found my hands making their way up to his face. I touched his cheeks and was so mesmerized by his beauty. He was a god, a glorious masterpiece that was such a privilege to behold. And here I was, just some plebeian, unworthy of such greatness.
"I don't deserve you." I didn't really mean to say the words. They had just tumbled out of my mouth. But that happened to everyone, didn't it? Simple little mistakes like that really showed how human we all were. Little tiny errors to remind us that, no, we couldn't all be perfect and were tiny reminders that all of our perfectionism could be forgotten and replaced by effort and the application of oneself. Of course, some people had troubles accepting that it was possible for them to have flaws and imperfections. I realized that I was one of those people. It was so obvious, too. I freaking cut my skin open and left disgusting scars all over my body because all of my little insecurities and flaws were slowly burning away at me and I just couldn't accept them.
"Justin, what the hell? You don't deserve me? That is such bullshit and you know it. Why do you have such a low self worth? Why don't you feel good enough, adequate? Do you realize how much I love you. I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much as you. I feel so lost and broken when I think of what you do to yourself and the fact I could lose you. You have become a huge part of my life. I need you Justin. Don't you see that? Don't you understand how perfect you are for me? There is no one in this relationship who is settling. We are in this relationship because we complete a puzzle together. We fit, we work-"
"I, I'm sorry, it's just-"
"No! Don't be sorry. Just, start loving yourself. You're such a bright, intelligent young man. Not to mention you blow away any other male in terms of attractiveness. You owe it to yourself to think higher of yourself. You owe it to yourself to realize how great you are." And with that, he gave me a kiss on the lips. My increased heartbeat and the butterflies in my stomach were another reminder of me just being a human.
When I entered the sub shop, my parent were absolutely furious. I had forgotten to text them last night and I was absolutely terrified that my dad was going to know what my activities this morning were.
"Justin Russo! It is one in the afternoon, where the hell were you, young man?" His tone of voice and language was startling.
"I-I'm sorry, I just lost track of time last night and this morning and-"
"And just what were you doing that caused you to lose your self awareness?"
"Were you drinking last night? Is that what it is? You were drinking weren't you?" My mom joined in.
"I wasn't, I just, was having fun with Zeke and some other guys from my robotics club. We spent a lot of the time arguing over advanced differential equations and playing Dungeons and Dragons. I didn't wake up until after eleven and didn't think about checking in with you guys because my phone wasn't on me the whole time."
Stop talking, Justin! They can tell your lying. You're spending too much time with little details trying to make up for the lack of truth to back up your story. You idiot.
I tried to mentally tell myself to shut up and stop being such an asshole but my thoughts were too loud and not even my parents nagging was quieting them. I sighed and pretended to listen. They finally quit over-reacting and let me off with a warning, although they did take my wand away. That reminded me of something extremely important. Well two things.
1. I was a wizard and I hadn't told Allen.
2. If our relationship got serious, we couldn't ever be together unless I gave up my powers.
That wouldn't really be difficult, considering that while I had become more wrapped up into him, I had cared less about my wizard studies and if my heart and brain were agreeing with each other then I knew that I loved him enough to care less about whether or not I had my powers. It's funny, really. Three months ago all I could possibly care about was winning and being the only wizard and beating freaking Alex, but now, that was of the least importance. My whole mindset had been altered by the touch of one person. Pretty bizarre. The things love does.
Would I really need to tell Allen. Of course I immediately worried about things such as how he would probably think I'm just a weird nerd who needs to tone down my LARPing and not let real world and fantasy morph. Or he would think I'm batshit crazy and drive me to the nearest mental hospital. It was such an odd thing. How would I approach it? Maybe I could just avoid it all together. If I went straight to my dad and told him that I didn't want to have my powers anymore maybe that would work. That actually seemed like maybe it was doable. But maybe not.
What if me and Allen didn't work out? What if we didn't last? What if I risked it all and ended up getting screwed? It was a very real possibility. The bigger the risk, the worse the possibilities, but the better the reward if overcome. I could do it though. Maybe I could just bypass my dad all together and go to Professor Crumbs. Ha, imagine his reaction to his most promising student giving it all up because of some relationship. A relationship that had no clues about what possibilities and outcomes in held.
God, how did I not even think of the whole wizard thing. I was so stupid. The definition of idiocy. Maybe I could start by telling Allen. Holy shit, I didn't even want to think about how that would end up going. I went over it over and over again in my head. Running through it and running through it, deciding the best method to tell him. Honestly, there wasn't really an ideal way to say, "Hey guess what, I'm a teenager with cool magical powers and a wand."