"I'm sorry, Gon."

"There's no need to apologize!"

"Yes there is. I… I have no right to be your friend."

"Killua, I already told you; you don't need to earn the right to become my friend. You already are my friend, simple as that."

"But… you saved me from myself. And I was never once able to save you."

"You've saved me plenty of times!"

"Physically, yes. But because I wasn't strong enough, this world destroyed a part of you."

"…No, Killua. I was the one who wasn't strong enough. I should've listened to you."

"It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either."

"Yes it is! Even so… if I promise to be strong enough to stand beside you… Can I stay by your side?"

"If you really blame yourself, I'll punish you."

"Nothing you say will change my mind about that."

"Fine. Your punishment is to stay by my side forever and ever, no matter what."

"That isn't a real punishment, Gon. I want to do that anyway!"

"I don't care if you think it's a punishment or not. Through this life, through the next life, for all of eternity… Promise me."

"That's too selfish, Gon. It's selfish for the both of us."

"Promise."

"…Okay. I promise."

Killua rolled over in the top bunk, mumbling something about a promise. Gon looked up, and for a second he felt disoriented, as if he shouldn't be in a military camp, he should be somewhere… else. Promise me. It rolled around in his head as clearly as if he'd heard himself say it aloud, but thinking about it was starting to give him a headache. He shoved away the strange feeling; Killua was just dreaming about promises. It had nothing to do with Gon.

What did have to do with him, though, was what Private Tonpa had said when he'd crossed the finish line after his second run the previous day. He hadn't mentioned it to Killua, because it was a problem Gon wanted to deal with himself. He'd dealt with bullies on the island (although the bullying was never really directed at him) and he felt he could do an adequate job dealing with them here.

"Hey, faggot." Had been the first words out of Tonpa's mouth. Gon had looked up in surprise, still wondering what the word everyone kept throwing around was. Was it like a fat maggot? He'd only heard it once before, but that had been an old man on the island talking about a bundle of sticks. For some reason, he had the sense that the word 'faggot' in the military was a lot more offensive than a bundle of sticks.

"Hi! I'm Gon!"

Menchi had seemed nice despite the fact that she called him names, so maybe Tonpa was like that too. Tonpa's face had darkened and his lips had curled in disgust.

"I don't want to know your name, you disgusting homo. People like you need to learn where you belong. Meet me, I'm Tonpa, here at 0200 tonight or your boyfriend is going to get it."

Gon still had no idea what he was being accused of. Boyfriend? Did Tonpa mean Killua? Killua wasn't his boyfriend! Killua was just his friend! He highly doubted Tonpa would be able to carry out a threat against Killua, but he'd needed to complete the course and Tonpa was already walking away so he couldn't say that. He'd decided to go meet the old, plump man anyway, just to try and clear up the fact that Killua wasn't his boyfriend. He didn't care if anyone saw them that way, but Killua probably would. Killua seemed like the type to brood over things.

Which brought him to present time. He'd slipped on clothes as quietly as he could, making sure he didn't wake any of his squad mates, then slowly let himself out. He wondered how Tonpa could stand getting up now when they already had limited sleeping time. However long this took, they'd have at most less than two hours of sleep time left.

"Pvt. Tonpa!"

Gon called out the name merrily as he finally reached the course's finish line. Tonpa was nowhere to be seen, despite the fact that Privates were supposed to be cordial and on time. Well, it wasn't like it was formal, so there was no point in complaining. Gon let a sigh, looking up at the stars. Oh! The Big Dipper! He grinned, wondering if Aunt Mito had looked at it that night from the island. Then he wondered… had Ging ever acknowledged it? He must have. Everyone knew about the Big Dipper. The thought made him feel just a tiny bit closer to his long lost father.

While he was watching the stars, distracted, he didn't notice the shadows creeping up behind him, nor the strips of cloth they held. He hummed softly, rocking back and forth on his heels, content even if Tonpa didn't show up, when suddenly a rough piece of cloth was jerked across his mouth.

His first instinct was to shout out, but it was too muffled by the cloth for anyone to hear. His next instinct was to turn and fight, but then were arms all over his limbs, pushing him down on the ground, pinning his arms and legs down. That didn't stop him from struggling like a wild animal, thrashing with a strength that had his assailants grunting in effort to keep him from moving. A hard slap across the back of his head made his ears ring, and his body went slack for a moment. He heard a quiet sniggering.

"Stupid little fucker, aren't you?"

Tonpa? No way! But, for some reason, he was only half surprised. He felt like a complete idiot, as if he'd been tricked by the man more than once. He tried to twist his head to look up, but another piece of cloth blindfolded him and now he was not only mute, but blind. He struggled again, but it only earned him a kick to his stomach that was so hard he had to have been lifted about a foot off of the ground. He moaned, doubling over as the guys holding him laughed hysterically. Then they flipped him over onto his back, one guy for each limb. He bucked up, shook his head, arched his back, but nothing worked. So this must be what a trapped animal felt like. He felt a pang of regret for the times he'd caught island cats and wouldn't let them go.

"Oh, this is going to be the best one yet. Take off his clothes."

If the cloth hadn't muffled Gon's screams, Killua would've been able to hear them from the bunks.

Killua woke from a strange dream that involved Gon wearing short green shorts (he had quickly shoved it out of his mind; he definitely didn't want to psychoanalyze that) to the sound of the usual morning siren. Ugh. Too early. He may be able to stay up for days without sleep, but once he was asleep, he liked to stay asleep. He cracked a yawn, then dangled his feet over the side of his bunk, wondering if they smelled so bad Gon would wake up yelling. But Kurapika was the first one to speak, a confused look on his face.

"Where's Gon?"

Kurapika was the first to notice, since his bunk was the bottom directly across from Gon's. Leorio leaned over from over Kurapika (he had the top bunk on that side) and frowned.

"That's weird. His bed is all made and everything."

Killua leaned down to verify for himself, then a confused frown creased his forehead. He dropped lightly off of the top bunk and pressed his hand against Gon's pillow. Cold. Evidently the so-exhausted-Killua-had-to-practically-carry-him-back idiot wasn't as exhausted as he had acted. He must've been gone for at least an hour for his pillow to have absolutely no heat in it. Where had he gone? Killua felt a twinge of worry but quickly pushed it aside. No need to worry. Maybe he had tried to sneak into the mess hall and gotten caught.

"I'm sure he's fine."

Killua tried to keep his voice light and upbeat, but he was well and truly bothered now. Dammit. Why was that kid always making him worry? Leorio and Kurapika exchanged a knowing glance and nodded slowly. What was that all about? They must've become closer on their run. And they must've spoken about Killua and Gon too. Killua wasn't sure if he wanted to know how that conversation had entailed.

"Yeah, probably. But… Killua, have you ever heard of Initiation Week?"

Initiation Week? Of course he had. He'd heard tons of horror stories. Initiation Week was the first week all of the new recruits arrived. The older guys who had already passed basic wanted to see if the green guys had what it took, so they pulled all sorts of sadistic pranks. Killua paused. Sadistic pranks? There was one guy a day for the six day training period. It couldn't be that they'd chosen Gon to be the guy for that day. No way. He swallowed thickly, glancing at Gon's bed again.

"It can't be. I'm sure Gon can handle himself. But… if he's not in the mess hall, I guess I'll have to look for him."

His worry was increased tenfold. He'd never really considered Initiation Week an issue because no one would mess with a Zoldyk. No one should mess with a Freecss either, but Gon didn't really have a trait like silver hair to identify him as the kid of a Lieutenant General. No one below a Sgt. even knew what Ging looked like, anyway. Kurapika and Leorio shared another glance, and Killua was sure he caught worry in it. Why? It wasn't like they'd known Gon all that long. Well… actually, they'd known him for roughly as long as Killua. Killua kept forgetting that he'd only met his friend yesterday. It felt like he'd known him for a lifetime.

"Okay. We'll help you. I don't know what it is, but there's just something about him…"

Kurapika trailed off, but they all knew what he meant. There was something about him you inherently wanted to protect. Even if you hadn't known him for a while, he was like a warm glow that enveloped everyone around him.

"Fine. Do what you want."

Killua dressed quickly, pausing for a moment to wait for them. Why was he waiting for them too? Stupid, stupid, stupid. But he did it anyway, and then they went to the mess hall together. They ate quickly and silently, each one searching the hall for a sign of spiky dark hair. But they saw neither head nor tail of anyone even remotely resembling him. Killua's pulse was beginning to speed up, and he shoved away the little bit of food they got. Something was very, very wrong. He didn't know how he knew, he just did. Something had happened, and he needed to find Gon. Now.

"Let's go."

He was both surprised and grateful to see Leorio and Kurapika rising, both of their meals relatively untouched. He could see in their movements that they were stiff and aching from the previous day's work out, but they didn't complain at all. Leorio seemed worried, and Kurapika seemed tense. Killua stood up, not bothering to clear away his plate; some other starving guy would take the food. For now, they had to focus on finding Gon before it was time to start the day's physical training.

They started off relatively slow, searching around the camp, looking for places they thought he might go. But they quickly picked up the pace until they were all running, earning weird and slightly panicked looks from other personnel. It was only when Kurapika paused and gestured subtly to two chatting Privates that they received a clue as to where Gon was.

"Really? Man, that's sick. In a bad way."

"Yeah, I know. Those recruit crushers really outdid themselves this year. I feel bad for him."

"He's only a kid too, isn't he? Poor bastard won't be sticking around after something like this."

"Yeah, youngest recruit besides the Zoldyk boy. I wonder if anyone'll help him out. Probably not. The other recruits are certainly gunna get a scare when they go to train and find that."

Killua's heart sped up and he bolted before he could hear anything else. He could barely hear anything save blood pulsing through his head and his harsh, jagged breaths. Dammit. Dammit, Gon, why do you always have to make me worry? What the hell did you get yourself into this time? I told you to be careful! You fucking idiot! You'd better be okay!

There was a crowd around the starting pole of the course track. People were murmuring in low voices, some laughing, some looking disgusted. Killua shoved through them all frantically, ignoring the curses and whacks people gave him. When he finally popped out at to see what the crowd was looking at, his heart stopped.

Gon was tied to the post, both arms and legs tightly bound with thick rope. His head hung low, blood dripping into a small puddle at his feet from his face, which was horribly battered. One of his eyes was swollen shut, and blood came both from a cut on his lip and a trickle coming from his nose. He wasn't moving, wasn't making any sounds. Killua was so shocked by the sight that he forgot to even check if Gon was breathing.

"Gon…"

The name bubbled past his lips in a horrified whisper, and the crowd fell silent, watching him. Kurapika and Leorio shoved through the crowd to see what was going on, and once they caught sight of the situation, they quickly took action. Kurapika, his eyes burning with crimson fire, began ordering people to leave with the authority of an officer. Even people who were of higher rank than him obeyed, the shock and the fact that obeying orders was drilled into their minds making them move. Leorio walked up to Gon, shaking his head in disgust, as he pulled out a knife.

Killua watched it all almost dispassionately, a terrible feeling of rage growing inside of him. He hadn't even been paying attention to any other details, but now that his mind had distanced itself from his emotions, he noticed just how sick the prank had gotten. Gon was clothed in a frilly dress about five sizes too big, and a sign with the word 'Faggot' painted on it hung around his neck. His face wasn't just coloured by blood and bruises; there was rouge on his lips and horribly applied dark eye shadow all around his eyes. Killua's nails dug into his palms so hard blood trickled from his hands. Kurapika, who had finally finished dispersing the crowd, noticed the look on his face and took a shaky step back.

"Who the fuck did this?"

He didn't even know who he was asking, all he knew was that whoever had done this was going to die. He was going to tear them apart with his bare hands, then let them live in suffering agony for a few days before he let them die. No one, no one had the right to even lay a hand on Gon. To dress him up like this… to make a mockery of his boyish face and sparkling eyes, to paint him so the strong jaw line just beginning to mark him as a man looked wrong and girly… Killua's teeth pulled back from his teeth in one of the most feral snarls Kurapika had ever seen.

"Killua?"

It was Gon's weak, slightly confused voice that brought him back to his senses. He'd have time to kill the fuckers later, right now taking care of Gon was his main priority. Kurapika watched the shift in Killua's expression, then looked back and forth between him and Gon, understanding dawning on his face. He gave the slightest of nods to Leorio, who allowed Killua to hold Gon while he used his knowledge of what medics do to look after the boy's wounds.

"Are you okay? Shit, sorry, obviously you aren't. I mean… what the hell did they do to you? I can't…"

His mind was warring between deep anger and profound concern. Gon grinned shakily, reaching up to pat Killua on the shoulder feebly. Why was he the one comforting Killua when he was the one who was hurt? But his eyes were as clear as ever. He didn't seem particularly upset or scarred. In fact, the one who felt more angered and freaked out was Killua. How could Gon be so calm after he'd been beaten and humiliated like this?

"They put a dress on me. I kept struggling so they hit me a bunch of times. Then they tied me up and put the sign around my neck. And they put makeup on. Kind of a weird joke, right? Oh well. I shouldn't have let Tonpa trick me."

Killua didn't know whether to hit Gon or hug him. He was furious about what they'd done to him, but he was happy that was all they'd done. He'd heard some guys took their sexual frustration out on recruits because recruits held no power.

"Don't worry, Killua. I've been beaten up before. It hurts but it's not like I'm going to die. I think yesterday's training hurts more than this."

Did he not think anything of his pride as a man, then? Everyone had seen him in a dress, and if they hadn't, they'd certainly know about it by the time the day was over.

"Aren't you even a little embarrassed?"

Gon inched himself up as Leorio finished applying first aid, then he forced his legs to support him. Killua tried to help him, but Gon waved him off. He stretched, rubbing his wrists and ankles.

"No. It's just a dress."

He reached up and wiped his face with the sleeve of the dress, smearing the makeup more than anything.

"Actually… the worst thing is, Aunt Mito didn't have much money so she could only afford to get me one uniform. They don't give out spares… and I think doing basic training in a dress will be difficult. Not to mention it will make Sgt. Menchi mad. What do you think?"

Killua just stared in astonishment. Kurapika let out a small laugh, which grew until he was laughing with ease. Leorio grinned and shook his head. All of that hadn't even fazed him? The thing he was most upset about was losing his uniform? Killua was going to have to beat some sense into him. After his injuries healed, of course.

"You're the biggest idiot I've ever met, Gon Freecss. Come on, let's get you to the showers. You can have one of my uniforms."

Gon grinned widely, then winced and smiled smaller. He draped one arm over Killua's shoulder as if he were simply doing it out of friendliness, but Killua could feel the stiffness of his muscles, and the weight on Killua's shoulder was much more than it would've been if Gon was simply being friendly. He didn't say a word, though.

"Me and Leorio will let Sgt. Menchi know what happened. She's scary but she seems reasonable enough."

"Thanks, guys."

Killua was surprised to find he really meant it. He really, truly appreciated his squad mates. Maybe basic training wouldn't be as bad as he'd originally thought. That is, if he could keep Gon from doing anything else outrageously stupid.

Tonpa high-fived each of the Amori brothers, laughing wickedly. Stupid recruit. Who actually came to meet a Private alone at 0200 during Initiation Week? Well, that was one recruit gone. He wondered who he should choose next. The Zoldyk brat was off the table, but that bald headed guy with the funky eyebrows looked pretty dumb. There was also that fat guy in the bald one's group… Todo, was it? The name annoyed him. Maybe they could stage it so it looked like he had stolen all of the food in the mess hall. Yeah, he was fat enough that people would believe it.

"Hey, I have a great ide—"

A swish alerted him to the fact that someone had just entered his tent. He looked up, ready to snicker if it was one of the girly brat's friends come for revenge, but when he saw who it was, his entire countenance altered. His face grew pale, and he stood up so fast the chair he'd been sitting in toppled over. He saluted, ashen-faced, the Amori brothers following suit. BGen. Hisoka raised an eyebrow.

"My, my. No need to be so formal. I just came here to chat."

No he hadn't. Tonpa searched his mind for anything he might've done to piss off the crimson haired freak. He couldn't think of one good reason the BGen was in his tent. Unless… his eyes widened a millimetre as he realized his mistake.

"Everyone knows I keep my eye on certain young male recruits with potential. However, it seems one of those young male recruits became a young female recruit today. Ah~ So sad! His cute little squad mate is going to fix him up, but it still scars me."

It didn't look like it scarred Hisoka at all. A grin had slowly been spreading across his face, and now that it was fully formed, Tonpa was absolutely terrified. Hisoka's laugh made every hair on Tonpa's body stand upright, and one of the Amori brothers actually started crying.

"Mm… Gon~ I can't have you touching him again."

"W-we won't, sir! I s-swear!"

"Oh don't worry. I know you won't."

Those were the last words the four recruit crushers ever heard.