I do not own American Horror Story: Freak Show.

But I would like to have a little fun here.

A Winter in Wisconsin

Evie's Idiot Boy

"I need to go into town."

Just moments before, Eve had banged on Jimmy's trailer door and he'd let her in, secretly embarrassed that it probably didn't look as good or smell as good as hers.

But now he just stared at her in disbelief, thinking she must have gone crazy, wrongfully thinking this was warm, sunny Florida and not freezing, damn Wisconsin.

He glanced out the dirty windows at the snow covered vehicles.

'Uh, I don't know, Evie. I don't think those trucks can make it down the road. We might kill ourselves."

Her jaw was set; she seemed firm in her commitment.

"Well, then," she took a deep break as if drawing up her courage. "I'll just have to walk it."

She looked out in the window in the direction of town. Then wrapped her coat even tighter around her.

"What is it? A couple of miles?"

Jimmy studied her face. Evie was a pretty level-headed gal. She wasn't really one for insisting upon frivolities. And when she made up her mind about something, there wasn't much stopping her.

So he made up his own mind.

"Yeah, but you don't have to walk it. I'll go. Just . . . tell me what you want."

She shook her head in determination.

"No, no. I . . . no."

He raised a teasing eyebrow at her.

"What? Think I'll get the wrong color nail polish?"

She glared at him, looking like she was about to cuff him upside the head with her large mittened hand.

"Don't make me pop you, Jimmy Darling!"

He grinned cheekily.

"No, ma'am!"

In the end, they decided to walk it together.

It was sunny, as a matter of fact. Bright and dazzling, which was usually a good thing.

But now the winter sun, bouncing off the snow covered world, was very nearly blinding.

Their breaths billowed out in big, puffing clouds, sweeping past their frozen faces as they trudged through the snow.

Both of them were so bundled up in big thick winter clothes, they nearly waddled down the slick road.

"So," Jimmy panted, the cold hurting his lungs. "What do you need so badly that we have to wade through snow drifts to get to town?"

The towering woman didn't respond.

"Evie."

She seemed to have suddenly gone deaf.

"Evie."

Her face was red, he guessed from the cold.

"What, Jimmy?"

He frowned at her. They were usually pretty comfortable together but now she seemed awfully jumpy.

"Why are we going to town?"

She turned her bundled face away from him, squinting out over the snow covered fields and farm houses.

Jimmy waited, wondering what could possibly be such a big deal.

"It's been a long winter, Jimmy," Amazon Eve finally conceded. "Some of us ladies are running short on . . . supplies."

Jimmy stopped dead in the middle of the road, a look of pure aggravation plastered on his face.

"Are you kidding, Evie? Supplies?! We don't have to freeze all the way to town for supplies! I've got extra stuff stashed in my trailer, I know Paul's got some. Hell, lay on enough charm and wit and I think even Elsa'd help out! We don't need to freeze our toes off out here! Come on, let's go back to camp!"

With a spring in his step, Jimmy Darling aboutfaced toward camp and then noticed Evie wasn't with him. Instead she was standing still, what he could see of her face red as a cherry and looking strange.

"Jimmy," she said in a voice that clearly indicted she'd rather be having any other conversation rather than the one she was currently involved in, "I very much doubt that you or Paul have what we need."

She paused and then a twisted smile seemed to flash in her eyes.

"And, honestly, I think Elsa might be a little too old to help either."

Jimmy shook his head with certainty and gestured toward camp.

"No, no. Seriously, I got lots of different odds and ends stowed away. I'm sure we can find something to help you."

Evie's face seemed to be approaching magenta as she wiped away an ice icicling tear of embarrassment.

"Really? You think?"

Jimmy nodded adamantly, wondering why she sounded so resentful.

"Yeah, definitely."

He held out his hand toward her, in a welcoming gesture toward the camp.

"Jimmy, we women need things that you guys just don't have."

He rolled his eyes.

"Hey, come on, it might not look or smell as good as your stuff, but it'll do in a bind."

But she just stood there, once more glaring at him.

"I really doubt it, Jimmy."

He was getting impatient now. It was cold and the sun was giving him a headache.

"No, no, I got it all, Evie. Just try me!"

Her eyes suddenly bore into him little scathing drills.

"You've got feminine sanitary napkins and Tampax in your trailer?"

Jimmy suddenly discovered he had frozen solid to the ground and his mittened lobster hand was immobile as well.

His mouth seemed to be on the fritz too.

"Uhhhhh . . ."

Evie nodded in shame and turned away.

He watched her in shock for a few moments, then unstuck himself from the ground and loped after her.

She didn't look at him or speak either as they crunched along.

He couldn't think of a thing to say.

And she was apparently not speaking to him out of embarrassment or shame. Or anger.

Finally Jimmy Darling said the only thing he could of.

"I'm sorry, Evie. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

He saw her shadow shake its head a little.

"Didn't your mother, or somebody, teach you about women, Jimmy?"

He shrugged a little self depreciatingly.

"Yeah. But I wasn't thinking. I'm an idiot."

She didn't speak for a couple of minutes. When she did, her voice was softer and gentler.

"Yes, you are, Jimmy Darling."

She sighed audibly, then chuckled.

"But you're my idiot."

He dared a glance at her, grinning wirily.

She was smiling too.

But still wasn't exactly looking at him.

Against all odds and just when Jimmy thought they might actually be walking backward rather than forward, he and Evie made it to town.

I refuse to apologize for this fluffy, silly little chapter. I just survived episode 11 so I needed to laugh. *gratefully pats face with hands; sighs in relief*

So Tampax was formally introduced in 1936 by Dr. Earl Haas! Who was probably just trying to make his wife happy. Thank you, sir!

Thanks to brigid1318, iwritexx, The Cry-Wank Kid, rabraham7898 for choosing to review. You guys are great!

Now, I wonder what will happen when they get to town? Hmmm . . .