Summary: Very wacky parody. Raine guards ruins with a battle axe, people who have Genis' cooking have incidents, and Presea is creepy, really, smiling all the time, everyone else, well...
Tales of Symphonia, The REAL Story
"Lloyd Irving, you idiot, wake up!" ? threw a hatchet at Lloyd's face, but it missed and flew out the window. After Raine, or ? asked Genis why Mithos' socks were pink, the oracle shined. Raine, the ruin maniac/teacher she is, ran to Halo, the store, and bought a battle axe the size of Genis.
"Now class, you love your heads, right?" the class nodded. "Well, don't go near the ruins, or I slap your sorry asses black and blue, or do we need Bob?
"Who's Bob?" asked Genis.
"He is a very shiny battle axe," explained Raine.
All the class could say was "..."
"Colette..." Lloyd began
"Here's the allergy medicine. Why do like being loopy?" Colette asked. It was an innocent question, but strange. Time for a new topic!
"No, not that. Do you want to see the oracle?" Lloyd asked. Good job Lloyd, nice topic change.
"Sure, but I want to see Genis come too. I like his fireball spell because..." Colette replied, then explained the joys of the color orange, heat, and embers.
"Say, Genis, wanna come?" asked Lloyd.
"Sure, but I cook!" Genis replied.
"Brunel, Irving, prepare for impact," whispered Lloyd to himself.
Colette and Genis joined the party
Approching the northern wall of the school, the three examined a hole in the wall. Colette said some Furbies pushed her into the wall.
Colette obtained the title: Furbyphobic. Reads: I hate Furbies, they WILL take over the world.
Outside, Frank explained to the friends that Desians invaded the Martel Temple, where they put marker moustaches on anyone in sight, and taking them to the Furby Store, where Furbies raised them to combat the evil Oven Mitt.
"Where's Phaidra?" Colette asked.
"She's doing lame kung-fu to fight the Desians," replied Frank.
After random battles, the threesome made it to the temple, where they saw Anonymous Pastor die, then fought two Whip Masters with mohawks that would shame a Goth (no offense). Then the WAY too fat Vidarr came out, and the friends were nearly KO'D when a mercenary by the name of ? showed up, and blocked the finishing blow and helped them out. After Colette sliced off Vidarr's IV of Slim-Fast, he exploded. Literally. The mercenary explained he was Kratos. He had a large bag of sugar in a backpack he had. Colette snooped and found it. Bad. Colette hid lots of sugar in her sandwich Lloyd made for her. Sugar rush in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
"YAY SUGAR! NOW I CAN COMPENSATE F0R MY LOW HP!" cried Colette.
End Chapter 1
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