I do not own American Horror Story: Freak Show.
But I would like to have a little fun here.
A Winter in Wisconsin
Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
And then of course there was the night of the wolves . . .
Night had fallen across the frozen land and the denizens of Elsa Mars' Cabinet of Curiosities were all nestled snug in their bunks, visions of sun soaked seashores lapping in their heads.
Jimmy Darling, with his loose board shorts and his chest bare, admired the tanned, long-legged beauties in teeny bikinis sashay through his hazy field of vision. They smiled coyly at him, their bow lips painted red and their blond hair bouncy on their sun-kissed shoulders.
Smiled at him and his lobster hands buried casually in the warm, concealing sand.
Suddenly a thundering sound boomed across the peaceful beach, over and over again, rapidly like a battering ram of reality.
The beach girls tremored and dissolved, the warmth of sun drenched beaches evaporated before the bitter cold of a never ending winter.
Wthf . . .
Jimmy Darling blearily opened his eyes, rubbing a deformed hand over them, groggy and discombobulated.
And a little pent up.
"Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?!"
It was the voice of his mother.
Ma? What'd I do? I, uh, really can't answer the door at this second. Hang on, uh, baseball, latrine digging, snow shoveling, yep, that did it . . .
Jimmy got up then and opened the door.
I was sleeping. Dreaming. And it was nice. So nice. This is not nice.
The entire troupe of the frozen, wayward Florida freak show was huddled in Ethel Darling's sturdy caravan.
Peering out the tiny windows at the moon-washed landscape before them.
The howling was getting steadily louder.
"I couldn't sleep. The cold, I guess, and so I went outside to move around and that's when I heard them."
Suzi shivered as she spoke and Paul put a bundled short arm around her in reassurance.
"I just, I just thought we'd all be safer together."
Her voice shook as she watched them.
Their lithe, loping shapes roamed the camp. It was impossible to count how many there were as they trotted to and from, in and out of sight.
Them, the wolves.
"Yes, they are hungry tonight. It has been a long, starving winter for them. They are too hungry to remember that we are their superiors. Alone, they would devour us each in turn," Elsa Mars' German accent intoned darkly in the gloom.
Ma Petite, visibly trembled as she perched on the back of a chair. Jimmy thought about comforting her with a friendly hug but knew the hawk-eyed Elsa Mars and her silver tongue of death would slice him to shreds for his caring.
A prowling wolf, its pale coat reflecting the white snow around it, padded past them, then stopped and turned. It seemed to be staring right into the freak-laden caravan.
Jimmy felt his blood chill.
It's sniffing for us. It wants us. It's hungry.
"Stay still," Paul whispered. "They've got great night vision."
Unable to move, they all stood motionless, barely daring to breathe.
But one innocent-hearted member of their troop did not seem to harbor the same dark dread and fear as the rest of them.
"Puppy!"
Everybody sucked in their shocked, icy breath at Pepper the Pinhead's crow of unbridled delight.
The razor sharp senses of the animal outside in the snow pricked out its ears at the sound of her shrill voice and it cocked its head in clear interest.
Jimmy's entire body went into deep freeze.
Pepper clapped her hands joyfully, a huge grin spread across her simple face and called out again.
"Puppy!"
The wolf lowered its head for a moment, then raised it toward the snowy skies and howled, an undulating, eerie sound that reverberated throughout the camp and the ears of its intended prey.
Then it bared its fangs at them in a low and dangerous snarl.
Pepper gasped and scrambled backward into the arms of the bearded Ethel.
"No puppy," she gasped breathlessly, shuddering. "No puppy, no puppy, no puppy."
"No, honey, I'm sorry, it ain't," the bearded lady replied, gently stroking Pepper's upper back between her rigid shoulder blades.
Together they watched all in horrified fascination as the wolf padded closer.
Paul nudged Jimmy, making an obvious effort to remain upbeat and jocular.
"Go on out there and apologize, mate. It was you who took all their rabbits anyway."
Jimmy unconsciously huffed in exasperation, not daring to look away from the wolf to Paul. He kept his eyes locked on the lanky predator as it slowly approached their safe haven.
Paul, the Illustrated Seal, who was only using his gift of gab to ward off his own mounting panic, lost whatever his next words were going to be and simply stared along with the rest of them.
"They can't get us in here," Elsa Mars muttered stubbornly. "Not unless they've learned how to open doors in the wild."
A terrible vision suddenly flashed in Jimmy's mind of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother alone in her tiny cottage and the Big Bad Wolf opening the door and eating her up.
I hate you, Ma. Never tell me another story again, would you?
And then came the whining, right at the door.
Pitiful whining.
Just a helpless, precious, little puppy, hungry and all alone and lost in the cold.
Pepper whimpered and buried her face in Ethel's bosom. Ethel shushed her.
And scratching. Splintering scratching sounds that seemed to fill the still caravan and their frightened brains.
And then whining turned to snarls and growls of the famished carnivore.
Suddenly, Ma Petite hopped down from her perch, snatched up a walking stick Ma used to move around the camp with when her joints were acting up, and started hitting the wolf door with it.
Hitting it over and over with all her tiny might. And screaming.
Screaming Indian gibberish Jimmy'd never heard before in his life, Her lovely little face was screwed up in an expression of determination and anger.
Her futile attack on the door and her shrill, high-pitched yammering would have been funny in any other situation.
If Jimmy hadn't been caught up in shock and awe of her daring bravery in the face of an animal that would consider her a light midnight snack.
Almost as a unified being, the freaks moved toward the wolf door, shouting and yelling and pounding the aged wood with a fierce and mighty strength.
All but the stoic Elsa Mars, with her arms folded across her modest chest and Ethel Darling, who still held the trembling Pepper.
They shouted and yelled and cursed and kicked and smacked. Ma Petite scrambled out of the way, still clutching her warrior's staff in her tiny hand.
The wolf stopped its attack and backed away slowly. Into the shadows and disappeared into the dark night.
The din inside Ethel Darling's caravan tapered off slowlyand they stood, their hearts pounding, bodies quaking with heightened emotion.
Elsa Mars, however, could always be counted upon to present her unrelenting judgment of the impromptu performance.
No matter the hint of pride peeking out from behind her austere expression.
"Do you all feel better now, then? Making such a spectacle of yourselves in the face of a mere animal?" she questioned loftily. "It wouldn't have gotten in, you know. It would have lost interest and gone away eventually. Your ridiculous outburst was entirely unnecessary."
Oh, can it, you old bat. I feel great now. I feel alive. I feel like . . .
But he couldn't grab the nearest female and lay a heavy one on her because there none to his liking within the caravan. And the ones that might be would smack him cross-eyed for his efforts.
So Jimmy stood, jittery and filled with empowered energy amid his friends and freak family, waiting for his wired-up body to relax itself. Looking in the eyes of his friends, he saw some of them felt the same.
Ma Petite was grinning widely at them all, still brandishing her formidable weapon in her manicured hand.
Jimmy realized he was grinning too.
Then he started laughing.
And they, in astonishment and embarrassment at their own uncharacteristic behavior, joined him.
And that was the best part of all.
The wolf did not return close that night to scratch at the door. Neither did any of its compatriots, though they did remain within the camp long after those within the caravan fell asleep.
They huddled up together that night, tightly packed like sardines.
Ma gave up her bed to Elsa, as Jimmy knew she would, and slept in a chair.
Jimmy slept nearest to the wolf door.
So the warrior princess Ma Petite wouldn't.
And in the morning, the camp was empty of everything but the freaks.
Hey, everyone! Is it spring yet? No? Oh well. ;)
So this was a little fantastical, I suppose, but who cares, right? This whole story is supposed to have a bit of whimsical fun to it anyway.
Special thanks to brigid1318, the1upguy, Jurana Keri, The Cry-Wank Kid, Mira ServerusSirius Black-Snape (did you like your Ma Petite and Pepper?) and my Gracious Guest (can never stay anyway for too long, sweetie) for reviewing this rambling tale so loyally. You all are the best. :)