The plan was simple; it was simple because it was basically the first two pranks but with a different target. Dalinar would be reviewing the glypic reports scribed for him by the brightladies in his employ. It was typical of Dalinar to spend a long time looking over these reports and musing alone. His desk faced the door directly, so coming in from the front would be ridiculous. There was, however, a small room that joined his study to the Kholin wing of Urithiru at his back. Only someone in his family circle would be able to come through that door, and even then, it was carefully watched by his personal guards. The group intended to come through this door.

Of course the men guarding the door would let them through without question, so the only consideration was the timing. Once they were certain Dalinar was alone, with his door closed, the plan was put into motion.

Pattern and Lopen went into the study alone and closed the door behind them. Shallan had wanted to accompany them to get a close vantage point for Dalinar's reaction, but Kaladin had adamantly refused.

"You can make us invisible, but you can't make us silent. Four people shuffling into that room is going to make a very obvious noise to a man like Dalinar." Adolin backed him up.

"Pattern and I can lightweave a reenactment afterwards, I suppose," Shallan said reluctantly. "Pattern can record what's said, and I can animate it."

"… Do you often reenact things that happen in your day?" Adolin questioned, thinking back to many seemingly innocuous times he'd seen her sketching him. Shallan blushed lightly.

"Um, that doesn't matter right now, Adolin. We need to focus."

So the three fought for the meagre view through the keyhole as Lopen, with Pattern in tow, approached the Blackthorn. Lopen rested his hand gently on Dalinar's shoulder.

"Gloves can be such a bother sometimes." Pattern recited, faithfully replicating Navani's voice and the inflection Shallan had shown him.

"I imagine so, dear" said Dalinar, turning a page and tracing his finger down the glyphs.

Lopen moved Lefty 2.0 across Dalinar's shoulder tentatively, hoping to provoke a more interesting reaction. Dalinar reached up to stroke the back of it. When his fingers came into contact with skin, not fabric, he didn't seem shocked, but rather turned it over in his own hand and distractedly kissed the palm of it. His fingers caressed Lefty 2.0's in a tender way.

"I'm sorry, Navani, I'm quite busy at the moment." He released the hand back onto his shoulder and patted it in an affectionate, but slightly dismissive way.

"Perhaps another time," Pattern improvised stiffly. Lopen turned, red faced and hurried to the door to the safety of the adjoining chamber. The three onlookers scattered silently as he opened the door and tried to close it as unobtrusively as possible. They stared at each other, aghast and all infinitely more embarrassed than they had been at any point during the previous two pranks- or perhaps their entire lives. Lopen began to shuffle his feet sheepishly, Kaladin had reverted to his stone faced default and Shallan was clutching at the slack jawed Adolin's sleeve.

"Let's get out of here, now." Kaladin forced hoarsely through tight lips.

"He kissed my hand," Lopen said faintly, clutching Lefty 2.0 at his wrist. "The Blackthorn kissed my hand. I don't know if I feel like I should cut it off or never wash it again."

"I know how I feel," Adolin said, running his hand through his hair. He was wide-eyed and, like everybody else, was blushing harder than he ever had before. "My dad, my aunt…Stormfather."

"Oh, but it was sweet!" Shallan red facedly countered, stammering. "It was just not something any of us should ever have seen. Ever," she emphasised.

"Shallan," Pattern buzzed. "Did you see my good job? They were good lies. Yes. I even had to make up some of my own."

"Yes Pattern. Good job." Shallan weakly allowed.

"I need a drink," Adolin said. "A strong drink." Kaladin nodded stiffly, but said nothing else. Lopen was still clutching Lefty 2.0 with confused desperation.

"My shout," Shallan said. "It was my idea."