Awakening Hope
Chapter 5: Sprouts in the Wind and Soil
"Sakura, I would like to talk to you." And so Kakashi left the room and closed the door behind him leaving Sakura in the room with Tsunade.
"What about Sakura, we have to go to Ichiraku?!" Naruto complained loudly as he saw that Sakura had stayed behind.
"What is it?" Sakura asked eyeing her teacher carefully there was something in her expression that made her worry. She didn't seem to know how to start.
"It may not be my place to intrude, but I care about you so I'm going to butt in anyway. The day I gave Team 7 the mission to bring you back something very interesting slipped the Uchiha's mouth." She paused then and sighed. "He said he had spent the night at your place. Did something happen?"
Sakura stayed silent for a moment as she stared at her teacher. "He provided some comfort." She told her as her gaze fell to the floor, there was no point in beating around the bush. She shifted in her feet and she thinks that might have been the giveaway.
She knew Tsunade didn't need her to say anything more to understand. "So soon after your parents death I have to ask, did-"
Sakura cut her off and spoke. "It's just something that happened, it didn't mean anything." She paused, the words didn't leave her easily. "I don't love him…not anymore."
The expression in Tsunade's face to told her she didn't believe a word she said. "It might have not meant anything for you, but have you ever considered that it might mean something for him?"
Sakura couldn't help but scoff. "It was nothing. It's Uchiha Sasuke you're talking about." She said as if that was reason enough to invalidate Tsunade's question, and to her it was. Sasuke could never care about Sakura, Sakura could never mean anything to Sasuke. It was a rule she learned to live by long ago.
"Don't play with fire Sakura." Tsunade spoke eyes watching her carefully.
"There's no fire anymore." Sakura murmured.
Tsunade shook her head and didn't say anything more, Sakura was glad, she wasn't sure she could take anymore.
Sakura turned around and made her way through the door and closed it behind her and found herself with none other than Sasuke Uchiha sitting right next to the door. "Kakashi asked me to wait for you, they're at Ichiraku's." That's all he said before standing up and leading the way. He didn't once look at her as he walked in front of her and she had to quicken her pace to keep up with him.
A part of her wanted to think this was normal Sasuke behavior but she knew it wasn't. His shoulders were tense, his posture straight, and his hands were balled up into fists beside him.
He had heard, how much she didn't know, but for the looks of it he had heard everything. What she didn't understand was the attitude. What did it matter to him? She couldn't bring herself to ask him, fearing all possible answers.
He's mad, irrationally mad. It's an anger that's been eating at him for days, but now it got to the point in which he could barely stand it.
How dare she, how dare she, how dare she! He grit his teeth as he quickened his pace even more, whether she could keep up with him or not was her problem he figured.
He didn't look back, just kept walking. She didn't speak and neither did he, sitting beside Tsunade's office he heard all he needed to hear.
"It was nothing."
Tch. He didn't know why he was making such a big deal out of it, he kept telling himself it was pride but something told him it was more than that. He could recall the feel of her lips against his, the feel of her skin under his touch.
It was not nothing.
"It didn't mean anything."
Did it mean something for him? He stopped walking as he found his answer. Slowly he turned to her. Her expression was guarded as she looked at him. He looked her over, his eyes pausing at her lips before landing on her vibrant green eyes.
It had been so much more than the feel of her body, her skin, her lips; it had been her. She made him want, and she made him feel.
It meant everything, he realized.
"You heard it all." She spoke then, biting her lip, he could see guilt in her eyes. He didn't say anything just kept looking at her. He was mad at himself, he let this happen, the moment he gave in was his downfall.
It seemed like a bad joke.
"I don't know why you're acting like this, but you have nothing to worry about. I'm not in love with you anymore." Her words did nothing but anger him more. It was an irrational reaction, it shouldn't matter to him what she felt for him, it never had before.
"You're lying." He spoke through gritted teeth.
She was taken aback, he could see by the expression on her face. Her eyes screamed confusion. "At this point…what reason would I have to lie to you?" Her expression changed then, sadness clouding her eyes, she bit her lip before she continued. "I loved you for so long, through so much, you always knew that even if you never acknowledged it." She shook her head. "If you're trying to pretend you care for my sake, save it, I don't want it nor do I need it."
He took a step forward, and another, walking towards her she remained motionless she only watched him. "Sakura." He calls out to her. "Don't lie to me saying it meant nothing for you." He wanted to say more, he wanted to tell her that it wasn't nothing to him, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Her gaze turns to his then, expression guarded and eyes that betrayed nothing. "I refuse to make the same mistake twice Sasuke, I'm not going to put myself through that again." Her gaze fell to the ground as she shook her head. "But what would you know about unrequired love…" She whispered, irony lacing her voice. "To me it's like that night never happened." She tells him her eyes on his.
He's left there to stare at her as she turns around and without another look his way starts walking. He watches her retreating figure, watches her every step firm and sure, her shoulders squared with no hint of uncertainty.
"There's no fire anymore."
What if she was telling the truth? He didn't know how to feel about that. He turned his gaze to the ground and walked the opposite direction as well. He didn't care what Naruto and Kakashi thought about their absence, he wasn't going to sit at Ichiraku and pretend that everything was ok, he wasn't going to lie for her either.
Naruto looked around for the hundredth time as he ate yet another bowl of ramen. "They're supposed to be here already." Naruto complained to the gray haired jounin. "Do you think they might have taken a detour? 'Cause I really think there's something going on between those two." Naruto commented as he watched Kakashi from the corner of his eyes.
Kakashi shook his head and sighed. "You're just seeing things." But the look on his eyes made Naruto wonder. He's been seeing the looks Sakura gives Sasuke when she thinks no one's looking, every time her eyes turn to him it's like she's looking for something. He also catches Sasuke staring at her an awful lot, his expression always deep in thought.
That wasn't there before and they all think he doesn't notice but he does.
"I'm not an idiot, Kakashi." He tells his former teacher who turns to him with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, maybe for some things, but I can see the change in them."
"What do you think is happening?" Kakashi asks eyeing the blonde as he eats.
It takes him a moment to answer, but gulping down the last of his ramen he turns to Kakashi and says. "I think Sasuke finally realized it." There's an amused grimaced on his lips as he shakes his head.
Kakashi doesn't reply, he simply stays quiet but Naruto takes the silence as a form of agreement.
Sasuke can't help it and as he steps into his household he closes the door with a loud thud, the sound resonates all over the empty house. For a moment he wishes the house wasn't as lonely, he wishes there was someone waiting for him and when an image of a smiling face comes to mind… it has bubblegum pink hair and emerald eyes.
He turns to the wall and punches it out of anger. 'What is wrong with me?' He wonders. It's not the first time, it's been a gradually growing thing since that night.
Often he finds himself staring at her and all problems are erased from his mind. Hearing her voice is like hearing his mother sing to him and he's transported into happy memories. Whenever she smiles he wants to smile too, whenever her eyes turn to him his heart seems to skip a beat.
It terrifies him, what she does to him.
Sometimes he dreams of her, he without even noticing imagines a future with her. A future he knows is no longer possible. He storms over to his room, his steps can be heard like an echo all over the house.
Getting rid of his shirt and throwing himself on the bed he stares at the ceiling, trying to keep his mind as blank as the ceiling above him. He's not surprised when it doesn't work, trying is just wishful thinking by now.
He closes his eyes then as his hands grip the sheets beside him. An undone bed, because he often wakes up in the mornings with dreams that make him crave and all he can do not to cave is go train and take a cold shower.
Even sleep is wishful thinking.
He remembers the feel of her hands on him, as her fingertips brushed his skin leaving a burning sensation with every touch. The way she made him feel alive is something he'll never be able to explain, but he craves it and wants it like he's never wanted anything before in his life.
"Damn you!" He curses loudly. He wants to be at peace, he wants to forget, but she doesn't let him.
It's more than the craving of a warm body against his it's her and how she makes him feel. It meant everything to him and she means everything to him and he knows the answer to it all pretty well.
It's been going 'round and 'round in his head and although he's tried long and hard to ignore the answer it's there crystal clear, staring at him plain in the face.
He had known it was bound to happen sooner or later, whether he stayed or left, whether he wanted it or not, whether he came back or ran. He knew there was no escaping it.
He blinks staring tiredly at the ceiling, feeling in a way defeated, weak, and although he hates it a part of him loves it as well.
It was not nothing…
It meant everything.
"But what would you know about unrequired love…"
He chuckled and it sounds more like gasps, no humor in the sound it's like a bad joke, he thinks for the thousand time that day. He shakes his head, what would he know? Not much certainly, he doesn't know how it feels to love and not be loved back, he doesn't know how it feels to hold out your heart for someone only for them to let it fall to the ground.
"But I think I'll find out soon enough." He speaks into an empty room, because even though he knows the answer he's not prepared to put it into words, it would make it all too real.
And he's not so sure he can handle the reality of it.
a/n: I know I've taken a lot of time to update, this has been done for quite a while but finals got in the way and then I could barely get some time on the computer around the house.
But ta-da! It's here!
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you, hope you're all having a wonderful or at least decent time. :) My present this year was an adorable guinea pig named Hime. :D
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