I do not Own Naruto
Chapter 3: Death on trial
x-x
Extinguishing his pipe before walking into the hospital, the Sandaime proceed up the elevator to the second floor where he had three people to see. Exiting the elevator, he moved past the nurses station on the floor and to Naruto's room.
The Sandaime let out a sigh of relief when he found Naruto in the hospital bed. The boy's color had returned and he was no longer hooked up to any machines. It looked like Naruto would make a full recovery.
"A heavy sigh." Commented someone standing near the Sandaime and he turned to find the doctor in charge of Naruto, Kyomi-sensei. The woman had dark brown hair that was graying and stood at average height with her lab coat on.
"Considering the early assessment you gave me, I am quite relieved that he is doing better." Said the Hokage looking back at the patient and he asked, "Did you discover what was wrong with him?"
With a slight frown, Kyomi responded, "I'm afraid I can't say for certain." and the Hokage gave her a curious look that told her he wanted an explanation. She wasn't happy either with the lack of results from a full examination but explained what she could.
"When he came in, my first thought was a viral or bacterial infection with his high fever, low blood pressure, and pale skin. Blood tests confirmed my shosen jutsu's findings of organ failure with no foreign substances present. However his white blood cell count was normal which I found strange at the time. We administered antibiotics to fight the presumed infection but further analysis couldn't identify any virus or bacteria in his body.
We therefore stopped the antibiotics and began dialysis to take over for his reduced kidney function, put him on a respirator to help his lungs, and stuck to giving him fluids and nutrients while monitoring his condition. His vitals and organs began stabilizing soon after that and he was well on the way to recovery by this afternoon. Frankly I'm still not sure what we were dealing with." she admitted and the Sandaime could see how tired she was from the day's ordeal.
"Your best guess?" he asked and Kyomi waited a moment before answering, "Poison." she said and the Sandaime's eyes widened, "I thought you said you didn't find any foreign substances?"
"I didn't but its the only thing that makes any sense. I don't know when he encountered it or exactly how it entered his body but it began shutting down his organs. I found no marks on his body but he could have healed, given how fast I know he can heal, or it was something he ate or drank. His stomach was empty when he was brought in which could mean that it was ingested and vomited it up. The rest must have metabolized extremely quickly in his body since it could escape detection." she explained and the Sandaime wasn't happy about the hypothesis.
While there was a chance that Naruto could have ingested something by accident, there was just as much chance that someone could have poisoned him. "When do you expect him to be ready to leave?" he asked as they walked away from Naruto's room and the doctor led him to the next patient which she knew he was there for.
"I would like to keep him for a few more days but considering how he gets in the hospital and his exceptional recovery, I may just let him go in the morning. I would like one of your ninja to go through his apartment and remove or replace all his food and drink, just to be on the safe side." she suggested and the Sandaime nodded at the measure.
With a slightly amused expression, the Sandaime inquired about the second patient, "And how is Asuma doing?" On his first day back in the village, Asuma had apparently run amok of Anko with the kunoichi's snake summonings injecting his son with copious amounts of different venom.
Kyomi smiled slightly at Anko's newest addition to the recovery ward and was glad to have a patient that she could easily diagnose and cure, "We've given him the required anti-venom and it was administered quickly enough to prevent any lasting damage. Mitarashi-san uses the same snakes on every victim so we have a ready supply of the correct anti-venom on hand." she said as they stopped at Asuma's room and the Sandaime shook his head slightly at his son's swollen face and limbs. He noted the many bandages with two distinctive blood spots in the center of each.
'I don't even want to know what he did to deserve this.' the Sandaime thought as while Anko was a handful and quick to anger, she never attacked anyone without a good reason. She threatened just about everyone with bodily harm and he had the complaints to prove it, but a physical attack with snakes was always motivated or retaliatory. He would be calling the kunoichi to his office when Asuma recovered to discuss the attack but he had put it off as other things were also on his mind and hadn't even taken a look at all the paperwork that had piled up in his office.
Saying goodby to the Kyomi-sensei, the Sandaime proceeded back to the elevator. With Naruto's life out of danger and knowing Asuma would recover swiftly, he had paperwork and a stack of complaints on his desk that needed attention and which were still coming in when he left. Apparently Naruto had gone on some rampage through the village the previous day and while he wanted to speak to the boy that morning, he would have to wait until the following day.
x-x
"Anko, for the last time I won't help you put in a sexual harassment lawsuit against the Sandaime's son." Said Yuuhi Kurenai as she walked with with her tokubetsu-jonin friend. Both were headed to the Hokage tower to answer the summons for the complaint that Anko had filed. While Kurenai did not want to go, she was a witness to the complaint Anko was making and intended to not letting her friend go through with the plan.
"He grabbed my breast and he was clearly dressed in uniform and possibly on duty. As was I. This is a clear case of workplace sexual harassment." retorted Anko and she quickly demanded, "Where's your feminine outrage!"
"It was accident Anko." Kureani repeated for what seemed the tenth time that morning.
"Yeah, right. I don't buy that one bit. Besides, if the case goes my way, I'll be looking at a nice settlement. Perhaps I'd even be willing to share some of that nice settlement with my best friend." Anko said while leaning over and adding in a hushed voice, "My very cooperative and expert witness...best friend."
"He was pushed, Anko. What makes you think the Hokage won't throw the whole thing out? And besides that you put him in the hospital afterward." contested Kurenai.
"He's a jonin, Nai-chan. Do you honestly expect me to believe that a five year old could push over a fully grown ninja. Utter nonsense!" shouted Anko as she continued her march toward the tower.
"Taking the opportunity, he let himself fall, right onto my breast. Conveniently he had his hand out to get a good feel." Anko emphasized and continued, "Face it, your childhood friend became a complete deviant."
"Anko, don't touch yourself like that in public!" Kurenai said in a hushed voice at the fact that Anko had groping her own breast to show what had happened the previously.
'And talking about a childhood friend becoming a deviant.' the red-eyed woman thought with embarrassment as she looked around and saw several people staring at the lewd act.
"What...does my exhibitionism embarrass you?" chided Anko as she began lifting her skirt up a bit more. "Stop it!" said Kurenai as she batted Anko's hands away from kunoichi's own skirt.
"You just can't admit that the son might be as perverted as the father." stated Anko and she kept walking while Kurenai stopped dead for a second.
Catching back up, Kurenai grabbed her friends arm and veered them down a less crowded street, "Anko! That's the Hokage you're talking about."
"Please, he secretly checks me out every time I see him. Cooped up in that office all day, he can't keep his lecherous eyes from glancing my way when this..." and she motioned at her figure, "..walks in the room."
"You could wear something a little less revealing." chided Kurenai as he looked at the fishnet shirt.
"Fine." Anko said. "Since you think he's such an upstanding and saintly leader, let's count the number of times he glances at my figure and if it's less than five I'll pay for dinner tonight." wagered the kunoichi and Kurenai agreed as she couldn't believe that the Hokage was like that and wanted to end the conversation before someone overheard.
x-x
Sitting back in his seat and waiting for anyone else that was coming to arrive, Inoichi stopped himself from looking to his right. He knew who was there and he tried to fight temptation as much as he could. All he had to do was get through the meeting.
Though he didn't want to complain, the fact that he and others had been injured as well as his wife having been adamant that the child should not go undisciplined for his actions had prompted his filling out the complaint. Glancing around to see who else had come, he found several jonin ninja and numerous civilians. Whether they had also filed complaints, or were just people attending the public meeting, he couldn't be sure but he wondered how many other people were going to show up.
They were in the mission assignment room with several rows of chairs arranged in front of the Hokage and his former teammates who were Village Elders. Turning back around he invariably saw the person he had been trying not to look at, which was Shimura Danzo. The final Village Elder was sitting in the same row but about five seats down from him. Normally Danzo should have been seated with the other two Village Elders but since he had likely also put in a complaint, the man was instead seated in front of his peers.
The reason why he was trying to avoid even looking at Danzo was due to the man's new appearance. After having been scolded by hot tea, Danzo's face had more bandages on it than ever before. For as long as Inoich had been on the Village Council, Danzo had worn bandages over the right eye, part of the cheek, and the forehead. The forehead bandages were assumed to be in place of a forehead protector as Danzo was no longer on active duty but they could have also been more scars. Since the tea incident, Danzo's entire head was covered with bandages, with some black hair sticking out at the top of his head. The coverings hid the entire face, save for a little slit on the left side, which was obviously for the man to still see through with his one good eye.
The problem that Inoichi faced, was the simple fact that he found Danzo's new appearance amusing. Ever since he walked into the room nearly fifteen minutes prior, sat down, and then turned left, he had to hold back his several outbursts of laughter. It was terribly unprofessional and completely disrespectful on his part but he just couldn't stop from himself from thinking humorous thoughts and smiling ever time he looked at the man.
No one else in the room seemed to find it amusing and obviously the man himself would not be the least bit amused by Inoichi's laughter. 'If I laugh at him here and now, I don't think I can ever go a council meeting ever again.' thought Inoichi and instead of feeling any sense of obligation concerning the situation and the stance he should be taking, he had to put his hand to his mouth to stop himself from laughing and keep a smile off his face.
'Perhaps the nurses just wanted to cover up his perpetual frown.' he idly thought and mentally cursed at his weakness over the situation and how those thoughts were not helping. He however couldn't keep his composure and ended up turning himself slightly to the right in order to try and stay out of Danzo's view.
Watching the rare scene before him, the Sandaime held back his mirth. Inoichi was really trying to keep it together but Danzo did look rather comical. 'If his hair was green, he could be easily mistaken him for a walking daikon (Japanese radish).' thought the Hokage and he kept his facial feature as unmoving as he could before a small smile formed. He made sure he didn't look in Danzo's direction but his former teammates sitting beside him knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Now he's more bandage than man." commented Koharu in a quiet voice that was meant only for her two teammates. The three almost managed to keep straight faces at the expense of their fellow ninja but ultimately failed. It wasn't often that anything remotely interesting or amusing happened to Shimura Danzo so it was a treat. The man had no clan, no family, no hobbies, and save for the illicit ones that the Sandaime was in the process of shutting down, seemingly had no life outside of being a Village Elder. While they should be feeling sorry for the man being scalded with tea, they just couldn't get past the amusement of the situation and new look.
The report that they had all read the previous day concerning eyewitness accounts of what had happened between Naruto, Inoichi, and Danzo was one the funniest in the past few years. Most reports that came past the Hokage's desk were of the morose variety. However, hearing that Inoichi sat on Danzo's lap and spilled the man's tea all over him had truly brightened the Hokage's day.
Looking through the large pile of complaints before him, the Sandaime's previous mirth waned. Thirty two complaints had been filed in one single afternoon and all against Uzumaki Naruto. 'Had one of these individuals taken to poisoning the boy for revenge?' he wondered but wouldn't be sure until everything was discussed. He had glanced through the stack but not looked over them carefully as other things were on his mind at the time when they were arriving on his desk.
The set of double doors opened as more people entered and pairs of eyes diverted to see who it was. 'Kakashi and Gai.' thought the surprised Hokage as he looked through the complaints to see if either had filed a complaint and what it entailed. 'Destruction of private property for Kakashi and... unspecified for Gai.' thought an intrigued Hokage as he looked over Gai's and found that the man had not filled in any of the normal complaint check-boxes or given an explanation of the complaint. 'I'm surprised Kakashi even showed up on time for this.' he commented but continued looking through the stack.
Glancing at Asuma, the Sandaime looked over his son and knew that he shouldn't have left the hospital. Moving Asuma's complaint to the front of the pile, he decided to deal with that one first so that his son could go back and rest.
Many civilians had shown up and most of the complaints were from civilians. Knowing that a good portion were likely bogus, the Sandaime had prepared by bringing the garbage bin for the room over behind the covered desk he was at. The bin sat right beside him to he could properly file the complaints that turned out to be phony or of no legal standing. 'I'll give another five minutes before starting.'
x-x
Opening the double doors, Anko strode into the room and was followed by Kurenai. "Wow, look at how many other people were that lechers victims." she said in a low voice as they looked for a pair of open seats. Kurenai only shook her head at the statement and as Anko did not get the desired response from her statement, the purple-haired kunoichi continued, "And he's only been back to the village for less than a day. My case is gonna be easier to win that fighting an academy student."
"Anko, did you even read the summons notice from the Hokage?"
"Glanced at it." Anko admitted and spoke up about something she had noted in the room, "Most of the people here are men and he groped all of them? Kurenai, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but it looks like..."
"Anko, don't finish that sentence." interrupted Kurenai as she took her seat and Anko was soon to follow, sitting in the open seat next to her friend.
"They aren't here to complain about Asuma, Anko. If you had read the summons you would know that." the red-eyed woman tried to explain while rubbing her temples.
'Not here for him?' Anko repeated in her head and then out loud.
"Shit, they're here about me!" realized Anko and she tried to run but was grabbed by Kurenai and forced back into her chair. Still sitting, Kurenai's chair was pulled several feet as the sitting kunoichi used chakra to hold it to the ground and keep Anko from making a fool out of both of them. The dark haired woman was thankful that they were at the back of the room and few could see what was happening. "They're not here for you either Anko." Kurenai explained to the struggling kunoichi and Anko settled down.
"That's one." Anko said and Kurenai looked at her confused for a second before she realized what her friend was talking about. In a hushed voice she responded, "He did not look at you." to which Anko merely nodded that the Sandaime had.
"He was probably just looking at you because of the fool you were making out of yourself." believed Kurenai but Anko felt differently, "Then why was his vision clearly on the bouncing twins."
The conversation between the two was soon forgotten as the Hokage cleared his throat and began the meeting, "Some of you have been summoned concerning complaints filed against Uzumaki Naruto." stated the Hokage and he ignored the low exclamation of 'Oh thank Kami!' coming from the back of the room.
"As each complaint is presented I must ask that all of you remain quiet. I will not stand any outburst of any kind during this meeting. It does not matter if you filed a complaint or are just here to attend the public meeting. This will be a civil and orderly meeting. Anything to the contrary will result in the voiding of your complaint or expulsion from the room. Judgment will be decided upon at the end of the meeting after all the complaints have been presented." announced the Hokage as he was about to let Naruto into the room and would not stand for any disruption.
Nodding to the ninja at the door, they let in Naruto, who was escorted by an ANBU to the front of the room to sit at a prepared chair which did not face the crowd. 'You'd never know that he nearly died yesterday.' thought the Sandaime and he was saddened by the thought but thankful that Naruto had recovered. Looking to Naruto and waiting for him to sit, the Sandaime began, "There are thirty two complaints being brought against you Naruto-kun."
"That's way more than last time." Naruto commented nonchalantly and the Sandaime ignored the statement as he explained when and a general location of where the events occurred which led to the complaints.
"The first complaint is from Sarutobi Asuma. Please stand and explain your complaint." intoned the Hokage as he knew he was in for a very long meeting given the standard method of going through each and every complaint in detail.
Sitting near the very front of the room, Asuma stood on unsteady legs and before he could say anything, the Sandaime interrupted, "Asuma, I think you should really go back to the hospital."
"Don't fine, I'm worry." stated Asuma and the Sandaime stopped himself from sweat-dropping before asking, "Someone please take Asuma back to the hospital."
Before any of the ninja guards could move, Inoichi was out of his seat and walking down the few rows between his and Asuma's seats. Deciding that he really shouldn't have come and worried that he could not keep a straight face when his time came to explain the complaint, or worse, when Danzo's time came to explain the complaint, Inoichi decided it was best to just leave.
Taking Asuma's arm, he helped the fellow ninja get down the row and then proceeded to the door. Unfortunately for Inoichi, to get to the door, he needed to pass by his old row and came face to face with Danzo. Trying to keep a straight face failed as the blonde's mind thought of one last thing, 'Even the bandages are scowling now, or perhaps they scowl for him.'
No sooner than he had passed Danzo's row than he snorted with laughter and hurried to try and get out of the room before it got worse.
"Kami look at his face." said Anko in a normal voice, confident that the rather delirious looking Asuma may not even hear or comprehend the statement.
"I didn't even notice how ugly he was. Are you really sure you want to get closer to that?" questioned Anko to the friend beside her as the man in question was guided past their seats.
"That's not funny Anko." said a serious looking Kurenai before she looked back in pity upon the man. Asuma still looked to be in bad shape from the bites and she thought he must have broken out of the hospital as it was hard to believe the nurses had let him leave to attend the meeting while still recovering.
"Inoichi sure got a kick out of it." Anko commented as the pair of shinobi passed by and the doors were opened for them so they could leave the room. Kurenai wondered what Inoichi had been chuckling about but quickly pushed the thought out of her mind as she focused on something else.
"Anko the swelling and bruising is from your snakes." said Kurenai and she wasn't sure if it was one of Anko's tasteless jokes or if she actually being serious and had forgotten causing the injuries.
"Oh, right." Anko acknowledged and looked slightly sheepish as it had been her severe retaliation that put the man in the hospital.
x-x
The meeting continued as the Sandaime went through several complaints from civilians, most of which were quickly filed into the trash bin. The fruit stand owner and tea shop owner however had been different. Naruto had caused property and produce damage at both establishments and everyone would have to wait until the end of the meeting to find out what the decision would be regarding those two complaints.
Looking over the next complaint, the Sandaime called the two ninja who had filed it, "Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo." 'Filing jointly.' he thought to himself.
The two Chunin in question both stood and Kotetsu began to explain their complaint, "You see Hokage-sama, both Izumo and myself were watching the village gate when Uzumaki-san appeared out of nowhere and crashed into both of us..." but they were promptly interrupted by one of the Village Elders.
"Are we to understand that both of you, the gate guards at the village's main entrance, were taken by surprise by Uzumaki-san?" asked Homura while looking at both Chunin critically. Both Izumo and Kotetsu fidgeted at being placed on the spot and realized that putting in the complaint may not have put them in the best light.
Having already been through a good portion of the complaints and noting by the clock that it had taken several hours to do so, the kage and elders was losing his patience. Looking at the two Chunin, the Sandaime spoke so that all could hear, "You're Chunin ninja, he's five. It is very inconceivable that he could have hurt either of you to any appreciable degree in some sort of surprise attack. If you press the issue, you'll find yourselves genin again."
"Hai, Hokage-sama." acknowledged both Chunin in unison and they sat down. Not a second later, Izumo was whispering to his counterpart about how bad of an idea it had been to fill out the form. While the Sandaime tossed the complaint and looked to the next, he suddenly remembered something.
"Is this incident why you both were unable to report for duty yesterday?" he demanded and both Chunin's eyes widened before they glanced to each other and knew they were in more trouble.
"Come to my office after the meeting." said the Sandaime and they both nodded, knowing it was not a request.
Holding back a heavy sigh, the Sandaime glanced at the next complaint and frowned before looking up at the person in question, "Maito Gai."
The green beast in question was instantly to his feet and acknowledged his name with a loud, "Hai, Hokage-sama!" A moment elapsed in which nothing else happened and the Sandaime realized that he would need to prompt the man before getting a response, "You've filed a complaint but have failed to provide any explanation or even fill out the paperwork entirely. Care to explain?"
"Yosh! I was in the middle of a youthful race with Uzumaki-san but we were interrupted when I crashed into a bystander..." Gai began in an exuberant voice but the Sandaime quickly interjected. "Gai is this even a legitimate complaint?" he asked as he had the feeling that it was not.
"Of course it is a legitimate complaint Hokage-sama, we did not get to finish the race, so I'm complaining." stated Gai as if the answer was obvious.
'Gai, do you even understand the complaint form and its usage?' thought the Sandaime but refrained from asking the question to the man out loud. "I see..." was all he said and readily filed the complaint into the garbage. "You'll have to talk with Uzumaki-san privately about finishing that race." he concluded before glancing down at Naruto and watching the boy soundlessly mouth the words, 'Keep him away from me.'
Finally letting out the sigh he had been holding, the Sandaime looked to the next complaint and called out, "Hatake Kakashi."
Noting the bandage around the copy-nin's head, the Sandaime wondered exactly what the property damage was and then he realized that something was missing from Kakashi's normal public persona, 'Don't tell me...'
"Sandaime-sama, as I was walking down the street, I was the 'bystander' that Gai spoke of during his race with Uzumaki-san..." and before Kakashi could finish, and having a good idea where the man was headed, the Sandaime cut to the chase and asked, "And the destruction of private property?"
Reaching into a pocket on his ninja vest, Kakashi produced an orange covered and the Sandaime suppressed a groan. The orange cover was bent backwards and looked to have been covered with mud. Also the spine of the book appeared to have been ripped.
"My book..." Kakashi began and seemed to be holding back tears, "...was irreparably damaged..." and he didn't finish the statement as he looked in sadness upon his destroyed property. All the times he had read it cover to cover flashed before his eyes and only the Sandaime calling his name brought him out from the flashbacks.
"Kakashi!..." started the Sandaime again as he was trying to hold back his anger and frustration at what a huge waste of time the complaint had been, "...those books just dropped in price and about 10 Ryo a piece now..." Stopping as he realized he had said too much, the Sandaime cleared his voice and added, "...Or so I hear...Are you honestly trying to tell me that you can't afford another one and are looking for recompense?!" questioned the Hokage of his ninja and Kakashi's only rebuttal was, "It was one of a kind. It's not the same!"
As the Elders beside him shook their heads, he file the complaint into the bin next to him, then sighed again and wondered if his well trained ninja were little more than schoolchildren. Looking to the next form, the Sandaime read the name and the complaint. 'Well, since Inoichi isn't here anymore and didn't come back...' he reasoned and filed the complaint into the proper bin. Looking to the next one, he held back a smile at the person listed but then thought, 'Drat, I should have moved this closer to the head of the pile when I had the chance.'
It wasn't that he disliked his former friend and rival, but they didn't agree upon anything remotely related to Naruto. He had a feeling Danzo would use try to use the incident to his advantage
"Shimura Danzo." stated the Hokage as he slightly frowned at the fact that a portion of the gathered people had already left the room by that point.
The bandaged man stood and began to speak but the bandages over his mouth muffled and his words and the Sandaime interrupted, "I'm sorry Danzo-san but I'm having trouble hearing your statement. Perhaps if you could remove some of those bandages." suggested the Sandaime.
Slowly Danzo's bandaged hand moved to his mouth and pushed aside the wrappings to barely uncover his lips, "As I was saying, due to the boy's rampage through the village, I ended up being scalded by hot tea."
"First or second-degree burns?" asked Koharu and Danzo turned slightly before replying, "First."
"Would you care to elaborate on the circumstances of your...scalding?" requested the Hokage and Danzo soon replied, "I was sitting in a tea shop when Yamanaka Inoichi fell into me, knocking the tea that I had just received into the air, where it splashed onto my person. From what I gathered, Yamanaka-san was bitten on the leg by Uzumaki-san and lost his balance." explained Danzo and the Sandaime decided to ask one more question, "And Yamanaka-san fell on top of you?"
"On my lap." admitted Danzo and the statement was met with a catcall from the back of the room and a few chuckles from a select few seated people. 'Thank you Anko.' thought the Sandaime and those that knew Danzo could tell that he was probably glaring ever so slightly, though with the bandages on, it was nearly impossible for anyone else to perceive. Slightly disappointed at the outcome of his questioning, the Sandaime thought, 'It's no fun when he isn't the least bit embarrassed by that.'
Turning to Naruto with an expectant look, the boy knew exactly what the Hokage wanted to know, which was why he had bitten Inoichi. "What?! He stepped on my hand." admitted Naruto to the unanswered question.
Shaking his head slightly at the response and really wanting to get to the end of the complaints to finally find out why Naruto had done such things, the Sandaime pushed Danzo's complaint aside and looked at the following one.
"S-sexual harassment!" said the Sandaime in a loud slightly shaky voice with surprise evident on his face and in the tone. His pipe dropped from his mouth and hit the floor, scattering ash and tobacco beneath his seat.
"That's me!" announced an exuberant Anko as she stood up from her seat at the back of the room, while the kunoichi beside her sweat-dropped. The purple-haired woman looked around and hurriedly decided to amend her statement, "I mean, that's my complaint."
As the Sandaime nodded slightly and tried to determine how to broach the question of how Naruto had possibly sexually harassed her, the kunoichi in question held down her hand next to her side with her fingers indicating the number 'three' for Kurenai to see. The red-eyed kunoichi promptly sighed, ignoring Anko's smirk, as she too had noted the Sandaime's glance at Anko's chest.
Completely confused at the complaint, the Sandaime didn't properly examine the form before he started to question his kunoichi, "H-he sexually harassed you?!" asked the Sandaime and his voice broke on the first word that came out of his mouth.
Thinking that the Sandaime was talking about Asuma, Anko answer, "Yep, he groped me."
"He groped you?!" repeated the Sandaime with a slight blush and Anko quickly expanded upon the statement to better make her case. "Took a big ol' grab of my breast." said Anko as she proceeded to cup her left breast as if to show everyone some kind of evidence.
The Sandaime dropped his pipe again and Anko quickly put her hand down to her side, indicating 'Four' with her fingers.
"That one doesn't count, Anko!" complained Kurenai in a hushed voice as she responded to the indicated number of fingers. How could a person not look when Anko was lewdly grabbing herself in such a manner.
"Right in the middle of the street and in front of everyone." said Anko in a very dramatic voice and she added, "never been more embarrassed in my life," making it appear as if the experience was incredibly distressing and taken quite a toll on her well-being.
Most were dubious about her last statement but they decided to let it go as whispers encircled the room. The Sandaime leaned back slightly and took a moment to converse with his former teammates.
'What's going on?' wondered Naruto as he tried to figure out what everyone was talking about. Turning in his seat, he looked to the purple-haired lady in the back but really didn't recognize her. 'She must be one of the ones that I bumped into.' he guessed and wondered if sexual harassment and groping were other ways of saying that he had bumped into her.
Though he had no idea why she would grab her chest or what a 'breast' was. 'I can't even reach those.' realized Naruto and concluded that it had been part of the dramatic scene that the woman had been putting on and she was instead indicating her heart. 'Maybe I hurt her feelings?' he guessed but he had no way of knowing.
He was brought out of his thoughts when the Hokage began asking him something, "Naruto-kun, did you really do that to Mitarashi-san?" and the elderly kage hoped that Naruto would refute the statement and complaint.
Not having any idea what was going on or what sexual harassment or groping was, Naruto relied on his patented maneuver in those situations, which was to scratch the back of his head and give a nervous laugh with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
The Hokage and two Village Elders were quite shocked to say the least. The three leaned back again and began having another conversation while whispers in the seated audience continued. After about a minute of discussion, the three returned to how they had been situated and the Sandaime leaned forward slightly to speak more directly with Naruto.
"Naruto-kun, you simply can't do that sort of thing. When this is over you will be apologizing to Mitarashi-san. Are we clear?" he asked and waited on pins and needles for a response.
"Uh, okay. I didn't hurt her did I?" asked Naruto as he couldn't understand why the Hokage was being so serious about the complaint. He supposed it was rather rude but it didn't seem like a big deal, especially not how much everyone was making it out to be.
Glancing back at the person in question, the Sandaime answered, "I very much doubt that."
'Well that's a relief I guess.' thought Naruto as he leaned back in his seat. 'What a strange day. I should have stayed in the hospital.' he realized as despite hating the place, it was much better than his current situation.
Leaning slightly further forward, the Sandaime decided to put a stop to such acts in the future, "Naruto-kun, you have to please promise me that you won't go doing that sort of thing ever again." said the Sandaime in a serious voice and before Naruto could say anything, the Hokage pleaded, "You have to promise me that you won't be doing that sort of thing to anyone, are we clear?"
Naruto looked very confused at the Hokage and what he thought the Old Man was asking. While the kage and two elders waited on baited breath for the response, Naruto thought over what was being asked. What he really wanted was to get back to his apartment and look for the mask and the best way to do that was to just answer yes, however what the Hokage was asking for was a promise.
'I wouldn't be able to bump into someone ever again and I have to promise that? I can't go back on a promise.' Naruto realized as he debated the situation. Did the Old Man know how hard it would be to never come into contact with another individual while walking the streets of Konoha ever again. People bumped into him all the time, sometimes on purpose. A simple bump would break the promise and what if someone was to bump into him? 'That's just stupid.'
"Why should I?" inquired Naruto as he adopted a serious expression.
'Kami help us, this is not he time for such a discussion.' thought the Sandaime as he was slightly unprepared for the question. As he remained silent, trying to think up the best response to convince his adopted grandson to forsake the dangerous and completely deviant path he was on, he decided it might be best to just give Naruto the hard truth, the Sandaime responded, "Because it's illegal, Naruto-kun. Illegal in Konoha and everywhere else."
Naruto sat gobsmacked at what he had just been told and the two Village Elders nodding their heads only compounded the feeling. 'Bumping into someone is against the law!?' he thought and couldn't believe such a thing.
"No way!" responded Naruto in disbelief at the statement.
"Naruto!" chastised the Sandaime in a raised voice at the exact opposite answer he wanted to hear but Naruto kept talking before he could say anything else, "I see people do that all the time in the street.
And now you're telling me its against the law!"
Now it was the Village Elders and Hokage's turn to be gobsmacked, along with a portion of the gathered ninja and civilians who could hear the entire conversation.
"My god! What kind of village have I let prosper on my watch all these years!' thought the Sandaime as he couldn't believe what Naruto was telling him and struggled to come to terms with such a statement about his village, where apparently sexual harassment was an everyday occurrence and quite tolerated.
"He's the second coming of Jiraiya. No, he's even worse." commented Koharu in a daze while shaking her head.
"But it's not just him, apparently its the whole village." said Homura as he thought of moving outside the village with his family, where it was safe.
While the three continued to sit in bewilderment, along with a good portion of the other people gathered in the room, the two kunoichi at the back of the room were just plain confused. Anko was not liking how her complaint was panning out. She had expected to hear the words, 'cash settlement,' but that was apparently not the case as the heads of the village appeared to be discussing something with the brat at the front of the room. She couldn't hear what had been said but suddenly the three went catatonic and most of the room went quiet.
"Hey, Nai-chan." said Anko as she got her friends attention and hoped Kurenai was equally perplexed at what was happening.
"Yes, Anko." responded Kurenai as she watched over the front half of the room and their reactions.
"What the hell is going on up there?" asked Anko and Kurenai quickly responded with, "I have no idea."
"Hey, Nai-chan."
"Yes, Anko." replied Kurenai with a slight sigh.
"I think I broke them." Anko said and Kurenai couldn't help but agree, though she wondered what the other conversations with the boy had been about. From so far back and with such hushed voices by those involved, they hadn't caught much of the exchange.
"Hey, Nai-chan." Anko began again.
"What now, Anko."
"I won the bet." pointed out the purple-haired woman and Kurenai cursed under her breath as she also knew that Anko had won. She had hoped that Anko had missed the last few glances but that was not the case.
Back at the front of the room, Koharu was the first to come to her senses and realize that something was wrong, and not with Uzumaki Naruto. Looking to the complaint paper, she picked it up and began looking at it. While the Sandaime was thinking about his biological grandson and how Konohamaru would grow up in such a village, he thought to his son and wondered why Anko had attacked Asuma if Naruto had groped her.
Homura began coming to similar conclusions and decided to question the person making the claim, "Mitarashi-san." he called to get the kunoichi's attention, "Are we to understand that Uzumaki-san groped you two days ago and this is the reason for your complaint?"
Anko looked at the Elder curiously and then started laughing. The laughter brought the attention of everyone in the room and tried to get her words out in between the laughter, "You thought...that the brat...oh Kami!" she continued and finally stopped laughing enough to talk, "That kid didn't grope me." she revealed and explained, "That's absurd, the brat can't even reach my incredibly supple breasts."
'Thank Kami. He can't reach her supply breast.' thought the Hokage as he repeated what Anko had said. He really didn't like where everything was headed and was glad that Naruto was innocent. For a few moments he thought he might have had a heart attack.
As Anko stopped laughing entirely and became serious again, she stated while looking directly at the Sandaime, "You're son's the one that groped me."
Dropping his pipe again, the Sandaime's mind was sent reeling before was prodded in the arm by Koharu who held up the complaint sheet for him to see. "You didn't even read this complaint completely, did you Hiruzen?" she said and the elderly kage glanced over to see his son's name written on the complaint and not Naruto's. He had missed that fact, 'Damnit!'
'So its not the village, or Naruto, but my own family. What kind of son have I been raising all these years?' he wondered and looked over the form again.
'Why was this in the same pile as all the ones concerning Naruto?' he questioned as it should have been given to him separately. Deciding that he needed to take control of the situation he began speaking to the entire room, "Since this claim does not deal directly with Uzumaki Naruto, it will be addressed at a later date, privately, and when the person it is being filed against is present to defend."
"I waited here all this time to find out I have to come at another time!" shouted Anko and the Sandaime sighed while nodding his head to the kunoichi who promptly stormed out of the room ranting about the time she had wasted. Glancing at Nartuo, he thought, 'I really hope he forgets everything that just happened. I really don't feel like giving him such a talk.'
Before he began looking at the next complaint, his eyes wandered to Danzo. Though he knew there was no smile on the bandaged man's face, nor any movement of the bandages at all, he could tell that Danzo was smiling. 'Smug bastard.'
x-x
More than an hour later, the complaints were finally all explained and a few more people had left the room as they weren't willing to sit and wait for judgment. Since starting, it had been nearly two and half hours. Most complaint meetings were over in minutes and everyone was glad that it was nearly over with.
With the majority of filings against the boy being sorted into the trash can, the Sandaime and Village Elders only needed to hear Naruto's side of the story before passing judgment on the few valid complaints remaining. The tea shop owner and fruit-stand owner would have be dealt with and then the few people that had legitimate minor injury complaints against Naruto. That included Danzo and about ten civilians which was less than half of the original number of injury complaints, with Danzo's being the most severe.
"Now that all the complaints have been heard, it is time to hear Uzumaki-san's version of events and explanation for his actions." and with that all eyes, turned to the seated Naruto...who was fast a sleep.
'He's got the right idea.' thought a tired kage but in the interest of finally finishing the meeting, he loudly cleared his throat and woke the boy up.
"I'm still here." grumbled Naruto as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"Yes, you're still here and so are the rest of us." said the Sandaime in a low voice and he began speaking louder for everyone to hear, "Now can you please explain to us the reason for what prompted your actions two days ago and why thirty two complaints were filed against you with eight people visiting the hospital?"
Naruto inhaled briefly before saying, "A ramen coupon."
"A ramen coupon?" repeated the Sandaime incredulously as he set his pipe down on the desk in fear of dropping it again.
"Not just any ramen coupon! It was from Ichiraku's and this was twenty percent off!" Naruto protested as he tried to emphasize the importance of the coupon. Murmurs began throughout the gathered people but a look from the Sandaime put a stop to the conversations.
'Its just one stupid thing after another today and this seems to be the crescendo. At least he has the excuse of being a child but still.' thought the Sandaime before asking the question that everyone else wanted to know, "And how exactly did a ramen coupon cause you to destroy public property and lead to so many minor injuries?"
"The wind took it right out of my hand." admitted Naruto and at the look that the two elders and kage gave him, he confessed in a single breath, "I had to chase after it and it flew down the street and I had to get it back since it was going to run out that afternoon and Old Man Teuchi wouldn't let me redeem it after the expiration date."
Before the Sandaime could completely process the hastily spoken sentence, Naruto was already continuing the story, "I kept trying to get it back but idiots kept getting in my way. They stepped on it and then stepped on me. When I finally got through and stopped getting bumped into, that crazy green guy started chasing me. After he ran into the lazy one, the coupon went high into the air was stolen by the two ninja guys that you yelled at. I had to get it back but then it got away again and it started to get wet from the rain...and...and...and THEN IT FELL INTO A PUDDLE AND ALL THE INK WASHED AWAY!" wailed Naruto as he was close to tears by the end of his explanation.
A long silence elapsed as everyone waited to see if the story was finally over and when Naruto said nothing else, the three at the front of the room began discussing what they just heard. "His entire story sounds very...improbable." concluded Homura and Koharu quickly agreed, however the Sandaime knew Naruto very well and said, "It does explain everything and I don't think he was lying or would lie about ramen." and he frowned at the looks he got from his teammates concerning the last part of his statement.
"Regardless of how embellished the story may or many not be, we still need to decide on a punishment." said Homura and Koharu augmented his statement, "Despite being a minor, he has caused quite the ruckus. Failing to do anything will look poorly upon our leadership." With the two elders in agreement, they looked to the Hokage for his suggestion on the punishment.
Never before had one so young caused so many problems in a single day and with Naruto's age in mind, the Sandaime put forth, "A lengthy community service? Supervised of course. He could complete some of the easier D-ranks under a ninja's watch with the money given to the ninja and the usual amount going to the village to recoup the cost of damages and hospital bills."
Both elders nodded at the suggestion as it was fair to everyone involved, "Am I to assume that the length of the service will be commiserate with however long it takes to pay the village back?" asked Koharu and the Sandaime nodded.
With their decision made, the Sandaime gave his ruling on the matter, "It is the decision of this meeting that Uzumaki-san shall complete indefinite community service until the cost of the damages is paid back to the village. The cost of injuries and damage will be covered by the village."
The punishment was meant with a fair amount of criticism but before the Hokage could regain order in the room, Danzo began speaking, "I assume that the service will only be for a few hours each day. Given his lack of proper supervision during the rest of the day, what is to stop Uzumaki-san from running rampant in the village again?" the bandaged man questioned of the three and Sandaime kept his features neutral as he thought about what Danzo was saying and listened to the agreement of the audience.
Thinking over the situation and whether it was best to squash the comment and those that were agreeing with it, the Sandaime had a thought which could appease what Danzo was saying and also work out well for Naruto.
"Well if you feel that strongly about it Elder Danzo, perhaps something else should be done as well." suggested the Sandaime and his statement was met with agreement from audience members, surprise from the two other elders, and a slight look of trepidation from Naruto.
'Hiruzen is agreeing with me.' thought Danzo as he tried to remember the last time such a thing had happened. He thought perhaps it was during the last ninja war as he couldn't remember a time since then in which the Hokage had agreed with him in a public setting. A slight frown adorned his covered face as he knew that the Sandaime must have a plan and it would not favor him at all.
"I believe the main concern here is that Naruto would still be unsupervised in the village during the majority of the day. Therefore, I think the best course of action would be to admit him to the Academy a year early. That way he would spend most his day under the supervision of a Chunin instructor and a good portion of the remainder of the day on community service for the village." put forth the Sandaime and his statement was met with mixed results.
Most of the civilians who knew enough about the ninja system, were happy with the arrangement. No matter how much they complained, they could not prevent Naruto from enrolling in the Academy. The remainder were against Naruto joining the Academy at all but the Sandaime didn't really care about their opinions. Danzo was rather stuck in an unfavorable position. With the Sandaime getting closer to shutting down his Root Foundation, he wasn't about to suggest it as an alternative, especially given how many civilians were present in the room. They were absolutely not supposed to know about his activities. His original plan had been to try and get the boy under his personal supervision but he would refrain from putting forth the suggestion since most of the people present were in agreement and waited until the end of the meeting to leave.
Naruto for his part was incredibly surprised that he would be getting into the academy a year early. The prospect of hours of community service was temporarily pushed from his mind and he mostly forgot about sexual harassment and the legality of bumping into people.
x-x
Before they parted ways from finishing lunch, Anko decided to put in one last reminder concerning the bet, "Don't forget about diner tonight. I'll swing by to pick you up at 7:30. Wear something...sexy."
Kurenai blushed slightly at the last part of Anko's reminder as the purple-haired kunoichi had increased the volume of her voice so that other people sitting near them could eavesdrop. 'Seven times.' she remembered and her faith in the Hokage as an upstanding leader of the village was diminished slightly with each glance.
As the two parted ways and Kurenai wondered how much she would be spending on diner that night, Anko said one last thing, "You don't have a curfew do you?"