A/N: I'm sorry this one took more than a month. I don't have any excuses. This chapter is just, so far, the hardest one to write. I think I might need to visit a doctor for some anti-depressant prescription. Just kidding.
Thanks again for reading the story and leaving wonderful reviews. I really hope and pray that you like this chapter.
Chapter Six:
.
"T-This is for me?" She asked, looking curiously at the small plastic container that he placed on her hands.
"Yeah, I would like you to wear them, that is, if you don't mind." He made a lopsided smile before downing his drink.
"Well, you know I can't turn down a customer's request, right?" She said shyly.
"Is that so?" He asked, playfully raising an eyebrow at her. "Then I want to see you wearing that the next time I come here."
"O-Okay." She looked at him puzzled. "What's inside?"
"Contact lenses. Have you ever worn one before?"
"N-No. Aren't these used for vision problems? My eyesight's not that bad, I hope. What's it for?" She stopped herself from examining the round container when she realized that her companion had gone quiet. She looked up and saw his eyes. She could see them again, as he stared down his drink- that hint of sadness that had once disappeared. "Uzumaki-san?"
"H-Huh? What?"
"Is there something wrong?"
There was another sad smile she was so familiar with as he shook his head. "Nah, don't mind me."
She had an idea that his silence had something to do with the woman he had talked about before. The reason he was there at that same room last week, the other day, and today. It was not in her character to hate a person she had never met, but she couldn't help it, knowing that this person in front of her was hurting because of that woman. She bit her lip, reaching for the bottle of beer on his hand and carefully placing it back on the table. "Alright." She said, clearing her throat as she rose from her seat and stood directly in front of him. She wanted to make him happy, so she did, in the only way she knew she could.
She gently lifted his chin with her finger, as she said, "L-Look at me, Uzumaki-san."
For the first time that night, she danced for him.
Oooxxxooo
Hinata woke up at the gentle strokes that were grazing her cheeks. She opened her eyes, blinking away sleep, and saw that the hand belonged to Kiba, and he was looking at her with worried eyes.
"Are you alright?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"Y-Yes. I was just sleeping, Kiba-kun."
"No." He frowned. "You were crying."
"What?" Her fingers reached for her eyes, and her mouth hung open in surprise when she found them wet with tears.
Kiba lifted his hand and continued to run a thumb across her cheeks. "Is there something wrong?"
"N-No.. Don't worry about it. Just some... weird dream." Hinata looked down to avoid his gaze.
"Okay." Kiba sighed, unstrapping his seatbelt from him. "I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, alright? Free of charge. Tell me if something's bothering you. I'll make sure to punch that something straight in the face!" He smiled, seeing her face light up a bit. "I'm just kidding. But are you sure you're awake? That's your apartment right there."
"Really?" Hinata looked out the window and saw that old gray building at the right corner of the street.
"We've been parked here for more than thirty minutes now."
"Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! Why didn't wake me up earlier?" She asked apologetically.
Kiba leaned back on his seat, placing both hands casually on top of his head. "I-I just think it's nice to watch you sleep..." He said, looking at her from the corner of his eyes and found her staring back. "You were drooling all over my car seat, you know that?"
"I was not!" She exclaimed, blushing. "W-Well, did I really...?"
"No. I'm joking." He grinned.
Hinata narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, but suddenly burst out laughing. "Kiba-kun!"
"Okay, I said it was a joke! But at least I finally got you laughing. I really don't like it when you're making that face." Kiba paused, his smile slowly fading. "It's the one you always make when you're thinking about him."
"W-What?" She asked, surprised.
Kiba let out a deep sigh. "Never mind. Let me wake Menma-kun up so you two can finally go home." He eyed her one more time before he opened the door and got off his car, never bothering to answer her question. He saw her simply nod, as she followed him out of the car. With the way those beautiful white eyes avoided his, he could tell that he probably had it right, and it just really, really sucked to be right sometimes, he thought as he painfully swallowed that something that had formed in his throat.
"I'm sorry if I said something weird back there." Kiba was still the first one to break the silence that came between them. No one had said a word even after they all got off the black SUV, not even Menma, who just woke up, his small arms clinging onto Kiba's neck as the three of them strolled on the sidewalk heading to Hinata's apartment.
"That's alright. I know you're just worried." Hinata gave him a soft smile. "I must have weirded you out for crying like that while sleeping."
"Yeah. You're really weird." He replied, which made Hinata giggle.
"I know. That's why you don't have to worry yourself over me." She answered. "By the way, how's it going with this girl you said you're seeing?"
"Who? Tamaki?" Kiba raised his eyebrows and answered her nonchalantly. "We stopped dating."
"W-What?! Why?"
"I guess I'm really not that into those jealous-types."
"Really... What's she jealous about?"
"I don't know..." He stared at her for a moment and sighed, biting his tongue. "I just don't feel any connection with her at all. She's clingy, she's loud, and she's not... She's not.. She's not you-"
"Huh?"
"I mean 'your'! She's not 'your', uh, type... I think." He cleared his throat, seeing Hinata glare at him.
"What?! What does it have to do with me?"
"J-Just forget I said anything like that! And seeing you and Menma-kun is more important to me, so I called her earlier this afternoon to cancel our date tonight. She told me not to call her again, and that's it."
"A-Are you serious?" Hinata asked, feeling her mouth drop open when all she got as a response from the brown-haired man was a slight shrug of his shoulders. "That's terrible, Kiba-kun! Are you crazy? You're never going to get yourself a girlfriend if you won't stop being a..." She paused, covering her son's ears, which made Kiba laugh. "...horrible jerk!"
"I don't mind. Besides, it is more fun hanging out with you and this big guy right here. Right, Menma-kun?" He asked, looking at the little boy in his arms.
"Yup!" Menma answered cheerfully.
"See? Even your son agrees with me."
"Please... stop teaching him things like that." Hinata sighed in defeat.
"Alright, alright, sorry! Hey, sweetie, Uncle Kiba here is just kidding, okay? It's bad to ditch someone, especially a girl. Don't do that, alright?" He said to him, pinching the little boy's nose as he did so. "There, happy?"
"Yes. Thank you." Hinata gazed at Kiba, her lips stretching out into a smile. "And please call Tamaki-san again. I never said anything about her being not my type! I haven't even met her!"
"I'll think about it."
"Geez..." She shook her head, her smile growing wide. "B-But, thanks again for dropping us off, Kiba-kun. You really didn't have to."
"N-No problem." Kiba couldn't help but blush at the smile that Hinata gave him. He just loved it so much that he couldn't take his eyes off of it even as they reached the front door of her apartment complex. "W-Well, I better get going. Hana-neechan's waiting for me."
"Oh, she's crashing at your place again?"
"Yeah. For a couple of days. Having an older sister is such a huge pain in the ass sometimes, you know?"
"I'm sure Hanabi thinks the same." Hinata said, which made Kiba chuckle. "Thanks again, Kiba-kun. Drive safely, alright?"
"Yeah. I'll just see you again next week." He smiled. "And stop worrying about things! It won't do you any good."
"I-I'm not worried or anything."
"Tch. You think you can lie to me? I've known you for years." Kiba said with a wry smile. "Just call me if you need someone to talk to."
"That's really sweet, Kiba-kun. Thanks."
Finding himself blushing again, Kiba cleared his throat and patted Menma's head. "I'll see you again too, Menma-kun!"
"Goodbye, Uncle Kiba!"
He winked at Menma, giving him a high-five before finally turning his back and walked toward his car.
It was a cold and windy night, and that slight temperature drop had been a constant reminder, telling them that summer was about to end soon. But despite the chills brought by the cool breeze that blew past her, Hinata stood still in front of her apartment building, watching- staring- at Kiba's back.
Kiba was a good friend, Hinata thought to herself. He could be loud and harsh, and his straightforwardness annoyed some. But for Hinata, he was funny, kind, caring, sweet, and sometimes, even selfless.
'Why don't you just marry me, stupid?' She remembered him telling her, five years ago. There was no way that that statement was a proposal. He was yelling at her when he said those words. Probably because he was very upset- she recalled the pain in his voice and the hurt she saw in his eyes, when he looked at her like what happened was all his fault.
Kiba would have also been a great father to Menma. He was a great guy. He's pretty responsible, when it comes to being 'Uncle Kiba', that is. He has a stable job, and most of all, he and Menma got along pretty well. She had reasons to say yes... yet she didn't.
'Because he deserves to be happy.' She remembered thinking, when she declined.
And he wouldn't be- with her, stuck with something as big as a responsibility of taking care of a child who was not even his; with her, who was in love with someone else. She could have been selfish and said yes, but Hinata knew that Kiba deserved something more than that.
Hinata watched as he walked away, waving his hand, just like he used to. Kiba would get inside that car, close the door, start the engine, and go on an approximately one-and-a-half hour drive from here to where he lived, just like he used to. Then he would be back again one night, when Hinata's about to finish her shift, then drive her and Menma home... just like he always used to.
'...seeing you and Menma-kun is more important to me.'
Hinata felt a sudden pang of guilt, realizing that she might be unknowingly keeping him back.
"K-Kiba-kun!" She surprised herself when she suddenly shouted his name.
He was already at his car, about to open the door, when he saw her running toward him. "What is it?"
"I-I..." Hinata hesitated, chewing on her lower lip. "I just wanted to say thank you."
He looked at her, confused. "Didn't you just say that a couple of times a while ago?"
"No, I mean..." Hinata paused and looked at him straight in the eye. "I mean, thank you for always looking after me and Menma-kun. I am very, very grateful. I'm happy that you're always here for me when I need you. B-But you really don't have to do this. You live far away, and you, always coming here, seeing me and Menma-kun... I know these can all be tiring for you, and I don't want to be a bother... W-What I mean to say is that... I-I... I just want you to be happy. You should really try working it out with Tamaki-san-"
"W-What are you talking about?" Kiba shoved his keys back in his pocket and placed his hands over Hinata's shoulders.
"I-I think I'm holding you back, Kiba-kun. I might be getting in the way between you and Tamaki-san, and I don't like it. Y-You deserve to be happy." She looked down, avoiding his eyes.
"Is that why you're making 'this face' again?" Kiba asked, imitating her with a distorted frown and holding it longer to annoy Hinata.
"Stop that! I'm being serious here, Kiba-kun." She blushed, one of her hands slapping his chest repeatedly.
"Alright! I'm only kidding! I'm sorry!" Kiba laughed out loud, and at the same time, trying to block Hinata's hands with his, as she continued to attack him.
"J-Just forget it."
She was about to give him the last of those soft punches, when his hand caught hers, and she looked at him more confused than before when Kiba didn't let go. Hinata gazed at the hand that just closed a bit tighter. When she gazed back at him, the look he was giving her made her heart pound faster, and her ears instantly turned warm, despite the cold weather.
"Who said I wasn't happy?" He said in almost a whisper.
"Y-You can't be happy sticking with me, Kiba-kun."
"You really are so clueless, aren't you? Well, if you really didn't have the slightest clue, then let me tell you that..." He paused, his eyes staring deeply into hers. "...seeing you makes me happy. Hearing your voice makes me happy. Knowing that you care for me makes me really, really happy." The hand that was holding hers slowly let go and started caressing Hinata's cheeks. Kiba swallowed, noticing how Hinata's lips parted in surprise and her white eyes went a few millimeters wide. "Being near you... and simply touching you like this makes me so damned happy."
Hinata held her breath when Kiba slowly leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
"So don't think that I'm doing all these for you. I'm actually doing this for myself, because... you make me happy."
Hinata had to swallow the lump on her throat before she could speak again. "Kiba-kun.."
"I have to go. You should, too. Menma-kun is waiting for you."
In a daze, Hinata turned her head and found Menma peeking through the door, looking at her. "B-But.."
"I'll see you next week, Hinata."
"O-Okay."
Kiba watched her as she walked like she had just waken up from a trance, occasionally turning her head and glancing back at him. When Hinata and Menma completely disappeared through the door, that's when Kiba finally got inside his car. It was a good seven seconds worth of silence, before Kiba let out a deep breath and started to hit the steering wheel hard with his forehead.
"What the fuck did I just fucking do?" He closed his eyes, asking himself.
Oooxxxooo
The stairwell in Hinata's apartment, just like the front of the building, was old. It was steep, poorly lit, and the wooden stairs that could use a whole lot of renovation squeaked with their every step, the low creaking sound that it made was loudest in the silence.
'What the hell did just happen?' Hinata pondered to herself, delicate eyebrows furrowing as she recalled what had transpired between her and Kiba just a while ago.
Kiba sure did surprise her. She had known him for years, but never in her life had she seen him look at her like that. Not even when he asked her to go out with him. He always had that strong, confident look in his eyes that had gotten him into trouble many times, but tonight, Hinata didn't see even a trace of it. He was looking at her with eyes so passionate that, for a moment, she thought had swept her off her feet.
She didn't know Kiba could be so... gentle. Hinata could still feel the warmth of his lips on her forehead, when he said those words to her.
'You make me happy.'
"Careful, mom."
She heard a soft voice spoke, when she almost tripped on one of the steps. It was no other than her son, Menma, who had been holding her hand the whole time, staying equally quiet as the two of them walked up the stairs.
"Ah, I'm sorry, sweetie. Mom's just a bit tired." Hinata smiled.
"Alright. But why are we walking super slow?"
"W-Well, that's... I-It's because these steps are dangerous, honey. We have to be careful."
"They're not. I can run up the stairs without tripping. You wanna see, mom?"
"No, I better not-" But it had already been too late, for Menma suddenly let go of her hand and ran as fast as he could. "Menma-kun, don't run! Would you wait for me, please?" Hinata told Menma in her best motherly tone. "Oh God." Hinata sighed, hearing her son imitating the sound of a car, his sweet little voice echoing across the halls. She was fishing for her keys when she heard a faint sound of something falling off the stairs and that the sound of her son's footsteps halted. "Menma-kun!"
She was already running before she even realized it. Her heart almost dropped when she found his toy car at the bottom of the stairs with its wheels still running. "Menma-kun!"
"I'm here."
Hinata looked up and saw him standing at the top of the staircase.
"Oh my God, you scared me!" Hinata exclaimed.
She could see him despite the uneven lighting, and she frowned, when she caught his eyes fixed on something along the hall where their room was, then gazed back at her with a puzzled look on his face.
"Mom, is it seven days already?"
"What?" Her son's question caused her to stop mid-step, and she returned his gaze sadly, knowing full well what Menma was referring to. "Seven days? No. Not yet, sweetie. Yesterday was the fourth day, remember? And what's after number four?"
"Five?"
"That's right, sweetheart. Five."
Five.
It had already been five days since that incident between her and Hanabi. Her little sister apologized to her the next morning, and Hanabi shed tears for her, realizing that Hinata spent the whole night inside the bathroom, crying.
'Five days' also represented that simple truth that hurt- Naruto left her again. And seeing that he didn't drop by for the past few days, it could also mean the number of days he was on vacation with Sakura.
All things about Kiba completely forgotten, she wondered how he was doing. 'Did he manage to tell Sakura-san the truth?'
'What will happen to us now?'
"Five.. then six.. then seven!"
She heard Menma joyously recited.
"Very good, Menma-kun." She gave her son a warm smile. "But can you please stop shouting, sweetheart? You might wake up the neighbours."
"Okay!" He grinned, suddenly whispering. "But Mom, if it isn't seven days, yet, Then.. Then.. Then why is dad here?"
Her hand immediately grabbed the handrail for support when she almost tripped again. These stairs were going to be the death of her.
"W-What?"
Menma looked at her with those innocent eyes and raised his hand, pointing at the direction of their front door.
Hinata's legs shook as she climbed the last few steps and reached the spot where her son was. She turned her head to where Menma's finger was pointing, and there, sitting in front of her doorstep, she found him.
He seemed to be sleeping, with his back pressed firmly against the door, his head hanging low, one arm resting on a bent knee. His hair appeared to be a brighter shade of yellow under the light of the incandescent bulb, and though still messy, she noticed that it was now shorter.
Hinata took a few short steps, just enough to make sure she wasn't dreaming- that it wasn't just her heart playing tricks.
"Mom, it's dad." Menma softly said to her, his small finger still pointing to his direction.
It took her a while before she could take it all in, but those three words were all she needed to confirm that what she was seeing was real.
Hinata and Menma stepped closer. It seemed that he still hadn't noticed them, until she softly whispered his name.
"Naruto-kun..."
He turned his head to the sound of that familiar sweet voice. His hand that was about to reach for his hair stopped midway as he saw them standing at the hallway, just a few feet away from him. His eyes first fell on his son, who came running towards him, shouting.
"Dad!"
"Hey there, Menma-kun! Come here." Naruto opened his arms wide, letting his little body crash into his as he hugged the boy tightly, kissing his cheeks. "Oh, I missed you."
"I missed you, too, dad!"
"I told you I'd be back soon." He smiled, seeing his son did the same.
Carrying Menma in his arms, Naruto stood up from the floor. And that was when he finally, hesitantly, faced her. His eyes met those pure white ones once again, and guilt gripped his heart, for amidst the hurt and disbelief, her eyes held that same look of unconditional love that stood out the most. He walked up to her, but the more he got closer, the more he couldn't seem to return her gaze.
"H-Hinata.. I'm.." He stalled, suddenly feeling unable to speak.
"What happened to your face?" She cut him off, asking worriedly while gently running her fingers on the scrape on his cheek.
"Daddy, you have a boo-boo." Menma pointed out.
"Oh... You mean this? This is nothing." Naruto continued. "L-Listen, Hinata-"
"You should at least cover it with a Band-Aid. It looks pretty deep."
"I-I have something to tell you-"
"Sweetheart, would you please get the first-aid kit for me? Mom's going to fix daddy's face." She smiled sweetly to her son, who disappeared into the kitchen as soon as she opened the door, leaving the two of them behind.
"Hinata.. C-Can we talk?" Naruto grabbed her arm right before she could enter the room. He could see what she was trying to do, but avoiding him would not do them any good. He had things to tell her. He had to tell her that, first, he was sorry- for leaving that night without saying goodbye, for unintentionally or even deliberately hurting her, and that no matter what happened, he wanted her to know that he truly cared for her- those things...and something else. But even before he could start to speak again, slender arms found their way around his neck, and he suddenly felt his shirt soaking wet. It didn't take long for him to realize that she was crying.
"I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry." He said sadly, tears rolling down his cheek as he closed his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her small waist, filling his head with enough memory of her scent.
"Shh... Don't say anything else." She managed to say in between tears. "J-Just let me hold you like this."
Oooxxxooo
"Woooowww! Mom, mom! Look!" Menma exclaimed as he opened the rectangular box that Naruto brought him as a surprise.
"What is it, sweetheart?" Hinata forced a smile.
"It's a... red truck!"
"Wow, that's nice, Menma-kun."
"Can I play with it, huh, mom? Dad?"
"Sure.. But aren't you forgetting something?" She asked, the smile still plastered perfectly on her face.
Naruto looked at his son, furrowing his brow as he watched the boy think for a moment. He was surprised when Menma ran up to him, gave him another hug, and kissed his right eye, missing his cheek. "Thanks, dad!"
"Y-You're welcome, honey."
"A-Alright, sweetheart. Why don't you play inside your room, while Mom and dad have something to talk about."
"Okay!"
Hinata felt tired keeping up that smile, that strong facade that would slowly disappear whenever her son wasn't looking. Sadness returned in her eyes the instant she and Naruto were left alone, sitting in heavy silence at the dining table.
She realized the reason he was there, the moment their eyes met at the hallway, with the way that he avoided her gaze. She knew he was not there just to say he was sorry. Hinata kept her eyes down, staring at her cold hands when Naruto started to speak.
"Sakura and I cancelled the trip." Naruto felt his palms sweat as the words escaped his lips. "I-I already told her about you and Menma-kun... and we both agreed that going on a vacation right now was pretty much a bad idea. She might end up throwing me out of the plane or killing me in the middle of the trip." He said, being his best attempt at levity as he tried to make her smile. Naruto sighed when she didn't. There was really no easy way of telling the truth, he thought. "This is really hard for me to say, Hinata, especially when you're looking at me like that."
"I-I'm okay, Naruto-kun. Just say what you have to say."
Naruto rubbed his face with his hands, thinking carefully the words to say. "W-We... We didn't break up." He started, studying her face for a moment before speaking again. "The two of us decided to try to work things out."
"I-I see. Isn't that good? I-I'm... happy for you. Sakura-san... she must have really loved you more than you think." She lifted her gaze to him. There was something with the way that he paused, closed his lips tightly and looked away. She saw in his eyes that look she had seen before... and that silence... She frowned, asking him, "I-Is there something wrong?"
"Huh? No.. No.." He shook his head, and stared at her one more time. "I'm really sorry. Please tell me if I'm being an asshole for telling all these things to you. If this is all making you uncomfortable..."
"N-No, it's alright. I don't mind. It's not like I'm not expecting these things to happen, Naruto-kun."
Naruto sighed again. "Okay. I-I just thought that you should know... So that you won't be surprised if I suddenly stopped coming by that often."
A short pause, and Hinata briefly responded. "I see."
"Sakura was really hurt when she found out about you. I told her I'm still seeing you, though it's just because of Menma-kun. But still, she wasn't happy about it. We're having a lot of issues right now. S-She asked me to stop seeing you."
For a moment, Hinata could not speak, her throat suddenly feeling painfully dry and her lips trembling. It felt like she couldn't breathe at all as her chest tightened. "A-And how about Menma-kun? Y-You promised. You promised to be there for him. Your son needs you. Menma loves you." She felt exhausted and out of breath just by saying the words. "Are you also just going to leave him like that?"
Naruto noticed how her face turned white, and a sense of panic washed over him. "Hinata.. Hey, Hinata.. A-Are you alright?" He quickly stood up from his chair and went to her on the other side of the table. Naruto reached for her hands and was surprised at how cold they felt against his. "Oh, shit.. Are you alright? Tell me-"
"S-Stop it, Naruto-kun."
"One sec. I'll just get you some water. Just calm down."
"H-How can I, Naruto-kun? Tell me... please." She brushed his hands off and started crying. "I love you. I really love you, Naruto-kun. All this time... I've always listened to you... supported you. But don't you think this is too much? I don't think I can do this anymore. Am I really that disposable to you?"
Her words bored through his chest like a knife, and Naruto could not do anything but stare back at those eyes that were shedding uncontrollable tears, begging for answers. He reached for her hands and kissed them repeatedly. "N-No. No. Of course not. Absolutely not. It might not look like it right now, but Hinata, you really mean so much to me. I-I'm so sorry if I always end up hurting you. I'm very sorry if all I ever did was ruin your life. Please believe me. I really care about you... more than you think. Everything I said, everything I did, they weren't just because you're Menma-kun's mom. To me, you're more than that. It's just that... things are so fucking crazy right now. I don't even know what to do."
"Then stay with me." It was a very soft whisper, as if Hinata was uttering the words to herself.
"W-What?"
"N-Nothing." She said, looking away from his gaze. How could she be stupidly asking him a question she knew his answer to. But all her musings were forgotten in an instant when she felt his lips softly touched her cheek.
"Thank you." Naruto whispered in her ear as he sat down on the table and put his arms around her. "Thank you, Hinata. Knowing that you love me this much really makes me happy. You have no idea... you have no idea how happy you're making me right now. But..." He swallowed hard as he slowly let go. "I'm sorry. I can't."
Unconsciously, Hinata clutched her chest at the feeling of her heart crushing into pieces, and she continued to be silent, her eyes gazing down at her knuckle that almost turned white from tightly gripping the hem of her skirt.
"I-I'm keeping my promise about Menma. I love him so much. He means everything to me, and I don't think I can ever live without him. But with the situation right now, I can't spend time with Menma here, in your place like I used to. I-I can't stay h-here... anymore..." Naruto's voice sounded more pained than he ought it to be, perhaps because it was really what he was feeling. He had thought about it. Sakura had wanted it. It was the right thing to do if they wanted to work on their relationship. But still, saying goodbye to this woman, whom he had grown to care for so much... It was an indescribable pain, but more of like his heart was being ripped off his chest. "I'm really sorry, Hinata."
"I don't like where this is going, Naruto-kun." Hinata let out a deep sigh and tried to calm herself down, yet tears still threatened to fall.
"I really hope you understand. I need my son."
"You promised me, Naruto-kun. You promised you're not going to take him away from me."
"Just the weekends, Hinata. That's all I'm asking."
"I don't want this."
"Menma is my son. I have the right-" Naruto stopped himself, knowing they weren't the right words to say. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know this is hard for you, but please, think about it."
"I-I think you should go, Naruto-kun."
Naruto let out a deep sigh, as he got off the table and reached for his coat behind the door. "You have my number. Please call me when you're ready to talk."
His hand was about to turn the doorknob when he heard the chair move, and he felt a soft tug at his coat. Turning around, he saw Menma, and his son was looking at him anxiously, noticing that Naruto was about to leave.
"Dad? Where are you going?"
"Menma-kun... please go back to your room." Hinata stood up from the chair but was too late to stop him from running.
"Where are you going, dad?" The little boy asked again.
"I have to go, sweetheart." He stooped down and gently patted Menma's head.
"But you just got here."
"Daddy has to go somewhere. I'll see you again, I promise."
"When? Can't you just stay?"
Naruto felt his mouth open but couldn't say a word. It already hurt hearing it from Hinata the first time, but to hear the same plead coming from his son's lips just heightened the amount of pain ten-folds. He couldn't answer him. He didn't want to see that disappointed look on his face, just as he avoided looking at Hinata's when he answered he couldn't.
"H-He will pick you up this Friday, sweetie."
Naruto lifted his gaze and saw Hinata wearing that same well-rehearsed smile, and she was walking toward them, looking at him like nothing happened. He only stared dumbfounded at her as she continued to speak. The upward curve of her lips was perfect on that beautiful face.
"Mom has to work at night during the weekends, remember? So you'll be staying at dad's place. Didn't you say you'd like to have ice cream with him? He told me he'll take you... this Friday."
"Really? Really?!" Menma asked, his voice now a pitch higher and face bright in excitement, and Naruto had to laugh when his son started to jump continuously.
"Y-Yeah, of course. We can go anywhere you like, Menma-kun." He answered.
"Can we go to the mall?"
"Yes."
"The toy store?"
"Yes."
"Even at Uncle Kiba's place?"
"Er, I'll think about it... but yes."
"Yay! I love you dad!" Menma exploded, giving Naruto one tight hug, before running back to his room so he could play again with his new toy car. They both smiled hearing him shout the word 'ice cream' again and again, while jumping up and down the bed.
"Menma-kun can't sleep with lights on."
Naruto looked at Hinata, and he was dumbstruck once again.
"A-And he doesn't like it but I make him drink a glass of milk before he sleeps. He's a naughty kid and gets easily bored sometimes. I'll make sure that he'll bring some of his favourite toys with him. Don't let him watch too much TV, and please make sure that he eats well. I'll give you a list of things he's not allowed to eat. You know that he has G6PD, right? Well, Sakura-san is a doctor, she knows-"
There was so much more to say: Menma could be a real handful when he's hungry, sleepy, or had eaten too much sweets. He was a curious kid and could get lost visiting neighbours on his own. His favourite ice cream flavour was, of course, chocolate, and he needed a bit of convincing when eating his vegetables.
Those were only a few of the things that Hinata wanted to tell him. In fact, she already made a mental note of all important reminders, but Naruto didn't give her the time to speak when he suddenly grabbed her and kissed her softly on the lips. His strong arms were squeezing her so tight that he could feel her heart like it was his.
"Thank you. Thank you so much." Naruto whispered against her hair after their lips parted. "You don't know how much this means to me."
Hinata had to pause for a moment to actually process what had happened. If she had not been hurting inside, she would've blushed furiously, thinking it was their first kiss after five years. "I-I'm only doing this for Menma-kun. My son loves you, and I don't want to see him get hurt. You can hurt me, but not him. Not our son. P-Promise me that you'll take care of him. That's the only thing I ask."
"You don't need to ask. I promise I'll take good care of him." He felt her ease in his arms. There was a smile in her voice when she returned his embrace and said the words 'thank you'. His heart that was once so heavy with all the things that had happened suddenly felt light, and it was all because of her. This woman loved him, and that love, once again, saved him.
'How could I hurt someone who had only loved me so much?' The simple question was all it took for sorrow to grip his heart again.
He could not let himself hurt her anymore.
"H-Hinata.."
"Yes?" Her smile left her face when he pulled away. The eyes that were looking back at her held the same emotion he had just moments ago.
Maybe this time, he truly meant it.
"I think... you should forget about me."
Oooxxxooo
Naruto could count with his fingers the number of times that he had seen Lee's wife, Naomi, but he could tell, the minute she opened the door and welcomed them at the Sip-and-See party, that motherhood made her even more beautiful. It was clear to see that she was glowing, showing off that lovely smile that went from ear to ear as she greeted everyone, while carrying the little fellow that was undeniably Lee's.
"Look at those eyebrows." Sakura mumbled to him.
"Yeah. Genetics." He answered. "Are you sure you're okay with this? We can go home early if you want." Naruto watched Sakura carefully as he whispered in her ear and noticed a frown slowly forming on her lips, probably because of the way he furtively asked her the question.
"Of course, I am. This is just a simple party, Naruto. Don't worry about me."
"You're right. I'm sorry." He said, giving her hand a light squeeze.
"I'll join the girls, okay?"
"Okay."
Naruto found his way to the side of the house where the males were mostly gathered and champagne and beer were more free-flowing. There he found his friends, had his first bottle of beer and joined in their conversation about sports, yet, he sometimes found himself spacing out, eyes unconsciously searching for his fiancée, observing her from afar.
It wasn't difficult to spot her, with that unique pink hair that stood out amongst the crowd. She was sitting beside Naomi, sipping on her champagne glass so casually, laughing and sharing stories with the other ladies, some of them she just knew.
It was one of the things that made him fall for her- she was charming, and she really had a way with people. She could give life to a party the moment she entered the door, and with the way that she gave away her smiles, no one would have guessed what she could be hiding deep inside.
"You look really creepy staring at Sakura-chan like that."
Naruto turned his head and found the only person he knew who could sound so lazy the way that the voice did. He smiled, seeing Shikamaru sat beside him. "Hey there."
"Stop glaring at her. She's not going anywhere." Shikamaru joked.
"I'm not glaring. I'm just... watching her. Where's Lee?"
"Busy." Shikamaru answered, as he slouched back in the chair. "So, how's the trip?"
Naruto looked at Shikamaru at the corner of his eyes. "You know there's nothing to tell. It didn't happen."
"Right. I just want to actually hear it from you." The pineapple head smirked at him. "So, you finally told her. It's a surprise you two are still together. I really thought she would either leave you, kick you out, or murder you. In fact, I'm a bit surprised to actually see you alive. Congratulations."
"Shut up." Naruto said, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "Well, that's what I thought, too. She was really hurt. I could tell, Sakura-chan was more than... devastated." Naruto flinched when the woman he was looking at suddenly snapped her head back to him and gave a hesitant smile before looking away.
Shikamaru was quietly watching the exchange of glances, and he eyed Naruto curiously. "How's it going, then...between you two?"
"We're fine." He sighed. "We're still trying to work things out."
"I see. Looks like a lot of work to me. Well at least that's one less thing to worry about. You just have to focus now on winning her back." Shikamaru's knowing eyes continued to silently study him as he gulped down his beer. "Did you speak with Hinata about it?" He knew then, when Naruto's gaze left Sakura to completely focus on him, that the confrontation with the black haired woman wasn't all plain sailing.
Naruto shifted on his chair and ran a hand through his hair. "Yes. It won't be fair to hide things like this from her. She had to know why I won't be seeing her that much anymore. A-And... it made it a bit easier for me to ask her for my son to spend weekends with me."
Shikamaru raised his eyebrows in surprise. "So it already came to that point, huh?"
"Yeah. But it's not as ugly as you think it is. It's just an agreement... that I'll get to have Menma-kun over the weekends- simple as that. We don't need to take this to court or anything." Naruto sighed. "I want to be a father to my son, but I also want Hinata to know that I'm actually considering how she feels about this whole co-parenting thing. I'm not the one who brought up our son alone for five whole years. She did. As much as I want to see him everyday, for now, an overnight stay is enough for me, until Hinata's pretty comfortable about it."
"How about Sakura-chan? Don't you think it's too soon for her to meet him?"
"S-She said she's okay with it. I had talked to her about it before I went to see Hinata again. I'm going to do what she wants, but she has to understand that someone else, I mean my son, needs me."
"Wow, sounds really troublesome. I just hope Temari and I won't end up like that." Shikamaru shook his head, smiling.
"Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, asshole."
"I'm just kidding." Shikamaru burst out laughing. "You know, whenever you talk about Hinata and Menma-kun, I always get this feeling that I'm talking to an entirely different person. I don't know if it's something good or bad, but this whole thing actually changed you."
Naruto stifled a laugh. "Really? I haven't really noticed it. I just think that I can't mess up anymore than I did. I have to do the right thing."
"The right thing, huh..? Then how do you know that staying with Sakura-chan was the right thing?"
"What?" Naruto stared at him wide-eyed.
"Nah, never mind." Shikamaru shook his head and closed his eyes, thinking that he might just be over-analyzing things when he caught those weird glances between Naruto and his fiancée some minutes ago. "So, are you really okay not seeing her again? I mean, Hinata." He asked trying to divert the topic.
"I-I'll still see her, whenever I'm going to pick up Menma-kun, but of course, it won't be like before. I wish for things to stay the same, but I don't want to hurt her anymore."
Shikamaru frowned. "I don't know what happened between you two, but I can see that you really care about this girl so much."
"She told me she loves me." Naruto wryly smiled.
"Oh."
"And I do care about her. That's why she has to forget about me. She deserves to be really, really happy. You have no idea how much I've damaged her, man. I won't forgive myself if I ever hurt her that way again." Naruto added, as he rubbed his tired eyes with his hands. "But for me to feel hurt like this, I guess you were right when you said I was attracted to her."
"You really should've just left Sakura-chan." Shikamaru mumbled.
"What's that?"
"I said you're an idiot." He smirked. "Well, I guess you can't do anything about it now since you already made your choice. I just hope everything goes well for you. Especially with Sakura-chan. Earning someone's trust is hard, Naruto. No matter how much someone says sorry, once you found out she or he lied to you, you cannot look at that person the same way again."
Naruto clenched his jaw, looking at the man sitting beside him. His eyes then shifted to the only pink-haired woman across the room. "I know, Shikamaru. I know."
Oooxxxooo
"T-There was no conference, Naruto."
He remembered her saying to him, when he was about to leave their room the night he confessed about sleeping with another woman.
There hadn't been a fight. It was more of Sakura crying her heart out, and, at times, shouting, cursing at him, but Naruto remained quiet as he took in all her anger, and only spoke when she asked him questions. He remembered wrapping his arms around her waist as he said his words of apology, but she only hit him hard in the face, cutting his cheek accidentally by the stone on her inward-turned engagement ring. The slap and the scraped skin on his cheek sure did hurt him, but what hurt the most was the great amount of pain that reflected in those emerald green eyes by the time he had told her about Menma.
'I want to be alone right now,' she said to him when she calmed down and hushed a bit, so he made his way to the door, after telling her how much he had wanted to work things out. He was half-way out when she called his name. He turned, blue eyes meeting green ones, and that's when he finally saw it- that expression on her face that was way different from the one she had a while ago. Her cries must have gotten him confused that he didn't immediately saw it. But he knew that expression well. He had seen it a few many times, the last one was when she held those beautiful red roses in her hands after he picked her up from a trip she forgot to tell him about. It's the face she made when something was eating her inside. It was guilt.
"Wait.."
"I-I told you, Sakura-chan. It wasn't your fault."
"It's not that.. I-I also have something to tell you."
.
Remembering the things she had told him still brought him that same worst feeling he had felt several nights before. And now, even after a number of days had passed, his chest would still feel tight, breathing would become hard, and chills would still run down his spine, like she had only whispered the words seconds ago.
He watched her cry on the soft bed at Lee's guest room, and the exact nauseous feeling returned.
It was actually him who cancelled the trip, because just like her, he was also angry.
'How could she do this?' He never thought he would ask himself the question. If it wasn't him, would she have kept it? She said she did it because she wasn't ready, but with the way she looked into his eyes, something told him that maybe she thought he just wasn't really worth it.
Up until now, Naruto still couldn't believe that Sakura didn't tell she had been pregnant... and that she had chosen not to keep it.
It was like a slap in the face, more painful than having a diamond scrape a layer off his skin. They could've had a family and start this relationship anew, but she decided to keep it a secret from him, when all he ever thought about was telling her the truth.
But he couldn't keep being angry. It was her body, not his. It was her decision, not his, though he wished she could've at least told him about it. He couldn't leave her, being an emotional wreck that she was right now, feeling guilty about the thing she did. They said it was a Post-Abortion Stress something. So, he acted like he understood everything, and asked her to try working things out one more time.
Naruto sat down on the edge of the bed, listening as Sakura sobbed painfully. He let out a deep sigh and started stroking her back and trying to calm her down.
"I-It's okay." He whispered.
"I-I didn't know what to do. Naomi handed me the baby, a-and I just didn't know what the hell to do." Sakura said, crying, as she recalled a small incident at the party that made her break down. She was having this wonderful conversation with the girls, sitting beside Lee's wife, with a champagne glass in her hand, when Naomi accidentally knocked over her own glass and spilled the liquid contents on her dress. The host of the party stood up to clean up after herself, right after she made an honest mistake of handing Sakura the baby. And Naruto witnessed everything from a distance, from how Sakura awkwardly held the clump of white sheets in her arms, to the way her eyes went wide when it dawned on her that what she was actually holding was something she should've had seven months from now. It was when Sakura turned her gaze and saw that he was watching that she began to panic and suddenly burst into tears.
"I-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Sakura cried.
"Shh... Just rest for now, alright? I'll get you something to drink." He said as he wiped her tears dry. He felt a tug on his hand right before he was about to get up and leave.
"N-No. Just stay here with me. P-Please."
Naruto felt a lump form in his throat, and he held her gaze for a few seconds before discreetly looking away. He loved her, and he would stay. He let himself hear her stifled sobs as he sat back down the bed. Facing the other way, he just couldn't look at those eyes the same way again.