A/N: ...
Well, actually, I don't know what to say, but I would like to start by apologizing to you guys. I'm so sorry if this took a while. Instead of just making changes on the original 7b, I ended up making an entirely new chapter, which was a bit hard to finish, to be honest. Again, I'm sorry.
Second, I would like to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. You guys are so amazing. I love the things I'm reading and learning from you. And to those who added this story to the favorites and follows. Thank you so much!
Reading all the reviews last time gave me a different kind of experience. I've never felt so anxious reading your comments before! It was a mixture of emotions, actually. I was so happy that most of you loved the story, but at the same time, I felt bad that almost everyone ended up hating Naruto. Please don't get me wrong- I love love love him. If this looked like it's turning out to be a bash-fic, I swear that wasn't my intention at all. I decided to do the changes for the reason that I think I wasn't clear enough with how I wanted to portray Naruto.
I didn't do this chapter to persuade you guys to like the Naruto I made in my story. This is just, maybe, to explain what happened, or why Naruto acted the way he did on 7a. After you read this and you still hate him, it's okay; you end up liking him, it's okay. Not trying to force you my dears. Just something to make you understand this AU Naruto better.
And sorry if the recent chapters have been angsty. Good things come to those who wait, they say. So please be more patient. Good stuff will come soon.
I want to give my greatest thanks to Senrab Nomis, who even went out of his way just to help me and give me an idea on how to do this chapter. (Thanks for answering even the silliest of my questions.) It's all thanks to him that I was able to come up with this chapter's story. If he would accept, I would like to dedicate this chapter to him.
That is actually my Oscar Award speech. Just kidding. But thanks again, Senrab. I really, really appreciate it.
...And that's it. On with the story. I really hope you guys like it. Thank you so much again for reading!
Chapter 7b.
.
Looking at her son, Hinata knew that she had not always been a perfect mom.
She remembered when Menma was six months old, she accidentally fed him too much, that he started vomiting, causing her to panic and rush him to the emergency room. She used to fall asleep and forget to turn Menma's head in the middle of the night, making the back of his head flat, and more than once, she might have cut his nails too short that they almost bled. Not all of Menma's meals contained vegetables- she could not always trick him to eat them- and his breakfasts were sometimes cereals, sometimes, peanut butter on a spoon. Menma's first word was 'Tenten', not 'ma-ma', and despite his knowledge of the alphabet, Menma actually learned his ABCs and numbers, not because of Hinata, but of a certain violet dinosaur and his friends.
Hinata's son would soon turn six, which meant she would be celebrating six long years of motherhood in just a few months, yet she dreaded the fact that her motherly skills were still not anywhere near perfect. She still could not make Menma finish his broccoli; she would sometimes fall asleep right in the middle of reading her son's bedtime story; and there were also times when she couldn't get to read them anymore because she got home so late, Menma already fell asleep. There were a lot of times she messed up and so many things she wished she could do over; so many times she had shed tears, been sleepless, and felt tired. She had done things she regretted, and had regretted things she didn't do. As a mother, she knew she's nowhere near perfect, but perfect or not, Hinata loved her son with all her heart, and she promised to do everything to make Menma the happiest kid in the world.
But, feeling her son's cold little fingers against her hands, Hinata couldn't help but feel like she failed to keep that promise once again.
It could have been funny, how Menma lay quietly on the bed, sleeping on his stomach with his butt sticking up in the air, and if the situation had been different, Hinata would certainly grab her phone and take a picture. Menma rarely slept that way. It was either he fell asleep with an upset stomach, or he fell asleep just plain upset.
Making her son wait in the freezing hallway for hours, Hinata knew it could be the latter.
She gently blew warm breaths on his hand and placed soft kisses on each fingers.
"I'm so sorry, honey. Mom is really sorry." She whispered in his ear, brushing her lips on the side of his head. Hinata carefully pulled the covers up over Menma's shoulders to keep him warmer, and, sitting on the floor near the bed, she rested her head on the mattress, watching her son's chest rise and fall as he breathed.
Hinata sighed, red eyes swollen from a previous cry settling on Menma's peaceful face. She studied his features, from the thick strands of his black unruly hair, to the form of his nose, to the shape of his lips.
"You really are growing up looking so much like your dad." She uttered under her breath as her fingers gently caressed his soft cheek. "I'm really sorry that things have to end up like this, Menma-kun. If I could, I would definitely do things over and make it all perfect just for you. I won't do anything to hurt you, baby. Mommy loves you so much."
She carefully brushed a few strands of hair away from his eyes and placed a chaste kiss at the top of his head, one hand stroking along his back, her mobile phone resting on the other.
Hinata wrapped her fingers around the gadget tightly, and letting out a sigh, clutched it closer to her face. She had never felt so anxious looking at her phone before. Her heart raced at the presence of that red circle containing the number of times Naruto had tried to call her, yet she failed to answer; the number of times he had sent her a text message but she never saw until now.
The numbers just simply overwhelmed her.
Fifteen text messages. Twenty-one missed calls. Eleven voice messages.
She felt her breath hitched on her throat seeing the alerts on her phone. Those red badges appeared to her like death hexes, that if opened, she would be doomed for life. One finger hovered over the screen but stopped without touching anything.
'What's the point of actually reading them? Would it even make a difference?' She thought for a moment before placing her phone back inside her pocket.
There's no need to read Naruto's painful words nor the insults he probably left on her voicemail. She already heard so much from him earlier that evening, and she didn't want to hear him talk like that to her again.
Closing her eyes, Hinata fought hard to keep the bad memories from coming back.
oooxxxooo
Hinata didn't realize she had been sleeping until the sudden shift on the bed followed by the footsteps sprinting towards the living room woke her up from the slumber. Raising her head up, she gazed onto the bed, and her sleepy eyes suddenly went wide when she found it empty. The faint sound of Menma's sobs made Hinata sprung up from the floor, and she immediately dashed to where the sound of his footsteps disappeared.
Hinata turned toward the living room and found her son staring at the door, his shoulders heaving as tears started to flow down his face.
"D-Dad? Dad!" Menma shouted, gripping the doorknob with his small hands, trying to pull the door open with the little strength he had. "D-Dad!"
Her heart throbbed with pain, watching her son call out for his father once more, his voice becoming a bit hoarse from crying and yelling at the same time. She approached him cautiously, hesitantly placing a hand on his trembling shoulders. "M-Menma-kun, sweetheart..."
"W-Where's dad?" He forced the words out in between hiccups.
Biting her lip, Hinata slowly dropped to her knees, her white eyes gazing at Menma's damped blue ones. "Daddy's not here anymore, Menma-kun. H-He already left."
He cried louder this time. "Why? Where did he go? Is he going back?"
"Well, he-" She stalled, studying Menma's distraught expression as her fingers gently ran across his cheeks. "H-He had to leave, honey."
"B-But why? He promised... He promised me that he would stay 'til you get home."
"Sweetie..."
"He said he wouldn't leave, and that we'd celebrate your birthday together." Menma continued to cry, tears flowing generously from his eyes. "Daddy promised me he would stay, mom. He promised we'd wait together-"
"He did, baby. He did." Hinata answered back, the pain in her chest quickly growing, and her eyes burn trying to fight back her tears. She wrapped her arms around Menma's body and kissed him softly on the forehead. "He just had to leave and couldn't tell you because you were sleeping. Daddy stayed, honey. He did... wait for me. He waited for me..." She said, her voice trailing off on the last words.
She held the boy tighter, as Menma painfully sobbed in her ears. White eyes gazed around the room, falling on the balloons that she thoughtfully picked up after Naruto left them lying in the hallway. She taped them on the walls, thinking that Menma would be glad to see them once he woke up. She kept the flowers, too- the lovely basket of red and white roses that were lying quietly on the table, adding color to the gloom of her kitchen. But even so, her small apartment had never felt gloomier, nor emptier, with just Menma's soft cries resounding in the room.
"W-Why did he have to go?"
"T-That's... I-It's because-"
At the sight of her son's tears, Hinata was speechless. Her lips just couldn't utter the reason why Naruto left. She could not tell him about the fight, and the one who made his father leave was none other than her. Her son might not understand, and the thought scared her.
'He will hate me.' Grim thoughts clouded her mind. Hinata swallowed hard but the back of her throat felt dry. The tears she fought hard to hold back finally rolled down her cheeks, as she hugged Menma closer. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, honey." She said, with a voice barely above a whisper.
oooxxxooo
Menma was quiet, as he sat in front of his mother at the kitchen. He had already stopped crying and was at the moment enjoying a cup of hot ramen, but he kept silent, occasionally throwing his mother hesitant glances as he blew the steam coming out of his cup.
"Is this... what your father usually feed you?" Hinata asked, breaking the silence. She bit her lower lip, seeing Menma only shook his head in response.
"I-I see. I thought you guys eat this a lot."
"Not really."
"Oh. Okay." Hinata just narrowed her eyes, watching as her son heartily gulped down the curry-flavored instant ramen that he requested right after he ceased crying. It had been an hour, but Menma's eyes were still noticeably swollen, and his voice remained sounding raspy. Not only that he had waken up on the wrong side of the bed, he also appeared to get up hungry, too, asking for a steaming cup of hot ramen after the long period of cry had exhausted him out.
"This one's curry. Dad usually buys the black and red one with a cow's picture on it."
"Is that so? I-I thought they all taste the same." Hinata studied her son's impassive face and sighed. "Are you mad at me, sweetie? I'm really sorry."
Menma looked at her curiously. "Huh? I'm not mad. Curry tastes okay, too."
"I'm not talking about ramen, Menma-kun. I mean- Never mind." Letting out a deep breath, Hinata just smiled and gently wiped Menma's lips with her hand. "Did your father get the recipe I slipped in your notebook?"
"I dunno."
"Oh? So he hasn't make spaghetti for you, yet?"
The little boy thought for a moment. "He did ask Sakura-chan to cook one the other day... but it wasn't good." He continued in a shy whisper which made Hinata giggle.
"You shouldn't say that, honey. That's not nice."
"I think dad thinks the same thing. He said your spaghetti is the best."
"He said that?"
"Yeah. You should come with us next time, mom. They really have a huge kitchen there."
Hinata's lips pulled into a smile. "I'm just going to make your dad another recipe. Make sure to let him know, okay?" She tilted her head as the little boy's lips turned into a pout. "What's wrong, honey?"
"Mom," he sadly looked at his mother, "why aren't you and dad talking?"
Her hand stopped fiddling with her chopsticks, and she looked at Menma who innocently stared back. "W-What?"
"I said, why aren't you and dad talking?"
"W-Well, that's..."
"And why aren't we celebrating your birthday at daddy's house? You said birthdays are important, right? So why is he not here?" He innocently asked. "Why do we live in a different house? Don't you want to live with him? It kinda sucks to have two houses sometimes, mom. I can only see my dad during Saturdays and Sundays, and when I'm staying with him, I can't get to see you. Why can't we all just live in one house?" Pouting his lips, Menma continued, his chin resting on his palms. "It will be more fun! And dad's house is huge! Haruno-sensei is there most of the time. I think she lives there. Why is she living there? Is dad sick?"
More 'why's' escaped the little boys lips, his questions coming out one after another. It could be that the ramen was too hot or Menma's questions were too hard to answer, but Hinata sensed that she was, literally and figuratively, starting to break out in a cold sweat.
"Mom, why aren't we all living together? Did you guys have a fight?"
"Sweetie..." Hinata bit her lip, unsure of how to answer Menma's questions. "T-There are things that a kid like you might not be able to understand."
"Like what?" Menma frowned.
"L-Like... Umm... You see, Menma-kun, Sakura-san is... Or I mean, y-your dad and I are... W-We aren't really... like... t-together."
"I know that." He replied briefly, causing Hinata's eyes to grow wide.
She brushed her fingers across her fringe and looked at the boy closely. "Y-You do?"
"Yeah! You live here, and he lives there. Isn't that why you're not together?"
"That's right, honey, but what mom meant was-"
"That's why I told dad that we should move there and live with him at his huge house so the three of us can be together! Don't you think so, mom?"
A sad smile spread across Hinata's face after letting out a deep sigh. She, then, reached for her son's face and gently cupped his cheek. "You'll understand things better soon, Menma-kun."
"What kind of things?"
"Lots of things." She answered, giggling at her son's curiosity. Setting her cup noodles aside, her hands reached for a round box and pulled the cover off, revealing a layer of cake the same shape as its box and covered with thick brown chocolate icing. "Hey, let's cut the cake you bought me. It looks really great. Thank you, honey." She said, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "And I'm really sorry if I ruined your surprise."
"Yeah..." Menma's eyes saddened as he pouted. "Where did you go? Dad was worried."
Hinata quirked her eyebrows. "Worried?"
"Yeah! We called you many times, but you never answered."
She bit her lip. "I'm sorry, honey. Uncle Kiba and I went out for dinner, and I forgot to bring my phone. But I swear; if I had known that your dad would drop you off today, I really would have gone home sooner. I really had no idea." Hinata explained, as she put a slice of cake on Menma's plate.
"Yeaaah... Of course you don't. It was a secret. And you can't tell secrets to anyone even if it's mom or dad." He said proudly, as he grinned. "I didn't even tell him about it until we're done with dinner."
"What?!" Hinata cried out suddenly.
Menma licked the chocolate off his fork and stared back at her. "Dad said you're not supposed to tell secrets to anyone, that's why I didn't tell him right away."
"So he never knew anything about it?"
"Nope. I only told him about your birthday because I wanted him to buy balloons. You should have seen his face when I told him in the car, mom. It was funny!" His laugh slowly died down, and his blue eyes lingered on the perplexed expression on his mother's face. "Are you mad? I just wanted to surprise you."
"W-What? Of course not, sweetheart. It's just that, earlier, I think I've..." She paused, anxiously biting her lips as her gaze traveled from the balloons hanging around her kitchen wall, to the slice of cake on her plate, to the basket of flowers resting on the table, dredging up memories of how each piece was once sprawled outside her apartment door. She couldn't help but recall how her breath hitched the moment she caught sight of Naruto's bright yellow hair, and the way her heart sank when she saw the look of contempt on his face. She remembered his words that stung, the mockery in his voice, and the blood that trickled down his cheek when Kiba punched him. She ignored the pain she saw in his eyes, thinking he deserved it, but hearing now Menma's words made her start thinking that maybe, there was a side of the story she needed to find out. "I think I did something really, really wrong." With her white eyes downcast, Hinata uttered mostly to herself. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Are you alright, mom? Don't worry, I forgive you."
She smiled at the little boy, kissing him again. "T-Thank you. And thank you for the wonderful surprise, sweetheart. It's really sweet. The flowers look beautiful, too."
Menma smiled widely. "Dad bought it for you. I only asked for the cake and balloons."
"I-I see." One hand moved to clutch the fabric close to her chest, feeling her heart tighten, a pang of guilt slowly creeping down the pit of her stomach.
Oooxxxooo
Hinata sat alone in a deep silence, as soon as Menma went back to sleep. Her back straightened as she sat stiff on a chair. She found herself once again, face-to-face with her cell phone's home screen, and no matter what she did, the numbers still overwhelmed her.
She had read all fifteen text messages, more than half of which were from Naruto, asking her where she was in all sorts of emotion possible. It ranged from sincere curiosity to one that's obviously furious, considering the number of exclamation marks used. Most of the missed calls were also from the same blonde guy, and the more Hinata scrolled down her phone, the more she felt anxious, fearing about the things she was left to hear.
There was a small number '11' inside the red badge next to her phone's voicemail icon, indicating the number of voice messages she received that day. She stared at it intently, as she contemplated whether tapping on the icon would considerably be a good idea or not. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, one cold fingertip touching the lower side of the screen. She held her breath as the phone's visual voicemail popped up and occupied the screen.
And thankfully, not all voicemails were from Naruto. At least, not the three most recent ones.
Pressing the play button, Hinata stood up from the table and headed to the sink where the dirty dishes were waiting.
She turned the faucet on and smiled, hearing Hanabi's voice from the recording, joyfully greeting her a happy birthday and telling her not to sleep until she comes home, because Hanabi, again, had forgotten her keys.
Hinata continued to scrub the plates clean, her attention mostly focused on the deep male voice, greeting her rather unenthusiastically and too formally, and his choice of words made Hinata's smile grew wider.
Being brought up by a strict father, her cousin Neji had always been so formal and dead serious. She remembered stifling a laugh when Neji insisted to call a toilet, 'latrine', instead of just calling what it normally is- a toilet. It was still a wonder how a witty and free-spirited woman like Ten Ten happened to fall in love with him and eventually became his wife. The two of them were like the opposite sides of a pole, but surprisingly, they got along so well. She could still remember one time when-
["Hey, it's me again."]
The familiar sound of a man's voice broke her out of her thoughts. She must have spaced out for too long that she didn't notice that the third message had already ended, and the voicemail she's listening to right now was the first of the several ones that she didn't know if she was ready to hear. Just four words and she already felt uneasy. His voice sounded sad, sometimes pleading, and there were a few times she could feel him angry, but, despite it all, it was calm and forbearing. She quietly listened as her phone played Naruto's voice messages starting from his last and most recent call.
["We're still waiting for you. Please call back once you get my message."]
Hinata didn't realize she had been holding her breath until the first message ended. She wiped her hands dry, pressing on a key to listen to the second one.
["When do you plan to return my calls? Menma-kun already fell asleep... Are you even getting my messages? Please come back soon. This kid is so stubborn and refuses to go home. Bye."]
And the third.
["Hey Hinata, we've been waiting here for almost two hours, so... I guess it's just safe to say that you're really not home."]Naruto paused for a sigh. ["We'll just leave and come back tomorrow-"]
The hand holding the sponge stopped when Hinata heard Menma in the background. The little boy sounded upset, and, though faint, his pleading voice resounded in Hinata's head.
["No! Let's wait a bit more! You promised me we'll wait, didn't you? Come on, dad. Please? Just a little bit more. I know mom will be here soon. You said she'll be here soon, right? Come on. Please?"]
Hinata heard another deep sigh, but Naruto didn't speak anymore and just dropped the call. Hinata held a plate with two shaky hands and placed it carefully down on the sink. She felt her body slightly flinch as the next one played.
There was a hint of disappointment in his voice, but Naruto still sounded cheerful as he recorded his fourth message.
["Uh, hi. We're, uh, already right outside your house, and no one's answering. Did you go out? You're not working right now, right? Call me back once you hear this. We'll just probably wait here for a bit. Take care. Bye."]
The message ended with a short beep followed by another recording.
["Honey, be careful with the box! Oh, hey, it's me again, Hinata. I'm sorry for calling you too many times. I just want to make sure that you're home. But since you're not answering..."] Naruto had to pause, as Menma started to sing at the top of his lungs the Happy Birthday song. ["Oh my god. Menma-kun? Menma-kun. Please sit down and put your seatbelt back on. Please?"] He whispered.["W-Well, can you hear that? You probably know that I can't turn back now, right? I sure hope you're home right now, because I don't have a damn clue of what to do with this kid once he finds out you're not. Jesus, this kid needs a Pneu-Dart or something. I'm just kidding. That won't work on him... I'm still joking. We're almost at your place. Please call me back."]
Hinata turned around, facing the gadget on the table, as she tried to hold back a smile with Naruto's tranquilizer joke.
["Hi, Hinata. Please pretend you didn't hear anything about a cake or balloons, or whatever. Menma-kun wanted to surprise you today, so please act surprised even if you probably know about it. He's really excited about his little 'surprise idea'."] He laughed.[-And uh, I know you don't want to see me right now, and you probably hate me, but Menma-kun wants me to stay and celebrate with you two. S-So, if it's okay, can we, umm, pretend that we are getting along, even just for today? I promise I'll leave early, and if it would make you feel comfortable, I'd even stay three-feet away from you. I just don't want to see him disappointed. You get what I'm saying, right? Let's just give him what he wants tonight. And... Are you home? Please pick up when you're free. Bye.]
["H-Hey!"] The next recording started, followed by a long pause that Hinata frowned at, and she cringed when Naruto suddenly blurted out. ["I'm so sorry! I had no idea! Why didn't you say anything?! Why didn't you tell me it's your birthday?! Oh my god, I'm really, really sorry. I feel so bad! I wouldn't have taken him if I had known, I swear. And this little smart-ass didn't say anything about it, either, until he asked me to drop by the party supply store! Uh, I mean... nevermind. Again, I'm sorry, and... Happy birthday, Hinata. I really hope you're happy."] He cleared his throat before continuing.["Are you home right now? We're on our way to see you."]
Menma's voice echoed once again. ["Dad, there's the cake shop!]
["Oh, you're right."]
Hinata walked toward the table and stared down at the gadget, as it announced the eleventh and very first voicemail she received. She could imagine Naruto's face; the way his eyebrows must have quirked or how his lips must have pulled into a beautiful smile as he uttered each and every word. Hinata could even imagine the expression his blue eyes make as if he was actually looking at her.
["Hey Hinata, are you home? Menma-kun suddenly wants to see you. He's literally down on his knees right now. I really hope you could see this. It's really funny. He just won't let go of my right leg and begs me to drive him back to your place. So that's what I'm gonna do, or else I'll be dragging him literally around the house the entire day. I'll just clean up a bit and drop him off at your apartment. Please call me or send me a text once you get my message. Thanks. Bye.]
Half-way through the message, Hinata found hot tears rolling down her cheeks.
"What did I just do?" She asked herself, covering her hands over her face to silence the sounds of her sobs. "I'm sorry. I had no idea, Naruto-kun."
Hinata quickly wiped away the tears when the door suddenly opened, and she found her younger sister entering the room, holding a small pink pastry box in one hand.
"Is Menma-kun home?" Hanabi asked, pulling her pink jacket off her shoulders and hanging it behind the door.
"Y-Yeah." She answered, sniffling back. "I thought you said you don't have your keys."
Hanabi slyly smiled. "Nah. I just wanted you to wait for me. I bought you a cake. Happy birthday, neesan."
"Thank you, Hanabi. That's very thoughtful of you."
"I'm the best sister, right?" Hanabi playfully batted her eyelashes.
"You're my only sister." Hinata giggled, watching her sister get herself a glass of water.
"So, how's your date with Kiba-niisan?"
"What are you talking about? I told you it wasn't a date. We just had a simple dinner. That's it."
"Simple? At that restaurant? Yeah, right." Hanabi rolled her eyes, knowing full well how expensive the place was. "So... did he propose?"
"What?! No! Would you please stop that? Kiba-kun is just a friend." Hinata pouted as she continued to wash the plates. "W-We're just friends."
A small frown formed at the younger Hyuuga's lips before she let out a deep sigh. "My god. That Kiba-niisan. Why is he such a loser?"
Hinata chuckled, wiping the clean plates dry with a towel and placing them back at the cupboard. She walked past Hanabi, gently patting her younger sister's head, and reluctantly looked out the window. Taking a peek behind the curtain, she could see still see snowflakes slowly falling, gathering on her window sill. "Hanabi, tell me something..." She paused, chewing on her lower lip, as she gazed out the snow-covered city. "How did you know Menma's here?"
Hanabi's hand stopped mid-air, holding a forkful of sweets on its way to her mouth. "W-What?"
Hinata closed the curtains and eyed Hanabi seriously. "Tell me. Is... Naruto-kun... still here?"
Two pairs of white eyes remained fixed at each other, and despite the moist texture of the cake, Hanabi found it hard to swallow. She only looked at her older sister's sad eyes but didn't give an answer. Lowering her stern gaze, she moved away from the table, uttering the very first words that came to her head to avoid answering her sister's question. "I'm gonna go take a dump."
Oooxxxooo
Naruto leaned his back heavily on the car seat, intertwined fingers resting on top of his head. Sighing deeply, his eyes opened just a crack and gazed at the cloudy view in front of him.
It was a bit difficult to tell if it was still snowing. He couldn't see clearly, that even the time on his car's digital clock was hard to read. There weren't any faces, just silhouettes of people passing by his car, and he couldn't distinguish lights, either. They all appeared as bright blurry orbs that coloured his vision as they overlapped one another.
He reached for the key to start his car, only to turn the engine off again.
There was no way he could drive home with one eye barely opening. He absolutely felt like shit, but he had no plans of killing himself just yet. He closed his lids, catching the outline of a gray old building at the corner of the street, before he completely shut his eyes. He remained still, thinking.
"Why did I just do that?" He uttered sullenly under his breath as memories of what happened earlier kept playing and replaying inside his head. He had finally seen Hinata and gotten the chance to talk to her, after months of trying to avoid each other. He had always wanted to talk to her, apologize, and clear some things up; yet the first thing he did was scowl at her and thoughtlessly insulted her on her birthday. He recalled spewing unnecessary words and the hurt it brought the dark-haired woman in effect. Naruto rubbed his hands over his face as he breathed deeply, his swollen fingers running through his unkempt yellow hair. Accidentally driving off a cliff suddenly seemed not such a bad idea after all.
"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Naruto murmured, repeatedly banging the back of his head against the car seat. Slamming his head against the seat one last time, he stopped and reached for his cell phone from the dashboard, thinking about calling her and apologizing for real this time. But, after all that had happened, he thought, 'Will she answer?' He moved the phone closer to his eyes and sighed, gazing at his son's photo on the screen. An adorable grin was pulling the boy's lips, just like how it always did when he's facing a camera. He was a bright little kid and was rarely shy, and despite his playful, sometimes mischievous, behaviour, Menma always had that sweet, angelic face just like Hinata.
Looking at Menma's picture, Naruto could tell that the boy was growing up looking more like her. When Naruto was a kid, he recalled asking his own mother once why he looked so much like his dad- Naruto wanted his hair red, for god's sake. He remembered his mother smiling sweetly at him as she answered that it was because her 'love for daddy was greater'. Taking one last look at Menma's photo, Naruto wondered if that was always the truth, because between him and Hinata, he knew that it had always been her. It was definitely her whose love was greater. It was her heart that held a plethora of forgiveness and unconditional love.
But he probably lost that love this time, for good.
"Damn it!" Naruto hissed, his fist hitting the car window. Closing his eyes, he plopped back down against the car seat. The warm surface of the screen touched his forehead as the display slowly faded and dimmed. "Why am I so stupid?" He whispered to himself. "Just why am I so stupid?"
The cell phone screen lit up at an incoming call, and Naruto's eyes shot open. He raised his gaze and cursed, finding that his vision was still a blur. Focusing his eyes on the name on the screen, he froze, his swollen blue eyes going wide at the greatest extent possible, and blood rushed in his ears. He blinked a few times, but Hinata's name did not disappear. He swallowed hard, before answering the call. He took in a deep breath and licked his lips as he listened to the voice on the other line.
Oooxxxooo
Hinata's expression when she got inside Naruto's car went from pure shock to one of being horrified. She remembered Kiba punching Naruto in his left cheek, causing a cut that she was sure could be deep, but never did she expect to see Naruto look so beat up, with bloodshot eyes only half-open from all the swelling. There was the cut on his left cheek, but it was more bruised, and blood still seeped out from the cut on his lips. There were blood traces beneath his nose, on his hair, his shirt, and on the chafed skin on the back of his hands. She closed her mouth that had been left hanging open in surprise and looked at Naruto straight in the eyes.
"W-What happened to you?" She asked worriedly.
Anger and embarrassment, among other emotions, crossed his face, and Naruto looked away, trying to avoid her gaze. "This is nothing. Don't worry about me."
Hinata exclaimed. "What are you talking about? You're hurt! Tell me what happened, Naruto-kun." White eyes went wider as Hinata realized one possibility. Her voice trailed off as she started to speak. "D-Did you get into another fight with... Kiba-kun?" The scowl that Naruto gave her for an answer made her gasp. Hinata rubbed her palms over her face and cried out. "Oh my god! What did the two of you just do?"
"He asked for it. Do you really think I'd just let him hit me like that?" Naruto smirked. "Heh. That asshole punched like a kid."
"Oh my god! What were you guys thinking?" She cried.
"He started it."
"Is this how you properly deal with things, Naruto-kun? You're not five-year olds!"
Naruto bit his tongue and snapped his head back at her. "You know what? Why don't you just go back to your apartment, if you're just going to yell at me like that, huh? Just call that dog and ask him how he's doing-" Another wave of guilt struck him the moment he said the last word. He watched the anger in Hinata's eyes turned into an expression of pain as she looked away.
"Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe that's what I'll do. Goodnight, Naruto-kun." Hinata swallowed the lump in her throat, hurriedly gathering her jacket and a cloth bag in her trembling hands. She unlocked the car door and pushed it open. She was about to get off when she felt a strong hand wrap around her wrist.
"I'm sorry." Naruto said quickly, shame reflecting in his gaze. "I-I didn't mean that. Please stay. Don't leave yet... Please. I'm sorry."
Hinata thought carefully and sighed as she pulled the door close again. "We should stop wasting time, Naruto-kun. We both know I can't stay here that long."
"Y-You're right. I'm really sorry."
Hinata spoke softly, taking a roll of gauze and an antiseptic from her bag. "I had no idea that... you would get beaten up this bad. I didn't bring enough to dress all your wounds."
"I told you I'm okay. I can take care of this when I get home."
"Let me at least do something about that cut on your face."
He looked at her curiously from the corner of his eyes. "How did you know I'm still here?"
"Hanabi told me she saw your car parked right here." She answered, not looking away from the gauze she was cutting.
"Hanabi told you that?"
"Unintentionally." She replied briefly.
"Oh. Well, I'm still a bit surprised that she agreed about you seeing me."
"Y-Yeah." Hinata hesitantly pointed a finger at one of the lighted windows. "Hanabi's right there watching us from the window.
Naruto raised his glance and saw a silhouette of a woman standing next to Hinata's bedroom window. He cautiously waved his hand and frowned, when the person moved and appeared to have flipped him off. "Yup. That's your sister right there. Is she aiming a gun at me? Please tell me she's not."
"She's not." Hinata answered, fighting back a smile. "But she said she'd throw a brick at you if you try to do something funny."
"Really..."
"Yeah."
Naruto quirked a brow. "You know, I don't get it. You don't allow Menma-kun to play Halo, telling me it's violent, but you let him live with your sister. It doesn't make sense." Naruto's expression softened, catching Hinata softly smiled at him for the first time that night. "I'm just kidding. You really have a great sister."
"I know." Hinata shifted on her seat to face him. "Okay, I'm done with the bandages. Can you move a bit closer?"
"Hey, you really don't have to. I-I told you I'm-"
"Just let me see that, Naruto-kun." Soft hands touched Naruto's left cheek, and Hinata gently turned his swollen face toward her so their eyes would meet.
Both immediately looked away the moment it did.
"L-Let me take a look." Her voice was almost a whisper.
He reluctantly returned his gaze back at her and watched her intently. He studied her face, her eyes, as they remained downcast as a soft blush tinged her cheeks, and the way her warm fingers carefully dabbed wet gauze around the cut on his lip. Her hands stopped, and she looked up at him when his mouth moved as he tried to speak. Naruto's throat tensed at Hinata's gaze, and he breathed deeply, catching a whiff of vanilla on her skin. "Hinata-"
"I listened to your messages." She cut him off, her fingers starting to work again. "I listened to all of them, and I... I kind of understand why you became upset. I didn't leave my phone on purpose. I just really forgot to bring it. I'm sorry. I know you're just doing it for Menma-kun."
"W-What..?" Naruto winced out of embarrassment and shook his head. "No, no... Hinata... no. Please... don't apologize. I should be the one doing that. I-I was wrong. I got upset and said mean things to you. I'm really, really sorry."
Hinata only glanced at him, moving her hands to tend on the wound on his left cheek.
"I'm really sorry, Hinata." Naruto licked his lips. "I'm sorry about the things I said earlier. I'm so insensitive. I'm stupid. I'm an asshole. I'm a jerk, and I actually wanted to thank Kiba for beating me up this bad because I do deserve it for saying awful things to you on your birthday. I got unreasonably upset and... ended up insulting you. Damn..." He groaned, remembering the words he told her. "I'm really, really sorry. I hope you can still forgive me."
Hinata met his apologetic eyes and sighed. "I really didn't like it when you talked to me like that. I know I've been careless too, but I don't think I deserve to be talked down that way."
The look of guilt returned to Naruto's face. "I'm so sorry. I swear I won't ever do it again. Please forgive me."
"But as I said, I understand why you acted that way. You got upset because you felt like I disappointed Menma-kun. I guess I'm partly at fault."
He pressed his lips together. Being called a 'shitty father' and seeing Kiba place a hand over Hinata's shoulder could have also caused the unnecessary behaviour, but Naruto knew better and just kept quiet about it. He gazed down, afraid that his eyes might give him away. "No. You didn't do anything wrong. It's also my fault Menma-kun got upset. I'm the adult; I should've known better than suddenly coming over without telling you. I'm just plain stupid. That's it."
"I-I also wanted to apologize about what happened with Kiba. He might have overdone it when he punched you, but he's just trying to protect me."
"I know. That guy cares about you. He's in love with you. He made sure I knew it when he punched me five times straight in the face."
A sad smile formed on her lips, and she gazed deeply into the eyes that looked back at her, lightly tracing his broken skin with the pad of her thumb. "This must have hurt." She said, referring to the cut Kiba's punches made on his left cheek.
"Yeah, a bit. But it's okay. I deserve it." Naruto's shoulders dropped with relief, and he let out a breath. "I promise you, Hinata, that I'll never do it again. I promise I won't talk to you like that ever again."
"O-Okay. I'll remember that." She replied, a blush grazing her cheeks.
Naruto smiled and let himself stare silently at Hinata, paying no mind to the pain caused by her pressing an alcoholised gauze against his skin. He could see it, as he watched her place a cold pack on the other side of his face. Her warm, sweet smile slowly returning, and those beautiful white eyes were, again, tender. She glanced up at him, realizing that he was staring, and for a reason, his eyes shied away from her gaze.
"T-Those flowers are really beautiful. Thanks."
"I'm glad you liked it. I-I don't know what else to get you for your birthday."
"It's pretty." Hinata softly spoke. "But you really shouldn't have, Naruto-kun. I kind of... feel bad."
"W-Why?" He asked, his lips turning slightly into a frown.
"Think about how Sakura-san would feel if she finds out that you bought me flowers. Aren't you two still working things out? It wouldn't be nice if she starts to feel like you're cheating on her again." Hinata explained.
Naruto dropped his gaze again, wondering how he had completely forgotten about Sakura, who's at work probably thinking he was at home sleeping. "R-Right."
"Are things going well with her?" She asked but never got an answer. "W-Well... they probably are, right?"
"Y-Yeah." He replied briefly.
"I-It would've been nice."
"What is?"
"I mean, Menma-kun. He would have been so happy, if the surprise did happen." She continued in a sad voice. "It would have been nice to see him look so happy. He seemed really excited about it."
"He was. He's jumping, screaming, and running around. It's really hard to keep up with that little guy's energy. I thought it's just sugar acting, until he told me about his plans of surprising you."
"I-I feel so bad."
He sighed. "Don't worry. We can just try it again next week. I'll just tell him that something came up and I couldn't stay-"
"Not just that. I feel bad... lying to him. I think we should start telling him the truth, Naruto-kun."
Naruto felt his breath hitched. He watched as Hinata slowly moved the cold pack away from his face and rested her hands on her knees. "W-What do you mean?"
She lowered her gaze. "Menma-kun probably thinks we're like the perfect families he sees on TV. Celebrating birthdays, having dinner, going on vacations together. We're not like that, Naruto-kun. Not even close. Lately he's been asking questions. About you and me. Why we live in different houses. Why we don't talk. He doesn't fully understand it yet, but he's beginning to notice the things around him. He doesn't know what's going on, but he knows there's something wrong with it. He's also been asking about Sakura-san, too. We have a very curious kid, Naruto-kun." Giving him a quick glance, she looked away again. "I'm thinking. Maybe... M-Maybe we should go talk to Menma-kun, tell him how our relationship really is; the truth that we... aren't actually and will not be... t-together."
Naruto kept quiet, her words starting to cause a sudden disquiet in his head. He knew exactly what she meant. More than once, the little boy had asked him a series of questions until he had no idea how the hell to answer. Just like Hinata, he had wanted his son to understand, but he never knew how to. The last thing he ever wanted was to make the little kid upset.
Hinata must have noticed the look on his face, and she started to talk fast, stuttering, and forcing out a smile as she did so. "B-But we don't have to do it right away. L-Let's think first about how we'll do it. It doesn't have to be tomorrow or next week. J-Just tell me when y-you're ready."
"O-Okay."
"But I hope we can do it as soon as possible." Hinata let out a deep sigh, taking his wounded right hand with hers and wiping it with a new thick layer of gauze. "I'm sorry for suddenly asking you this. I just feel like, I can't lie to Menma-kun anymore. We both want to protect him, but... I don't think lying is the right way to do it. We're always telling him that lying is bad, but we're actually the ones doing it. And, you and Sakura-san would soon... get married, too. I think it's better if we tell him the truth before he learns about things himself."
Naruto felt his throat dry. "You're right. I just don't know how to tell him. What if he starts to ask questions? I wouldn't know what to do if he starts crying."
"I'll be there with you." Hinata quickly answered, giving his hand a light squeeze. "We're going to do it together, Naruto-kun... when you drop him off one day... when we're both ready."
His eyes moved from her hands to intently study the expression on her face, her beautiful eyes showing undeniable sadness. "Alright." Naruto shifted on his seat, slightly turning away from her and leaned his back heavily again against the chair. He stared blankly outside the car, seeing a bit better now. The lights from the lampposts were clearer, and he noticed the snow had stopped falling. He only noticed, too, but Hanabi's silhouette at the window was also gone. In the silence, he could hear his heart rapidly beating. "I'm scared that one day, Menma-kun will start hating me."
"H-Hate you? Why do you say that?" She asked.
Half-closed eyes remained fixed at the view on the opposite side of the windscreen. "I feel like, all the bad things that have been happening are all my fault. Tell me, I really screwed up, didn't I?" Naruto paused to look at her. "I know things wouldn't be simple, but... I just fucked it all up so bad. I wouldn't be surprised if Menma-kun would start blaming me when he gets older."
For a short moment, Hinata's hands stopped moving to cover his hand with hers. "Everyone has some things they regret about, Naruto-kun. It's just human to make mistakes. We have weaknesses. We make poor choices. What matters is that you learn from it and that you try do something to make things right. Isn't that what's important?"
"The only thing I ever did what to make things worse." Naruto sighed. "I just don't know how the hell I would make things right anymore."
Hinata smiled, continuing to fix his wounds. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Naruto-kun. Menma-kun believes in you. And, he wouldn't hate you. He might get upset, but he wouldn't hate you. He knows how much you love him and how much you care for him. Soon, he'll understand all these. You just have to assure him that you will love him just the same. That you love him and will be there for him no matter what happens."
He couldn't help but look at her with awe from the corner of his eyes, the corner of his lips pulling into a thin smile. "This is so embarrassing. You're supposed to be mad at me right now, but you're here helping me instead. Thank you. You're a really strong person, Hinata. I really like that about you."
She smiled back, gazing down to hide her blush.
"And I hope you're right. I really, really love that kid, and I can't imagine my life now without him. I-I just hope that he can also forgive me... because I'm a good-for-nothing weekend-dad who knows nothing... but hurt his mother." He turned his head to properly look at her, and she tensed, feeling his rough hand move and link their fingers together. "I know how much I've hurt you. Whenever we see each other, I always have something to apologize to you about. I've never been good to you, Hinata, and countless times, I mess up. But please believe me. I never wanted to hurt you. I might be a stupid asshole most of the time, but I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to make things difficult for you or for Menma-kun. It's not my intention to see you two go through something like this." He paused, feeling his voice starting to crack. "I'm sorry, Hinata. I really wish I could do things all over again. I wish I never said the things I had said to you before. You've been nothing but good to me, but the last time we talked to each other, I drove you away." Noticing her silence, Naruto squeezed her hands tighter. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you again last time."
Hinata tried to keep a straight face. "Maybe we should not talk about this, Naruto-kun. We both made our decisions. Talking about it will just make us more confused. Please don't make things difficult for the both of us."
"Do you even know why I said it?" He quickly retorted in a disgruntled voice. "I don't think you do, because you got upset and suddenly walked out on me."
"Of course, I was upset! What you did hurt me. A lot!" Hinata couldn't help but lash out. "I didn't want it, but you got me to agree about you taking Menma-kun during weekends. Then, you kissed me. Then you wanted me to suddenly forget about you!? Do you think I'd still want to listen to you after all those crap?" Hinata was already yelling right before she knew it. She bit her lip, her face flushed and eyes wide, realizing that she just suddenly snapped angrily at him. "I-I'm... I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun. I didn't mean to yell at you."
Naruto dismissed her apology with a shake of his head, and he tightened his hold on her hand. "You have all the right to do so." In a soft voice, he spoke. "I'm sorry about what I did that night. T-That kiss was really uncalled for."
"You know how I feel about you, and I know I've said that I would never ask anything in return, but why-" She swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "Why do I still feel like I'm being taken for granted?"
Naruto could only stare, unable to utter a single word, feeling his body froze when she asked him the painful question. Sad eyes stared back at him, and her lips quivered, but not even once did she cry.
"Oh damn." Naruto's voice was filled with remorse, as he slowly let go of Hinata's hand for a short while to run a hand through his hair. "God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hinata. I never meant for you to feel that way. I said it because I thought that... I-I didn't want to see you get hurt anymore." Naruto struggled for words. "It hurts whenever I see you cry because of me. I want to see you happy, and I also don't think you deserve to be treated this way. You deserve to be truly loved, Hinata. What you deserve is a guy who has just as much love to give as you do. Someone who will not hurt you." Naruto confessed. "I do want you to forget about me, but it's definitely not to get rid of you..." He pouted at her silence. He gritted his teeth, feeling his heart clenched when she slowly, gently pulled her hand back. "You don't believe me?"
"N-No. That's not it. I'm just... I don't know. I don't know what to feel anymore. You said you don't want things to be difficult for me... but hearing you say all these all of a sudden is not making it easier, either." Hinata turned to face him. "Tell me. How do you really feel about me, Naruto-kun? What am I really to you?"
Naruto remained silent, taking a breath that he let out slowly. His eyes were fixed at the headliner, maintaining a conscious effort not to gaze at her. He could not look at those eyes- those pure, white eyes that held so much pain he himself had inflicted. His words had probably gotten the message across- that she is important and he cares so much about her, and that he only wishes nothing but her happiness. But he knew those words held a deeper meaning that he had yet to admit to anyone. A stronger emotion that he couldn't admit, not even to himself. Naruto bit his tongue, trying to fight back the urge to put into words the real feelings he's been keeping in his chest, because doing so would just hurt her more.
Hinata lowered her gaze, saddened by the lack of response. "It's okay. You don't have to answer that."
"Y-You mean a lot to me, Hinata."
"I said it's okay. I-I'm not actually asking for an answer. I know what you'll probably say anyway." She said with a faint smile.
"Just hear me out, please." Naruto faced her, this time looking straight in her eyes. "I certainly want you to be happy. And this... whatever it is that we have won't make you anywhere near that. I want things to be fair to Sakura-chan, and I certainly want it to be fair to you, too. I don't want your feelings for me to hold you back-"
Hinata felt her lips trembling as she averted her eyes. "I-I understand. Perfectly. So please, don't say anything anymore."
Naruto fell silent, watching her breath form in the cold air as she tried to calm herself down. He wanted to touch her, wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace and tell her everything's going to be alright. He opened his mouth, but no words formed on his lips.
"T-That kiss last time, and you asking me to forget about you... that was really it, wasn't it?" Hinata spoke again after a long silence, her voice was not as heavy as it used to. "You know what... If forgetting you is something so easy to do, then I should've done it five years ago."
Eyes fixed outside his car window, Naruto just quietly listened.
"I tried to avoid you for months, Naruto-kun. But, forgetting about you just seemed so... impossible. I-I love you, and I have a kid who looks so much like you. How am I supposed to do that?" She closed her eyes, feeling the sting from the tears that threatened to fall. "But I do know that is exactly the right thing to do. This will be hard, but, I can do it, and I'll be fine."
"I'm really sorry."
She opened her eyes again, settling her gaze up on the lighted window of her bedroom. Her son was there, sleeping, waiting for her to come back. "No, I'm thinking this is also my fault. I've always known I have to do this. I knew I couldn't compete with Sakura-san. But I became selfish. I secretly hoped for you to, someday, return my feelings. I wanted you to love me back. I said before that I don't care if you wouldn't- I guess that's not true at all. I've always wanted you to see me, and that's what made things worse. If only I have given up earlier on that hope, then you wouldn't have grown to care about me. This wouldn't have happened."
"No. You didn't do anything wrong." He whispered.
A weak smile grazed Hinata's features, and she sighed. "So, yeah... You're right. Let's just forget about it all and move on. It's not like we're breaking up or anything. We're just... moving on. I guess." The grief in her eyes vanished as quickly as it appeared, and she forced out a sweet smile. "'No hard feelings', right? And, thank you for letting me know that you care for me. You're a very sweet guy, Naruto-kun. Sakura-san is really lucky to have you."
"I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry Hinata."
"I told you, you don't have to worry about me, Naruto-kun. I'll be fine." She gave him a sidelong glance, watching as he leaned back heavily on his seat, both hands dejectedly rubbing away the tired expression on his face. "I'll be fine." She uttered under her breath, gazing intently at him.
Naruto's heart felt heavy. Previous fights with Sakura had always left an undescribable pain in him, but the one he was feeling right now was, surprisingly, more painful and much worse, like, being stabbed repeatedly on the chest and he couldn't do anything about it. He never wanted to lose the woman seating beside him, but keeping her would just mean passing her the pain she didn't deserve.
But wasn't the pain she's feeling right now any different? He could see by the way she looked into his eyes and the way she talked that he's slowly, painfully, breaking her to pieces. Naruto cringed at the thought and bit his lip, making it bleed again.
"K-Kiba-kun confessed to me... last night, over dinner."
His eyes opened when she spoke again.
"H-He told me he's in love with me." She continued with a hesitant voice. "A-And I've... I've known him for a while now, and he gets along well with Menma-kun. So, I'm thinking..." She looked away from his gaze. "I-I'm thinking of giving Kiba-kun a chance." Her voice faltered.
"Oh." He managed to say after a period of silence.
"Y-Yeah. H-He's a great guy, and... well..."
Naruto frowned, looking at the troubled expression on her face. "That's... good." He shifted on seat, watching her from the corner of his eyes. "The guy's madly in love with you."
"I know."
"I-I think you should go for it... unless-" Naruto let out an exasperated sigh. "-you're just telling me that so I wouldn't feel so guilty and worry so much about you."
"W-What?"
"You're not really good at lying, Hinata." His lips formed a sad smile.
"I'm sorry." Hinata closed her eyes again to stop the tears from falling. "You're a kind person, Naruto-kun. I know how bad you must be feeling. But don't feel awful choosing Sakura-san over me. You love her, so this is something bound to happen. So, I want you to stop worrying about me. I'll be fine. I swear." With eyes downcast, Hinata slumped down on her seat. "Are you mad at me, Naruto-kun?"
"Of course not. I'm mad at myself because I think I made you do it." Naruto clenched his jaw. "After all these, you're still thinking about how I feel..." Naruto softly said, shaking his head a bit. "Just what did I do for you to love me this much, Hinata?" He could feel his chest tighten at the sight of the tears she promptly dried with her ring finger. He remembered his brain shaking every single time Kiba's fists had connected to his face. One of those punches landed on his right ear, so he must be hearing things, but he also remembered Kiba rumbling, in between punches, about why on earth Hinata had chosen a useless guy and that an asshole like Naruto didn't deserve a woman like her. And Kiba was right. Realizing that she was doing it again- saving him from all the hurt- when he should be the one sparing her from the pain, Naruto knew he didn't deserve that kind of love. "Y-You really should just forget about me."
A heavy silence fell, several minutes spent and wasted with just the two of them looking outside the window, avoiding each other. He heard her shift on her seat and straighten the hem of her skirt.
"I think it's better if we tell everything to Menma-kun when you pick him up next week." Hinata's voice was calm.
"I think so, too."
"Can you see better now? Can you drive?"
"Yeah."
"What are you going to tell Sakura-san... about those bruises?"
"I don't know. I'll just think about it when I get home."
"It'll be hard to explain to her."
"That's true."
"Well, you should go get some rest. You can keep the cold pack."
"Thanks."
"I-I... I have to go back, now."
"Okay." He said with a voice barely louder than a whisper. The lock flicked, and he heard the door swing open.
In a matter of seconds, Hinata would be gone.
One strong hand grabbing her wrist kept her where she was seated, and Hinata immediately turned her head back to look at the person firmly holding her. His hand was warm against her skin, and she could feel his body trembling.
"I'm so sorry for all the things that you had to go through because of me. Please believe me when I say that I really care about you, Hinata. I care about you. I care about you a lot." Naruto repeated.
A car passed by, and a quick yellow light brightened the dark interior of Naruto's car. In that short moment, she saw the outline of his face more clearly. He didn't turn to look back at her and remained weakly facing front. His eyes remained closed, the moment she took a glimpse of his face in that sudden brightness. She took note of the swelling of his eyes and the cut on the right side of his lower lip. It was just brief moment, but she was able to catch sight of the tears rolling down his swollen cheeks, slowly disappearing on his shirt.
Hinata gently freed herself from his grasp and took in a long deep breath. There was an audible gulp before she spoke again. "Before I go, Naruto-kun," Gathering up all her courage, she reached out and placed a hand on his cheek so he would face her. "C-Can I... Can I be selfish just one last time?"
Naruto looked at her surprised, unsure if he understood her clearly, but before he could utter an answer, Hinata leaned in and crashed her lips onto his.
It was a kiss he had never had before. Her lips were warm, soft, and sweet, but the kisses they're giving were deep, unyielding and tender. It felt almost hungry, filled with feelings of desire, love, and yearning, like all emotion she tried to suppress all this years had finally resurfaced, trying to reach him.
And it did.
He was slightly taken aback, but Naruto returned the kiss with the same fervour, sliding his hand to caress the back of her neck and slowly pulling her closer. Her hand clinging weakly onto his chest moved to cup his face, her fingers tracing the cuts and bruises as she deepened the kiss.
He wanted to remember everything- from her soft lips, to the sweet taste of her tongue. To the way his hands tangled with her hair. The feel of her hands touching his skin. Her earlobe. The slender form of her neck. Her smooth cheeks. Those warm tears that rolled down her chin.
Every detail, every touch, now etched on his memory.
And, it was like they never wanted to end it, giving each other several quick kisses before hesitantly parting, both breathing heavily when they did so.
Hinata didn't look at him when the kiss broke. Her eyes remained shut as she rested her forehead against his, feeling his warm breath on her skin. Sighing deeply, she licked her lips, before closing the gap again between them as she pressed into him for another prolonged kiss, softer, more slowly than the previous one.
Then, without a word, Hinata gently pulled away and hurriedly got off his car.
It's as if time had stopped for Naruto the moment the car door slammed shut. He remained still, with his eyes closed and one hand still reaching out to the spot where Hinata once was. Weakly, he shifted, letting his head drop against the back of the car seat, and ran both hands through his hair. Licking his lips, he tasted her.
In the silence, he began crying.