Chapter 9: Potter v. Dursley: May the Best Boyfriend Win

"Lily, your freak boyfriend is here," Petunia says, lifting her nose up in disgust. "He's late. Vernon arrived four hours ago."

"Maybe Vernon is early," I say, standing after sliding my school trunk under the bed, trying to hide the fact that James' identical trunk and two brooms were also hiding underneath. "James is on time and won't bore Mum and Dad with stocks and bonds and bank talk."

"At least my boyfriend has a real job."

"Mine will too when we graduate." I give her my thinnest most insincere smile before hurrying downstairs.

James looks up eagerly when I enter the living room, looking like he wants to come kiss me but restrains himself. I flounce over to him instead, perching on the arm of the sofa, before leaning to kiss the top of his messy hair.

"Good afternoon, James. Mum...Dad...This is James Potter. He's in my House at school."

"Pleased to meet you both," James says, shaking hands as best he can with me still leaning on his left side, his arm now around my waist to steady me. "I have to say this is the first time I've been in a Muggle--I mean Non-Magic--house. It's quite the charming setup."

"Thank you!" Mum beams. "How nice of you to say so!"

"You must have all sorts of tricks and charms to make life easier at your home," Dad says.

James grins. "It's what I'm used to. I would think it would be much more rewarding and instill a sense of accomplishment, though, to do things your way. Tricks and charms only make wizards lazier in a sense." His grin widens and Mum and Dad are duly impressed.

"What a fascinating young man, Lily," Mum says, passing tea cakes around. "Petunia, where did your fellow run off to?"

"Vernon is setting up the chess set in the garden, Mother," Petunia answers. "He's quite good. Perhaps Mr. Potter would like to challenge him. The loser can...wash the lunch dishes."

James looks at me, uncertain.

"It's Muggle Chess," I explain. "Just like Wizard Chess except you have to move the pieces by hand and they don't kill each other."

He shrugs, managing to keep me pressed to his side when he stands. "I'll give it a go. I'm not brilliant at chess, but will give it a go. Lead the way, Lily's sister."

"Petunia," she says primly. "My name is Petunia."

"Do you need help setting up lunch, Mum?" I ask as I'm being drug along to the garden.

"No, dear. You young people have fun!"

Petunia's boyfriend, Vernon, is indeed already in the garden, chess set assembled neatly beside him on one of the stone benches. For nineteen, he's obviously trying to look much older with a dark brown business suit, shiny dress shoes, and tie. His hair perhaps is also a lighter shade of brown than it appears but it is impossible to tell with the globs of pomade streaked through it. He has a very, very thin moustache and propensity to over-eat since his buttons are already straining on his suit coat.

"I'm Petunia's elder sister Lily and this is James Potter," I introduce us.

Vernon holds out a sweaty hand. "Vernon Dursley."

"A pleasure," James says, sitting down on the other side of the chess board. "I have to say I've never played Muggle chess. I might not be any good."

Vernon and Petunia seem to enjoy this news, Petunia taking up position as Vernon's cheering section, one hand steady on his shoulder. I do the same for James.

"You can beat them," I whisper close to his ear. "If not, it's only dishes and I'll help."

"Can I spray you with water?"

"Another time," I promise, leaning around to kiss his cheek before leveling my gaze on my sister and her boyfriend. "Petunia...Vernon...May the best man win."

The boys shake hands again and the match commences.