"Hello and welcome back to Hot as Here! I'm your host, Lucifer and this is my co-host: Adam!" The blonde announced.
"Do I really have to be here?" Adam sighed.
"Yes of course you do! For our first guest, he's an older brother, he's died more times than we can count, he loves pie! It's DEAN WINCHESTER!"
The next shot is the familiar face of the infamous Dean.
"What the Hell?" He looks around, confused.
"So Dean... what's it like to be back in Hell?" Lucifer asked.
"Screw you, asshat. Let me go." Dean growled.
"Oh come on Dean! You're on TV! Just give me seven to ten minutes of your time, please!" Lucifer chided.
"And why would I wanna do that?"
Lucifer whistled and waved someone over. A short man comes out on stage and whispers into Dean's ear. Dean's facial expression changes and he stops arguing.
"Now... Dean. Ignore my previous question. Cherry or Apple?" Lucifer waved the man back offstage.
"Pie? Pie is pie." Dean shrugged. Lucifer nodded.
"So... what was it like to be a demon?" he asked.
"Terrible. But I guess you wouldn't really know, would ya, Broken Wings?" Adam looked at Lucifer to see his reaction, but the fallen angel looked emotionless.
"Yes... I guess I wouldn't. Anything to ask, Adam?"
Adam looked back at Dean nervously.
"Um..."
"Adam? Geez... you're still here?" Dean looked almost guilty. Adam narrowed his eyes.
"Yes I'm still here. Yes I have a question. What's it like to completely forget your brother in Hell?! Oh right, I'm not your full blood brother. I'm just a measly half brother. Sam this, Sam that. Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. No one remembers Adam, no one cares about Adam! And YOU are just gonna get to go right back up to the real world after this interview, yet you were throwing a fit about being back here. Well you know what?! I'M DONE! You can take all the things you care about, your actual brother, your angel that we ALL know you're in love with, your car, and your god damned pie, because OH let's care more about pie than family! YOU CAN TAKE ALL THOSE THINGS AND SHOVE 'EM! *BEEP* THIS *BEEP*" Adam throws his hands up and walks off stage steaming.
There is silence for a few seconds as Lucifer and Dean try to piece together what just happened.
"Okayyyyyy... we'll let him calm down a little..."
"Was it something I said..?" Dean asked.
"We'll be back after these messages..."
The next shot is of a healthy, muscular, shirtless man.
"Think your vessel could lose a few pounds? Need to buff up? Well then use my weight loss/training program!"
We see him lifting weights as a voiceover starts.
"In just one month you will start to see changes in your vessel's muscular abilities."
We see him looking at the camera again.
"Want to look good and be strong? Call 1-666-LBS-GONE. That's 1-666-LBS-GONE!"
"Hello and welcome back to Hot as Here!" We see that Adam has returned, but still looks angry. "Our next guest... he's a little brother who's actually the middle child, every girl he's ever loved has died, he loves salad and demon blood! IT'S SAM WINCHESTER!"
Cut to Sam sitting in a chair looking awkward.
"Thanks...?"
"So Sam... where should I begin... Miss ya!" Lucifer laughs. Sam shifts around uncomfortably.
"Adam...? I'm so sorry-" Sam begins, but Adam holds up a hand.
"I don't wanna hear it, I don't wanna talk about it."
Sam looks down in dismay.
"Sam. What's it like to not have drank demon blood in so long? Get any cravings? Demon blood smoothie, demon blood soft drink, straight up demon blood?" Lucifer asks. Before Sam can respond we hear a crash backstage followed by a "SONOFABITCH!" Sam perks up.
"Was that Dean? DEAN?!"
"He's fine, Sam. Just touching things he shouldn't be touching..." Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. But Adam starts up again.
"See? This is what I'm talking about! This unhealthy obsession with each other. Sam this, Dean that. UGH!"
Sam frowns and Lucifer puts a hand on Adam's shoulder.
"You aren't the first one to say this. Sam, do you ever think you'll find a woman who won't die after you have... done the deed?"
Sam turns bright red.
"Excuse me?"
"Well it's just that, all your ladies have kicked the bucket... Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something..."
"Are you calling me gay?" Sam rose an eyebrow, but didn't get as defensive as Dean would have gotten.
"No, no, I'm just... speculating."
Sam shakes his head and looks over at Adam.
"We'll find a way to get you out of here, I swear."
"Sure you will..." Adam spat.
"Adam really, I'm sorry we forgot you..."
There's a beep and Lucifer jumps in.
"Oh, we're out of time. Thanks for watching folks. Join us again next time on Hot as Here!"
Credits roll and music plays. Adam sulks off.