"Heeellllooooo and welcome back to Hot as Here! I'm your host, Lucifer and this is my co-host: Adam! Say hi Adam!" Lucifer smiled.
"Hey..." Adam sighed, knowing he had no other choice and would have to give into this torture sooner or later.
"Alright! So our first guest today... he's a brother, he's had tons of personality changes, he's messed up a lot, the ladies-" Lucifer does a little side whisper to the camera: "And apparently some men too." he winks and turns back to his original spot. "Love him! It's Castiel!"
Cut to a shot of a very confused looking Cas.
"What am I doing here? Lucifer... Adam?"
"Haha! So Cassy boy... what's it like, knowing that you've disappointed your family so much?" Lucifer asked.
"Angelic family or Dean and Sam? Because if you're asking for angelic, you should know how that feels." Cas says, probably sounding ruder than he meant to. But Lucifer doesn't seem phased, having a bright smile on his face the entire time.
"Dean and Sam, huh? Not 'Sam and Dean'? Ooh, the fans aren't gonna like that..." Lucifer turns and makes an 'Oh no' face to the camera.
"My apologies. Did you mean angelic family or Sam and Dean?"
"Both."
"Well, you know disappointing the angels and Father hurts. Honestly, I'm starting to not care. Perhaps you feel the same in that regard. But disappointing Dean an- Sam and Dean... that hurts much more." Cas frowns.
"Why is that, Castiel?"
"Because they are only humans... and they put their faith in me, a higher being, and I let them down..."
"Over and over and over..." Lucifer says. Cas gives him the squinted eyes expression, angry.
"Uh, anyways..." Adam speaks up. "Cas... um. Nice to see you again. But you do realize that Sam and Dean aren't completely human? I mean, I heard that Dean was a demon!"
"Yes." Cas states simply. "But when they are lost, it is my job to help them find their way."
"Cas." Lucifer butts in. "Are you in love with Dean?"
"In love? I care about him and Sam, yes."
"No, Castiel. IN LOVE. Are you in love with Dean?" Lucifer pushes.
"Well... I..." Cas stammers a bit, then there's the beep.
"I rest my case. That's it! Commercial time! We'll be back after this!"
We see a scene of an older couple having a picnic. Then the man speaks to the camera.
"Did you pick an older vessel? Is your vessel crampy? Joints achy? Muscles stiff? Then Vesscule Relaxant is the medicine for you."
We see the couple get up and start playing Frisbee. Then the woman catches the Frisbee and turns to the camera.
"With Vesscula, I can be twice as active as before, which is wonderful for keeping my vessel healthy and fit." She throws the Frisbee back to the man and a voiceover starts to play.
"Vesscula is not meant for you if your vessel is diabetic or has any heart conditions. Possible side affects are swelling of feet or fingers, back pains, rash, or lightheadedness. Discontinue using if swelling or back pain gets to be immobilizing. Vesscula. A happy vessel means a happy you."
"Hello and welcome back to Hot as Here! Hmm... maybe I need some of that Vesscula. My vessel's getting old!" Lucifer jokes. The studio audience of demons laugh. "Anyways! For our next guest, he's a brother, he's a hider, he loves sweets and messing with people, he loves to pretend he's dead! You guessed it, yes, it's GABRIEL!"
Cut to the short brunette who waves.
"Heyo."
"Hello Gabriel! So... how are things?"
"Goin great Luci, just fabulous. How are things down here?"
"Hah, you're funny. So, I'm sure we're all dying to know... What's your favorite candy?"
Gabriel goes to speak, but Lucifer stops him.
"Nah, I'm just kidding. What we all would love to know... are you alive somewhere?"
"Well, we know that you're the bastard that killed me. No hard feeling, though. You're still my brother and a great big bag of dicks." Gabriel teased.
"But Gabriel... are you alive?"
He just wiggles his eyebrows. We here noise backstage and Cas comes out.
"Answer the question." he says.
"Castiel?" Lucifer seems genuinely surprised.
"Hi Castiel!" Gabriel greets him.
"Answer the question, Gabriel. I wish to know the truth. Have you been hiding away again all this time?" Cas asks.
"Well this was unexpected... Uh Secur-" Cas cuts Lucifer off.
"No. I want an answer. When he was in my head, he wouldn't tell me." Cas eyes Gabriel. "You're on TV now... you have to answer."
"No I don't bro." Gabe grins. Cas glares and stomps offstage.
"Alright then. Another awkward family reunion..." Lucifer mumbles.
"Shut up, Lucifer." Adam growls. He looks at Gabriel. "Fine, if you don't want to answer the question, answer this. If you're dead, how are you here?"
"Well it is Hell. And I am a trickster."
"No, you're an angel. You learned all those tricks from me." Lucifer pokes in.
"Yes, this is true." Gabriel nods.
"So Gabriel, how's the girl?" Lucifer asks.
"Oh, Kali? She and I didn't work out. I got my eye on someone else now."
"Interesting!" The beep comes again. "Oh, and it looks like we are yet again, out of time. Thanks for watching. Join us again next time on Hot as Hell!"
Credits roll.
A.N.: Thanks to the people who gave me the guest ideas for the past two chapters! Keep them coming! And let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! ~12HockeyChick21