Author's note

Hello, here's a new chapter for you. Again, it has taken me too much time to finish this, although at least I can say it's the longest chapter so far. I'll keep trying to update more regularly! The new chapter contains a lot of dialogue but it takes the story a big step further. So please enjoy it.

Lucky Charm

A middle-aged man walks down a street in Hinamizawa in the late afternoon, past rice fields and small houses. He's deeply lost in thought. Sometimes a car or someone on a bicycle passes by, so he should rather watch out than look at the ground in front of him. But he keeps staring down.

That's because he doesn't want people to look at his face. The man is crying.

I don't know why he is crying. But I feel sorry for him. I know grown men normally try to hide their tears, so it must be something much more painful than the little things that children cry about. It seems he's not walking towards his house. Maybe there's someone at home whom he doesn't want to see his tears.

He's carrying something in a briefcase but I don't think he's going to work at this time. His steps are slow, like he's going to face something which he's afraid of. But he won't stop either.

Then something surprises me. A young girl in a light green dress walks up to him cheerfully, without fear of the lonely man's desperate look. He tries to step aside to let her pass by. But it's him she's interested in. So she doesn't want to walk by. She looks at him with a curious smile. It's perfectly clear such an expression conveys the perfect opposite to the mood he's in. But maybe it's just what he needs, so the girl might think. She just smiles at him, until he feels forced to say anything to her - only because he knows he can't get rid of her otherwise.

"Ah it's you ... Rika-chan." What? Yes, it's me ... What's happening? I'm watching myself talking to him, like it's on TV.

The girl - who is me - smiles even more brightly when he admits he knows her. "Hello. It's a beautiful day - still you seem sad to me."

He seems embarrassed. "Well, to be honest, you're right, Rika-chan ... I'm feeling a bit depressed today."

"But why?"

"It's rather private ... You know, adults get sad sometimes because they have problems you children don't know very much about. So you should play and fool around a lot. There will be times when you'll have to face this miserable adult stuff, too ..."

The Rika in front of him frowns. "Mi- ... Please don't treat me like a baby."

He smiles in spite of his grief. "I'm sorry, Rika. Please don't get me wrong. I know you're pretty clever for your age."

"So I might understand what's on your mind."

"Sorry, but I don't think so. It's not just about intelligence, it's about experience. The way you feel for someone you spent a really long time with, and who isn't there anymore ... suddenly."

"I know about that ... Don't you know my parents are dead?"

"Oh, no ... Forgive me, I was being stupid. Of course, you are right. But in my case, it's still different. I was left because that person didn't want me anymore. Thinking you belong to someone ... and that person belongs to you, and then it turns out to be an illusion."

"What is an illusion?"

"You know, you make up something in your mind, and finally you think it's real. But while you think it's real and will stay with you forever, it's falling apart. Or it has never existed in the first place." He sniffs, trying to keep it down because he's ashamed in front of the little girl.

"I don't know if I can understand it completely ... but maybe I know something about this thing called ... illusion. You're sure it's there, you can even see it and talk with it ... and yet others try to talk you out of it. They even get angry. My mother always said I was having such a thing. She even hit me because of that ... of course I was sad when my parents died, but at least I was glad that I wouldn't have to argue with her anymore."

"Rika-chan ... what was this illusion?" He seems to be distracted from his pain for the first time within this conversation. I see honest curiosity on his face. You're good, Rika!

"Oyashiro-sama," the me-girl answers.

"But I'm sure your parents ... didn't think he was just imaginary, did they? The Furudes have worshipped him for ages."

"My parents worshipped Oyashiro-sama. But they didn't know Oyashiro-sama. Old people say Oyashiro-sama punishes and curses you. But I know that's nonsense. They don't listen to me because they WANT someone to go after people and punish them, because they won't admit that they do these things all by themselves." Her voice becomes mature, and the man watches the dark me take over in silent unbelief. He seems to have a hard time figuring out what that me-girl is talking about.

But then something crosses his mind. "I don't know them too well, but ... are you talking about the Hōjō family?"

"Good guess! It's not only them, but ... people make up an angry god who hates traitors to make up an apology for themselves. You ask them why they hate Hōjō Satoko, they say 'Because Oyashiro-sama hates her.' What a pathetic excuse, damn it," Rika curses with a grim stare. "As if a real god would persecute such a funny, lovely person." This is going in the wrong direction. Didn't she want to cheer him up? Now there's a brooding silence between the two of them.

After a while he says something, doubtfully. "Well, Rika-chan ... I guess I'm not the only person in this village who's facing serious problems. I feel a bit guilty now."

"Really?" Rika's face lights up and she turns back into cute mode. "You must not feel guilty about being sad ... it belongs to everyday life, it's just normal. You're sad, and then you go on. It's like walking uphill, which is hard, but once you reach the top of the hill, it will change suddenly, even if you thought you were going to walk uphill forever."

"You're right, but ... I'm not talking about feeling sad, it is something much worse I'm ashamed of."

"Oyashiro-sama forgives you."

"What?" He looks puzzled, almost amused, when Rika speaks as the Miko of the Furude Shrine.

"Oyashiro-sama thinks you will get things right. Just look at other people, who suffered great loss, and still carry on. That's what the deity says. Besides, you still have someone to take care of ... and who will listen to you. Or don't you?"

"Yes, but a few moments ago, I thought I might rather be a burden than a support to her."

"Well, but it seems you're only pitying yourself by thinking such nonsense." Rika winks while scolding him. "But that's also forgiven, and because you might want evidence ... Oyashiro-sama tells me to hand you this, which is a lucky charm, enclosing a good wish from the deity of the Furude Shrine." She reaches into a small bag which she is carrying, and pulls out a little doll ... I hold my breath when I see it. Suddenly I understand, and it feels like my heart is grabbed and squeezed violently.

I watch the scene till the end. His face lightens up, and he thanks the girl, also asking her to say thanks to Oyashiro-sama for him. Then they say goodbye, both looking rather happy. He walks a short distance, then he notices a dustbin at the side of the road. He pulls something out of his pocket and, after some consideration, drops it into the bin. Then he leaves. I try hard to see his face and I think I see a tear of relief on his cheek while he's looking at the little doll Rika gave him, holding it in his right hand. But I'm not really sure.

After he has disappeared, I see the me-girl again, to my surprise. I thought she had walked away in the other direction, but in fact she had watched him secretly. Rika approaches the dustbin and, making sure he isn't around anymore, takes a look at the thing he threw away. Much to my disappointment, I can't see what it is, and I feel frustrated, not for the first time in this world.

As she looks into the distance, where he disappeared, she says a last few words. "Good luck to you ..., Ryūgū."

And the whole scene dissolves into air.

This encounter ... It was just a reminiscence. The dustbin is still there, and when I walked past it, I remembered this small encounter from other worlds. The way I remember it scares me. For this world, in which the common me doesn't exist and I'm only a stranger, affects my perception of the past so that the usual Rika seems a different person already. Someone I can only watch, but I can't assume that role anymore. Moreover, there's a dark spot in my memory. I just can't remember what he threw away. Anyway, it can't be helped for now. My mind finally returns to the reality of this world. I have something to do. Something which will definitely cheer ME up.

However, when I reach my destination, I feel confusion, which is soon followed by fear, and then - despair. Impossible - it should be here! When I came to this spot, I had expected to see a large house with a huge gateway. I wanted to ring the doorbell and talk to the inhabitants - well, one of them, to be more precise.

But it has gone. I only see a field of grass and wild flowers. It's a pretty sight, but that doesn't help me. I shouldn't say "It has gone", by the way. It has never been there.

Memories come back to me. I used to dance here. With Hanyū. She became visible for a little while - and he came here to watch us.

Maebara Ichirō.

I know to him it was the purest and happiest sight imaginable. Maybe that's because he's a painter. I teased him when I saw him looking at us, which must have been very embarrassing for him. But he still enjoyed this joyful and harmonious scene. To him, an artist, a perfect impression is the substance of life itself. And it was life, a new life, that he was looking for at that time. So he decided to settle down here, where he saw this. And with him - came his wife and his son, Keiichi. The insensitive, passionate, eloquent guy who would be a vital support to me now.

But considering all that, it's very obvious. Because this Hinamizawa does not include Rika, she never danced in the field. So it remained unsold. And who knows where Keiichi has gone. It's hopeless. But on the other hand, I still feel curiosity. I never thought that Hinamizawa would work without me. I considered myself the most important person in this village. Because Irie and Takano told me over and over again. If you die ... something terrible will happen. However, things don't seem that terrible. My thoughts go back to Satoko, who must be very happy because my parents take care of her. My father used to protect the Hōjō couple, but they died anyway. So he must be glad too, because he can at least guard their daughter.

Now there's something else I definitely want to check out. What happened to Rena? What about the killings Mion accused her of? I must visit her house. I'm sure her father will open the door and talk to me. Most adults are at work at this time, but as far as I know, he's unemployed. Still brooding over his divorce, he blames himself for his and Rena's fate, instead of thinking about the future. In some worlds, he found encouragement when he met Rina. Wait. Does he have an affair with Rina in this world, too? And did Rena run away because she hates Rina? In that case, Mion's words still don't make sense. It seems she got it all wrong. Or did she speak metaphorically - like Rena "killed" her father and somebody else by running away and destroying their joy of life? It seems very far-fetched.

Here I am. Please be at home. I must remember to add -san to his name because I'm a stranger. Fair enough. I ring the doorbell.

A minute passes - nothing happens. I feel uncomfortable though it probably means that he found a job and leads a better life now. But how can he be happier while his daughter is missing? Maybe he's gone to look for Rena. I decide to walk around the house which isn't right, still curiosity beats caution. Inside, the house looks dark and lifeless. In the back yard there is a path made of paving tiles. They're nothing special but something strange grabs my attention. There are a few dark red marks on the stones. They look like blood. What ... happened here?

I walk around the house and ring a second time. As expected, nothing happens. This silence feels like the atmosphere of a graveyard. Though he might just have gone out, I get this feeling because I barely talked to anyone, compared to my previous lives. While I may look calm on the outside, it feels like my organs are tightening, forming a solid block I can't walk around with. I can't stand this feeling of walking through an empty Hinamizawa. Sure, Satoko and Mion are here, but at least Mion seems to feel empty herself because she lost Rena. And Satoko took in my place ... I try to hold back my dark emotions but the more I get disappointed, the harder it gets to keep them under control.

I don't have a watch on me but I think school must be over soon. So I should get back there and talk to Mion again.

What I really want to know is ... how the treatment of the syndrome goes on in this Hinamizawa. Satoko only survived because I, the queen carrier, gave Irie permission to examine me so many times to develop a cure. As this was not possible here, how did she make it? My short-tempered mother hates the clinic, especially Takano's cold and unfeeling behaviour. I hate Takano, too. That woman who considers Hinamizawa as a huge cage of guinea pigs.

While I look down in frustration, a long red skirt appears bulging before my eyes and I hear a well-known voice. "Ah, it's you again! I didn't know that you still were around."

"Mion-san ..." We keep looking in each other's eyes for a few seconds.

"What about ... Mamiya Rina and Hōjō Teppei?" I ask her shyly.

Mion frowns. "What do you mean, what about them? They're nasty people. You should rather stay away from them."

"Well ... why are they still alive?"

Mion gives me a grim smile. "That's harsh. I don't want to be near them myself, but I don't think they did something to deserve death penalty."

"But you told me ... they were killed, didn't you?" I don't want to mention Rena's name because I upset her earlier by talking about her lost friend.

"No, I never mentioned that." Mion's face becomes enigmatic and slightly menacing.

"I don't understand. Why, then ..." What was this talk about Rena having killed them? What happened to her if she didn't do it and still ended up missing? I feel a slight shiver. Mion seems to be surrounded by a dark atmosphere.

"But Rena ..." I still force myself to ask, but Mion cuts in with a loud voice.

"Stop this. She's gone ... it was too terrible for me to talk about it, do you get it? I'll get very angry if you continue asking."

I look to the ground helplessly which obviously makes Mion regret her unfriendly behaviour. "Well then, Uncle Mion must be going," she continues. "Please don't take it personally, OK? I hope life around here will get back to normal soon." She waves her hand and walks away. I feel disappointed, but I think asking her further question would do no good. After thinking for a short time, I decide to go back to the school. Maybe there are others who can tell me what really happened.

At the school gate, I see a few children from the distance. When I look closer, I recognize Satoko, Tomita and Okamura. I stop at the gate. Why am I afraid to talk to them? That's Satoko, my best friend ... Then I notice that she has seen me too. At first, my mind refuses to accept her facial expression when she looks at me. I see scorn and contempt. It doesn't take too much imagination to find out what she is telling her friends at this moment. And suddenly the memory of our strange encounter at my parents' house comes back. At first, I was so happy to see Satoko here ... but that was a feeling of my former worlds. I should not feel happy to see the Satoko of this world ... but then, will there be something left to be happy about? My throat feels tight and I have to swallow hard.

Then, all of a sudden, the three kids start to approach me. They're walking straightly towards the school gate. Should I run away? No, I have to collect my wits and face this situation. Satoko gives me a vicious smile.

"Nice to see you again, trespassing girl. If you had only stayed longer, then we would have been able to get to know each other." Her refined and, at the same time, malicious way of talking gives me the creeps. This is not the Satoko I know. She talks politely but doesn't hide her disdain at all.

"I'm sorry for entering your house, mi-" ... What a poor act. My childish self must no longer seem cute, but only pathetic. I see the two boys grin behind her back. Okamura used to have a crush on me in the former worlds, but now he looks at me as if I was not even worthy to be looked at.

"Well, I guess you had some reason to do that, didn't you?" Satoko seems to enjoy the situation to the fullest. While I try to stop myself grinding my teeth in frustration, she waits for my answer.

"Sorry ... I only wanted to talk to you ..."

"Oh, really? At that time? Well, but in the end you didn't say anything at all, I'm afraid."

"Yes, because your ... mom came in."

"You don't need to be afraid of her, she's usually very kind. But she told me you said weird stuff to her before, so she got angry."

"I'm sorry about that, really. I must have been a little confused yesterday." I force myself to lower my head in shame. Doing this, I might not regain our real friendship, but I want her to treat me normally at least.

Satoko is still grinning derisively. "So what did you want to ask me?"

"I ... wanted to know if you have heard anything about Rena."

Satoko's grin freezes. "Why do you have to ask ME about that person?"

"But ... you're one of her friends, aren't you? At least you used to be ..."

While I ask her, I see Tomita nudging Okamura. "I'm sorry, we have to go," Tomita says with an uncomfortable expression. "See you tomorrow, Satoko." He doesn't say anything to me. When I look back to Satoko, she seems to have calmed down.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know her too well. She was together with Mion for the most time."

"But ... what happened?"

"I can't believe this!" Suddenly I hear a stern voice behind me. It's ... Chie-sensei. Obviously Mion made a phone call to Chie, about a girl who is walking around asking questions which are forbidden in Hinamizawa. I turn around and give the teacher a grim look. As always, she has the best intentions. But that doesn't help me at all.

"Please leave them alone now. Mion told you already that we don't talk about that."

This is too stupid. They don't talk about Rena because they're obsessed with the idea that Hinamizawa is an ideal village without any evil ... so when something bad happened, they just fall silent and pretend things are still fine. But they only make the situation worse. Suddenly I realize I must leave before Chie asks me too many questions. If she finds out about my desperate situation, she might call the police and make them take me away from Hinamizawa.

"Okay, sorry." With a fake apology, I leave the school premises while Chie looks after me. Damn, I hope she won't follow me. But when I look back, she's busy talking to Satoko. "You fools", I mumble to myself.

"Hey, you!" Someone calls me lowly. In surprise, I turn my head and see Okamura. He stands near the road with a red face.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Sorry. I'm Okamura Suguru, pleased to meet you."

"I'm Rika."

Puzzled about my unfriendly attitude, he starts stammering. "You want to know about Ryūgū Rena-san, don't you?"

"Yes! Do you know something about what happened?"

"Well, my parents are very strict. They didn't let me watch the news when that had happened. I think Chie-sensei had called them and told them not to talk to the children."

"Oh my. Then, what do you know? Please tell me."

"I once ... listened to her talking to Sonozaki-san. It was a few days before she disappeared. She said something like ... 'I'll never forgive that woman and her lover. They ruined my dad's life.' She repeated things like this. I didn't really hear more. But ... a few days later, a friend of mine said she had killed people. I can't imagine that at all. But maybe she really killed that woman and her lover, as she had called them."

Damn, that definitely sounds like Rina and Teppei. But they're alive and well ...! My head is about to burst. Okamura still has a red face. He definitely likes me, though pretending to despise me as Satoko did. I can't help smiling at him.

"Thank you for telling me, Okamura-kun. Will you come for a walk with me?"

"No, I can't. My parents must be waiting for me ... and Satoko said ... well, it's not important. Goodbye then."

"Just a moment. What did she say?"

"Nothing! Please forget it."

I walk up to him and try to look charming, even though I'm in a really bad mood. "Please, what did Satoko say? I really have to know."

With a lump in his throat, Okamura answers hesitatingly. "She said we shouldn't talk to you too much because you're a ... stranger."

By the way he speaks, I think she definitely used a worse expression when talking about me. My face must be really frightening now because I feel the purest anger when I hear that Satoko is spreading bad rumors about me.

"I think I heard enough ... Just leave if you want to." I turn my back on Okamura, who says "Goodbye" in a miserable voice and then runs towards his home.

My thoughts spin around Satoko in a painful way which makes me want to forget about it all. But I can't. If I meet her again - should I pretend she's the real Satoko I used to know, with her true personality beneath a layer of unfriendliness which will melt like snow when we talk it over? Or is she really that cold on the inside?

While brooding about that, I suddenly realise that I have something much more important to consider now. Where can I sleep tonight? Another night in a place like the bus stop would kill me. I still feel the pain from resting there for too long. It seems impossible to stay somewhere in Hinamizawa. The villagers are friendly people, but I'm not the precious Rika from the former worlds anymore. If I told them about myself, they would most likely call the police or the child consultation centre and I would be abducted to some horrible place in the city.

But ... there are places where I can go to without being detected. Yagōchi and Takatsudo. The two villages were completely abandoned during the dam war. While Yagōchi is a ghost village without anyone in it, Takatsudo is frequently visited by villagers who own fields in the mountains. The thing about Yagōchi is that something evil lingers there ... once a boy went there to play and his father came to look for him. Both were found dead. Allegedly they died in a car accident, but there are many unanswered questions about their deaths. I shouldn't go there. I should hide in Takatsudo.

But first, I have to visit a shop and ... steal a few things. Luckily I know a nice grocer's shop. The owner is quite old and tends to fall asleep sometimes. While I walk through the streets, I get sad because I don't want to leave Hinamizawa, even if it's only for a short distance. However, it shouldn't do any harm to the villagers if I sleep in Takatsudo. I can still come here during daytime.

Ah, there's the shop ... I'm going to do something forbidden now. Damn, there's a customer! Maybe I could steal something while she's paying ... I don't have a bag so I pull one out of a dustbin near the shop ... ugh, it smells a bit. The customer is leaving. I should consider that as some sort of club game. Alas, the others are not watching.

"Ouch ... ugh ... sob ..." I fall down theatrically right outside the shop so the owner sees it. It's a difficult job because I must make sure my knee starts bleeding. My strategy works better than I wanted. I grazed my knee and it is hurting badly.

"Ow ..."

The owner comes running out. "Oh dear ... what happened to you?"

In tears, I point at my knee. "Miii- ... It's not that bad. But I need an adhesive plaster. Ouch, I can't stand up ..."

The owner helps me stand up and takes me to a chair inside her shop. "I've got one here! Just a moment." This is not what I wanted her to do. She comes back with the plaster but I pull a sad face.

"My mom says I shouldn't use these plasters because I could get ... algeric raction on my skin. Sorry, could you get me one from the chemist's? I'll pay for it later on."

"No way! I'll buy you that. Just wait here and keep an eye on my shop, will you? Poor girl ..." She walks away. When she's gone, I stand up and fill my dirty bag with various comestibles. Then I get out of the shop and hide it behind the dustbin. It takes a while until the owner comes back. She asks me if the plaster is all right and attaches it to my knee.

"Thank you so much, ni-paa ..." I give her a bright smile and try to stand up. "Oh, it's not that bad ... Thanks, I think I can walk with this." I must make sure she stays inside her shop, so I shouldn't look helpless anymore. She still takes me to the door and bids me farewell exaggeratedly. I go away, hide behind a corner, then come back when I'm sure she doesn't see me, to get the bag from behind the dustbin.

It has gone ... What? I stare at the empty space in shock.

"Are you looking for this?" A mean voice sounds behind my back. I turn around and look into Satoko's perfidious eyes. She holds my bag full of groceries while my stomach is growling. Luckily the shop owner can't see us.

"Give it back." She lets me pull the bag for a few moments, then lets go of it with a self-contented smile.

"All right, I don't want to be caught with stolen goods after all."

"Why are you spying on me?" I glare at Satoko.

"This proves it was right to watch you, right? I should tell my mom about it. Maybe you even stole something from the shrine."

"I know she isn't your mom." I can't stand her bossy attitude, so I looked for a weak spot in her remarks.

Satoko gets a little pale. "That's none of your business."

"And it's none of your business how I find something to eat."

Satoko frowns. "Well, you just committed a crime."

I start to walk away from her. "Then go and tell everybody." I ask myself what Satoko is up to. Is she just curious or has my mother told her to watch me? Or was it Mion, or Chie? I aroused a lot of suspicion since yesterday.

"Don't think you can do what you want in Hinamizawa!" Satoko follows me with a grumpy face, then she seems not to know what to say anymore. I leave her behind without looking back.

But that doesn't mean my heart isn't breaking.

I don't know what to say anyway. But even if I knew something, the lump in my throat would make it difficult. Why must Satoko be my enemy in this world?

Pondering over this sad question, I walk to Takatsudo which isn't a short walk, specially for a little girl with a wounded knee and a heavy carry bag. It feels like having been defeated and going into exile. So when I arrive in the sad ghost village, I'm out of breath. Without concentration I gaze at the cabins and wooden houses. At last I sit down on the stump of a chopped down tree. There's something strange in the air. Somehow the village is not as dead as I imagined ... Though I can't tell what makes me think so. I must look for a cabin or a small house where I can rest. So I walk past a few of these. It must be somewhere near here that Inugai Toshiki was found, the Minister of Construction's grandson ... at least they won't come for me because no-one should miss me.

Ah, this cabin looks nice. No, it doesn't. What made me think so? It's a certain ... warmth. I don't understand but somehow I feel attracted to this. Well, why don't I give it a try? My hand aches from carrying the bag for so long. I open the door very carefully. The room is empty. I feel puzzled because it's the only room and it looks much smaller on the inside than I expected. On the opposite side there's a large cupboard. Good, I can use that to store the groceries. Damn, will I have to steal on a regular basis from now on? I turn around and look at the closed door. The room is really smaller than I expected.

Tap ... Tap ...

Impossible. My heart freezes when I hear footsteps inside this empty room. Where do they come from? Is this you, Hanyū? Sometimes even others can hear "Oyashiro-samas footsteps" ... but my instinct says this isn't Hanyū but something dangerous. I don't have the guts to turn around, while it comes near and ... starts to speak with a voice which I know but didn't expect to hear. A voice which sounds very coarse but is still recognizable ...

"Hello there ... I wasn't expecting any company. Don't turn around, don't move, haooo ..."

While listening, I feel the cold and sharp edge of a blade pressed against my throat.