A year after Lon'qu's arrival at Regna Ferox, something changes.
He begins having nightmares, reliving that fateful night on Heron Hill.
Some nights he wakes up and finds that he's clenched his fists so hard that his palms have little bloody half-crescent indents in them from where his nails have pierced the skin.
Some nights he wakes up drenched in sweat and shouting for mercy, but without any memory of his dream.
Some nights he remembers every second of it, in crystal-clear detail.
He likes the days when he can remember his dreams. They remind him that he can't forget her, can't let the memory of her slip into oblivion, for the only place she still exists now is in his mind.
One day, he accidentally brushes past one of Flavia's other recruits. She gasps in surprise, and suddenly, she has Ke'ri's face, and instead of surprise, she's gasping in pain as she slides down to the ground, the hilt of a wicked dagger sticking out of her chest. He wants to move towards her, to help her, but he finds himself immobilized by fear.
The moment passes, and he finds the recruit staring at him, confusion and panic embedded onto her features. "Lon'qu…" she trails off hesitantly. "…are you alright?"
He shakes his head violently, trying to clear it of thoughts. She reaches towards him in concern, and he flees.
Alone in his room, he clutches his knees to his chest as the scene replays over and over in his head. He doesn't deserve to be happy. He failed her, and he must never forget it.
In the coming weeks, his condition worsens.
He sees her shadow everywhere now.
In the delicate fingers of a recruit gripping the handle of a blade, in the rosy-lipped smile of a serving maid, even in the feminine slender limbs of Khan Flavia. All serve to send him into the same panicked state – a creeping sense of doom, chills running up his spine, nerveless fingers incapable of action. Soon after, even the very voices of her gender send him into a cold sweat, and very quickly, life at East-Khan's fortress becomes unbearable.
Flavia senses Lon'qu's discomfort, though she knows not the reason for his terror. And sometimes, she rationalizes, sometimes, the past is best left undisturbed.
The majority of her recruits are women, and she knows that she cannot send all of them away on account of the irrational fears of a single boy. But it is with a heavy heart that Khan Flavia sends Lon'qu to the West with a single letter addressed to Basilio.
Basilio is a good man, she thinks to herself, and he has always longed for a protégé. Perhaps he will find one in the broken young man from Chon'sin.
A/N: Sorry for the late update, and happy new year everyone!