This is part is amusing. I tend to like Mac's descriptions of things. Heheh. Sven and Helga are a MAJOR inside joke which, I don't even remember how it started, but a friend of mine and I always talk about getting a massage by Sven the Sexy Swede.

Lily's, the Salon/Spa was made up as well. Why Lily's? Two reasons, Lillie (diff spelling, but you get the idea) is the name of one of my fav vampire characters "Lillie Langtry" from Kindred: The Embraced. In the show she had a cool, high classed night club called "The Haven" and her lover would call it "Lillie's Haven" always thought it would be a cool name for something. Second reason, it's the name of an instrumental track which I used to play on guitar all the time called "Lily Was Here" – It's that track where a saxophone and a guitar mimic eachother.

Anyway… so, yea. Not sure what's coming after this part, they might end up in the supply room closet again, by mistake. ;) You know the General would LOVE that. ;)

Enjoy!

Jackie

Thanks to: e-dog, Macaroon, BeachChick, Dessler, dansingwolf, Maria, blueangel, Vrbinka, BiteBeccy, SarahRabb, my.evian, anna, Jaggie107, snugglebug, Manda, Lisa, cbw, Xblue, froggy, aserene, crazybum, VrbinkaCZE, sally, trooper, starryeyes, Martini, NavyBabe, jaggurl, Nix, joanoa, jagdreamer, Kinga, JAGChic, Jagfan 724, littlemaccyd, ninjaturtle, blueangel, Kinga, JK, zoomie, myevian, CathyF, CBW, jagdreamer, joanoa, alix33, arian, Lurkz, LiseGirardi, Beach chickJASSNL, Tracy, Lisa, roz, Peggy, Elizabeth Ayers, Disaster Child, trooper, LtCmdrFlygirl, Roz, Peggy, KJFlygirl, Roxie, ltcolonelnijgagrl, hellen, Jill, Kyizi, Broesel, blueangel, Rocket Rain, and mizukimar for the feedback :)

Part 20 – Helga, Humberto and Sven

It's amusing what men will do in order to appease their significant others. As I lay here, getting a shiatsu massage by my sexy Swedish masseuse, Sven, I can hear Harm groaning over by the table next to me. Mattie, who is laying on the table on the other side, is muffling her chuckles against the vinyl material on the table. "Ow!" I hear Harm yelp, followed by a muffled curse and his attempt at a joke. "I think you popped my kidney there, ma'am." Course, you know the only reason why he is here with us is because he took one look at Sven and Harm's little green monster reared it's ugly head.

One hour earlier we stepped into Lilly's, a one stop shop that is both a hair salon and spa, which had opened up just a few weeks prior. I normally don't do this often, pampering is a costly affair, but, having Mattie around, I figured it would be a good time to bond. We arrived at Lilly's and were soon whisked off towards the hair salon, apparently, the full day treatment starts with getting your locks cut and then they finish off the end of the day back at the salon for the styling. "You know, it's not that bad, Mac." Harm said, playfully slapping down the front of my USMC baseball cap. Him and Mattie chuckled conspiringly exchanging these looks of amusement. Uh huh, just swell. I tried, several times to get rid of him, but he just decided to stick around and add more to my embarrassment.

"Uh, yea it is."

"Mees MahKhenzee." I glanced up from where we were sitting and spot, what had to be, the most flamboyant man I'd ever seen in my life. He was wearing a barrette on his head and was dressed as if he just got off the plane and had come from Miami during one of their Latin music extravaganzas. The shirt he was wearing seemed as if someone had raided Ricky Ricardo's closet. Some of his chest hair poked through the opened shirt where this rather large, Cuban flag charm lay dangling from its gold chain. The pants, were parachute ones, similar to the once MC Hammer used to dawn. To compliment the ensemble, he was also wearing pink ballerina shoes. To say I was horrified was an understatement. THIS was going to work on my hair! "Halo, mhy name ees Humberto." He took my hand and kissed the back of it, then placed a hand around my waist and whisked me off towards one of those haircutting chairs. You know? The types that has that pneumatic pump thingy that makes you feel like, at any moment, they are going to pump that up too hard and send you flying?

I turned back slightly to find both Harm and Mattie with a pair of confused expressions on their faces. You'd figured one of them would have rescued me? So much for having a big, strong man! "Ohkay, when joo made dee appointmen dis morning joo sead joo had an assident?" His accent wasn't the easiest thing in the world to work with. I am normally good with accents but Humberto, who pronounced his name in English with a heavy 'H' and rolling 'R's, was leaving me baffled. "Jes? Ees dis troo?"

"Um." I know I probably looked like a fish when it's out of water and its mouth starts to do that gaping thing. "Yea, I guess." Not one second later, he tosses off the cap, flinging it across the room like a Frisbee. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror and cringe. Damn Harm and his zipper. My hair was even at all, in any place, save for my bangs. I am not sure if Harm missed, or if THAT much of my hair was caught, but it looked as if my hair had been caught in a paper shredder.

"Mmmm." Keeping an eye on Humberto, I try, as much as possible, to relax. I kept telling myself that if he was working at a place like this, he had to be good right? "Ohkay! I tink I got it!" Okay, well, that I did understand. With a satisfied grin, Humberto whipped out this blade, not scissors. Right around that time, my six was half out of the chair. "Don't werry Mees Mahkensee! Joo lav it!" And before I had a chance to bolt, Tamara, Humberto's assistant starts to "prepare" me.

During the whole "preparation" process, which was basically Tamara putting that gown thingy on, mixing something for highlights and clipping up chunks of what was left of my hair, I kept an eye on Harm through the mirrors. From my vantage point, I knew he really couldn't see me. I was a cute sight, from time to time, he would try to read one of the magazines and peer over the top to see what was going on with me. Often, like when Tamara was preparing me, he would get this silly, cute expression between horror and interest. Eventually, he did spot me looking at him and just smiled brightly, something that calmed me immensely.

I wasn't allowed to see Humberto's creation and though that worried me, I reveled in the fact that I outranked most of the people at JAG ops and could, if needed, order them not to let me know how much my hair sucked. Humberto tried to explain his technique, which was, basically, hacking off pieces of hair with a blade, similar to the ones used at barber shops.

Once the chopping and coloring of my hair was done, Chuck, the receptionist, came over to introduce me to Sven, the sexy Swede that was to do my massaging for an hour. The moment the Swede came up to greet me, I feel this tall thing at my side. It was Harm. "Mac, Chuck said he was ready for you and Mattie now." Harm had tried to coax Mattie into getting a hair make over, but she, politely declined. Mattie has beautiful hair and if I had her locks, I'd be heading for the hills myself!

Sven ogled me respectively then turned to Harm. "Ah, two beautiful women, must be my lucky day." He said in a voice that I could only describe as – sexy. Accents have always been a turn on for me, which is amusing, other than Mic, I've never dated a guy with a foreign accent. Now, yes, I do have Harm and he is the epitome of what is sexy, but a girl can look, can't she?

Harm glared at Sven while Mattie was just as smitten as a teen could be, she giggled slightly and I could already imagine Harm loading up his service weapon to keep the boys away. "Well, hey there, pal. . .Do you have room for one more?"

My jaw hit the floor the moment I heard Harm ask that. And Sven, being as accommodating as possible, said that there was a large room, reserved for larger groups of people who came in to pamper together. It was available and we'd be allowed to use it. "Just follow me, you'll need to get changed." He led us to this beautiful locker room. The walls were all white, there was this teak bench and the lockers all had this removable plate with our names on them. Harm was escorted, by Sven, to the gentleman's section. I later found out it wasn't as swanky as ours. Mattie and I both slipped into separate changing rooms, each coming out with shiatsu sandals and this big, fluffy, off-white robe. Which, I swear, if it's for sale, it's coming with me, sandals too!

The moment we meet Harm outside of the changing rooms, I find that any sexy notions I had about Sven fly out the window. There's nothing more sexy than a man standing in just a bathrobe and Harm. . .can we say grrrrrr? No doubt, he probably has those pristine, white boxers underneath, but still. The man is a fine specimen of the male race.

Sven, then led us to the massage room, one with large, potted plants, smooth music and a section in a corner that had all sorts of fruits, breads, cheeses, wines, coffees and fruit juices. The thought to never leave there again did pass through my mind several times. We were told to 'make ourselves at home' and we did just that, munching on some of the food until Sven's partner, Helga came to get us started on the massages. Now, when I hear the word Helga, I normally envision a rather large woman, of German decent, with a mean ass temper. This Helga, doesn't fit that bill at all. Nope, she is a rail thin, blond haired, blue eyed Goddess who was probably put on Earth to be a temptation for men.

Now it was my turn for the ugly green monster to come out. Helga, of course, is all swooning over Harm's charms. And I swear to God, the man is just plane old oblivious to women throwing themselves at him. "You can call me Harm." I heard him tell the woman, who was calling him 'Mr. Rabb.'

It was stupid. Petty even, but, hey, I am only human. "You can call me, Mac." I told Sven and two seconds later Harm and I are in a staring match.

Though we'd like to think that teens are sometimes oblivious, Mattie is anything but. "You two, cut it out. . .you're together, remember? Which means, look but don't touch." At mine and Harm's look of shock, she chuckled and went off to be massaged by Sven.

We sat in chairs by the food, both of us keeping an eye on Sven and Mattie as they went through her treatment. I could tell Harm wasn't happy about a guy placing a hand on his daughter, but Sven did a good job of keeping it professional. It might have been the dirty looks we shot him. Hehehe.

"Ok, Harm. . .your turn and Sven will start on Mac as soon as he is done." She told him how to lay down on the bed, then did this quick movement to place a towel over his six.

Harm nearly came off of the table. "What the hell!" Modestly, he tugged the towel up which, in the end, just ended up showing some of those boxers he was wearing. "Careful there."

She chuckled, readjusted the towel and playfully patted him on the back. "Easy there. . . Just relax, you are going to love this."

That leads us to the present. "Helga, can you. . .OW!" That rail thin thing over there is killing Harm. Well, not killing him, but I've massaged him enough to know about the knots in his back. They are hell to get out and Helga is intent on cranking all of those puppies out today. "Oooh. . .yea. . . RIGHT THERE." And, apparently, she IS good.

After the massage treatments, Mattie, Harm and I get changed into these big fluffy towels and escorted into the eucalyptus room. This place is Heaven and if Mattie weren't around, I could see Harm and I getting a bit frisky. It's basically a steam room, but the vapors that come out are not all that steamy, instead, it's eucalyptus which, I hear, is fabulous for the skin. "This is great! Thanks guys!" I hear Mattie say with a soothed, happy voice. Harm and I look at each other and grin.

Through the rest of the day, we did several other treatments, reflexology, facials, mud wraps and another massage before I was taken back to Humberto. "Jes! Joo look berry whell!" Taking off the towel that was wrapped around my head – one that I tried to remove, but, I swear, they must have super glued on – he lets, what's left of my hair, drop down. All of this he does without letting me face the mirror, which starts to make me a tad bit nervous again. With his trusty hairdryer and brush, Humberto fluffs, tucks, teases and rolls. Five minutes later, I am spun around to face the mirror. I have to admit, the man did an excellent job. My hair is much, much shorter than it was, then again, Harm did have to cut out a huge chunk of it. But, it's bouncy, cute and, best of all, will work with my cover. It's now about jaw length all the way around and has these subtle, lighter brown areas that give it a really pretty color.

"Wow, thank you Humberto."

I hop off of the chair and fish through my jeans for his tip. As I am giving him the money, he leans in and grins. "See, you have to learn to trust. . . Not everything is as it appears." His Cuban accent is suddenly gone and he winks at me as he lets me on my way. I chuckle slightly and thank him again.

"You ready, Marine?" Harm says, pulling me and Mattie close to him as he hugs what, he know calls, his 'girls.'

I nod and head out, happily with my boyfriend and his daughter. I catch a few guys on the street admiring me and Harm just pulls me closer. I know I should be annoyed at him openly staking his claim, but, I have to admit, it's nice to have someone like him around. It makes life that much more fun.