Okay, this actually happened to me! Not with the huffing and puffing, but I had my line mixed up with someone else's it was weird. You'll see what I mean. ;)

Enjoy!

Jackie

Part 25 – Crazy Connection

I sigh deeply as I roll my car to the drive thru window of Mac's favorite restaurant. I am late by more than an hour and know that the only way my beautiful Marine will not kill me is by bringing her food. Beltway Burgers always has a line half a mile long and since this is Friday, the line has doubled in size. "Well this just sucks." I say with a huff and flip on the radio to find a familiar song playing. "When I get this feeling, I want sexual healin'." Umm. Quite the song and Marvin Gaye is the master!

The music reminds me of last weekend and a little book called the Kama Sutra that Mac and I were glancing through. We bought it on a whim, after going to the bookstore and finding it in the clearance section. And it isn't one of those modern books with modern pictures. No way. It's the one with the ancient hand paintings and very few words. "I can't do that!" I remember Mac saying with a blush as she tried to force me to turn the page away from a very awkward position.

"No no no. . .wait a second." Glancing at the picture, I grabbed one of her legs attempting to place it on my lap, but she just slapped my hand away, erupting in a fit of giggles. "What?"

She glanced at me with an exasperated look. "Oh nothing, just that I'd have to be a contortionist to do that!" Mac flips a page over and starts chuckling, her face turning even redder. "This would hurt your knees."

I glanced at the picture, noticing she was quite right about that. The position had the man on the bottom, woman on the top with her back to him while he arch's his back to raise them both off of the bed, ground, whatnot. "How is that supposed to be pleasurable?"

Turning to Mac I found a wicked grin on her lips as her index finger points out a picture. "Now, this one we've done once or twice."

I followed her finger on the page and this time it was my turn to blush. "Uh yea, we do that one well, actually."

"Welcome to Beltway Burgers, how may I help you?" I hear the familiar tone of what has to be an overly perky, teen who is probably on either the cheerleading or spirit squad.

"Good evening, let me have a double Lincoln burger with cheese, no pickles, no lettuce, with extra special sauce, large fries and a large diet sprite." I scoff at the diet sprite, which I really don't get. Mac stuffs herself full of dead animal and fried foods, but then orders a diet drink which is actually more unhealthy than the burgers. I mean, aspartame is just PURE poison. If it's allowed to heat too much it converts to something along the lines of formaldehyde. Or so I read once.

"Anything else?" I glance around the menu again, noting they have a new selection of salads that do seem rather edible, along with this fruit and nuts thingy. I order both, get a regular soda for myself and am soon sitting in the line, which is still at a standstill.

While I wait, I decide to call Mac and make sure she won't kick me out of her place when I arrive. "'kenzie." I hear her answer, her voice sounding as if she's been exhorting herself. "Mmmmm. . .yea, RIGHT THERE!"

For a moment, I am slightly taken back with her exuberance. Removing the phone from my ear, I stare at it dumbly for a moment, then bring it back. "Uh, Mac?"

"Hey, you're late, flyboy." She admonishes and I am about to retort when I hear a male voice distinctly say "Come back to bed, baby."

"Who the hell is there?" I demand and feel a lick of anger start to bubble. It's probably unfounded I mean, I know Mac wouldn't cheat on me. I know it. But, when a woman answers the phone and you hear a man. . .Oh, God! The guy is moaning now. . .so is she! "Mac! What the hell! Who the hell! How could you!" I am losing it now, in fact, the woman in the Nissan in front of me has her head out the window wondering what is going on.

As an answer I get both female and male voices in the throes of passion. "Oooh God. . .yes!"

"Mac!" No no no, this isn't happening to me!

"What the hell was that?" I hear her voice say over the line, she seems to be just as surprised as I am. "Oooh yea, right there, baby. . .YES!" I hear her groan distastefully after that comment. "Harm? What the hell are you doing?"

"ME!" I yell back, tossing the money at the perky sales girl and grabbing my bags of food and then the drinks. "I called you. . .And find some guy huffing and puffing over there!"

"What!" You know, the way she is yelling back at me, makes me think that she's not doing anything wrong. "Look Rabb, I don't know what you're playing at, but I am alone. Waiting for you." As she is yelling at me, I hear the moans growing louder over the line, drowning out anything else she plans on telling me.

In fact, the sounds have gotten so intense, I have to yell over the line to be heard. "Then what the hell is that?"

"Well it's not. . ." Mac begins to say, but a rather loud, staccato, female, banshee type of voice cuts her off followed by a slew of profanities. "Now you see it's not me! I don't say that when we're. . .we're. . ."

"When we're what, Mac?" I chuckle into the phone feeling, for the first time since the conversation started, a bit of levity. Hey, I know I might have been a bit. . .umm worried. Okay, A LOT worried. But, when you call your girlfriend and hear moaning and groaning over the line, you would worry too.

Mac sighs into the phone, it's this soft, sexy sigh that makes my heart flutter. "Making love. . .Where are you anyway? I mean you were supposed. . ." I am not entirely sure why it's getting worse over the line. Maybe it's just them or. . .I haven't a clue, "Jesus, RENT A ROOM." She yells over the moans. "Harm? Are you there?"

"Yes, I am on the way over with food. Beltway Burgers."

"What?"

"BELTWAY BURGERS."

"What about them?"

"I bought some. . .OH, never mind. . .I AM ON THE WAY OVER WITH FOOD." I bellow out

Getting my car going again, I race through the streets of Georgetown, curious to figure out where it's coming from. "Can you figure out who that is?"

"I am not so sure I want to KNOW who THAT is!" She yells with a tone of exasperation in her voice. "Maybe the line's are crossed? You know? Like some mixed up connection?"

"That's one crazy connection." I say which a chuckle as the moans become increasingly loud. "Jeez. We don't sound like that do we?" Suddenly, I feel self conscious as to who might be listening when Mac and I get into our. . .umm. . .groove.

Mac chuckles over the line. "We probably do. . .Harm? Wait one, I have another call." The moment she clicks over, the moans and groans vanish and I have nothing but a nice, quiet line.

I arrive at her building, jump out of the car, with food, and head inside. Using my key, I let myself in and find my girl on the phone. "Hey baby!" I yell, coming up behind her, trying to place a kiss on her neck. The moment I try to kiss her, Mac swats me away, whacking me on the nose. "Oww! Hey, Mac! What was that for?"

"Yes, sir." She grinds out, glaring at me with a look that would kill. "I understand, General. . .No, sir. ..Yes. . . Of course. No, sir, the Commander and I keep our private life to ourselves. . .Yes, I will call the phone company immediately. . .Thank you. . . Have a good evening sir."

I imagine that was Cresswell on the line and if that huffing and puffing was still going on. . .Yep, that would explain why Mac's face is two shades of red. "Ooops."

"Ooops is right!" She yells, tossing the cordless onto the sofa. "Do you have any idea how EMBARASSING it is to have your CO call you and hear. . .that!" She points at the phone with disgust and settles herself onto the arm of the sofa. "God, they've said things I didn't even know existed."

"Now who's the prude, Mac?" I grin smugly at her and I swear, she's about to kill me until I wave the bag from Beltway in front of her. "Dinner first, kill me later."

As much as she's TRYING to keep that pissed off look, the food is swaying her, I can tell. "Alright, Commander, but you didn't kiss me when you walked in."

I stare at her for a moment. "Uh, you whacked me when I tried."

"Well then." She presses her body up against mine, stands on her tippy toes and gives me this long, passionate kiss. I feel her hand moving down my arm and that's when she steals the beltway bag away from me. "Mac!" I groan out as she moves away giggling. "You're terrible, Marine."

"Someone's gotta be."

I watch her sway with the bag of food almost like a little girl that has just received a present she really, really wanted. For a moment, I feel guilty at thinking she would have been cheating on me. What kind of a fool was I? "Hey, I'm. . .s-sorry for um. . .you know. . .the call, thinking that some. . .guy was here." I take off my jacket, set it on the back of a chair then slide into the seat next to hers. "It was stupid of me. . .I mean, I trust you. . .you know I trust you right?" God I hope she does.

Mac munches on a French fry while she attempts to pry my salads out of the bag. "I trust you."

"And you're not mad?" I find myself asking, wishing I would just keep my trap shut and leave things as they were, peaceful.

Thoughtfully, she chews on another fry, then glances at me. I feel my throat suddenly dry as sandpaper. "Nope. . I mean, for a moment there I thought YOU had a girl with you." We chuckle at the absurdity of it all. "Besides, you wouldn't cheat on me. .. I'd kill you, you know that." She says that with a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous grin. However, it does not remove the seriousness from her comment. And I know, for a fact, that she would probably bend me into a pretzel. Actually, that's kind of kinky. "What?" She asks as I figure that I am staring at her with a silly expression.

"Oh nothing, I was just thinking that if I ticked you off too much you'd bend me into a pretzel. . ."

"Which you find kinky?" Damn, this woman knows me too well. Reaching across the table she places a hand over mine, her thumb running slowly circles over my skin. "Let's finish dinner and we'll find out shall we?"

"Uh. . .s-sure." I gulp down some soda and find myself, completely flustered. Thank God for weekends!