PART 35 – The Pet Psychic

"Oh my God!" I hear a very loud, very feminine squeal coming out of my bedroom. Worried, I cast a look towards the general vicinity and that's when I remember. The Ring. No, not the movie, but THE RING. Mac's engagement ring! I was staring at it until late last night and forgot to put it away. Damnit!

Quickly, I head out of the kitchen and literally leap up the two steps to my room. "Uh, it's not what you think." Right, the ring is really for me and I like frilly little things. I snort. "I mean. . .Well, maybe it is what you think." She throws herself at me, giving this savage hug which nearly topples us into the louvered windows. "Woah, I guess you're happy?"

When I finally set her down, Mattie has a grin that goes from ear to ear and is nodding like some deranged bubblehead doll. "Oh, God. . .Harm! This is great!" Three. Two. One. "When are you going to ask her?"

Mattie's holding the box so carefully it's almost as if she were holding a porcelain doll. Wow, chics really are into this whole wedding thing and from such a young age. Guys? Marriage? Uh, no, not really. Alright, so I've had my romantic or romant-ICK – fantasies about Mac and Marriage and the two point whatever kids – I never understood that, how can you have point whatever kids? – anyway – I have, but, to be honest, I don't like dream about it. I sigh. Alright, I do. "I'm not sure, Mats."

I take the box from Mattie and sit on the end of the bed as I stare at it for the umpteenth time. It's a gorgeous ring and – I think – so Mac. But, what if I'm wrong, what if this is. . .just this. "What do you mean, you're not sure?"

I shrug hating that Mattie and I have had some of the most in depth conversations ever and I can't seem to speak without sounding like a moron in front of my best friend – the woman I love. "What if. . .What if it doesn't work out? What if I'm not the one for her and. . .Ugh. . ."

Mattie places a hand on my back and starts to run circles. God, I feel like such a kid again and I don't mean that in the good sense. "Harm, that's part of the fun. . .Being unsure. Trust me, she'll say yes."

"And you know that how?"

She shrugs. "A woman knows these things." A conspiring grin spreads across her lips and suddenly, really, I am worried. She's going to try to ask Mac for me. "You know. . ."

"No."

"But."

"Nooo."

"Harm, I mean if I just. . ."

"Nooooo."

"I could find. . ."

"Mattie? Harm?" ACK! It's Mac! Quickly I shove the box down my jean pocket and stand up as she makes it up the steps to my bedroom. Damn, shouldn't have given her the key. Standing next to her, in all of his cockiness is Assassin. "Why do you two look like the cat that ate the canary?"

Because we did? "Hey babe." I say, then move over to her, giving her a sweet kiss and saving the good stuff for later when Mattie goes out with Jen. Next, she and Mattie exchange pleasantries and before long the three of us are sitting in the living room watching some Sci Fi movie and waiting for the pet psychic.

Yes, PET PSYCHIC. I wasn't joking about that, we managed to find one here in DC.

"This is a straaaaaaaange movie." Mattie says, chewing on another kernel of popcorn and tossing one to Assassin who catches it in midair. "You believe in that Bermuda Triangle mumbo jumbo?"

Mac and I share a knowing glance.

"Yes."

"No."

We answer at the same time, both shocked and amused that we didn't agree. "You believe in the Bermuda Triangle, Mac? You were such a skeptic before."

She shrugs. "Yea, well, after finding you in the middle of the ocean, I am up to interpretation. . .Who knows what's out there." Her eyes go back to one of the guys in the movie who she and Mattie have declared 'hot.' I've learned, long ago, not to bother changing their mind about things like that.

"She kinda looks like you." I point at the brown eyed, sexy as sin, brunette who's some scientist, and the only girl in their little research group. And I swear, she does look like Mac.

Mac cocks her head to the side and shakes her head. "Naw, don't see the resemblance. . .She's way cuter than I am."

I nearly choke on the water I am drinking. "You're kidding me, right!"

A knock on the door ends that discussion and Mattie flips off the TV with a sigh. "I'll go get it." Once she opens the door in steps one of the oddest people I have ever seen in my life. The woman that walks in has pale skin with these pale, yet piercing blue eyes. Dark black, wavy hair rests over her shoulders and the outfit that she is wearing looks like a revival of some Stevie Nicks dress from the eighties. It's very flowy, colorful with hanging beads and sequins. The woman can't be more than thirty, I surmise as she exchanges pleasantries with Mattie.

"Dr. Noxema Dingleberry, dear." The woman says, shaking Mattie's hand as she comes towards Mac and I. "Hello, you must be Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie and this must be little Assassin." She reaches out to touch the puppy and nearly gets her finger taken off.

"Assassin, no!" Mac snaps, then proceeds to apologies profusely.

Dr. Dingleberry just laughs. "Oh, it's alright, dear, we'll just try to see what's bothering him. . .Ah, perfect." She says, pointing towards the sofa. "Alright, Commander and Colonel, please sit on either side of me and place Assassin on the coffee table. . .This young lady can sit on the chair across from us."

We all take our places and Dingleberry starts some sort of chant of unknown dialect. Somehow, it seems to actually lull Assassin into, what I am choosing to call, a false sense of security. I stare over at Mattie who's looking at me as if I've gone crazy. Well, maybe I have. I shift suddenly when I notice the box in my pocket has slid out I try, in vain, to shove it back in catching Mac's attention. 'Stop it.' She mouths and I nod enthusiastically as I give it another shove. It's not in all the way, but it will do, if we don't make any sudden movements that is.

"Ooooooooommmm." Dr. Dingleberry stops the chant then leans forward, placing her hands on Assassin. Good luck buddy! Better you than me! "Oooh. . .Hmmm. . .Really?" Sitting back, she starts to laugh hysterically as Mac and I share a look. "Hmmm. . .Seems like the little one here was angry with you, Commander?"

Angry? "Er, about?"

"Oh, you took him away from his friends in the pound. . He was very upset about that until he saw the Colonel." Dingleberry grins. "He thinks of her as his mommy, isn't that precious?"

Oh yea, adorable. I roll my eyes slightly. "Why did he keep attacking me?"

She sighs dramatically. "Very simple, Commander, he thought you were going to take him away from the Colonel. And was doing everything in his power to do that until the ring incident." She stays silent for a while and I swear to God I go pale. . .Very pale. So does Mattie and Mac for that matter. "Oh, that's quite a story." Dingleberry laughs. "Assassin didn't like the Vet very much, she was too smothering."

"Somehow smothering was not the impression I got." Mac says with a snort, then leans over to Assassin. "Is there anything else that he doesn't like, something that we do wrong?"

Dingleberry turns a few shades of red. "Yes. . .uh, yes. . .He thanks you for turning music on when you two. ..uh. . .mate."

Mate! Over on her side, Mattie spits out the water she was drinking wetting all of us. "Sorry. . .I'll just, ah. . .yea." She walks away towards the kitchen mumbling something about 'Don't ask, don't tell.' Along with something about a 'mental picture.' And I guess it's true that no kid wants to know about their parents getting it on.

"Sorry about that. . .erm, I was using Assassin's terminology." With a sigh, she changes her hand position on Assassin and then bursts out laughing. "Mattie?" She looks over at my ward who is in the kitchen. "He says he likes you but that he will not forgive you if you give him a. . .meatless. . ."

"Meatloaf." The three of us say, dejectedly, in unison. Alright, so I had to try it ONE MORE TIME just to see if it was as bad as Mac said it was. Now, I am not admitting this to Mac or Mattie or Assassin, but, Mac was right all those years ago. Meatless Meatloaf sucks. Yes, Mac is converting me into some sort of meat eater. I'm officially eating more chicken and leaving some tofu behind. Can't say I feel any worse for wear either.

"Assassin would like to say that he is especially happy that he got to go on a shopping excursion with the Commander. . .He really loves the ring and he is sorry that he ate it but he didn't know it was in the treat he had."

Mac perks up, I mean, literally PERKS UP. "Ring?" That's when she remembers my version of the story. "Oh, my Marine Corps ring." She extends her hand over to Assassin who looks away, seemingly uninterested.

Dingleberry shakes her head. "Uh, no. . .No, it's another ring, really pretty. . .shiny and it has a hear. ."

"Assassin!" I say, then reach over and pet him wildly. "You weren't supposed to tell Mac about that!" I admonish with a sigh. "There was this pretty ring with an 'S' on it and I was going to get it for Christmas, but now that he's let the cat out of the bag."

I hear Mattie choking over by the kitchen, between which the words 'chicken' come out clearly. I glare at her and she glares back then finally gives in. "Well, guess you'll have to get her the earrings then." She tosses in with a wave of her hand then mouthing 'dork.'

'Thanks.' I mouth back and sigh. This is going to be difficult. "Anything else?" I am now anxious to get this woman out of here!

Dingleberry settles back into the sofa and just stares at Assassin who is staring back. "Umm. . .He wishes to apologize for getting the Commander in trouble and he would not do that again. . .Also, the food you have gives him gas and he's torn through three of your favorite pumps, Colonel."

Mac's jaw drops. "My pumps? Why!" I never understand what the fascination is with dogs and shoes? I mean, ick!

"Yes, dear. . .Apparently he was hoping that you would blame the Commander." She says and we all share a good laugh at Assassin's expense. I guess he hasn't figured out that humans don't eat shoes. . .Well, most of us don't anyway. Clapping her hands loudly, Dr. Dingleberry stands. "Alright, it's complete, I suggest we do another session in a year or so, just to see how things are. . .Now give me your hands."

Mattie joins Mac, Dingleberry and I in a circle that we make around the coffee table. "Close your eyes." She instructs and I pick that particular moment to shift slightly, again the box moves along with me and ends up, you guessed it, falling out of my pocket and onto the floor. Thank God, it fell on the section where there is an area rug. "Thank you Lord for giving us this moment to speak with one of your creatures. . ." The rest is lost on me as I try, with one eye half open to not move around so much as I use my foot to grab at the box. I nearly fall forward, but do manage to shove it under the sofa and away from prying eyes. "You alright, Commander?"

I nod. "Yea, just uh. . .lost my balance." Mattie, Mac and Assassin are all staring at me as if I've lost my mind. "Are we done?" She nods and I fish around my pocket, pulling out one hundred bucks. "Thank you so much, Dr. Dingleberry."

We walk her to the door and just as she's about to step out, she moves close to me and whispers in my ear. "Assassin wants you to give her the ring on Christmas, Commander." She winks knowingly at me and then vanishes into the elevator.

As I turn and close the door, Mac shakes her head. "What was that about?"

"Nothing."

"Liar." She says, cheekily, then wraps her arms around me. "Any luck in me getting that ring for Christmas?"

"Ring?" I pale, God did she overhear. .. No, no, Rabb! She's talking about the 'fake' one. Yea, right. Hehehe. Oh Lord. "If you behave, maybe. . .But I've never thought you were the materialistic type."

Mac lets me go with a chuckle. "I'm not. . .You could give me a ring out of a cracker jack box and I'd wear that as if it were an engage. .uh. . .a umm . .an expensive one." She smiles shyly, then points at the TV. "Look, that girl you like is on. . .She so does not look like me."

"Yes, she does." I point out, catching completely how she caught herself. So, Sarah MacKenzie wants me to propose does she? Well, she'll have to wait. I take a deep breath and let it out in relief. Maybe Assassin's idea isn't such a bad one? Proposal at Christmas. I grin. "I like the sound of that."

"Sound of what?" Mattie and Mac ask at the same time. In due time, Marine. In due time.