I tried so hard /sobs

Thanks for the support, guys! Also, please don't kill me over this chapter.

The bare branches waved idly in the wind. Piko counted the small patches of snow that were littered over the stiff, frost-glazed ground. He temporarily tuned out his teacher as he looked out the window. Piko thought over the last two weeks: how he watched the students pour their frustrations and punishments out onto the scapegoat and how Piko, with extreme restraint, would turn his cheek the other way whenever he remembered his old life filled with trivial misdeeds and his mother's solemn eyes. His fingers still shook whenever his anger was brought to a quick boil and his mind reeled over the injustices he faced in Okinawa, yet he would not ruin his reputation in Kahiru.

Not that he had much of a reputation. He had a few good friends and acquaintances. He was a normal student, nothing beyond that. Yet he noticed that even students whose names barely brushed upon the lips of popular students took advantage of Gaijin, snickering at him whenever he passed them and occasionally calling him some crude names. They were never condemned for their actions. The nameless student could walk away without comment, gloating in their moral superiority. No one in the school had the same ignominious reputation as Gaijin did.

'If they can get away with it," Piko thought, "then why do I have to force myself to sit on the sidelines?'

The loud bell rattled through his body. Students got up from their seats and helped clean the classroom. Piko did the same and gathered his belongings when his chores were finished. As he slid his backpack over his shoulders, he thought about the homework he had to do and his other mountain of responsibilities. He rubbed his eyes, wondering if he would even be able to sleep tonight. His new school had been more difficult than he anticipated and he felt incredibly behind, but Piko was trying to convince himself that he wasn't dumb. He had to at least put on a mask of intelligence. He couldn't disappoint his mother. He needed to keep a clean reputation.

He heard a loud commotion. A few lingering students ran to the windows, laughed at the spectacle, and darted out of the classroom. Piko followed them, unsure as to what they had seen. The students that had watched from the window laughed as they exited the campus. Piko stood at the entrance while he watched a decent sized group of students pelting things at- who else? Piko wasn't sure what they were throwing but he saw the boy running, running away from his punishment like an escaped inmate running from the searchlights trying to swallow him. Piko felt all of the heat in his body rush to his head and he dug his fingers into the straps of his backpack. He threw off his bag and the weight of his responsibilities fell with it. He felt as if he had been fed a pack of batteries. He sprinted. The pack had already swallowed up the boy again when he caught up to them. Piko watched and panted, his eyes wide and his hands clenched.

"What are you doing standing there? Piko, right?"

Piko shot his head up to find an upperclassman staring down at him. He tossed Piko something. He grinned.

"Help us clean up the gaijin."

The upperclassman patted him on the back. Piko nodded and walked over to the pack. The boys turned their heads and smiled, as if they had been waiting for him. Piko brought the object up to his nose as he walked. It smelt like the liquid soap his mother bathed him in when he was younger. His mother would sit with him in the large tub while the bubbles rose up to his chin. The bar of soap smelt like some kind of flower, he just wasn't sure which one. Piko felt his limbs become weak yet he maintained a firm stance in front of the boy. Piko stared at the soap in his hand.

"Why are we just using just soap?"

A cold wind blew through the boys' hair. The group stared at Piko expectantly. Piko raised his eyebrows at them.

"Don't you wash the soap off with water?"

Len hadn't show up for his lesson yet. Gumi tapped her fingers against her notebook and stared at the clock, tacking on another minute to the counter in her head, making Len seventeen minutes late to his latest session. Gumi wondered, during the past few sessions, if she had said something unintentionally degrading to Len that made him decide against seeing her this evening. She reflected on their past conversations: she made sure that she didn't pity him and she strayed away from asking the boy any personal questions. Gumi supposed that she was doing a good job since Rin hadn't made an appearance since that night two weeks prior.

Gumi made the effort to look for Len once he was twenty minutes late. She wandered down the halls, jogged to the top floor of the school and looked out the window. The blacktop was bare. She frowned. From there she looked into the classrooms of every floor. She continued searching for him until she had peered behind every door. She decided that Len had bailed on her and perhaps wasn't feeling well. She then thought of worse scenarios and sighed anxiously. She decided to wait for him in case he did show up, and she dragged herself back to the library.

Suddenly she was sliding. Her tailbone burned. Gumi wailed from the pain and rubbed the lower end of her back. She looked down the hallway, the floor decorated with puddles. Gumi managed to stand up again after a few minutes of complaining and walked next to the puddles.

'Did it rain in here?'

She heard a distant squeaking noise. Gumi paced herself.

"Hey? Hey!"

The boy was a human mop. His hair clung to his face, droplets quickly dripping off of him as if they were desperate to get away from him. Gumi made a gesture of exasperation as Len stood in front of her.

"What the hell happened to you?" She asked. "What did they do to you?"

Len's teeth chattered. "They gave me a shower."

"Goddamnit, I'm-" she stopped herself from apologizing as it wouldn't do Len any good. "Were you seriously about to go outside while you're as wet as a sponge?"

Len scowled. "I didn't think I'd be let into the library soaking wet. There was no point in going today. Sorry that I didn't inform you."

"I don't care about that. I was concerned about you. You're going to get sick if you go out like that."

"What choice do I have? I don't have any other clothes. I don't have a towel. I don't have shit."

"Alright, look," Gumi rubbed her hands against her face with frustration, "how far do you live from the school?"

"An hour."

"I live about twenty minutes away," she said.

Len stiffened. "I can't go over your house."

"Do you want to freeze to death? You won't make it back home. Len, for the love of God, just let me get you a towel and into dry clothes. No one is home, I promise. My mom works long hours and my brother either doesn't get home until late or he holes himself up in his room. We can just hang in my room. My brother doesn't try to get in. Len, please."

Len shuddered in his damp clothes as a droplet of icy water slid down his neck, and while the desperateness of the girl's voice would have made him suspicious, the cold was weakening his ability make any rational decisions. The girl continued to implore him until he let out a sound of annoyance.

"Fine!"

Gumi ran back to the library to gather her things and left the school with Len. She frowned at the squishing sound Len's shoes made.

"If you want, we can take the backroads, so that no one can see you."

Len scowled knowingly. "Fair enough. It wouldn't be fair to you if we were seen together."

Gumi sighed. "It's not that, it's-" She stopped and said, "Let's get to my house and I'll take care of you."

Gumi sauntered off into the woods. Len followed her. About ten minutes into the walk his heart began to flutter and his stomach became hot and achy. Gumi emphasized greatly how there was no one in her house, yet he could envision all of the students' dark faces waiting for him in her living room, turning their head towards him when they looked up from their phones or from the television. Then Gumi would grab him as would everyone else and pull his arms and legs in all directions, snapping his bones and distributing Indian burns to him arms. Then they'd throw him out into the woods onto the cold ground and leave him there. And only God knew what would happen after that.

Len let Gumi walk up to the door while he stood a few feet away. Gumi took out her keys. She looked to her side and saw Len distancing himself from her.

"What are you doing?" The keys jiggled.

Len shrugged. Gumi sighed at Len's behavior and shoved her house key into the lock and opened the door. Len looked into the doorway, moving a few feet left and right to check all the angles. He took his time going inside the house while Gumi had already taken her coat and shoes off. She put on her house slippers while offering Len a pair.

"What's wrong? Do you think I have a bunch of people in here waiting to wring your neck?"

"No," Len snapped as his eyes darted from left to right. He was in the kitchen now, and on his left was the entrance to the living room. Len kept his eyes on his left. "Can I just get a towel?"

Gumi frowned; Len's hair was mostly frozen and his clothes were stiff. "Please take a bath. I think that'll help you warm up faster."

"Fine."

Gumi led Len up to the bathroom. She gave him bathroom accessories, towels and some of Piko's older clothes that she knew he wouldn't miss (Gumi made sure that she left Piko's room exactly as she had found it, at least, she did so to the best of her ability).

"Are you sure it's okay for me to use your bathroom?" Len asked.

"It's fine. If I wasn't fine with it, I wouldn't have invited you over. And see, look." Gumi opened the bathroom door to prove her point. Len nodded and tapped his bare feet against the tiles.

"There's no one here that's going to see you. No one is hiding. It's just you and me. Take your time. I'll wash your uniform for you if you leave it outside before you bathe."

Gumi left Len alone. Gumi went to her room to put her backpack and coat away, and she came back to find Len's damp uniform next to the bathroom door.

"White you're in there, I'll make us some food," Gumi said loud enough for the boy to hear. She went to the laundry room to wash Len's clothes. She frowned at the faded stains and put in a hefty amount of detergent. Soon after the laundry she was boiling noodles and putting frozen snacks in the oven. She realized that she had to make dinner for her mother and brother. She took out some fish from the freezer. Before she touched the fish, she turned on the radio. A familiar song filled the room. Gumi took out a knife and hesitated slightly before singing along, letting her shoulders lax as she dipped the fish in seasoning.

He stared at himself in the foggy bathroom mirror. He traced a finger over the lines that grew over him. The long, tan roots dug into his legs and wandered over the rest of his upper body. Some of his roots were small, others cascading around his torso.

Violet splotches covered his back and chest. Rin liked flowers, but she wouldn't like the ones covering his body. They were ugly flowers, but they were for her. The violets that covered him were homage to her, an acknowledgment of her unjust death. They all dug into his body for Rin, to let her know that her death wouldn't go unforgotten and that her brother would never go unpunished, as long as Rin's name was still kept alive.

Len traced the lines and cracks on his skin, trying to recall how he received each one while the warm fog in the bathroom surrounded him. He gazed at his right shoulder and blinked at the brown marking that covered his skin like dusty soil. The director had settled and patted the soil into his shoulder with her hot iron after catching Len trying to sneak food from the pantry. The blossoming flowers on his skin doubled over the past few days from recent beatings after school. Len put his fingers over the two dents in his lower neck that resembled a bite from a wild animal. He instead focused on the faded lines on his upper neck and chest from when a girl had accused him of stalking her and decided to defend herself. Then her friends helped her. It took him a good five minutes to escape them, he recalled.

"What happened to you?" Oliver had asked him when Len trudged through the front door. Streaks on blood covered Len's chest.

"Nothing unusual for today."

Oliver shook his head wondering why Len was targeted by his peers so frequently. Oliver was the only one in Kahiru who was unaware of Len's misdeeds. When Oliver found out, he ran off. Len wasn't surprised. Oliver had to hide himself and being with Len risked Oliver's well-being and Len knew that he wasn't worth the risk. Len still felt guilty that Oliver let him keep the shed. He never thanked him for that.

It had been awhile since Len had seen his reflection in the mirror. He grazed his ravished fingertips over his sore ribs that stuck out of his body. If he lost another pound his ribs would likely rip through his thin taut skin. Then, people would find a way to stitch him up again and remind him that, before he could rot in Hell forever, before the final days of the universe could come about, before everything could collapse in on itself and become a blank slate again, he needs to experience Hell on earth first before the devil can break his red hot hand through the broken cracks on the earth's surface and pull Len down into his fiery abyss (The villagers of Kahiru were, and still are, slightly afraid that the Devil will be too kind to Len, just as the court, in their eyes, had been to him). Recently, the punishments had been severe enough for Len to give up his thoughts of buying a razor blade, his idea to create deep roots that would never heal. They would only find him again, though. They'd stitch him up and then beat him for even thinking that he had free will.

He stared at his dull complexion, covered with violets that only rotted to black, marks that never faded away, and dry soil that resulted when his scabs flaked off too soon.

"Len, are you almost done?"

Len nodded at the soft question. He threw on the shirt and pants Gumi gave him and swung open the door. Gumi jumped, not expecting his sudden appearance.

"I made you food," she said quietly. "Well, there are snacks out, but the fish-sticks are still in the oven..." she trailed off nervously as Len continually stared at her, mistaking his stare for apathy. "I had to make dinner for my family, too."

Len noticed her discomfort and set his eyes to the floor. "I appreciate it. I really do."

Gumi's eyes brightened. "O-okay, good. I think you'll like them- the fish sticks, I mean. I also made noodles and other little things. We can eat in my room. I set us up a table."

They kneeled in front of the table, each teenager sitting at each end. Gumi glanced up to see Len eating his food quickly, yet too quickly. She was afraid to interrupt him during his meal; he was eating as if this was his last.

"Be careful, you might get heartburn."

Len's ears became red and he set his chopsticks down. "Sorry." He picked up his teacup and took a small sip.

"I don't want you to be sick. Eating that fast isn't good for anyone." Gumi smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. She wondered when was the last time Len had eaten, based off of his current eating pattern.

"I probably look like a slob." Len muttered. He wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Trust me; no one eats sloppier than Piko."

Len stared at his bowl of rice then at his plate of fish sticks as silence thickened between them. He picked up a fish stick and then set it back down. "Are you still tutoring me tonight?"

Gumi looked up with surprise. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to take a break today."

"I guess we can. You don't have to tutor me if you don't want to."

"I don't mind. You just seem run-down."

Len shifted his chopsticks through the rice. "You don't have to tutor me. It's fine."

"I said that I don't mind. We can start after dinner."

He grimaced. "Just don't bother, I know that you get frustrated with me anyway."

"Since when? Why are you being a sourpuss to me?"

Len threw his hands up. "God, why bother?"

Gumi's impatience increased. She pressed her lips together tightly. "Len, why are you acting like this? What's going on?"

"I don't need to tell you shit. Let's be honest: I'm not going to graduate. You can't do anything for me."

With those words Gumi's heart began to thump and her face became redder with every heartbeat. "How? I've been trying so hard! Did someone threaten you? Len, who caught us together?" Gumi's eyes widened with terror. "Is that why they threw you in the shower today?"

There was a loud noise which prompted Len to shoot up and race around the room.

"I have to hide, I have to hide," he repeated several times before Gumi ushered him into her closet.

"Sorry about this. Just don't worry."

Len nodded, his eyes shifting nervously as he crammed himself into the corner of her closet. Gumi shut the closet door. She eyed the slits on the door and made sure that Len couldn't be seen. The knocks on her door became furious.

"Hold on!"

Gumi quickly shifted the food to her side of the table and tossed Len's mat to the side. She opened the door.

"Piko, what's wrong?"

"Why the hell were you in my room?"

A shade of red filled Gumi's face. Sweat was beginning to build up on the back of her neck. "Mom asked me to look for something. I tried calling your phone, but you didn't answer."

"If I ask her, will she agree? Why the hell was my drawer open?"

"I was just looking for her fucking phone charger! Jesus-"

"Just shut up! Why the hell do you have a table in here?"

"I can't eat in peace? Is that really any of your business?"

Piko stared at the large amounts of food on the table and snorted. "You're a pig."

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't say-"

"Fucking bullshit, Piko! Get the hell out before I tell mom that you said that to me. You're not going to pick a fight with me." Gumi felt her head and eyes burn as she pointed a shaky finger to the door. She put down her finger and shivered. "Piko, what's going on? What's-"

"Stop trying to get on mom's side and grow the hell up. Stop trying to act like the 'good' big sister when you were the one who made us move to this shitty little town! This is your entire fucking fault."

Piko was in Gumi's face now, his eyes wide open and bloodshot. Gumi's body shook like jelly, but she kept her composition together by clasping onto the last tangent idea in her mind, the last thread in her head that was telling her not to lose control in Len's presence.

"I thought we were done with this?" Gumi asked numbly.

Upon Gumi's lack of an emotional response, Piko's hand shot out. Gumi shrieked and caught her brother's wrist before his palm could hit her cheek.

"What the fuck!" Hot tears pricked at Gumi's eyes. "How dare you!"

"You deserve it! All the bad people get away with their shitty behavior and I'm fucking sick of it! Like that goddamn gaijin. At least everyone has sense here to punish him. Why can't people see what a bitch you are? You killed my dad and you're not even guilty about it!"

"You don't think that I feel guilty?" Gumi emitted a sharp laugh. "You don't remember why I didn't go to our dad's funeral? Did you think that I was fucking around that day? I regret his death every single-"

"Shut up!"

Gumi shuddered as she sobbed. Piko's raw screeches of denial rang throughout her eardrums. Through the haze of her tears Gumi held up Piko's wrist and in the dim lighting she caught dark markings littering the bumps of his fist. "What is this? What are those?"

"Let go." Piko forced his wrist out of his sister's grasp.

"Why are there bruises on your hand? Are you serious? What gang did you join now?"

"I didn't join any fucking gang," Piko hissed, the shame becoming apparent on his face. "I got into a fight."

"Over what?"

"Shut up."

"You can blame me for getting us sent away from home, Piko, but your fucking antics in Okinawa didn't help us either. Are you going to hurt mom like that? Are you going to be that selfish?"

"You don't control my life," Piko sneered, "and mom isn't going to find out."

"Are you sure?" Gumi gestured to Piko's bruised hands.

"She's never around anyway. Don't tell her because I can easily make you look like shit. You know that mom likes me better. Kind of sucks that daddy isn't around anymore, huh?"

Piko turned around and slammed the door behind him. Gumi held up her shaky hands up to her face with shock. She stared at the door and sobbed loudly, muffling her cries into her hands. She stood like this for a few minutes before she rubbed the sleeve of her sweater over her eyes.

"Oh shit, Len-"

She turned to the closet and opened it. Len stared at her quietly with eyes as big as the dishes on the table, squeezing his knees together tightly.

"Are you okay?"

Gumi sniffled. "Y-yeah."

"Good." Len nodded, his face ashen.

"I'm sorry about that."

"I'm sorry." Len muttered. "You got in trouble because of me, over his stupid clothes-"

"Don't blame yourself. He would have found something else to yell at me over. Len, your face is white. Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"No, it's like you've seen a ghost. I know Piko and I just fought like rabid dogs and everything but there's something still bugging you. Why did you lash out at me earlier? Forget about me, what's wrong with you?"

"...do you want to know what Piko has been up to?"

Len lifted up his shirt to reveal the violets on his chest, and when she began to cry, Len pulled his shirt down again.

"I'm sorry."

"Pull your shirt back up." Gumi demanded. "I'll fix what that bastard did."

Len cautiously did so, his eyes settling on the girl's mucus-stained nostrils.

She muttered the same apologies over and over again, an apology to each violent violet that had blossomed on his skin, as she covered up his wounds with bandages.

"I wish you had told me sooner," she muttered, lost in her despair as she gave Len an icepack.

"I don't need it," Len protested, but he took it from the girl anyway to ease her worrying. "Today was the first day, anyway," he began, "and you're not going to convince him that today will be his last."

"I know," Gumi groaned. "I would rather that he hit me rather than you, but I'm a coward. You didn't see me? I couldn't let him hit me because I feel that I don't deserve it, but now that you know what I did to my father, I really should be taking your place."

"I know that you didn't kill your father. You'd be in jail if you did."

She paused for a moment as she was dabbing peroxide on his elbow. She continued after nodding slightly.

Len winced from the sting of the peroxide. "How did he die?"

Gumi slammed down the bottle of peroxide and she brandished Len with her eyes. "What makes you think you can ask me questions like that, but whenever I try to ask you about anything, you shut me down?"

Len jumped back from Gumi, his eyes wide. If he was balled up any closer in himself he would have folded into himself like a piece of paper. Gumi covered her face with a shaky hand.

"I'm stupid."

"No, that wasn't your fault. I'm a hypocrite." Len mumbled. He put down his icepack. "I won't bother you about it. Piko put you through hell today."

"He put both of us through hell."

"Can I just ask you one more thing? You don't have to answer me if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Alright." Gumi reluctantly agreed. She began to apply the band aid onto his elbow. "Last one," she whispered quietly.

"Were you run out of town because you 'killed' your father?"

Gumi smiled sadly as she closed the lid on the box of band aids and placed it on the table. "At least if people had been cruel to me, I wouldn't be wishing to be in Okinawa again. No, it was something else that forced us to leave. Piko's behavior didn't help but…what I did was worse." Gumi shrugged her arms into the sleeves of her sweater and balled the ends of the sleeves in her palm, her hands sitting on her lap.

Len watched her. "Thanks for answering."

"You know, this has been a pretty pathetic day." Gumi took her hands out of her sleeves and began reorganizing her medical kit. "Let's do something."

"Like what? Play dolls?" Len lifted up the stuffed cat up from Gumi's pillow.

Gumi blushed but pouted as she shut the case of the kit. "That's not a doll, that's a stuffed animal, you uncultured blockhead."

The way Gumi spoke- trying to sound haughty yet making sure that her 'insult' was tinged with humor- emitted a genuine chuckle from Len. Gumi felt her heart flutter slightly at his laugh, feeling almost accomplished.

"I really should go, though."

Gumi stammered. "I was joking."

"I know," Len nodded, "but it's late and I should get home. It's already pretty dark and it's starting to snow again."

Gumi stared out of her window as snowflakes whirled around teasingly, promising her a foot or so of snow for her to shovel. "You're right. Let me get your clothes."

Gumi retrieved Len's clothes from the dryer and sighed at seeing a few faint stains remaining on Len's sweater. She let Len change in the bathroom ("I really don't want to wear his clothes right now, but thanks for letting me borrow them," Len said) while she filled a bag of food for him.

"Here." She presented the bag to him.

Len frowned and looked into the bag. His eyes widened. "Why are you giving me all this? I got you in enough trouble today."

Gumi shook her head and dismissed Len's guilt. "Don't apologize. I'm just sorry that my brother-"

"Don't apologize." Len held up his hand. "To be honest, he can't hit for shit. Most of the bruising was caused by Gakupo and his friends."

"Piko was a sprinter back in Okinawa." Gumi found herself nibbling on her bottom lip again and stopped herself from annihilating her almost healed lips. "But he still shouldn't-"

"But he's going to. Don't worry about it."

"No, it's not fair. I'm going to do something about it."

Len raised his eyebrows at Gumi. "Well, good luck."

"Just…don't be afraid of me because of him." Gumi pleaded. "We're still tutoring?"

"Of course."

Gumi smiled, relieved. "Alright."

Once Gumi reassured Len that no one is downstairs, he walked down and out through the front door.

"I'm sorry that I don't have a jacket for you," Gumi called out.

Len shrugged. "At least I'm dry. Thanks again."

Gumi nodded and said goodbye to him, waving him farewell even when he turned his back and slipped into the blackness of the cold night. Gumi watched him disappear while she rubbed her lower back, which began to throb again. She went take a hot bath afterwards to soothe the aches. She went to shower off beforehand and gazed at a band aid that, the blood on it a rusty brown, had been left on the tiled floor. Gumi quietly tossed it into the trashcan.

It was Len and Rin's birthday, but if a stranger had walked by, they would have thought that it was only the girl's.

Len knew not to expect anything and not to ask for anything more than he already had, yet when Rin told him about the birthday party that she was having, he knew he had to go. It was his birthday too and he wanted to get a break from his increasingly strict life. He knew he wouldn't receive any gifts, but he was comforted by the idea of getting a slice of cake. When he asked the director if he could go to his sister's birthday party, the woman rolled her eyes.

"Why do you think that you deserve to go?"

"So I can be there for her, of course. You want me to go to the same school as her to keep her company, right? She wants me to be at her party, too."

The director couldn't argue with this; the only reason Len went to a decent school was because the director, as she reminded him from the first day of classes, had placed Len in school so he could be there for Rin. If he 'screwed up', as she politely put it, Len would be subject to an array of punishments, the severity depending on her mood. The worst that had happened to him physically at this point in his life was a slap on the face, but getting sent to bed without dinner wasn't fun for him either. The director still had contact with Rin and her new family, even though Rin had lived away from the director for a while now.

"Miss Sukone is like a second mother to me!" Rin chirped one day to Len during lunch.

Len sighed quietly at this exclamation. He couldn't deny this: the director had given Rin a birthday gift just like her new parents had, in addition to a grandiose party with her friends. It was supposed to be a surprise party organized by her friends, but the truth had slipped out a week beforehand and Rin's parents happily organized the rest of the party.

"What is he doing here? This party is for Rin."

Len turned his head and stared at the children whispering behind him. Rin often walked home with these friends, with Len often trailing behind them, whereas Len knew that her friends just tolerated him for being Rin's brother.

"It's my birthday, too." Len's words faltered as he turned his head. He gazed around the large house. Rin has it good, Len thought; as he walked into the spacious living room, he found Rin's adoptive mother and she led Len to Rin's room.

"Rin, your brother is here!"

The woman's voice was airy, cheery, and full of warmth. Len let her voice soothe him. The door swung open.

"Leeen!"

A flurry of pink hopped onto him.

"Hey, Rin."

Her adoptive mother walked away, content with this scene, while Rin grabbed Len's hands and bounced excitedly.

"Happy birthday, Len!"

"Happy birthday, Rin."

"Do you like my new dress, Len? It's got sparkles on it."

"It's really pretty."

"You know you don't like pink, Len."

"I still think it's nice."

"Did you get a new outfit for your birthday?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

Rin frowned while she led the boy into her bedroom. Len stared at her large bed. A cream-colored canopy shaded her orange polka-dotted comforter.

"So, when's your birthday party?"

"Huh?"

"Well, today's mine, right?" Rin smoothed out a crease on her dress. "When's your party?"

Len gulped. If he told Rin that he wasn't going to have a party, and then Rin would ask the director why Len didn't get to have a party. Then the director would explain to Rin that her brother hadn't wanted one, and then the director would go and berate Len for being so selfish and for ruining Rin's big day. Len couldn't deal with that.

"I thought this party was for both of us."

Len knew that this answer wasn't good either, as Rin frowned deeper this time.

"Okay," Rin slowly began, "but none of your friends are here. All of my friends are here. And my cake has my name on it, and so do the gifts."

Len wrung his hands together. "Never mind."

"I don't mind sharing Len, I really don't, but this party was kind of for me...but that's okay! We'll work it out."

Quietness settled in between the two children; Len wrung his hands while Rin gazed at the floor while she tapped her feet together.

"Rin! Everyone is here!"

"Okay!" Rin replied to her mother, her eyes widening with realization. She began bouncing again and her eyes shined brilliantly. "We've never had a party this big before, Len!" She took his hands. "I hope everyone has fun. I hope that I look pretty enough. I hope everyone likes the cake. I know that Gakupo doesn't like vanilla but the icing is vanilla so I hope he doesn't mind and..."

She was shaking, Len noticed, as her hands trembled in his. If she was nervous, the girl didn't show it, despite her shaky hands and despite voicing her worries. Rin brought Len into the living room where the rest of Rin's friends were. There were no issues whatsoever until the end. Rin recalled seeing Len quarreling in front of Gakupo and his friends. She could remember the feeling of her muscles tensing; something was about to go very wrong, and unfortunately, she was very right.

"I'm doing this for Rin! I'm not doing anything wrong."

Gakupo's face was red, with Dell and Yohio and a few other boys yelling at Len angrily. Dell approached Len, towering over the blond boy.

"Len, stop!" Rin begged as she came in between Len and Dell. Dell began to push her away to get to Len. "What's going on?"

"I'm trying to help you! Stop acting so stupid, Rin." Dell snapped. Gakupo quickly pulled Dell away from Rin and pushed him.

"It's Rin's birthday! Don't call her that." Gakupo let go of Dell and ignored the boy's grunts.

Len juggled with his words. "Rin, they think that-"

"We were trying to prevent Len from running off with one of your gifts," Gakupo said.

"N-no! The gift fell and I was going to put it away-"

"No, you weren't, you leech!" Gakupo yelled. "I got that gift for Rin, not you, and-"

"Stop!"

Rin finally calmed down the boys and sighed. "I did ask Len to reorganize the gifts. I didn't want everything to fall over." She had them apologize to Len, and they did, but with unrestful eyes and tight lips. Len followed Rin, as she requested. Rin opened a closet.

"Len, let's go outside."

Len watched his sister throw on a sweater. Rin gave him his jacket and the twins walked from the backdoor and onto the backyard decorated with snow.

"Rin, you know that I wouldn't steal your present."

"I know, Len, but why you were over there in the first place?"

The tone of his sister's voice distressed Len. The boy clutched his achy stomach. "The director doesn't like messes. I thought that I was trying to be helpful by organizing your gifts so that they wouldn't fall and create a bigger mess. I'm just used to cleaning. Rin, what would I do with a bunch of girly toys anyway?"

Rin pursed her lips while drawing a line into the snow. "Alright, Len, I'm sorry that I yelled." Rin looked at her white fingers and her orange fingernails. When she looked up again, she saw Len with his tongue out, reaching out for a snowflake. She rubbed her hands together uncomfortably. "I really have to talk to you about something else."

Len gave his attention back to his sister but gazed at the swing-set behind Rin. One swing held a small pile of snow; the other was only covered with a white dusting. "Yeah?"

"You have to stop… well, I don't know how to say this without being mean?" Rin gulped. "Len, you have to leave me alone. I need more space. I know that we're twins, but-"

"Rin, I have to watch over you."

Rin groaned and turned around, burying her face in her hands. "Len, please don't be dramatic." She faced Len again. The snow began to bite her ears and her patience slipped away. "Stop hovering over me, Len! Stop trying to protect me. I'm nine!"

"Rin-"

"These are my friends, Len. You need to find your own."

"It's hard to do that when everyone is already friends with you."

"That's not true, Len. You have Tei."

Len felt his stomach take a dive. "Not really."

"But I see you talking to her all the time?" Rin asked, puzzled.

"She practically corners me, Rin. She's too annoying. It's not fair, Rin! The director has been telling me to make sure that you had friends and that you're always happy. I can't make any friends if I have to keep watching over you."

"Then stop it! Tell Miss Sukone that I don't need to be watched over, if she even makes you do that. You can't keep clinging onto me forever, Len. We'll grow up one day and get married to different people and then we'll be moving far away from each other."

Len's breathe hitched. "Do you think so?"

"It happens most of the time, Len. You know that I want to get married to a pop star one day."

"Oh." Len sniffled quietly. His heart beat painfully, despite the childish absurdity of Rin's words, as the snow fell on their heads. Len watched Rin hum to herself quietly while her eyes became downcast. She shook the snow off of her hair. "Rin?"

"What is it, Len? Because I'd like to go back inside soon."

The girl shivered. Her cheeks were flushed. Strands of her hair flew back and forth in the wind. She shivered as she brought her chin to her chest.

"Why does everyone like you and not me?"

Len cringed at his sister's annoyed sigh.

"You need to be yourself, Len."

"Then what can I do if no one likes me how I am?"

"I don't know, Len." Rin snapped. "Maybe you should stop trying to copy me and then people will like you."

"And why would I want to try to copy someone as selfish as you?"

"How am I selfish?" Rin cried.

"I'm the one who makes sure you get home safe. You don't even thank me for trying to keep you company. You're selfish; you've forgotten who used to read to you at night while you cried for a mother and father. Now you have a family, and I don't. You've forgotten everything I did for you and now you're just awful. You're a spoiled brat."

Rin lowered her eyes to the ground.

"Rin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Thank you for your help," Rin said quietly, "and I won't need it anymore. Your favor is on the table in the kitchen. Goodbye, Len."

Rin watched her brother walk away and then she cried because she felt sorry for herself.

She didn't realize at the time how poorly her brother was being treated and the guilt still made her nauseous. Now that she knew everything from all different points of view, the thoughts of her ninth birthday party stressed her. Rin sat in her white room, as she rolled her finger around the edge of her porcelain bowl. She had a bowl of strawberries and cream right in front of her, yet her brother was starving every day. Rin had lost her appetite but she forced herself to eat. She was enraged at how her brother had been treated today, but Piko could be easily taken care of, and at least Gumi had taken care of Len. It was unfair to pin this girl onto her brother, considering that Gumi had enough problems of her own, but her brother had it worse and his pain had existed since their birth.

Gumi needs to see this memory, Rin told herself. However, the easiest thing for her to do was to only tell her about Len's birthdate and what to expect. She'd leave it at that. The birthday party would reveal too much and it was still too painful for Rin to think about it. Her ninth birthday was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, yet her selfishness ruined it. She had apologized to Len after that incident but she knew that it wasn't enough. The pain from the guilt lasted. It hurt more than being choked by the smoke from the cabin fire. Being burnt to death had hurt, of course. She could still remember her lungs burning and choking for air, but that pain was only temporary; the pain of being unable to be at peace with herself and her brother was agonizing. Rin gaged before she could swallow another spoonful of cream.

"I can't show Gumi," Rin said as she rubbed her forehead. "I'm not that cruel. Len needs to be happy. I'm helping him now…"

If everything worked out, Len would be happy. She and Len could be happy forever. She could rest in peace soon. Everything was working out. Only one concern arose when she had watched her brother and Gumi earlier: she had watched Len's cheeks redden while Gumi tended to her brother's wounds.

"Len doesn't trust anyone, though…" Rin muttered to herself. "He still barely trusts her."

She continued thinking about this scene until she heard a plink. At this sound, Rin wiped her lips with her napkin and cleaned herself up. Gumi had fallen asleep.

"Good evening."

Gumi rubbed her eyes and nodded at Rin. "Hey."

"So," Rin began, "how's tutoring going?" The blonde girl sat in her chair and began to pour Gumi a cup of tea before pouring a cup for herself. Gumi continued to stand.

"Well, you're already watching everything. You should already have a good idea."

"I just wanted to start a conversation on a positive note," Rin sighed, "Considering that today was, well, pretty awful for Len."

"I'm really sorry about Piko," Gumi said sorrowfully. 'But it was awful for me, too.' Gumi thought as her brother's rough words filled her head again.

"He's just another one of them." Rin shrugged. "It's not your fault. Your brother thinks, through vigilante justice, that he's admonishing those whom he thinks deserve to be punished. He's going through a rough period. He's caught in between being a good boy for your stressed mother and being a punisher for the guilty that are never deemed so by the government."

"But I can't keep letting him hurt Len. You hate this, Rin; your knuckles are white."

Rin gazed at her fingers that were grasping the handle of the teapot tightly. She set the teapot down. "You're a smart girl; you'll figure it out. You might even find your solution right in front of you tomorrow."

Gumi looked at the girl with furrowed eyebrows. Rin clapped her hands together, but not so harshly, as if she was afraid her porcelain hands would shatter and fall apart. "Speaking of time, Len's birthday is coming up."

"Really?"

"On December 26th."

"What should I do then?"

"Just be there for him. That's all you really can do." Rin sat up from her chair and walked over to Gumi.

"Here. I guess that it's a bit early to give you this, but while you're here, take it."

Gumi felt something fill her hands. She found bills worth thousands of yen sitting in her hands.

"Damn. How did you-? Never mind, that's a stupid question. Are you sure that it's a good idea to give me all this money now?"

"It's all for Len. Buy him something good. I trust you."

Gumi quickly nodded, staring at the money with wide eyes. "Of course!"

"Gumi," Rin's eyes darkened, and the sparkle in her eyes vanished. As Rin tilted her head downwards, the shadows covered her eyes. Gumi yelped nervously, expecting to see empty sockets when Rin brought her head up again. Her eyes were still there when Rin brought her head back up and offered the girl a firm glare.

"It's for Len. Not you."

"I-I wouldn't try to spend it on myself, Rin." Gumi felt herself shrinking under Rin's harsh gaze.

"Good. Keep that promise."

"I swear."

Rin frowned. "Don't lose this money, either."

Gumi stared at the bags under her eyes in the bathroom mirror. She sighed; Rin was frightening at times. Rin's sudden anger was rather unwarranted, as was her brother's. At least Rin had a legitimate reason to be mad, Gum thought; Len needed the help that Rin was too far away to give him, and she had to ensure that Gumi wouldn't go against her requests. Rin didn't need to worry; the money she was given was stored safely in her drawer where her underwear was.

Gumi dressed herself and went downstairs to eat breakfast, but everything in the fridge and the pantry looked unappetizing.

"I haven't eaten breakfast in a while, though." Gumi realized.

Instead Gumi settled on looking through the newspaper left on the counter. Gumi rubbed her forehead when she saw Piko brush past her and slam the door behind him.

"What a douche…" Gumi began.

"You might even find your solution right in front of you tomorrow."

Gumi blinked at this thought and stared back down at the newspaper.

Local nursing home looking for students, ages thirteen to eighteen, to help prepare meals and organize events for the elderly. Help needed from 15:00 to 17:00.

'Piko is turning thirteen soon…'

Gumi grabbed the pen, circled the advertisement, and stuffed the page into her backpack.

'Thanks, Rin.'

Piko stared at the blacktop from his seat. He frowned. It was going to be difficult to do anything on the blacktop with the amount of snow covering it. He didn't expect so much snow. He watched the snowfall from his window the previous night. He was sitting on his bed, angry. He was still angry. He needed to punish Gaijin but how was he going to do so with all this damn snow?

'But I'm doing something good. He's a monster.' He repeated this to himself.

He gave his attention back to his teacher. His teacher was discussing life in feudal Japan, a time when sons followed and obeyed their fathers. The father was the central figure of the household. It was the son's duty to carry on his father's name. The son was to follow in his father's footsteps. Father and son.

The words rang through Piko's ears and tightened his throat. Piko gazed up at the sky and soon he felt his eyes burn. He excused himself to use the restroom. Piko locked himself into the stall and then he permitted himself to sob silently while the hot tears poured over his cheeks and onto his legs.

'He wouldn't be proud.'

Okay I MESSED UP: last chapter, Gumi's mother says to Gumi: "Make sure you end up killing yourself over it, okay?" She's supposed to say: "Make sure you don't end up killing yourself over it, okay?" Holy shit, I was rereading the last chapter and when I saw that I wanted to slam my head against a wall. Haku has her faults but she would never intentionally hurt her daughter like that. I can't believe that I didn't catch that error so please, no worries, Haku is not an abusive nutjob. She's just an overtired and underpaid mother who hates seeing her kids stressed-out like herself. I feel that I sort of revealed Gumi's secret now, if some of you haven't guessed what Gumi did in the past. Ugh. My bad. I'll fix that later.

Yeah, but damn thank you all so much for the support! I'm making an author's note tomorrow and making it separate from this instead of explaining what's going on in my life right now in this chapter. When I make the author's note, I'll also reply to some of your reviews because why not? Some of you need a big high-five for remaining loyal to my story and my sporadic updates! So look out for that around tomorrow. Bye!