01 - When Life Gives You Lemons You Fucking Burn the Tree Down
Cutting the crust off of the tomato and kale sandwich, Kristoff zipped it up in a Ziploc bag and placed in carefully in a brown papers sack. "Are you sure you have everything you need? ID? Insurance forms? Medical cards?"
Grumbling, Elsa glanced at herself in the mirror. Hair was a complete disaster, and no time to make it prsentable. "Yes, dad, I'm not forgetting anything."
"I'm just saying, this isn't like high school pep band or college theater. This is a real. Rock. Band. With managers and contracts and dotted line signatures and everything." Kristoff shrugged, placing the stapled-shut paper sack into Elsa's backpack alongside her notebooks, laptop, and other necessities. "I want my daughter to make a good first impression with her new hooligan employers."
Wrapping her hair up into a messy bun with her trusty red scrunchie, Elsa made a sour face, replying, "You're honestly the most worry-wart big brother in history."
"I'd worry more, but I know you were already up at 4 a.m. this morning overpreparing. You'll definitely wow them with your wizard magic light shows and explosions!" Kristoff grinned, helping her put on her backpack. "Seriously, call me if you need anything."
"Okay okay, you got it. Gosh, you're so uncool." Elsa joked lamely, pulling the straps on her backpack tight as she leaned in for a hug.
She held on for a full minute, trembling slightly. "I don't...I don't wanna mess this up. Could I just...please not mess this up?"
Letting her go, he ruffled her hair. "Just breathe. Breathe and do what you do. Make some friends. Let them do what they do. It's how a team works."
"Okay...okay, I can do this."
"Where the fuck is our worthless, shit-for-brains manager?!" Ariel screamed, scratching her fingers against the strings of her bass.
"Chill out, Ariel, it's only practice." Rapunzel sighed, leaning back on her stool and raising her right foot, deftly twirling a drum stick between her toes. "This is our last tour for him anyway...far as I'm concerned, ugly sideburns can get plastered at every titty bar in town if it means I don't have to see him around."
"Yeah...titty bar..." Anna drawled, scooting further into her Ninja Turtles sleeping bag. "He may be a money grubbing jackass, but he's definitely got it made."
"Yeah well, we'll have it made too. Just wait 'til you see our new whiz kid in action." Rapunzel grinned, bouncing over and grabbing the end of Anna's sleeping bag. "I talked shop with her a little after you passed out in the shower. Real graceful move, by the way. I had to lend her one of my shirts. Anyway, she really knows her stuff...it's gonna blow your mind."
Ariel nodded. "Can't be worse than monkey man..."
"Yeah, uh huh, we'll see what Squeaker's got if I didn't freak her out too much last night-" Anna mumbled, just before being unceremoniously dumped out of her sleeping bag. "Nooooo, the cold, the daylight, noooo, I'm fucking melting!"
"Nooo, our little bitchy witch had to be awake, nooo." Rapunzel mocked, nudging Anna's leg with her foot. "Get up and play something, wake up before our newbie gets here."
"Like what." Anna grumped, sitting up and reaching over for her guitar. "Cold heartless bitch of a drummer?"
"How about 'Mary had a bitchy vocalist"?" Rapunzel retorted.
"Mary...Mary...hah, you'd be WRONG!" Anna cheered, strumming the chords gently. "~Mary, you're still on my list~ ~won't you give me just a little kiss~"
A guitar pick bounced off her head, followed by Ariel's threatening voice, "Sneak some disount Hall and Oates lyrics in another song, I fucking dare you."
"~One on one, I'd kick my bassist's ass tonight~ ~she's a freaking ho~" Anna grinned.
"MOTHERFUCKER" Ariel lunged her as the door opened slowly.
"Um...I g-g-guess this is the right p-place...h-hello?" Elsa meekly squeaked, taken aback as Ariel and Anna brandished their instruments like samurai swords while they circled each other. "Th-that's probably not g-g-good for th-those..." she stammered sheepishly.