Uh huh! A bit more for you guys! These are a bit more difficult to write,
haven't had much to inspire me! Hope you enjoy this one!

Jackie

PART 46 - As Drunk As A Skunk

"Jeeez, Flyboy, next time you rib me about what eating Beltway Burgers is doing to my weight, I'm going to rib on you and what those damned veggies is doing to yours!" I grunt out, walking a step at a time – actually, slower than that, it's more like shuffling – up the steps to my building with a very inebriated Harmon Rabb Junior clinging to my shoulder. "C'mon, Harm! Work with me here!" I reach to grab his leg and lift it to the first step.

My painstaking attempt to get him up the stairs and, eventually, into my apartment is not going unnoticed by Harm, who is just laughing his head right off. "S-s-s-sorry. . Ma-ac." He hiccups and then starts laughing all over again. "Trying to do the best I can." Somehow, I doubt that.

"Shhh! You're going to wake the neighbors."

This just makes him laugh even harder. "Shhhh! I'll tell them where. . .where they can s-shove it! No-ones gonna tell meeee, that I can't see my girlfend!" He slurs.

Girlfend? Oh boy! "I'm not your girlfend anymore, remember?" Hey, if I'm wearing the rock, I sure as hell am not just the girlfend. . .erm, girlfriend.

At this, he stops any progression whatsoever making me trip on the first step and, miraculously, wind up on my six instead of on my head. When I look up to Harm he's giving me such an odd and comical look. A cross between shock and pouting. "Did we break up?" For a moment, I swear, he sobered up. "Cause, you told me I could drank!"

Oh, why me? "I'm your fiancé, not your girlfriend. . .And when us girls let you boys have a little drinking contest, none of us thought you guys were going to get plastered."

Any attempt of seriousness or soberness washes right out of Harm as he starts laughing again. "Plaster is what you put on your walls!"

Lord help me! This is going to be a long night.

This all began when Cresswell suggested we celebrate the win of a very big, very important case for the Navy. One of those – you gotta prosecute though you really don't want to win – cases. Harm and I were assigned as the prosecution (I'm thinking Cresswell is testing our abilities to work together and still be a couple. I'm hoping that's some sort of good sign at his faith in us.) while Sturgis and Bud were working on the defense. We used every possible legal tactic to win our case, making sure that no one could argue that neither of us did our job. Hell, we even called Cresswell to the stand as a character witness – he wasn't too thrilled about that move. Still, we lost it fair and square and, as a result, a few changes will likely be made to the UCMJ.

So, the four of us, along with the General Cresswell and Mrs. Cresswell, Harriet, Coates, Vic and Barbie (Yes, they are still dating! Ewww! I kinda feel sorry for him. . .not.) all headed to McMurphy's. We literally turned the place upside down – a fight broke out, the cops were called in and even some people got arrested.

Harm had never been shy drinking around me until the moment we became involved. After having a long conversation, he was worried that any alcohol on his breath would, somehow, make me fall off the wagon when we kissed. His concern was sweet and, I gotta say, it really made me feel all nice and warm inside. I mean, how cute is it that?

One of the things I learned by being with Harm is to let things happen. So I have, or at least, I've been trying to lose some control of things. In turn, so has he. However, this is the man that I love and hope to spend my life with. It's my duty to be concerned that the menfolk decided to play darts while drinking. It's been a longstanding, unwritten rule that mixing liquor and sharp objects is not a very good idea. And tonight we got reminded why. . .

I put my foot down, as did Harriet, when Bud and Harm tried to play. Six tequila shots and three games in, Sturgis was lining his shot up, tongue sticking out of his mouth and to the side, one hand wrapped around a cold brew. (Yes, the image is as funny as it sounds.) The General takes this particular moment to walk across the bar to his wife, straight through the line of Turner's fire. The dart wound up sticking Cresswell on his six. Apparently, it was quite painful and for a tough Marine, the General was crying like a baby. I gotta say though, it was a better shot than Vic's which landed INSIDE the jukebox.

The fighting and it's subsequent arrests began when Cresswell started running around like a dog chasing its own tail, trying to prevent Mrs. Cresswell from touching his injured six. In the process, he wound up banging into a rather large, rather surly looking biker who just had a friend too many with him. The next thing I know fists are flying and all of us – save for Barbie who was hiding under the table – got involved.

When the cops showed up, the bikers wound up getting arrested, as no one could believe that a group of military officers would wind up in a pub brawl. Our night was over.

After saying our goodbyes, I attempted to shove, yes, shove, Harm's six foot four frame into his Corvette, a feat that boggles the mind. How the hell does the man get into that car? Does he fold in? Thank God I can drive stick, though that really didn't help when your fiancé is busy trying to feel up your thigh. I kept slapping his hand away, chuckling slightly. And okay, fine, I may have let him cop a feel or two. Maybe it was three.

Driving to my place was just fun. When he wasn't touching me, Harm spent most of the trip with his head out of the window yelling at people on the street. He actually asked a car next to us if they had Grey Poupon, told a couple to 'get a room' when they were kissing at the bus stand. My favorite thing though, was all of the airplane noises when I took sharp turns, those were cute.

Finally making it into the building, we step into the elevator and Harm just starts hitting ALL of the buttons. "Harm, don't! The last thing we need is to get stuck. . ." Oh no. . .no no no no no! "SHIT!" I yell out, when I feel the elevator jerk roughly then stop altogether.

"Oooops." He says, turning to me with a silly grin before covering his mouth and laughing unabashed. "Do you think we're stuck?"

Really, again, I have to ask, "Why me?"

"Why you? Well that's easy, Mac!" He says, then leans against the back wall, eye brows lifting up and down suggestively. "You're sexy. . .that's. . .one." He slurs, then wavers slightly seemingly forgetting whatever else he was going to say. "Twoooo." He says, showing me three fingers, "You're like. . . a girl. . .guys like girls. . ." Stopping for a moment, he seems to consider this and then smiles sloppily. "Well, most guys like girls. . .Like me - I like you. . .I like you because, weeeeell, I'm a guy!"

I can't help but laugh, he looks like a maniac. His hair is a mess, his uniform is un tucked and out of place and he has this glassy eyed look. Yup, definitely a maniac. A cute maniac, but a maniac non-the-less. "Glad you like me, Harm. . .Else this marriage thing wouldn't quite work."

"Twooo. . ." He stops for a moment, almost as if he forgot something, then shrugs it off. "Two. . .You have no idea how. . ." Hiccup. "Much." Hiccup." "You turn me on."

"I can guarantee you that I know how much I turn you on." I say smugly, "However, we need to get out of this elevator and get you to bed." I then push by him to get to the emergency phone. Pulling it to my ear, I wait for the operator to respond. As I begin to relay the information, I feel Harm's breath on my neck, an arm wrapping around my waist. "Yes, we're safe . .Thank you." I turn to face Harm only to find him with this hazy, comical, love struck glance. "They said thirty minutes, can you hang on for that long?"

Harm nods, but it looks more like he's just bopping his head. "Hmmm. .. not enough time, but it will do."

"Not enough time for what exactly?"

Instead of a verbal answer, he leans forward, eyes closed, mouth doing a kissy face. Actually, his kissy face looks more like a fish out of water, trying to gasp for air.

I can't help bust out laughing. "Harm, cool your jets. . .While I'm finding this whole drunk you kinda amusing, I'm not about to sleep with you while you're as drunk as a skunk."

"Oh. . .yeah. . .right." He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a black, leather wallet which he fumbles with before it opens. "Three." Oh, jeez. Well, at least he's got the number right! "You look. . .good. . .You smell good too. . .but you look good." He rifles through the plastic thingies in the middle of the wallet where you can put pictures and credit cards and such. "WE look good." Harm slurs as he pulls out a picture of us taken almost a lifetime ago during a NATO ball. "Sexy, but good."

"Mmm Hmmm, we do look good." Hey, I figure if I can't beat him, join him. It might be a long wait.

He then continues to pull out pictures of our friends, the Roberts' kids, and then reaches a picture that catches my attention almost completely. Actually, it was more like being blindsided by a Tomcat. "This is my fav-o-rite picture of you."

Out of it's own accord, my eyebrow shoots up in annoyance. That little, filthy, green monster rears it's ugly head. And, to be honest, I don't know why. I mean, he's marrying me. He wants to be with me. There is no one else. Still, Kate Pike! Why the hell does he have a picture of KATE PIKE in his wallet. And it's not just a friendly picture, of the two of them together taken. . . you know? I couldn't stomach that either. But this picture really takes the cake. Kate Pike, in a bathing suit! I'm taking deep breaths, counting to ten, while he describes what he likes about me/Kate in the picture. Really, I am trying not to kill him.

"And your lips. . .I mean, wow. . .You're just. . ." Suddenly, he stops the description and is pouting again and picking at his tie, I assume trying to get some imaginary lint off of it. "Mac." Harm says softly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not feeling too well." By the sound of his voice, I am agreeing with his assessment. "The elevator is spinning."

Oh shit, last thing I want or need is for the man to spew in our little space. "Uh, it's alright, Harm. . .Just pick a spot and watch it intently. . .Here, lay on my lap." I pull him towards me, resting his head in my lap as I stroke my fingers through his hair. "Just breathe, Harm. . .Breathe in, count to ten. . .breathe out. . .keep doing that."

"Three. Four. Fi. . ." He barely gets 'five' out before he's out cold. I sigh deeply and wait for rescue while the object of my affections is out cold.

It took the team a good thirty minutes to find us (They were searching in the wrong building.) and one particularly cute, but very young, firefighter named Mark, helped me carry Harm into my apartment. Not bothering with sticking him under the shower, which he needed to get the cigar and stale beer scent off of him, I take off as much as his clothes as I can, leaving Harm comfortable enough to sleep. I push him to lay on his stomach, then place the sheets over him. Brushing some of his hair to the side, I place a kiss on Harm's cheek, then venture to my bed for the night – the sofa.

It doesn't take a genius to figure that I will be mulling over the Kate Pike picture all night. There was one moment of victory though when I stopped myself from going through his wallet. I believe that to be one of the more ultimate forms of privacy violation and just won't do it. But, damn, am I tempted. It's going to be a long night. . .

- - - - - -

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, someone shoot me, please. . ." Groggily, I pop an eye open at the very odd sound coming from my bedroom. "Just make it stop!" It's eight in the morning and my fiancé is up, no doubt, with one hell of a hang over.

I toss my blanket off of me and head towards the bedroom to find Harm hanging half off of the bed, with Assassin giving him a sad look. "Hang over?" I state, only to have Harm whip around to face me.

"Shhh! Keep it down!"

Yup, hangover. "I wasn't yelling." I whisper, then sit at the edge of the bed, the movement making Harm turn, literally green. "Harm?"

"Oh shit." He places his hands over his mouth and then hauls it into my bathroom. He returns ten minutes later, showered and with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. "I. Feelikeshit." He says as best as possible, leaning his body against the frame of the bathroom door.

"Well, if you're willing, I have a patented MacKenzie Hangover Remedy." Really, I do, though the taste of that stuff is worse than the hangover. I don't tell Harm this, of course. The concoction contains an assortment of things that, by themselves, are nice to digest, together, they will gross out just about anyone. I get a sick feeling in my stomach as put the drink together for Harm. A drink that contains things like tomato juice, raw eggs, honey, vinegar and a few other spices. Finally, I slip two pieces of bread in the toaster and let them burn a bit before smothering them with honey. Hey, it may sound crazy, but it had worked for me in the past.

Harm gives me this cute puppy dog look and makes a face as I place the remedy before him. "You know, normally I just have some Alka-Seltzer or aspirin with water."

"Alka-Seltzer has aspirin in it and aspirin can mess up your liver. After drinking too much it's the worst thing you could put your body through." Or so I was told once. Back in the day, a sure remedy was the types of waters that baby's drink to help prevent dehydration and a bit more of whatever it was that you'd been drinking. I was not about to give Harm more alcohol. With great distaste, he chugs down the drink, cringing once the wicked aftertaste hits him. "The cure is worse than the ailment."

He nods his agreement and then starts on the toast. "How bad was I?"

I shrug. "Not too bad. You were actually rather funny. Especially when you were yelling at people on the street as we drove home." He has the grace to look amused. "I could've done without you puling out a picture of Kate Pike and comparing her to me though." Ah, that did it. Blew him out of the water, so to speak.

"Ka-kate? Pike? Kate Pike?" Harm looks truly mortified. "Ummm, how? Where?"

Trying not to let my jealousy affect me was damned near impossible. "Your wallet. . .You were. ..umm. .. hitting on me and pulling out pictures of me and of us and. . .then you get to her picture thinking it was me."

"Oh, there's no comparison." He throws out casually, as if it made a difference. It would have, really, if it wasn't that I am so damned. . .confused when it comes to Harm.

"What does that suppose to mean?" I ask, rather defensively.

Harm takes it at face value and for all of my hiding, I realize that he knows I am jealous. "You're jealous." Yup! He definitely figured it out! Damned Squids! "And you do not have a thing to be jealous about." Oh, no, just that she basically told me about their wild weekend together. I shudder to think about what else she would have told me if I'd poked around a bit. "Kate was a. . .friend. . ." Uh huh, that's where it ends.

"She wasn't just a friend, Harm. . .You slept with her. Kate told me so."

Apparently, he didn't know that I knew. At least, that is what I can figure by his pale face. "She told you?" The paleness changes to red with embarrassment and I am sure he's wishing that the whole line of questioning would be stricken from the record. "Tha-that was a long time ago. . .And it only happened once. . .I mean, Kate is fun and all but she has a habit of being a bit too. . ."

"Brazen?" I offer.

"Well, yes, no! She's a good friend." He finishes, then reaches over and takes my hand. "Mac, you don't have a thing to worry about when it comes to Kate. . .She's part of the past and that's where she's staying."

There is a soft sincerity to his voice. "I trust you. . .But, it was a bit weird to find you comparing me to her."

"It was definitely the booze talking. . .To start off, you have nicer umm. . .ummm." His hands are rounding over his chest almost creating an imaginary balloon.

"Breasts?" I finish for him, quirking up an eyebrow in amusement which only makes him blush.

"Yeah, those." He nods enthusiastically, then pulls me a little closer. "Besides the fact that you're ten times more beautiful than Kate, there's this thing about the way you kiss."

The way I kiss? Okay, he has me intrigued. "What about the way I kiss?"

"It's addictive, Mac. . .And Kate, was definitely not addictive. . .But, you are." He leans in to kiss me and then pulls away quickly, leaving this sexy tension between us. "Umm, Mac? We might want to leave the kissing stuff until later." He places a hand over his mouth and backs away from me. "I smell like a brewery." Which is quite amusing considering he's showered and cleaned.

"Ah, don't worry, Squid, I got a pack of breath mints." I pull him close to me and place a chaste kiss on his lips.

As Harm leans towards me again, he stops just short of my lips and grins. "Sooo. . .what's in your wallet?"