This chapter contains adult themes that have been edited down to suit the M rating. The explicit version is posted on Archive of our own. Copy the link below and paste in to your browser after the AO3 website name.

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OoOoOoOo

"You're looking better." Tsunade smiled as she entered the small hospital room.

"I guess 4 days on hard drugs does that to you." Kakashi said wearily. She shot him a disapproving look but it didn't have much impact as her eyes flashed a smile. The relief she felt seeing him awake and laughing was overwhelming. But she was the Hokage. She couldn't show her personal feelings so readily.

"I've been told by the nurses that you are eating regularly and sleeping well. As long as you continue to take your medication when you leave…. I think you are free to go." She said cheerfully. Kakashi's face lit up slightly. She could see the relief flash through his own eyes at her words. "But Kakashi… You're not to go back to your duties. We've told you Genin that you are on a top secret S rank mission and I've personally threatened the more… vocal, of our workforce that if they are to utter a single word about where you really are they will be neutered. So you don't have to be worried about that. I want you to go home with Tenzou and you are to stay with him until I have personally examined you and given you a clean bill of health, understand?" She asked, leaning forward slightly.

"Yes M'lady." He said weakly.

"And Tenzou." She turned to face the ANBU who had been silently observing from his seat next to the bed. "Take care of him. If he ends up back in this hospital it will be on your ass, got it?"

"Yes… Of course M'lady." He answered, gulping audibly.

"Good. Enjoy your time off." Her eyes sparkled as she threw a quick wink in their direction. Yamato was surprised to see Kakashi blush furiously without his mask to hide his cheeks.

OoOoOoOo

Kakashi sat cross legged on Tenzou's bed. He leaned slightly against the headboard as he flipped leisurely through the pages of Icha Icha. He hadn't dared try to read it since that day at the training grounds. But after being released from the hospital the day before, his heart feeling physically lighter due to the medication he was on. He felt it was time to get back on the horse.

Tenzou was sitting a few feet away from him, folding clothes. He had decided that if his friend was staying indefinitely that he would have to make room for some of his things. He didn't want Kakashi to have to live out of a suitcase. He was recovering well, faster than Tsunade had anticipated and he was worried that if he didn't do everything in his power to make the other man feel comfortable that he might relapse.

Kakashi's eyes flicked from his book to the man on the floor. He felt guilty that his friend was doing all this work to accommodate him. But every time he had offered to help he was waved away and told to relax.

He was surprised with himself. He rarely felt comfortable around anyone, not even his friends. But since he had started spending time with the ANBU he had found that he felt oddly pacified when the man was present. He used to feel the same way around Iruka, at the beginning. It hadn't really realised that that particular aspect of their relationship had dissipated until he had started feeling that way around Tenzou. Now when he thought back on his last few months with Iruka he realised that what he had mistaken for contentment was actually just familiarity.

After a moment's thought it occurred to him that he had stopped reading his book a few pages ago. His eyes were glancing towards his friend so regularly that it could have been called leering, he had barely read a single line. Although he knew the story by heart and turned the pages when necessary, he whole heartedly wasn't paying attention.

"Tenzou." He asked, his voice soft, heart pounding.

He looked up, a dubious smirk crossing his face as Kakashi petted the bed in front of him invitingly. He stood obediently, making his way over and sitting cross legged in front of the other man.

"What?" He asked with a chuckle after a long silence. Kakashi stared at him, heart in his throat.

"I… um…" Kakashi said lamely, trailing off. He started to feel stupid. His genius had failed him. Tenzou cocked his head slightly, a frown furrowing his brows.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern laced in his voice. He had taken to asking him that question frequently. If Kakashi so much as cleared his throat he was there in an instant asking if he was okay.

"Yes. Thanks to you." He answered finally. Their eyes locked and Tenzou was surprised to see the mismatched orbs were clouded with an unguarded emotion. His breath hitched.

He's…

Before he could finish his thought he was being kissed. His surprise swallowed by Kakashi's hungry lips as he moved closer, straddling Tenzou's lap.

There was a couple of seconds of shock before his body responded, his lips moving in time with his friend's and his penis becoming ridiculously hard at the realization that the moment he had imagined in his mind since he had first met the man, was finally happening.

Tenzou wrapped his arms around Kakashi, holding him tight for a second before a hand slipped down to cup his buttocks and pull him closer. The other hand ran slowly up his back and neck to rest in the other man's hair, tugging lightly as they panted against each other's mouths.

Kakashi pulled away and Tenzou moaned at the loss of contact. The Jonin tugged insistently at the hem of his friend's shirt and he lifted his arms obediently so the offending article of clothing could be removed. The same action was then repeated for him. Kakashi keened towards the warmth of the other's skin. He ran his hand down a firm chest and pinched at a dusky nipple. Tenzou groaned, his body getting ahead of his mind. He removed Kakashi's hand gently, pulling it up to his mouth and kissing it softly before leaning close.

"I don't want to take advantage of you." He whispered, his breath lingering near the shell of the other's ear.

"I want this." Kakashi breathed back, his hips pressing forward a few times in to his friend's painfully obvious arousal. Tenzo grunted, a small gasp following, sending shivers down the Jonin's spine. "Please?" The Copy Ninja asked, leaning in to run his skilled tongue up the other's neck and along his jaw.

Tenzou couldn't take it anymore. He stilled Kakashi's rutting hips with one hand and used the other to unbutton the pants in front of him. A moan escaped the Jonin's lips as a hand pulled his erection free with a firm grip. He pumped it slowly, watching as Kakashi's eyes fluttered closed and his mouth fell opened. A moan that was almost a cry falling from the slackened jaw.

"Tenzouuuu." He keened, his hips overpowering the restraint and thrusting forward again. Yamato grunted once more, using the hand that had been relieved of its duties to undo his own pants. His cock throbbed painfully. "Fuck." Kakashi groaned as he felt the heat of the other's arousal connect with his.

Tenzou pumped them both together with his right hand, using his left to pull Kakashi even closer, capturing his lips in a fiercely possessive kiss.

"Ugh… Jesus… fuck…" He whispered against the Copy Nin's mouth, his strokes becoming faster, more deliberate.

"I'm n-not… uhh… going to… last." Kakashi stuttered out, pulling his mouth away from the others and letting his head fall back as another long moan escaped him. He used his arms to hold himself up, resting them on the bed behind him as hurtled towards release.

Tenzou grinned, leaning forward to bite down hard on the other's exposed pulse point.

"Fuck! Tenzou!" Kakashi screamed, his hips rutting forwards hard as the mixture of pleasure and pain caused him to lose it. His orgasm ravaged his entire body. Toes curled as tears stung his eyes, the force of his climax so strong it was almost painful.

"Senpai!" Tenzou groaned out, his own peak triggered by the sight of Kakashi's rigid body, shaking with desire. It knocked the wind out of him. He found himself falling backwards until he was staring up at the ceiling.

There was relative silence for a moment as their heavy breathing slowed to soft pants. Kakashi opened his eyes slowly, pushing himself up to he wasn't leaning on his arms anymore. He was still straddling his friend, a coy grin on his face.

Tenzou looked up at him a shy smile crossing his own features as he let go of his Senpai's cock.

"That was… hm." He coughed nervously. "Good."

"Amazing." Kakashi corrected.

"Well yeah… It was. I've never… hm." Another cough. "Cum so hard from something like that before. It winded me." He admitted timidly.

"Me either… I didn't know something… like that… could be so enjoyable." Kakashi said, stumbling over his words trying to find the right way to express himself.

Iruka was his first real partner. The first person he had allowed to call him his. He had fucked other people in the past. But it was just sex. The occasional blow job from a woman in a bar. But he had never had anyone bring him to completion with just a hand... Save when he had tried to break up with Iruka and himself when he was alone of course.

The scanty orgasm he had experienced at Iruka's hand just days before had him believing that it wasn't possible for a hand job to feel so amazing.

I was so wrong…

He thought, briefly wondering what else he was wrong about.

"We should… um, clean up I suppose." Tenzou smiled, pointing between their messy stomachs. Kakashi nodded, moving off him quickly and sitting awkwardly on his knees, not sure what to do next. "Did you want to grab a shower?" The ANBU asked, standing and holding out his hand. His friend nodded again, taking the hand and allowing himself to be lead in to the bathroom.

Yamato hummed as he turned on the water and checked the temperature. He shed his pants, motioned for Kakashi to follow him in when the water was right. They washed in silence, both thinking about how to encroach the subject that desperately needed to be spoken about before it was too late.

Kakashi tried hurriedly to think of the right words, but his mind and body betrayed him so readily as he watched his Kohai lather himself in soap. Before he could stop himself he was pressing the other man against the shower wall, his erection rubbing insistently against the others thigh as he kissed him passionately. Tenzou moaned, smiling in to the kiss as he felt himself growing hard again.

He pulled away, gently using his hands to hold the other man still as he slipped away from him. Kakashi looked slightly embarrassed at his overeager gesture being denied.

"I think we should talk first." Tenzou whispered. He pulled Kakashi close once more, kissing him softly and then moving away again. A small apology for pulling away without explanation and a promised that if their talk goes well he would definitely be keen to resume Kakashi's ministrations.

The Copy Ninja nodded in understanding at the unspoken words, the sting of rejection only slightly lessoned by the promising kiss. He doubted he would be able to work up the courage to take charge again even if their talk did go well. He had never handled rejection very well, as evidenced by his medical condition.

They finished cleaning themselves in a slightly uncomfortable silence. Tenzou realized his mistake when he had seen the hurt flash through Kakashi's eyes. But there was nothing that could be done now other than talk it out.

They moved to the bedroom and dried off, dressing in a silence filled with tension as each man struggled to decide on how to proceed, both hoping that the other would start the conversation. Eventually Tenzou sighed, sitting down on the edge of his bed and motioning for Kakashi to sit next to him. He knew it was his job to start the talk. Kakashi being in the vulnerable state he was in meant that for once in his life he was allowing another person to take care of him. To be in charge of him. The ANBU realized that this was probably the first and only time he had allowed this to happen since his Father had passed. Kakashi was a man that needed to be in control.

It must be incredibly distressing for him to be relying on me so heavily.

"Kakashi." He started, waiting until the other man's mismatched eyes were locked with his before he continued. "I like you." He said softly, taking note of the slight raise of the other brows. "I have… for a long time. But… you probably knew that." The Jonin nodded, forcing down his own words until the other had finished his speech. "But… You only just ended your relationship with Iruka and… knowing you the way I do… I feel that if you felt like you had the choice to stay with him you would have. So… I guess what I'm saying is that I understand you're still in love with him." He finished, smiling faintly. It was hard to keep the hurt from his voice. He didn't need his Senpai feeling sorry for him.

Sensing that the conversation wouldn't continue unless he added something Kakashi opened his mouth to speak. He stopped himself suddenly, changing his mind at the last minute. He knew what he wanted to say but not how to relay it.

"Tenzou… I…" He paused, rubbing at his forehead with his palm as if trying to massage the words from his brain. "I do love Iruka… But… I don't want to." He said as evenly as he could manage. "He's a hypocritical douchebag. He hurt me. I believed him when he promised he never would and now I've been humiliated in front of the whole village." He stopped again, his mouth suddenly dry at the thought. He cleared his throat and exhaled slowly. "I've always liked you Tenzou… But as a friend."

Yamato nodded, looking away suddenly, his lips pursed. The words he dreaded hearing hurt more than he could have imagined.

"Well then…" He interjected. "I think we should leave it there. We both know what's going to be said so how about we just leave it before someone gets hurt." He chuckled awkwardly as he stood, needing to get away from the situation before the walls that threatened to close in on him collapsed. He didn't want Kakashi knowing he was already hurt. He didn't need the pity.

A hand wrapped around his and tugged at it lightly. He looked down despite himself, not wanting to see Kakashi's beautiful face at this moment.

"I'm not finished." He said softly, tugging his hand again. Tenzou sat back down, curiosity getting the better of him. "I've always liked you as a friend but these past few days when I look at you… I've felt something else stirring in the pit of my stomach. The way your face lights up when you smile, your dark eyes glinting when you make a joke, it was almost too much for me to take." He smiled, looking down. "I'm incredibly attracted to you. I feel safe with you. I… tell you things that I have never told anyone… You're… like… my anchor." He struggled, looking up again. "But I'm scared."

"I don't want to be your rebound Kakashi." Tenzou said sternly, wanting to make his desires known to the full extent. "If you want me… you have to promise me that you're giving your whole self to me. That when you get better you won't just fuck off and find someone else."

"That's what I'm scared of." Kakashi choked, tears brimming in his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you. I know how deeply you feel for me and I can honestly admit right now that I don't feel that deeply for you…. Yet. What I feel at the moment is a crush at best. I've always sort of liked you. I've always thought you were hot but I didn't know you were gay and when I found out it was too late because I was with Iruka… I… ugh, God, I really… really hope that this, what I feel… turns in to something more but… I can't promise it and…" His eyes overflowed, he rubbed at them with his free hand embarrassed to be crying once again. "I hate this!" He shouted suddenly. "I'm strong! I don't cry!"

Tenzou smiled, his heart was heavy with his own pain, but Kakashi was sick, he came first. He leant forward, pulling the other man in to a solid hug.

"It's okay. I understand." He sighed.

"No! You don't! I… I can't promise I'll love you but I don't want to lose you." He faltered.

"You won't." Yamato chuckled, rubbing at the other's back softly.

"You can't promise that though can you?" Kakashi asked softly, his face now resting in the crook of the other's neck.

"No." Tenzou answered honestly. "I will always be your friend Kakashi. But I can't promise that I'll be available and waiting for you forever. I have my own needs that range beyond sex. I want someone to be here waiting for me when I come home. I want to have someone to fight for when I'm on a mission. I want a family." He said softly. "I want you so bad but… If you can't promise you'll give me those things then I think we should just pretend that didn't happen before. We didn't actually have sex… We can come back from this." He finished, pulling away to look in Kakashi's eyes once more.

He nodded reluctantly, wanting with every fibre of his being to be able to say he'd give him those things.

"Okay... so it's settled. We're just friends." Tenzou smiled weakly, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. He stood, looking around awkwardly for a second before deciding what to do next.

"Dinner?" He asked.

At least he'll sit with me while we eat…

Kakashi nodded eagerly. Incredibly happy that he hadn't been thrown out, yet filled with sadness at the prospect of hurting someone he cared for deeply. He wanted desperately to tell Tenzou he loved him. To promise he would love him forever and never ever hurt him. But unlike Iruka, he knew when to keep his mouth shut. He needed to make sure he wasn't just rebounding before he said anything. He needed to make sure the feeling he thought was love, was real. He couldn't tell him he loved him until he made sure every little bit of love he had for Iruka was gone.

OoOoOoOo

The incident.

That's how Kakashi had come to refer to what had happened the day before. Not out loud of course. Just in his mind, as he analysed it over, over and over again.

28 hours now…

He thought dejectedly as he watched his 'just friend' making dinner. His toned arms flexing as he moved about in the kitchen, chopping vegetables. He had never noticed how muscular his Kohai had become. He hadn't seen him without a shirt on since their ANBU days. The regular Jonin uniform and civilian clothes he had been wearing for the last couple of days really didn't do his figure justice.

He swallowed at the thought, his eyes flicking down when he realised he was staring. He wondered what the other man was thinking. He seemed unaffected by the incident. Which in turn left himself feeling incredibly foolish and self-conscious for thinking about nothing else for the last 28 hours.

Has he even thought about it at all? Why can't I stop thinking about it? It was… Amazing. I just… I can't hurt him. Not Tenzou... I need him. I don't love him. It's just a crush… Lust…

He thought, his breath hitching and his pants tightening.

"Kakashi?"

"Yes?" He asked, looking up swiftly. Tenzou was eyeing him questionably.

"I said do you want pumpkin?"

"Oh… Yes please." He answered softly, looking back towards his hands. Willing his erection to go down.

"Are you alright?" Tenzou asked, moving around the table to place a comforting hand on his friend's strong shoulder. Kakashi felt himself shudder, his heart thumping loudly at the contact. His body responding as his friend squeezed gently.

"I… Um... Yeah. I'm fine… Excuse me." He lied, jumping up suddenly. "I need to… Um" he trailed off, backing away and pointing towards the bathroom. He locked the door behind him. Leaving a stunned Tenzou standing, arms folded in the kitchen.

He leaned against the door, sighing at his lack of tact. He cringed. His friend had probably observed his arousal.

He's probably laughing at me.

He closed his eyes, hands trailing down his own stomach before resting hotly on his cock. He whimpered slightly, the friction almost painful. He removed his hand, stripping off his clothing and stepping in to the shower. He turned the nozzle, letting ice cold water spray over his front. He hissed, hands clenching, teeth gritted as he subjected himself to this innocent form of torture.

Tenzou grinned to himself. He had been trying to forget what had happened but the persistent presence of the silver haired Jonin had been making it hard to breathe. He could have sworn he had seen the beginnings of a bulge in his pants as he stood. But he could have imagined it. Either way it was a nice thought.

Kakashi had already showered this evening but he could hear the running water pulsating softly through the wall. He smiled as he went back to cooking their dinner.

Maybe he was worked up… That would explain the jumpiness. But then again maybe he's upset…

The smile fell from his face as he imagined his dear friend crying in the bottom of the shower. He willed the thought away, focusing instead on the meal in front of him. He had often heard the expression: 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach' and seeing as trying to get there through his dick hadn't worked he thought he may as well give this a try.

The shower stopped and Kakashi emerged a few minutes later, wearing only his sleep pants, looking flustered.

Either he just had a very warm shower or he's been…

He stopped the thought mid-way, not wanting to think about the possibilities. He needed to get this meal perfect and fantasising about his friend touching himself was not the way to do that.

The way his cheeks flushed as he dipped his head back, mouth opened, milky neck exposed.

He swallowed hard, concentrating on stirring the gravy.

The small sounds that slipped from his lips when my hand wrapped around him….

A few blinks to clear his vision.

The look of bliss on his face as he came…

"Fuck." Tenzou hissed, pulling his hand away from the boiling liquid to inspect the damage. "NOoOoOoOo…" He whined softly as he used his uninjured hand to move pot of gravy off the hotplate and turn it off. It had boiled over while his mind was elsewhere, scolding him in the process. Kakashi was next to him in a flash, directing him to the sink and holding his wounded hand under cold water.

He was in pain, but it was nothing compared to how he had been hurt on missions. This pain was mild at best.

"You weren't paying attention." Kakashi whispered, his breath hot on his friend's ear. It was Tenzou's turn to gulp, his own pants feeling incredibly tight at the close contact. He nodded feebly, leaning back slightly so his shoulder rested against Kakashi's chest. The Copy Ninja had his other arm cradled protectively around his lower back. It felt nice. "What were you thinking about?" He asked, deliberately slow and drawn out, so his breath danced along the sensitive skin of the brunette's neck.

"You." He answered honestly, turning his head slightly to look in to Kakashi's uncovered Sharingan. There was a second's pause before he made up his mind, leaning forward just a touch to capture Kakashi's lips. His friend moaned, his grip tightening.

Tenzou pulled his hand away from the water, shutting it off before turning and roughly pushing Kakashi so his backside was up against the kitchen table. Kakashi let himself be pushed down so he was sitting on it, his friend parting his thighs insistently so he could stand between them. He was kissed passionately, his breath practically being sucked out of him as his erection from earlier returned with a vengeance. He hadn't touched himself in the shower. Sheer willpower had willed it away and was keeping it in check until now.

"Fuck… Tenzou…" He whimpered, grinding his hips forward slightly. "I can't…. give you…" He whispered brokenly between pants. "Everything."

"I don't care." Tenzou growled in response, pushing Kakashi again so his back hit the table roughly. "I don't care." He lied again, his eyes watering involuntarily. Kakashi ignored it, knowing the feeling too well. He scooted up the table so he was lying on it completely and wrapped his legs around Tenzou's waist.

OoOoOoOo

After a quick wipe down Tenzou was at a loss of what to do. Their dinner may have been ruined in his absence, but Kakashi still couldn't sleep on the kitchen table.

He debated waking the man and asking him to move, but thought better of it. He hadn't seen Kakashi sleep so peacefully in his whole life. He was always rigid, ready to strike.

He sighed, pulling his own pants back on before leaning down to plant a small kiss on his friend's lips. He slipped his hands under, lifting him up. He was surprised he didn't rouse. But then again, how often did Kakashi actually sleep easy. How often did he allow himself to fall in to a deep sleep?

Never…

He thought bitterly as he laid him down on the bed.

He always feels vulnerable. But I guess he feels safe here.

He stepped back, pulling the covers over his friend's sleeping form and smiling, his heart fluttering at the sight. He moved across the room, plucking something off the top of the dresser before slipping it under the blanket and in to warm hands.

Kakashi pulled the dog close, sighing contently as dreams of a happy life plagued his sleep addled mind.

Tenzou moved back in to the kitchen, satisfied with his handy work. He cleaned up the ruined food and put the kitchen back in order. Opting to skip dinner, ignoring the persistent growls of his ravenous stomach.

He didn't care. He didn't want to hear it. He was too eager to slip in to bed next to the man he loved.